My wife seems never happy, though she acts happy in front of other people. Maybe a happy marriage is not meant. Equally notable is that its possible I am not meant to have close friends. But Jesus is risen, so praise God.
HAPPY EASTER! Jesus Christ is risen today.
Why is your wife unhappy? Does she give you any specific reasons?
Now, that could be complex. Well, could be she suffers from depression. Now, if it’s depression, it can even be hereditary or can accompany a whole bunch of things, both physical and mental/emotional.
For instance, I had hypothyroidism for years before I even figured it out. Menopause can cause depression. Lack of light during winter can cause it, called, “Seasonal Affective Disorder”.
Depression seems to run in my family. I once had a family member who was institutionalized with something. We don’t know what since it was a long time ago. One of my sisters had a nervous breakdown.
An aunt seemed unhappy and almost mean most of her life. At the end of her life, she talked to a doctor who said, “You’re depressed!”, gave her a medication. She said after that, she was a new person. Her only regret was not having found this medication years ago.
So, there are people who can keep trying to plaster a smile on their faces, but there’s something wrong. They have something wrong, often chemically, in their makeup.
Some people have suffered trauma, and even if everything is perfect in their lives, memories of the past prevent them from moving forward.
So, causes for unhappiness, and/or depression, are quite numerous.
Present circumstances can cause it.
Sadness is one thing. It comes with some event and then goes. Depression is different. It’s chronic, can go on months or years, sounds a little like what you’ve described.
Some have said that sadness is sort of like the emotional equivalent of a cold, and depression is like the equivalent of cancer.
How is you relationship? If it’s the relationship, would she consider marital counseling?
If it’s not the relationship, would she consider individual counseling?
Often, it’s easy to try to “sweep these matters under the rug” and ignore them, but depression is as important to get tended to as a broken leg. One mental health place had a motto, “There is no health without mental health”.
As to friendship, I have that same problem, but I have a disability. I believe that’s at least partly why.
Friendship is also a bit complex. Well, people who are introverted or shy sometimes have more difficulty making friends. Also, it’s helpful to have something in common.
Sometimes, people are so busy with their work schedules that it doesn’t allow much time to socialize.
It’s easier to meet people in a context, like college, say. Often now, there are fewer contexts to meet people in, making the process more difficult. I find people today too busy. Even if one invites people, they are just out straight busy, don’t have time or aren’t interested.
What I’d recommend to try to find people like yourself is to try going to some church events or activities, since your faith seems important to you. The other thing would be to try volunteering, even if it’s only once a week. I’ve met a lot of nice people in my volunteer work, both in the US and Mexico. Well, volunteering often attracts a different kind of person, one who is generous enough to give of his/her time.
I work with a blind organization, and we work with people with not only blindness but mental and physical handicaps. Some have multiple disabilities. The volunteers who stay on tend to be really nice people, patient, kind, generous, understanding. They seem to be more the kind who will actually practice what they preach. We often get people who are strong in their faith, as well.
Please don’t give up on your wife’s happiness or yours.
Happy Easter to you and yours!
