Masturbation... yet again

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exsurgedomine

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The sin that so many of us struggle with. However, I’ve been able to control it quite well for the past few months. The only problem that has now arisen is that I sometimes catch myself in the act, before I actually stop. This is of course without reaching the point of ejaculation. Does that still constitute a mortal sin, or even any sort of sin, if I am fighting against the temptation and am able to stop before fully committing the act?
 
It depends on intent. If the fact you started to do it is totally based on habit and then you stop as soon as you realize what you are doing, then it wouldn’t be a sin.

If you purposely start to masturbate and then just stop before you ejaculate so that you get the pleasure, then you are committing a sin.

If you start to masturbate then guilt causes you to stop before you ejaculate then it would probably be a venial sin.
 
What he said! (Marauder)

Actually I had never heard it put that way before, but that is a good explanation. :clapping:
 
Stimulating the genitals for the purpose of pleasure outside of a legitimate marital relationship where the act leads to completed intercourse is wrong.

With or without ejaculation, it is still masturbation. The first simply being an incompleted form of the second.

You will never conquer this vice without stopping both.

Avail yourself to the sacraments of the church, they are your greatest weapon against this.

I have said a prayer for you.

God bless,

raff
 
I used to have this problem. I actually gave it up for Lent 2 years ago and that broke me from it comepletely, now I don’t even consider doing it.
 
I don’t think I had malicious intentions, and I really didn’t have knowledge of it being wrong without the ejaculation. Going to Communion’s supposed to clear us of the venial sins… I thought that these and other matters were venial so I went to Communion. But all this is making me second guess everything. For example, having impure thoughts in itself isn’t a sin because it may be a temptation. It will only be mortal if you embrace it and continue it with your full knowledge. That’s the sort of logic I used when trying to distinguish sins. In this case, I thought it wasn’t anything serious, because it was more of something automatic happening without giving it any real purpose or thought, something that I fought off after realizing it. So I guess the point is, after said situations, am I still in grace?
 
One of the things necessary to make a sin a mortal sin is knowing that the sin is wrong. If you truely in your heart of hearts didn’t know that masturbation was a mortal sin then it does not technically fulfil the requirements. But if the reason you didn’t think it was a mortal sin was because you were rationalizing it that way and didn’t believe in the teaching then that is a different matter. But now there are two issues here:

a) You now know that wilful masturbation is a mortal sin so in the future doing it will be a mortal sin.
b) Why play around with technicalities? Isn’t it better to be safe then sorry, go to confession, confess it and start with a clean slate.
 
exsurgedomine said:
I don’t think I had malicious intentions, and I really didn’t have knowledge of it being wrong without the ejaculation. Going to Communion’s supposed to clear us of the venial sins… I thought that these and other matters were venial so I went to Communion. But all this is making me second guess everything. For example, having impure thoughts in itself isn’t a sin because it may be a temptation. It will only be mortal if you embrace it and continue it with your full knowledge. That’s the sort of logic I used when trying to distinguish sins. In this case, I thought it wasn’t anything serious, because it was more of something automatic happening without giving it any real purpose or thought, something that I fought off after realizing it. So I guess the point is, after said situations, am I still in grace?
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It objectively was a mortal sin but since you didn’t know that it was a mortal sin then it wasn’t - does that make sense. Now you alone have to search your heart to tell whether you actually knew that it was a grave sin…but I’m sure you’ve done that already.
 
exsurgedomine said:
The sin that so many of us struggle with. However, I’ve been able to control it quite well for the past few months. The only problem that has now arisen is that I sometimes catch myself in the act, before I actually stop. This is of course without reaching the point of ejaculation. Does that still constitute a mortal sin, or even any sort of sin, if I am fighting against the temptation and am able to stop before fully committing the act?
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Sin is in the will, not the technique. So you could commit sin with just your thoughts and not even touch yourself. Whether that sin is mortal or not you should discuss with your confessor.
 
