Masturbation - Why is it so bad!?

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I think the main reason I seem stuck on it is because it’s one of the few things in my life that I feel uncertain about how bad of a sin it is (as I don’t have issues with unhealthy eating or other things you mentioned above). I just recently stopped pirating music which I feel was another thing to move past, but this is a little bit harder to stop doing 😊
Then, my simple advice would be “when in doubt, don’t do it”. But I think you are down the right path. I can see that you are trying to put your life in order 👍

And big cheers for stopping pirating music. :clapping: That’s one more good thing you’ve done.

Pray harder and don’t lose heart. God bless!
 
I think the main reason I seem stuck on it is because it’s one of the few things in my life that I feel uncertain about how bad of a sin it is (as I don’t have issues with unhealthy eating or other things you mentioned above). I just recently stopped pirating music which I feel was another thing to move past, but this is a little bit harder to stop doing 😊
My comment wasn’t aimed at you. When you’re 14 your main interest is sex which is natural(like you put it: because of the raging hormones). As people grow older their “desires” shift. They become more interested in things like eating rather than in sex.
In other words it is tougher for a 14 year old not to masturbate(Lust) than it is for a 50 year old. On the other hand it is tougher for a 50 year old NOT to over-indulge in food(Gluttony) than it is for a 14 year old(I’m generalizing a bit to make a point).
So the 50 year old who tells a 14 year old how sinful masturbation is, should maybe ask himself about his own sins. In other words “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”(John 8:7)

I’m not saying masturbation is not a big deal but don’t beat yourself up too much about it if you fail. Talk to your confession priest about this. He has a lot of experience with this topic. I bet masturbation is the number one sin on the top ten sin list of confession:D
 
Wow! This is beautifully exposed! /clap

To add:

While masturbating is natural and at first considered innocent, it can very quickly turn into an obsession and uncontrollable habit. And it isolates you from a relationship.

In RL, for the past 4 years, I have been working in Computer Forensics for a LEA. Most of the crimes I have to investigate and analyze are of the sexual kind and mostly against children.

One same factor is consistent in all cases:

The gradual deterioration of the uncontrollable sexual appetite.
One day you think its “only” this, the next week you add a little of “that” and before you know it, sin has gained a stronghold on your soul. All it needs its a small little door.

Keep reading Elizabeth’s post over and over again and please keep an open communication with your parents and your priest (or pastor).

Another thing, prayer is your sword! Don’t be afraid to use it!

Be Blessed
Wow! Absolutely interesting! Thanks for sharing! 👍
 
The fact that you are reaching out with your struggles is a very good sign. I am very proud that you are being transparent with your struggle and pray the Lord can show you the way to conquer any and all struggles of the flesh.

And while it is not easy, still make the effort to reach to your parents and your priest.

God Bless You!
How am I to approach my parents with a topic like this? It seems incredibly awkward to me… I mean I talk to my parents about pretty much everything, but this is just different…

Also, Duc_in_Altum
To the OP,
No sir, masturbation is not a good thing, even when it is “without lust” as you say, which doesn’t make any sense, by the way.
Definition of lust: The simple definition of lust is having a self-absorbed desire for an object, person, or experience. When we are in lust, we place the object of our desire above all things in our lives. From a Christian perspective lust is bad because we are putting the object of our lust above God. (access-jesus.com/definition-of-lust.html)

Since I’m not putting this above God, and I’m not using pornography nor images of anything (fantasizing ect.) and it’s just a source of release… I can’t see how that could really be lust. Can you please explain? I can understand how masturbation is still sinful (without lust that is), but with how I understand lust, it is possible to do without lusting after something.

Lastly, Lui
…I’m not saying masturbation is not a big deal but don’t beat yourself up too much about it if you fail. Talk to your confession priest about this. He has a lot of experience with this topic. I bet masturbation is the number one sin on the top ten sin list of confession
How am I supposed to bring that up to a priest during confession? I don’t know… I feel like it’s hard to talk to people (even behind a wall for which he cannot see me past) about this topic in real life (hence why I came here :o)

Thanks to everyone for the posts, this thread has really helped me out!
 
