Matrimony: Where did this idea come from? "To help each other get to heaven"

[graceandglory]

Matrimony: Where did this idea come from?

“To help each other get to heaven”

I’ve heard this over and over, but now I’m looking for a source. Is it catechetical? Is there a book on this topic?

Thanks!

 

[graceandglory]

Looking for discussion here:

I found this on a further internet search:

Baltimore Catechism on Marriage

Q. 1010. **What are the chief ends of the Sacrament of Matrimony?

**A. The chief ends of the Sacrament of matrimony are:

   1. To enable the husband and wife to aid each other in securing the salvation of their souls;**
   2. To propagate or keep up the existence of the human race by bringing children into the world to serve God;
   3. To prevent sins against the holy virtue of purity by faithfully obeying the laws of the marriage state.**

All I can say is, “WOW!” I’ve never read this before!!!
How valid is the “Baltimore Catechism” compared to the current catechism?

And, are there any resources out there that explain this (esp #1) in more detail?

As a convert/revert, I have only heard cradle Catholics speak of this being a chief end of marriage.

 

[benedictgal]

Our ultimate goal is holiness. This is our ultimate desire and it should be our ultimate desire for those whom we love. This includes husbands and wives and their children.

Remember what God said in Genesis: “it is not good for man to be alone.” We were not created to live as islands unto ourselves. All of us came from the same body, the body of Adam. Thus, we were meant to live in unity. Part and parcel of that unity is to achieve holiness.

My parochial vicar, in his homily for Easter Sunday, told us that the primary goal of parents should be to rear holy children. But, before parents can rear holy children, they should strive to reach for holiness themselves. This is done through prayer, through assisting at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and through living in union with God.

St. Joseph and the Blessed Mother were prime examples of this. Each edified the other through holiness. The next example that I can think of would be the parents of St. Therese, who strove for holiness and reared holy children.

If we love our spouses, we should desire holiness for them and that both of us be with each other in heaven.

 

[graceandglory]

Thanks, benedictgal!

I really like what you wrote.

I have been thinking about this thought for a couple of weeks, and especially as it relates to raising children. I feel it is my chief aim to help my own children get to heaven.

Not everyone thinks this way though.

 

[benedictgal]

Thanks, benedictgal!

I really like what you wrote.

I have been thinking about this thought for a couple of weeks, and especially as it relates to raising children. I feel it is my chief aim to help my own children get to heaven.

Not everyone thinks this way though.

My PV made the same point. He said that while it is good that parents aspire for their kids to get into a good university or be secular successes, the most important thing for a parent to aspire is that his child get to heaven. And the greatest thing that spouses can wish for each is the grace of holiness so that they can be together in heaven.

 

[graceandglory]

My PV made the same point. He said that while it is good that parents aspire for their kids to get into a good university or be secular successes, the most important thing for a parent to aspire is that his child get to heaven. And the greatest thing that spouses can wish for each is the grace of holiness so that they can be together in heaven.

OK, this is exactly what I wanted to hear!! Now, other than your Parochial Vicar…
Where else can I find writing on this idea?

Where is he getting his thoughts? I haven’t heard a talk or sermon on this, and while well-read in Theology of the Body, I don’t know the source of this idea.

Thanks…

Still interested in the discussion…

 

[benedictgal]

OK, this is exactly what I wanted to hear!! Now, other than your Parochial Vicar…
Where else can I find writing on this idea?

Where is he getting his thoughts? I haven’t heard a talk or sermon on this, and while well-read in Theology of the Body, I don’t know the source of this idea.

Thanks…

Still interested in the discussion…

My PV is a very learned man and the best homilist in South Texas. He takes great pains to prepare his homilies, but, he also spends a lot of time in prayer.

Look at the Genesis account of the creation of man and woman. The Lord says that it is not good for man to be alone. Then, he takes a rib from Adam’s side and creates Eve. She was meant to be Adam’s companion, his spouse. Thus, we all come from one body, Adam’s.