I wouldn’t regard what happened as mortal sin, though it certainly is sinful and something to take to prayer and the sacraments. There is no reason to ignore it, but that doesn’t mean it should have you swamped. 🙂

Petition Mary and Joseph – with their prayers through the workings of the Holy Spirit, may you be conformed to Christ, the salvation of the world.

love tony
 
I have a real problem. I am married to the most wonderful man. We have 3 children and 6 grandchildren. We love each other but…my husband has no sexual feelings anymore for the past 15 years. We have had long conversations about it. He has gone to the doctor and he is physically fine. My question is masturbation. Is it a “SIN” for me in marriage?
 
lat92 said:
I have a real problem. I am married to the most wonderful man. We have 3 children and 6 grandchildren. We love each other but…my husband has no sexual feelings anymore for the past 15 years. We have had long conversations about it. He has gone to the doctor and he is physically fine. My question is masturbation. Is it a “SIN” for me in marriage?
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We as lay people can not pronounce something as sin or no sin. BUT the facts are:

According to the CCC:
It is grave matter. It is always been considered by teaching and tradition to be grave matter. It is disorderd, and not the proper use of the sexual organs.

To be 100 percent faithful to the Church, it is not allowed or loopholed or permitted, or recommended, or advised.

However, just being grave matter is not enough to be sin. There has to be knowledge that it is sin, and no mental problems that cause this to happen…if you can struggle and fight the temptation, then if you lose the struggle, it is going to be sin of some type. If you are mentally unable to fight it (mentally disabled, ingrained habit, etc) then it may not be classified as sin.

Solo sex is wrong all the time, and it is not something anyone should embrace for any reason. Even those who struggle with it habitually should work on breaking their habit and not keep on keeping on.
 
This habit is so easy to fall back into. Just when I thought I beat it after going weeks I fell back into the habit again. The priest in my area is against frequent confession though so I can’t really go to confession for it for a while. He doesn’t think it’s a mortal sin anyways. In fact, I live in a very liberal area so most of them all share that opinion and also don’t encourage frequent confession. If it would not be for CAF I wouldn’t even bother careing about the sin or try to stop. I think that I’ll just start over and try to stop again and then in another month or so confess it.
 
lat92 said:
I have a real problem. I am married to the most wonderful man. We have 3 children and 6 grandchildren. We love each other but…my husband has no sexual feelings anymore for the past 15 years. We have had long conversations about it. He has gone to the doctor and he is physically fine. My question is masturbation. Is it a “SIN” for me in marriage?
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Would you consider it a sin if you gave yourself sexually to someone other than your husband? Masturbation is doing just that only that person other than your husband is you.

Now your husband isn’t in the clear here either. It can be sinful for him not to give himself to you…even if he doesn’t feel like it. He is withholding his gift of self from you.

Have you been to the doctor with him? I only mention it because we guys are notorious for not telling the whole story to our wives with regard to medical issues.

While this article is from the male perspective, it’s easily reversed to be from a female point of view.

Ask St. Joseph to pray with you on this.
 
lat92 said:
I have a real problem. I am married to the most wonderful man. We have 3 children and 6 grandchildren. We love each other but…my husband has no sexual feelings anymore for the past 15 years. We have had long conversations about it. He has gone to the doctor and he is physically fine. My question is masturbation. Is it a “SIN” for me in marriage?
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We all are called to be chaste both inside and outside of marriage.

When you say that your husband has no sexual feelings for the past 15 years, are you saying that he does not desire physical intimacy? There are many, many ways to be physically intimate without sex.

Men’s testosterone levels decrease with time which might be considered “physically fine” by a doctor. However, 15 years without physical intimacy is not “emotionaly fine”. I would strongly recommend some sort of counseling to find out the nature of the problem. And masturbation is not okay while you two figure this out. I also suggest is that when you feel the urge to masturbate in order to satisfy your physical need, you and your husband get together and pray the rosary together.

I will pray for you and your husband.
 
StCsDavid said:
Would you consider it a sin if you gave yourself sexually to someone other than your husband? Masturbation is doing just that only that person other than your husband is you.

Now your husband isn’t in the clear here either. It can be sinful for him not to give himself to you…even if he doesn’t feel like it. He is withholding his gift of self from you.

Have you been to the doctor with him? I only mention it because we guys are notorious for not telling the whole story to our wives with regard to medical issues.

While this article is from the male perspective, it’s easily reversed to be from a female point of view.

Ask St. Joseph to pray with you on this.
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Excellent article you got there. The best part is the unitive aspect of being rejected as a spouse: - unity with Christ’s suffering. I like that… but how many husbands or wives think that way? I can only pray that I will always be in God’s grace to be able to do so.
 
Chancellare said:
Excellent article you got there. The best part is the unitive aspect of being rejected as a spouse: - unity with Christ’s suffering. I like that… but how many husbands or wives think that way? I can only pray that I will always be in God’s grace to be able to do so.
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Thank you for your kind words. It’s easy to write what one should do, but I struggle living it as do many. It is a cross to bear for certain.
 
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