P
patrickveech
Guest
…But I’ve got a seriously weighing situation on my hands. I figured a while ago that it would just fade away, but it’s not. I’ve been plagued by thoughts of a girl that I’ve known since I was six years old.
Let me first establish this: This is driving me insane. I can’t stand it. There seems to be nothing that I can do about it mentally/spiritually, so I feel the only way to quell my anguish is to physically fix this problem.
Her name is Sarah. I was decent friends with her until 8th grade. I attended a Catholic grade school, so I’d seen her every day for nine years. Anyway, I really begun to get a serious crush on her midway through eighth grade. I had asked her to go out with me twice, now mind you, I’m a very different man today than I was previously. I’m much more mature, graced with wisdom. I wouldn’t do that today. So, she turned me down twice. Ok, I said, I’ll move on. After a couple of months, or weeks, my memory isn’t too great, I noticed that she never ate much for lunch, and naturally, I became concerned about it. I didn’t confront her about it, but my mother called up her mother and explained it. Oddly enough, her mother said that this was already under her radar.
I remember talking with her during recess one day, and she was angry at me for calling her mom, and I was pretty hurt. I was a frequently bullied kid, not too well-liked, I admit, but it was justified. I look back and think; who’d want to hang out with me? Nobody. That’s what forced my change, which is another story
Sarah has stuck in my heart for three years now (!) I can’t do anything about her there. It’s not a lust at all. I’ve never once imagined lust, which is really amazing considering my mind. She talks to me infrequently, which really hurts me. She did say something to my best friend this year though, which stunned me. She said that I was really, really, good kid, ‘with that far-off stare she has sometimes’ he reported. How do I interpret this? She never seems to give me the time of day, or anything. It’s PLAGUED me, my soul, my heart, my mind, my reverence for everything has been dragged through this, and I feel so powerless to say anything about it. If I do, I feel that I’ve given a serious impression that I’m obsessed with her, and people will further distance themselves from me.
What I’ve come for are answers to this. I simply cannot bear to live like this any more. This grey area of my life is choking me to death, I feel that it’s stunting my mental and spiritual growth, and it’s seriously depressing me. I want to resolve this so bad, but I can’t bring myself to. I feel if I try to let go, I will have a mental breakdown, and I can’t endure this.
I like Sarah for the right reasons, please note that. She’s a very kind, conservative, hard-working, friendly, spiritually-mature girl, a spectacular gift from God, which makes me feel like overwhelmed me, and forced me into the shadows of myself, my true potential as a human being.
I want to live happily.
Let me first establish this: This is driving me insane. I can’t stand it. There seems to be nothing that I can do about it mentally/spiritually, so I feel the only way to quell my anguish is to physically fix this problem.
Her name is Sarah. I was decent friends with her until 8th grade. I attended a Catholic grade school, so I’d seen her every day for nine years. Anyway, I really begun to get a serious crush on her midway through eighth grade. I had asked her to go out with me twice, now mind you, I’m a very different man today than I was previously. I’m much more mature, graced with wisdom. I wouldn’t do that today. So, she turned me down twice. Ok, I said, I’ll move on. After a couple of months, or weeks, my memory isn’t too great, I noticed that she never ate much for lunch, and naturally, I became concerned about it. I didn’t confront her about it, but my mother called up her mother and explained it. Oddly enough, her mother said that this was already under her radar.
I remember talking with her during recess one day, and she was angry at me for calling her mom, and I was pretty hurt. I was a frequently bullied kid, not too well-liked, I admit, but it was justified. I look back and think; who’d want to hang out with me? Nobody. That’s what forced my change, which is another story
Sarah has stuck in my heart for three years now (!) I can’t do anything about her there. It’s not a lust at all. I’ve never once imagined lust, which is really amazing considering my mind. She talks to me infrequently, which really hurts me. She did say something to my best friend this year though, which stunned me. She said that I was really, really, good kid, ‘with that far-off stare she has sometimes’ he reported. How do I interpret this? She never seems to give me the time of day, or anything. It’s PLAGUED me, my soul, my heart, my mind, my reverence for everything has been dragged through this, and I feel so powerless to say anything about it. If I do, I feel that I’ve given a serious impression that I’m obsessed with her, and people will further distance themselves from me.
What I’ve come for are answers to this. I simply cannot bear to live like this any more. This grey area of my life is choking me to death, I feel that it’s stunting my mental and spiritual growth, and it’s seriously depressing me. I want to resolve this so bad, but I can’t bring myself to. I feel if I try to let go, I will have a mental breakdown, and I can’t endure this.
I like Sarah for the right reasons, please note that. She’s a very kind, conservative, hard-working, friendly, spiritually-mature girl, a spectacular gift from God, which makes me feel like overwhelmed me, and forced me into the shadows of myself, my true potential as a human being.
I want to live happily.