masturbation

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billcu1

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I seem to have trouble with masturbation and I think the biggest thing is habit. I went to confession I haven’t been able to go to Mass. But then I haven’t been trying as hard as I could. I went a while after confession doing good (no masturbation). Then got scared and messed up again. I don’t think I can break this habit or something will happen. Or something, that seems to be it. I need work. Now other than the Mass the best prayer there is. Is Mary the saint of purity and chastity? Does the rosary help with this. I say the liturgy of the word for everyday. I need something stronger. I will ask my pastor’s advice too. I am getting tired of this.

Bill
 
Yes, the rosary will help as will attending daily Mass.

I would encourage you to discuss this matter more with your Confessor, including finding out when and if this is a mortal sin for you. This may require some additional counseling/spiritual direction, but it would be well worth it. 👍
 
If you fall, just keep getting back up. That is rule #1.
 
Pray the chaplet of the saints, they really help. And daily rosary.

Prayer is our stronghold.

Spiritual reading (Saints’ Books). Avoid idleness.

You can sing while you pray too. Try this

The spiritual consolation you get from praying, devotions will detach you from sin.

Frequently receive the sacrament of confession.
 
I am praying for you. May the Holy Spirit assist and guide you, and give you strength.
 
It is a habit …but also a sin. With prayer, determination & self control, it can be broken.

Go to confession, regularly, and receive communion at Mass. God will strengthen you.

Your best bet also is to find an interesting hobby that will occupy your thoughts & try to meet a decent Catholic girl who you will want to remain pure, for.
 
I’m on 40mg of Paxil, which virtually eliminated all my sexual desires.
 
Just imagine that God is in the room with you, staring right at you. That’s what worked for me.
 
It is a habit …but also a sin. With prayer, determination & self control, it can be broken.

Go to confession, regularly, and receive communion at Mass. God will strengthen you.

Your best bet also is to find an interesting hobby that will occupy your thoughts & try to meet a decent Catholic girl who you will want to remain pure, for.
A “decent” girl and/or a “Catholic” girl. That’s quite a staggering assignment.

Bill
 
So long as we live in this world, we cannot remain without trial and temptation: as Job says, “Man’s life on earth is a warfare.” We must therefore be on guard against temptations, and watchful in prayer, that the Devil find no means of deceiving us; for he never rests, but prowls around seeking whom he may devour. No one is so perfect and holy that he is never tempted, and we can never be secure from temptation.

Although temptations are so troublesome and grievous, yet they are often profitable to us, for by them we are humbled, cleansed, and instructed. All the Saints endured many trials and temptations, and profited by them; but those who could not resist temptations became reprobate, and fell away. There is no Order so holy, nor place so secluded, where there are no troubles and temptations.

No man can be entirely free from temptation so long as he lives; for the source of temptation lies within our own nature, since we are born with an inclination towards evil. When one temptation or trial draws to a close, another takes its place; and we shall always have something to fight, for man has lost the blessing of original happiness. Many try to escape temptations, only to encounter them more fiercely, for no one can win victory by flight alone; it is only by patience and true humility that we can grow stronger than all our foes.

The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help, better than by your own violence and importunity. Seek regular advice in temptation, and never deal harshly with those who are tempted, but give them such encouragement as you would value yourself.

The beginning of all evil temptation is an unstable mind and lack of trust in God. Just as a ship without a helm is driven to and fro by the waves, so a careless man, who abandons his proper course, is tempted in countless ways. Fire tempers steel, and temptation the just man. We often do not know what we can bear, but temptation reveals our true nature. We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him.

Some people undergo their heaviest temptations at the beginning of their conversion; some towards the end of their course; others are greatly troubled all their lives; while there are some whose temptations are but light. This is in accordance with the wisdom and justice of God’s ordinance, who weighs the condition and merits of every man, and disposes all things for the salvation of those whom He chooses.

We must not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but earnestly pray God to grant us his help in every need. For, as Saint Paul says, “With the temptation, God will provide a way to overcome it, that we may be able to bear it.” So, let us humble ourselves under the hand of God, in every trial and trouble, for He will save and raise up the humble in Spirit. In all these trials, our progress is tested; in them great merit may be secured, and our virtue become evident. It is no great matter if we are devout and fervent when we have no troubles; but if we show patience in adversity, we can make great progress in virtue. Some are spared severe temptations, but are overcome in the lesser ones of every day, in order that they may be humble, and learn not to trust in themselves, but to recognize their frailty.
-The Imitation of Christ, Book 1, Chapter 13

This helped me.
 
I seem to have trouble with masturbation and I think the biggest thing is habit. I went to confession I haven’t been able to go to Mass. But then I haven’t been trying as hard as I could. I went a while after confession doing good (no masturbation). Then got scared and messed up again. I don’t think I can break this habit or something will happen. Or something, that seems to be it. I need work. Now other than the Mass the best prayer there is. Is Mary the saint of purity and chastity? Does the rosary help with this. I say the liturgy of the word for everyday. I need something stronger. I will ask my pastor’s advice too. I am getting tired of this.