Definition of lust: The simple definition of lust is having **a self-absorbed desire for an **object, person, or experience. When we are in lust, we place the object of our desire above all things in our lives. From a Christian perspective lust is bad because we are putting the object of our lust above God. (access-jesus.com/definition-of-lust.html)

Since I’m not putting this above God, and I’m not using pornography nor images of anything (fantasizing ect.) and it’s just a source of release… I can’t see how that could really be lust. Can you please explain? I can understand how masturbation is still sinful (without lust that is), but with how I understand lust, it is possible to do without lusting after something.
You are lusting after the thing itself and, therefore, putting it above God.

It can be overcome. Gluttony is the doorway. Fasting and prayer are the remedies. But first, you must correct your reasoning and know that you are doing your own will and not God’s.
 
You are lusting after the thing itself and, therefore, putting it above God.

It can be overcome. Gluttony is the doorway. Fasting and prayer are the remedies. But first, you must correct your reasoning and know that you are doing your own will and not God’s.
If this is true then wouldn’t watching a good movie be ‘lust’? Just because one masturbates does not mean he/she’s puts it above God… Just as I could enjoy a good book or video game, one can enjoy masturbation (even though it is sinful). It doesn’t mak it lust…
 
If this is true then wouldn’t watching a good movie be ‘lust’? Just because one masturbates does not mean he/she’s puts it above God… Just as I could enjoy a good book or video game, one can enjoy masturbation (even though it is sinful). It doesn’t mak it lust…
There is a movie on at 2pm, but you are supposed to pick up your sister at 3pm. Do you make your sister wait until after the movie is over, just so you can have your ‘pleasure’?

You are trying to reason a way to make this acceptable. Your reasoning is in error and must be corrected.

Put God first, instead of putting yourself first.
 
There is a movie on at 2pm, but you are supposed to pick up your sister at 3pm. Do you make your sister wait until after the movie is over, just so you can have your ‘pleasure’?

You are trying to reason a way to make this acceptable. Your reasoning is in error and must be corrected.

Put God first, instead of putting yourself first.
No… I’m not trying to make masturbation acceptable. I’m saying that lust is not always involved… So what you’re saying is that masturbation does not involve lust if you’re not being selfish and putting yourself in front of others. So technically masturbation is not always lustful, though it is always sinful. If not, please explain better…
 
No… I’m not trying to make masturbation acceptable. I’m saying that lust is not always involved… So what you’re saying is that masturbation does not involve lust if you’re not being selfish and putting yourself in front of others. So technically masturbation is not always lustful, though it is always sinful. If not, please explain better…
Definition of lust: The simple definition of lust is having a self-absorbed desire for an object, person, or experience. When we are in lust, we place the object of our desire above all things in our lives. From a Christian perspective lust is bad because we are putting the object of our lust above God. (access-jesus.com/definition-of-lust.html)
Definition of lust: The simple definition of lust is having a self-absorbed desire.

self-absorbed - A person who cannot stop thinking about themselves

Desire - to wish or long for; crave; want.

Masturbation always involves lust. If not outwardly, then inwardly.
Gluttony is the doorway. Fasting and prayer are the remedies. But first, you must correct your reasoning and know that you are doing your own will and not God’s.
How many souls do you release from purgatory by playing video games?
 
You should read this.

ewtn.com/library/SPIRIT/GRANADA.HTM

CHAPTER 30

Remedies against Pride

SECTION I

General Remedies

St. Thomas gives us a profound reason for this. All sin, he says, proceeds from self-love, for we never commit sin without coveting some gratification for self. From self-love spring those three branches of sin mentioned by St. John: “the concupiscence of the flesh, the concupiscence of the eyes, and the pride of life” (1Jn. 2:16), which are love of pleasure, love of riches, and love of honors. Three of the deadly sins, lust, gluttony, and sloth, spring from love of pleasure, pride springs from love of honors, and covetousness from love of riches. The remaining two, anger and envy, serve all these unlawful loves. Anger is aroused by any obstacle which prevents us from attaining what we desire, and envy is excited when we behold anyone possessing what our self-love claims. These are the three roots of the seven deadly sins, and consequently of all the others. Let these chiefs be destroyed and the whole army will soon be routed. Hence we must vigorously attack these mighty giants who dispute our entrance to the promised land.
 
