May I marry outside the Catholic Church?

[jman84wsc]

i am in quite a predicament. i was raised as a catholic by my parents. i am getting married to a Methodist. i do not agree with some of the views of the catholic church a long with my fiance. so we have decided to have our wedding ceremony in a Lutheran church. my parents see everything about this situation wrong. should they not be happy that i am getting married in a christian church? i guess what i am getting to is is this situation wrong and sinful in anyway? my parents like to think i will be sinning by doing this. i believe in god and thought that by me getting married in a christian church would be just fine. i feel like my parents are what people have come to stereotype catholics as, a hypocrite. they preach to me all the time of how i should live my life. i feel like they should not be judging. i mean my mom drinks a few glasses of wine a night and i know that is not allowed. they both have gone to casinos and gambled. just so many subjects to touch on here cuz i am unsure of how to handle this situation.

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Hi,

The biggest problem here is that you don’t know enough about your Catholic faith. If this is due to your parents’ negligence, then I might agree with your criticism of them. But drinking wine in moderation and gambling in moderation are not sins as some puritan-thinking Protestants teach.

Practicing Catholics do not hold their Church up for criticism. It ALONE was founded by Jesus Christ and has been guarded against teaching error in matters of faith and morals for over two thousand years. To be a Catholic is to believe this. Unlike most Protestant churches, the Catholic Church teaches that marriage is so sacred that it is a sacrament. It gives sanctifying grace to the couple throughout there life together. Sanctifying grace raises us to a level far above the human and gives access to God in a very exalted way. So the Catholic Church takes great care about how this sacrament is entered into.

It requires a period of instruction leading to a wedding that is celebrated under its guidance. As with all worthwhile endeavors, something is required of its participants. No organization on earth takes marriage as seriously as does the Catholic Church. The man and woman enter into a bond with Christ that no human may break. “What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” (Mk 10:2-16) Most Protestant churches go limp over this one.

Your parents are absolutely correct on this. For a Catholic to marry outside of the Catholic Church is a sin and the Church does not consider such a marriage to be valid. Further, since the marriage is not considered to be valid, marital relations are considered to be gravely sinful.

I strongly urge you to read “Good News About Sex and Marriage” by Christopher West. It is a concise and very positive book on how the Catholic Church sees Christian marriage. You may obtain it through shop.catholic.com. You are in my prayers.

Fr. Vincent Serpa. O.P.