Maverick priest

[vstead]

A friend is unhappy with the new parish priest. A couple, new to the church were married after one meeting with the priest - to discuss arrangements. Another couple had their child baptized having only met the priest once, to arrange it. Friend says there should be ‘classes’ before such important events and calls the priest a maverick. The priest was once a secondary school teacher and worked with troubled teenagers. I wonder if he just has a different way of doing things, especially with younger generation. Any words of wisdom as he is constantly being compared to the older less jovial priest.

 

[SlackerCatholic]

Was it their first child? I know the director of religous ed at my parish let us skip the classes as we were baptizing our fourth child, and she said, I think we all pretty much know what we’re doing by then. I’m sure if there had been concern about our understanding of the sacrament, they would have made us take the classes.

We don’t know what was said in that meeting. Perhaps he is a maverick. Perhaps the couple demonstrated such understanding to him that he decided a class on a 5th grade level wasn’t what they needed.

 

[1ke]

A friend is unhappy with the new parish priest.

None of what you relate is your friend’s business.

Friend says there should be ‘classes’ before such important events and calls the priest a maverick.

The pastor has the authority and lattitude to work with his parishioners in sacrament preparation in any manner he chooses within Canon Law and any guidelines established by his bishop.

So again, not your friend’s business.

 

[vstead]

Was it their first child? I know the director of religous ed at my parish let us skip the classes as we were baptizing our fourth child, and she said, I think we all pretty much know what we’re doing by then. I’m sure if there had been concern about our understanding of the sacrament, they would have made us take the classes.

We don’t know what was said in that meeting. Perhaps he is a maverick. Perhaps the couple demonstrated such understanding to him that he decided a class on a 5th grade level wasn’t what they needed.

Thanks for reply. I’ll remove the aliases to be clearer. My brother told mum that he’d booked the church for his wedding. He doesn’t practice his religion, and his fiance isn’t catholic. The priest said 'As long as one of you is catholic, were good to go. My other brother who doesn’t practice came to the same church, for the first time, he booked a date for his sons baptism and nothing else took place until the day of christening. My mum who adores them both feels as though shes fighting a losing battle if a priest doesn’t offer some RE before such events.

 

[vstead]

None of what you relate is your friend’s business.

The pastor has the authority and lattitude to work with his parishioners in sacrament preparation in any manner he chooses within Canon Law and any guidelines established by his bishop.

So again, not your friend’s business.

There was no preparation whatsoever.

 

[1ke]

There was no preparation whatsoever.

Again, not your business or your friend’s. There may have been preparation you are not aware of, or the priest may have interviewed the couple and determined they did not need additional preparation.

In charity, you must presume the priest is doing his duty under the law and as pastor.

If he does something that directly involves you that you believe to be in violation of canon or diocesan law, then you should take it up with him and if not satisfied then with the bishop.

 

[coachdennis]

Again, not your business or your friend’s. There may have been preparation you are not aware of, or the priest may have interviewed the couple and determined they did not need additional preparation.

In charity, you must presume the priest is doing his duty under the law and as pastor.

If he does something that directly involves you that you believe to be in violation of canon or dioceesan law, then you should take it up with him and if not satisfied then with the bishop.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Thanks for reply. I’ll remove the aliases to be clearer. My brother told mum that he’d booked the church for his wedding. He doesn’t practice his religion, and his fiance isn’t catholic. The priest said 'As long as one of you is catholic, were good to go. My other brother who doesn’t practice came to the same church, for the first time, he booked a date for his sons baptism and nothing else took place until the day of christening. My mum who adores them both feels as though shes fighting a losing battle if a priest doesn’t offer some RE before such events.

Your brothers are adults, the time for your mother to be concerned about their RE was when they were lads. Ask 1ke said, neither you nor your mother know exactly what your brothers said to the priest. For all she knows, he could have allowed these things as a compliment to your mother’s faith, even if your brothers show less than perfect understanding.

If your mother wants to speak to the priest for advice about ways to encourage her sons’ faith, that is one thing. But for you to listen to or agree with her gossip about the local priest is something else entirely. When she starts in again, change the subject.

 

[vstead]

the time for your mother to be concerned about their RE was when they were lads.

I don’t know why one would assume that there was no concern for their RE when they were children. People do stray from the church.

 

[vstead]

Your brothers are adults, the time for your mother to be concerned about their RE was when they were lads.
On the contrary. Your never relieved of that responsibility. - According to my mums parish priest. Ask 1ke said, neither you nor your mother know exactly what your brothers said to the priest. I know every single word of both conversations. I would never dream of gossiping about what may or may not be said between two people. Let me quote brother 1 (wedding) ‘We met priest today. I told him I haven’t practiced for some time and that fiance is not catholic. As mum said, I thought there would be at least another chat before the wedding if not just for Sarahs benefit.’ I hasten to add that my original post with aliases wasn’t so clear.

