Matthew 6:14–15

[Nat11]

I have a question about Matthew 6:14–15 which talks about not forgiving others. Let’s say someone commits mortal sin and goes to confession but this person is holding a grudge on someone that did wrong to them. They confess all sins that they have knowledge about and are absolved. But such person is still holding a grudge after confession. Does this mean their confession would not be valid an therefore invalid?

 

[Dan_Defender]

A grudge does nothing objectively to change the past and only subjectively destroys the one who holds the grudge. I am no expert but IMO if the person intends to forgive, that’s what counts at confession. Forgiveness is a process.

 

[BartholomewB]

Yes, from what I once heard a priest preach in a homily, if you are still bearing a grudge, nursing a grievance, or harboring resentment, you haven’t yet truly forgiven the person who wronged you.

 

[Nat11]

Please don’t think I’m a bad person because of this. I posted this because it reminded myself of well, me. I remember that [Insert persons name here] did something wrong to me, I was upset that they did it to me. And now, I treat it like it’s the past and move on with life. I don’t particularly like that person and rather not hang around them but I do not resent them. But at the time of confession, I was so worried about my mortal sin I could care less about what this person did to me and didn’t even think about it. Am I holding a grudge since I don’t particularly like this person? Is not liking someone a sin in its self?

 

[BartholomewB]

Am I holding a grudge since I don’t particularly like this person? Is not liking someone a sin in its self?

I don’t have the background knowledge to enable me to answer that question. I suggest you ask a priest. That way you can be confident you’re getting the correct answer.

 

[Seagull]

Holding a grudge - holding hands with The Devil.

 

[Margaret_Ann]

There’s a difference between “like” and “love”. To like something or someone involves a personal preference e.g. I like chocolate. Love is an act of the will whereby one wills the good of another. (St. Thomas Aquinas) You can not like a person but still love them.

 

[OmnesBonum]

Yes. The only sins we need to think about are our own. This is especially relevant today. However, you can only do the best you can not to feel that way, and that is enough.

 

[Nat11]

I know this response is a bit late. But what if that person that you can’t forgive is yourself? I remember after confession I didn’t really feel forgiven I’m guessing because I could not forgive myself. I confessed mortal sins that I wish not to say in public because I’m ashamed of them (no, I did not murder someone…) But would not forgiving myself hold back forgiveness?