Bill
It’s a lifelong struggle with minute advances and significant setbacks. The important thing is never to despair and give up. This is a very common sin. Probably the most common of all grave sins - apart from gossip, calumny, and detraction. Accepting our own weakness with respect to this sin helps us to grow in humility and dependence upon God (spiritual poverty). Perfection is in the next life. Here the best we can hope for is steady progress. So we pray, work, remain willing, and trust God. Things even out as you progress in the faith and also as you grow older. Keep up the effort without beating yourself up when you fail. Get right back on the path each time. Be honest with yourself interiorly about whether you want to curtail/stop this out of love for God or whether you just fear punishment. Ask for the grace to see this sin and other sexual sins as God sees them rather than as they’re presented during temptation. Pray always. Strive to practice greater virtue in other areas of your life because the grace you receive from that will assist you in this struggle. Understand that it’s a marathon and not a sprint.
 
It’s a lifelong struggle with minute advances and significant setbacks. The important thing is never to despair and give up. This is a very common sin. Probably the most common of all grave sins - apart from gossip, calumny, and detraction. Accepting our own weakness with respect to this sin helps us to grow in humility and dependence upon God (spiritual poverty). Perfection is in the next life. Here the best we can hope for is steady progress. So we pray, work, remain willing, and trust God. Things even out as you progress in the faith and also as you grow older. Keep up the effort without beating yourself up when you fail. Get right back on the path each time. Be honest with yourself interiorly about whether you want to curtail/stop this out of love for God or whether you just fear punishment. Ask for the grace to see this sin and other sexual sins as God sees them rather than as they’re presented during temptation. Pray always. Strive to practice greater virtue in other areas of your life because the grace you receive from that will assist you in this struggle. Understand that it’s a marathon and not a sprint.
You mention these other things. Gossip, calumny and detraction. Exactly what are they. I have an idea about gossip but when is one gossiping and just talking about something someone told them the other day? I will be watchful for these too.

Bill
 
You mention these other things. Gossip, calumny and detraction. Exactly what are they. I have an idea about gossip but when is one gossiping and just talking about something someone told them the other day? I will be watchful for these too.

Bill
Gossip is a sort of catch-all which may include calumny and detraction.

It’s been a while since my doctrinal formation in a lay organization, so my summary might be a little off, but here goes:

Detraction is saying something which is TRUE but can harm the reputation or feelings of a person.

Calumny is saying something FALSE which can harm the reputation or feelings of a person.
 
Gossip is a sort of catch-all which may include calumny and detraction.

It’s been a while since my doctrinal formation in a lay organization, so my summary might be a little off, but here goes:

Detraction is saying something which is TRUE but can harm the reputation or feelings of a person.

Calumny is saying something FALSE which can harm the reputation or feelings of a person.
So if I know someone and say to someone else without any intent of harming them. AFAIK saying this wouldn’t hurt their feelings I would be guilty of detraction. For example, if I say so and so did a year in prison. Which would be true. If it harmed their reputation I would be guilty of detraction. If I added because I knew the person they say they are not guilty. I am still detracting?

Calumny then is obviously a lie. What about things spoken recklessly. Without knowing the truth or falseness? Is that sinful too?

Bill
 
I seem to have trouble with masturbation and I think the biggest thing is habit. I went to confession I haven’t been able to go to Mass. But then I haven’t been trying as hard as I could. I went a while after confession doing good (no masturbation). Then got scared and messed up again. I don’t think I can break this habit
Many of us struggle to overcome habitual sin. Sometimes it just takes some of us a very long time of struggle to overcome this. Don’t ever give up, keep trying and make sure to get to Mass as often as you can. The Grace will strengthen you. You are in our prayers.
 
Many of us struggle to overcome habitual sin. Sometimes it just takes some of us a very long time of struggle to overcome this. Don’t ever give up, keep trying and make sure to get to Mass as often as you can. The Grace will strengthen you. You are in our prayers.
What scares me is that if this isn’t done could it hurt me. When I was entering into pubescence my “wet dreams” were pretty bad I guess I could say. The only way to stop them was for masturbation. I only learned when I entered the Church that it was sin.

Bill
 
What scares me is that if this isn’t done could it hurt me. When I was entering into pubescence my “wet dreams” were pretty bad I guess I could say. The only way to stop them was for masturbation. I only learned when I entered the Church that it was sin.

Bill
You are not culpable for what happens while you are asleep and you are not culpable for what you did not know. Go to confession regularly and keep working on it. Let your heart not be troubled, If you keep working on it God knows you are doing your best and He is very merciful.
 
You are not culpable for what happens while you are asleep and you are not culpable for what you did not know. Go to confession regularly and keep working on it. Let your heart not be troubled, If you keep working on it God knows you are doing your best and He is very merciful.
I have heard reciting the rosary really helps with these chastity type sins.

Bill
 
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