CHAPTER 32

Remedies against Lust

SECTION II

In all temptations, but particularly in temptations against purity,** remember the presence of your guardian angel and of the devil, your accuser, for they both witness all your actions**, and will render an account of them to Him who sees and judges all things. If you follow this counsel, how can you, before your accuser, your defender, and your Judge, commit a base sin, for which you would blush before the lowest of men?
 
No… I’m not trying to make masturbation acceptable. I’m saying that lust is not always involved… So what you’re saying is that masturbation does not involve lust if you’re not being selfish and putting yourself in front of others. So technically masturbation is not always lustful, though it is always sinful. If not, please explain better…
My advice–seriously–just go to confession and talk to a priest about it. Don’t depend on lay Catholics for spiritual guidance. They don’t have the credentials–go to someone who is actually trained and experienced in providing spiritual comfort. All you will get here is guilt and condemnation from 90% of the people here, unfortunately. Many get a kick out of throwing stones in glass houses. And remember that God’s grace, love and forgiveness are without end.
 
In RL, for the past 4 years, I have been working in Computer Forensics for a LEA. Most of the crimes I have to investigate and analyze are of the sexual kind and mostly against children.
I am glad there are people like you to do this work, but I think it must be a terrible psychic burden.
The gradual deterioration of the uncontrollable sexual appetite.
In this modern age, I suspect that masturbation → porn → more masturbation → more porn → etc. becomes a horrible, bottomless pit.
 
How am I to approach my parents with a topic like this? It seems incredibly awkward to me… I mean I talk to my parents about pretty much everything, but this is just different…
Well, I normally bring the subjects up with my children and they sure don’t like it, LOL. But it needs to be done. Just get your dad away for a sec and tell him you have questions about manhood and sex. Same with the Priest. Keep in mind, there is no easy way to do it.

There is only one stupid question and that is: The one that goes unasked. All other ones are valid regardless of how you ask them.

Follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance and don’t be afraid.

God Bless You.
 
Lastly, Lui

How am I supposed to bring that up to a priest during confession? I don’t know… I feel like it’s hard to talk to people (even behind a wall for which he cannot see me past) about this topic in real life (hence why I came here :o)

Thanks to everyone for the posts, this thread has really helped me out!
Don’t think it is less embarrassing for me:o. Don’t worry. The priest has heard it all before. If I were you I would try to confess face to face and just be straight forward with the priest about your problems and concerns. That’s what I do. If I have things I don’t really get or confuse me I mention that too. He will understand the problem and give you some solid advice based on his experience.
I can really imagine that it is hard at your age to talk about this face to face. I often hesitate before I go into the confession booth.
Another possibility would be to make an appointment with a priest and talk to him about your general worries of confessing certain things and tell him that you find it hard to confess. Maybe the priest will help you take the anxiety.🙂

I’m not sure if you necessarily need to talk to your parents about this. I would talk to your priest first. That’s just my opinion because I can imagine that this is really awkward. At the end, this is something between you and God.
 
According to Jewish exegesis, sexuality is a gift. God gave humanity a command to reproduce. They consider it a tragedy if a man never marries and never has children.
On and on. Sexuality is a gift from God to be enjoyed.
True, Judaism does indeed tell us that sexuality is a gift from God. It also tells us, as does Catholicism, that sex is a powerful unifying force between two people. This is a major tenant of Catholicism. At 2345 the catechism states “Chastity is a moral virtue. It is also a gift from God, a grace, a fruit of spiritual effort…”
Catholic exegesis that minimizes stuff like this …
Catholic exegesis does not “minimise stuff like this”. In fact, Catholic theology reinforces what Judaism says. The Cattechism tells us that Chastity is a prime moral virtue and that sex should be for marriage, just as Judaism does. Both religions indicate that human sexuality is a powerful force and with it comes great responsibility.
If X was a mortal sin, plain and simple, then why does the Catechism not say that X is a mortal sin. In fact, the quoted section of the Catechism in a previous post says that a person’s culpability for masturbation may be “minimal.” So, I think it is unfair to burden people by judging their actions and pronouncing judgment on them.
The Catechism does indeed state that a persons moral culpability may be “minimal”. Let’s quote exactly what the catechism says, at 2352 - “To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.” Note how it does not tell us to not judge. We may indeed judge someone who is addicted to masturbation, but our judgement must be an “equitable judgement” based on the relevant factors outlined in the quoted passage… Notwithstanding, in an earlier passage the Catechism tells us unequivocally at 2342 "Self-mastery is a long and exacting work…The effort required can be more intense in certain periods, such as when the personality is being formed during childhood and adolescence*…"* **and at 2343 *“Chastity has laws of growth…”

