May I receive the Holy Eucharist?

[Hedschie]

I love my Church, I love my faith and pray a few hours a day and go to Mass frequently. Unfortunately, I have discovered that my husband had sex with our maid for the last 3 years and abused me for more than 36 years. I tried to forgive him all these years and prayed for his repentance. Now I have come to end of my rope and I cannot forgive him. I cannot even look at him without trying to slap him. I went to confession but now I realized I really cannot receive the holy Eucharist without my repentance of hating my husband so much. How can I go on… when I need the spritual food the most …I cannot receive it. Please advise what I can do.

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Dear friend,

The is a real difference between willing to hate and having feelings of hate. We are responsible for how we freely choose to act. But we are not responsible for the feelings that we involuntarily have.

It is understandable that you have strong negative feelings toward your husband right now. But you are not your feelings. Just pray for him that he will repent and ask God’s forgiveness for his past behavior. That those hateful feelings persist about him should not prevent you from receiving the Lord in Holy Communion. You are in our prayers.

Fr. VIncent Serpa, O.P.