Now, look at Jesus’ references to Himself as the Bridegroom. He is the embodiment of marriage because in Him, God and Man are perfectly united. St. Paul takes the image one step further by saying that Christ is the head of His bride, the Church. She, like Eve, was born from the side of Christ (his pierced side). He gives his life for His Bride so that she can gain holiness and the Church, for her part, strives to help her children (us) achieve holiness so that where the Head is, the Body (which is the Church, which is us) will be.

 

[davymax3]

Man and Women: He Created Them by John Paul II

The ultimate source on Marriage IMHO.

It’s a very hefty and deep book and explains everything in detail.

As for my own ideas… Essential to our human nature are our relationships, without which we can not love. God the Father and God the Son are continually loving eachother. We, created in his image and likeness, have it that this is what we should be, always loving. However, as Chesterton answered to the question of what the “fall” means, “whatever I am, I am not myself.” Cardinal Ratzinger, using a favorite phrase of Chesterton’s describes it as Topsy-Turvy. We are born into an upside down world and our goal is to get to the real world, which is with God. We do that by emulating Christ and loving. Jesus Himself says, “I do nothing on my own authority.” The reason that we don’t look at Jesus, and say, wow, what a slave is because he does this out of Love. Only through Love and dependence can we become truly free. Or as the Eagles say, “…and freedom, well that’s just some people talking. Your prison is walking through this world all alone.” Even they get it! We can only become who we are meant to be through Love, otherwise we are slaves to ourselves.

So… what does all this mean to the aims of Marriage. Well, Marriage ends at death, upon which we will hopefully become part of one Body in Christ. Similar language to that used in Marriage that we will become “one flesh.” I think the reason for this is because, being merely human, it is best that we focus on our family first and love them as much as we can and this is the best way to emulate Christ. We simply are not capable of loving everyone as much because we are not what we should be. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to love everyone, but that God has established this system whereby two people become one flesh and attempt to love eachother more than anyone else on earth by devoting and submitting to eachother. This in turn, helps each to achieve salvation. An act of love by one in that relationships help both achieve salvation. Contrarily, a sin by one, hurts both. So, the chief aim is to assist eachother in reaching eternal salvation, because the chief aim of each individual should be to reach eternal salvation. It just so happens, that within marriage, the aim towards individual salvation is directly related to the spouse’s eternal salvation. They are one and the same thing. And “What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder”

 

[PhilotheaZ]

From Lumen Gentium #41:

Furthermore, married couples and Christian parents should follow their own proper path (to holiness) by faithful love. They should sustain one another in grace throughout the entire length of their lives. They should embue their offspring, lovingly welcomed as God’s gift, with Christian doctrine and the evangelical virtues. In this manner, they offer all men the example of unwearying and generous love; in this way they build up the brotherhood of charity; in so doing, they stand as the witnesses and cooperators in the fruitfulness of Holy Mother Church; by such lives, they are a sign and a participation in that very love, with which Christ loved His Bride and for which He delivered Himself up for her.

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church #1641, bold emphasis added:

"By reason of their state in life and of their order, [Christian spouses] have their own special gifts in the People of God."145 This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple’s love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace they "help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children."146

 

[dixibehr]

This is standard Orthodox Christian teaching, and is mentioned in the prayers of the Marriage (Crowning) Service.

 

[Digitonomy]

How valid is the “Baltimore Catechism” compared to the current catechism?

I don’t think valid is the right word. In terms of which is more authoritative, I would certainly give more weight to the current Catechism of the Catholic Church, which was actually promulgated by the Church. The Baltimore Catechism, by contrast, was put together under the auspices of something like the USCCB of the day.

But the more important difference is that they have two different purposes. The Baltimore Catechism is directed at schoolchildren and thus is short and direct, glossing over some of the complexities that aren’t critical for youngsters learning the teachings of the Church. The CCC is aimed more at adults and so goes into much more detail than the BC. I think each does a good job at its respective purpose.