*Obviously, controlling the human sexual impulses, masturbation included, is a work in self mastery.That powerful human force can be destructive if not harnessed and used properly, that is, within a proper context. Elizabeth502 outlined beautifully the consequences of an undisciplined and unrespected human sexuality. The fruits of an undisciplined human sexuality are now rather obvious throughout much of western society.
Let’s stay committed to the truth, by all means, at all times, but READ what the Catechism says – culpability - minimal. when I was in Catholic high school in the mid-1960’s, the subject came up and the priest said that it was a venial sin, and COULD BECOME a mortal sin under some conditions.
Practice what you preach and read the Catechism not only carefully, but in context. It tells us that moral culpability may be minimal. It also tells us that masturbation, of itself, is a grave disorder. Obviously, if the gravity of that disorder is not accepted, and no attempt is made at self mastery, then moral culpability must increase. It follows that It doesn’t need to be spelt out to a thinking person that a deliberate and wilful acceptance of the abuse of human sexuality is a mortal sin.

So, come on. Let’s be consistent. People who want the hell-and-brimstone message about masturbation, based on equivocal and unreflective interpretations of the old covenant, are Judaizers, as the translations of the NT call them.
The hell and brimstone message about masturbation applies according to the level of moral culpability the moral agent has, which, as explained, derives from the wilfullness of the moral agent. To simply say that the hell and brimstone message applies to old covenanters is to missrepresent both Judaism and Catholicism. That’s not honest.
We get squeemish about the subject of masturbation, admit it. It’s one of our favorite and most misrepresented venial sins, especially in this forum. Who wants to defend it? Well, nobody does, really.
Most people recognise that there is a continual battle to self master our most basic human desires and that any of them may takeover a persons entire life if self discipline is not practiced. Masturbation is one aspect of a very powerful human drive and self mastery of it is needed if the individual, and even society itself, is not to slip into an uncontrolled hedonism. Some might argue we are on the way already!
What about gossiping or stealing? Mortal or venial sins? The Catechism says that stealing from somebody who can afford the loss is NOT A SIN. John Paul II said that one of the greatest temptations in our age is relativism. but, the catechism, itself is very relativistic. The culpability for the sin of masturbation is a BIG maybe. READ IT. I don’t think anybody should bully around in these forums with questions like this.
Your argument went to hell in a hand cart with this paragraph. Please show us where we can steal from the rich? As for stating that the catechism is itself relativistic, well, that’s just plain errant nonsense. The Catholic Catechism, if you bothered to read all of it, is built and predicated on Natural Law morality. It is an objective moral code and the antithesis of moral relativism. You need to learn the difference.
 
“Masturbation is the deliberate stimulation of the sexual organs in order to derive sexual pleasure” (CCC 2352).

The Church teaches that sex has two main purposes that must be sought in the marriage act: sex is for reproduction of children within a valid marriage, and it is a loving, unifying act between husband and wife. Masturbation violates both aspects of the natural law and is thus a grave sin.
 
I looked up this thread because I myself have trouble with masturbation. When I’m in stress, lonely, overwhelmed by work - that’s when I find myself most tempted. And today I wasn’t strong enough to resist after abstaining for 2 months.

When I read Corinthians 6:18-20 I understand that masturbation is a sin against my own body.
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
bible.cc/1_corinthians/6-19.htm

About relationships - I tend to be rather self centered, prefer doing things on my own and just have a few close friends. And I never had a romantic love relationship and I feel tense when talking to women. And my friends keep teasing me - “Why don’t you have a girlfriend” and “Come on, get a life”. As if it was something easy to “find a girlfriend”. It’s hard enough for me to keep up with my work and studies… And I’m useless at multi-tasking :confused:
Did stopping the masturbation in last 2 months improve my prospect of finding love? No, I didn’t experience that and I still felt shy and really uneasy at parties and these kinds of events. Though maybe I did experience a feeling of higher self-worth.

Now I’m in doubt - Am I unworthy to receive Jesus in the Eucharist tomorrow?

Dear readers. pray for me that I may be strong enough to keep away from the evil.
 
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