For all she knows, he could have allowed these things as a compliment to your mother’s faith, even if your brothers show less than perfect understanding. Again my fault. This isn’t my mothers parish. A neighbouring one.
Brother 2 was an identical situation, different sacrament. He asked what was expected of him and partner before christening. priest said 'As long as one of you is catholic, we’re good to go.

 

[Irishmom2]

My brother told mum that he’d booked the church for his wedding. He doesn’t practice his religion, and his fiance isn’t catholic.

My other brother who doesn’t practice came to the same church, for the first time, he booked a date for his sons baptism and nothing else took place until the day of christening.

vstead, all I can say is that in both of these cases, God’s grace may bring them back to the church at this time, or soon after. That may be what the priest hopes for, it often happens that fallen away Catholics “come home” after their wedding or their child’s baptism. I hope that is the case for your brothers.

 

[vstead]

vstead:
Your brothers are adults, the time for your mother to be concerned about their RE was when they were lads.
On the contrary. Your never relieved of that responsibility. - According to my mums parish priest. Ask 1ke said, neither you nor your mother know exactly what your brothers said to the priest. I know every single word of both conversations. I would never dream of gossiping about what may or may not be said between two people. Let me quote brother 1 (wedding) ‘We met priest today. I told him I haven’t practiced for some time and that fiance is not catholic. As mum said, I thought there would be at least another chat before the wedding if not just for Sarahs benefit.’ I hasten to add that my original post with aliases wasn’t so clear. For all she knows, he could have allowed these things as a compliment to your mother’s faith, even if your brothers show less than perfect understanding. Again my fault. This isn’t my mothers parish. A neighbouring one.
Brother 2 was an identical situation, different sacrament. He asked what was expected of him and partner before christening. priest said 'As long as one of you is catholic, we’re good to go.

Apologies for awful layout. Poor computer skills.

 

[vstead]

vstead, all I can say is that in both of these cases, God’s grace may bring them back to the church at this time, or soon after. That may be what the priest hopes for, it often happens that fallen away Catholics “come home” after their wedding or their child’s baptism. I hope that is the case for your brothers.

This is exactly my response to mum. (who is also irish I just wanted to know if others feel that mums point is a valid one. There was no preparation whatsoever. My feeling is that this priest has a different way of connecting. Both brothers felt an immediate bond with him and have since brought their families back to the church saying it was priest himself who drew them back. Although happy with this, mum still calls him a maverick… I cant compete with her knowledge on church matters though.

 

[vstead]

There may have been preparation you are not aware of, or the priest may have interviewed the couple and determined they did not need additional preparation.

No and no.

 

[vstead]

In charity, you must presume the priest is doing his duty under the law and as pastor.

Just after my holy communion, our priest disappeared with the housekeeper his replacement sexually abused a 16 year old boy. The ’ maverick’ joined the neighbouring parish because the priest who has presided over many family occasions has just been jailed for 5 years for assisting his boyfriend in the rape of a 14 year old boy.
I agree with ‘irishmom 2’ but I get why mum feels that you cant only rely on priests to protect the church and its teachings.

 

[Irishmom2]

Both brothers felt an immediate bond with him and have since brought their families back to the church saying it was priest himself who drew them back. Although happy with this, mum still calls him a maverick.

There you go then! God worked in your brother’s lives.

I do understand what your (Irish ) mom is feeling. It would seem there would be some rules in place so that people know what is expected (such as all marriages must be made x months before and marriage prep classes must be fulfilled, etc.) So on that, I see your mom’s point. But I don’t think it is anything that anyone can do anything about.

 

[vstead]

There you go then! God worked in your brother’s lives.

I do understand what your (Irish ) mom is feeling. It would seem there would be some rules in place so that people know what is expected (such as all marriages must be made x months before and marriage prep classes must be fulfilled, etc.) So on that, I see your mom’s point. But I don’t think it is anything that anyone can do anything about.

Thanks irishmom2. Yes mum was schooled in 1940s/50s Dublin. And she makes a good case. Thanks again.

 

[vstead]

1ke;10322992:

In charity, you must presume the priest is doing his duty under the law and as pastor.

Just after my holy communion, our priest disappeared with the housekeeper his replacement sexually abused a 16 year old boy. The ’ maverick’ joined the neighbouring parish because the priest who has presided over many family occasions has just been jailed for 5 years for assisting his boyfriend in the rape of a 14 year old boy.
I agree with ‘irishmom 2’ but I get why mum feels that you cant only rely on priests to protect the church and its teachings.

My point here was that as she has sadly seen so many fallen priests, its not beyond the realms of her imagination to worry that a priest might be guilty of missing out important classes like these.

 

[vstead]

Was it their first child?
Yes. First child. Thanks for reply.

 

[Ruthcloud]

I can relate to the original posters first post. We have met with the preist about three times and no classes or anythinhg like that. I would not call him a maverick, we live in a very rural area and it is tight knit church, I guess things are done a little different than in the city.