 

[japhy]

If it is Scriptures you seek, read Ephesians 5:22-33. St. Paul says that marriage (between ONE man and ONE woman) is a sign of the mystery of Christ (the bridegroom) and his Church (the bride). Just as Christ went to great lengths for his Church “that she might be holy and without blemish,” so a man should love his wife the same way. And the wife shall respect and listen to her husband, as the Church is bound to listen to Christ for her own well-being and sanctity. The sanctifying of one member (husband or wife) must be directed to the sanctity of the other, because the two are one flesh.

Also read 2 John 4, which says “I rejoiced greatly to find some of your children following the truth, just as we have been commanded by the Father.” We are duty-bound to God to raise our children in the truth, in the faith of the Church.

Read what the Compendium to the Catechism (Questions 337-350) has to say about Holy Matrimony.

 

[graceandglory]

Man and Women: He Created Them by John Paul II

The ultimate source on Marriage IMHO.

It’s a very hefty and deep book and explains everything in detail.

Thanks, davymax, I have two copies… Here’s what I have found. I’m not sure it speaks of it in the same terms as my original question. I think that somehow a bunch of cradle Catholics really have learned their Baltimore Catechism, and speak it well, when they say that marriage is to help each other get to heaven.

TOB and JP2 can be very hefty, and while the idea is there, it doesn’t say it quite so starkly or easily memorizable and repeatable.

I’m checking out the section in MAWHCT called:
The Sacramentality of Marriage, which thankfully is heavily annotated.

Thanks for the suggestion!

 

[graceandglory]

This is standard Orthodox Christian teaching, and is mentioned in the prayers of the Marriage (Crowning) Service.

Hi, dixibehr,
i’m a latin rite Catholic, and we don’t have the Crowning service in our nuptial masses. Can you share a little more on that?

 

[davymax3]

I don’t understand what you’re looking for? If I understand you correctly, you don’t understand why we should try and help our spouses reach eternal salvation?

 

[graceandglory]

I don’t understand what you’re looking for? If I understand you correctly, you don’t understand why we should try and help our spouses reach eternal salvation?

Nope… . I get it. I’m just looking for more stuff to read on the subject. I really get it.

I’ve noticed that my Catholic from birth friends talk about getting one another to heaven being a purpose for marriage. When I was a protestant, no one ever talked about that.

It’s our Catholic view of marriage as a Sacrament that pretty much brought me back into the Catholic Church.

I’m just looking for something more to read on the concept.

I like the idea, and want to use it when I teach my Theology of the Body for Teens class. I just want to have a source (besides the Baltimore Catechism) to back up the thought.

I’m also checking out Three to Get Married by Bishop Fulton Sheen. Some of it is able to be read online at amazon, some of what I’m getting at is in his book.

 

[davymax3]

OH okay. I see. I misunderstood your motives. Sorry… I got nothing else for you. You seem more well-read on the subject than I. Good luck though.

 

[ruslan]

This is standard Orthodox Christian teaching, and is mentioned in the prayers of the Marriage (Crowning) Service.

Hi, dixibehr,
i’m a latin rite Catholic, and we don’t have the Crowning service in our nuptial masses. Can you share a little more on that?

I would also be interested in that teaching and those prayers.

:heaven: :harp:

 

[Little_Dove]

I have heard Fr. Corapi say this very thing…Any of his CDs on the sacrament of marriage might be a resource you’d like!

God Bless!
To Jesus, through Mary

 

[Aramis]

The issues with the baltimore catechism are mostly those of tone, lack of universality, and particularly narrow Roman focus, shallow answers, and that it does not distinguish between Dogma, Doctrine, Teaching, and Theologumenia.

It’s a good reference, but not properly the authoritative one. The 3rd Plenary Council of Baltimore (essentially, the nascent USCCB) ordered a catechism written, and made it compulsory. Given that all rites other than the Roman (including the Eastern Rites and the other Western Rites) were forbidden by Ruling #3 of the 1st plenary council of Baltimore, and the influx of “Greek Catholics” from Europe was just beginning, the council’s catechism is narrowly constructed, and the “regular” form of it makes no reference to the “greek catholics” at all. (I just skimmed it; it’s available on Project Gutenberg in a variety of formats.)