Maybe my mother is right!

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Paris_Blues

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I’m in deep yogurt

Okay, so I went to Confession this past Tuesday the 20th and it was the last chance for Confession before Christmas, which in my own personal opinion is not good. I confessed whatever I needed to and after that, prayed that I would not sin from that time to past Christmas so I could recieve our Lord the 24th and 25th.

Well, I blew it! I think I committed a mortal sin yesterday when going to my mom’s house and am so angry at myself for doing it. Not that I wanted to do it but I didn’t think and did it anyway and now I’m furious at myself for letting me have a very Merry Christmas images.bravenet.com/common/images/smilies/sarcastic.gif (sarcastic).

I got to my mom’s yesterday and told her about it and told her I was so mad because there were NO MORE Confessions going on and she told me well, I can’t help it I’m not in charge of the Church’s rules, etc. and we got into a stupid argument which added on to the sin, how lovely. She told me maybe I picked the wrong religion or something because she knows how I don’t know this or that, etc.

I am so angry that I don’t know how to really deal with it. I can’t go to Confession because there’s no more which I think that’s a big bummer right there. Wouldn’t you think there would be some Confessions just in case there’s at-the-last-minute sinners who need to make a good Confession? What kind of mercy is that? I’m sure THAT makes the devil laugh even harder which really makes me want to kick his rear end into Hell or at least have St. Michael the Archangel do so!

I’m very hurt inside because now I can’t recieve the Eucharist (heck, I would if they had a last minute Confession but they don’t) tonight or tomorrow and now I’m not planning to go to Mass tonight and I was tempted to not go tomorrow but that would add another mortal sin because oh, it’s a Holy Day of Obligation and I was looking forward to this and now I’m more ticked off then ever.

I asked our Lord if what I did was a venial or mortal sin because honestly, I really don’t know. Well, I do but I don’t, make sense? I know the three conditions have to be met for it to be a mortal sin and I THINK I did meet them but I’m not sure what I really intended. I think our Lord loves having me be in confusion which causes me to “back away”. I told our Lord with a hot temper and anger (which again, adds on to the mortal sin, how lovely again) that I can’t deal with this and You’re no help so why should I even care? Boy, I was mad and I didn’t care if I was going to Hell or not! I’m so selfish!

I hate to say this again but I’m this close to want to leave the Church because dang it, I just can’t deal with this any longer

Now, my Christmas is not joyful (never was and probably never will be) and I’m not looking forward to it.

Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

P.S. Besides, I still am so lukewarm. Didn’t our Lord say he hates lukewarmers and will “spite them out”?
 
Paris…don’t fret…I know how much you want to receive the Eucharist during Christmas…I want to also, however I am also in a state of mortal sin and there is no confession times I can make it to prior to Mass…so I will have to stay seated. It really isn’t the end of the world…a lot of the Saints would not receive on Sundays, even though they weren’t in a state of mortal sin. I tell you what…we will have to abstain together…I am planning on making it to reconciliation Tuesday though. God Bless…Merry Christmas
 
I just don’t understand why you’re getting so worked up about this. If you committed a mortal sin, with full knowledge and intention, then simply don’t receive communion until you can go to confession. What’s wrong with that? Why is that so awful? You’re going to be pouty and angry on our Lord’s birthday because YOU didn’t get what YOU want?? It’s HIS birthday celebration, not yours, so stop the navel-gazing and think of Him.

As for being angry about there not having confessions: give the parish priest the benefit of the doubt. I substitute for the parish secretary at our church from time to time when she needs a vacation or is sick, and I can tell you it’s been a real eye-opener. You have no idea how much goes on in your basic parish, and how hard-working a good priest is, day and night. Doesn’t he deserve a few days off? And did you call him personally to ask if he could give you a private confession? Did you talk to him about this, or did you just decide to publically vent your anger at the Church first?

Why are you so emotional about all of this?
 
Paris:

If I may make a suggestion. Find a Spiritual Director to help you through this. From this and other posts, it sounds like you may be suffering from scrupulosity. This can drive a person insane by making them think they are constantly in the state of mortal sin. Talk to your priest, he may be able to suggest where to get a Spiritual Director.

PF
 
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WanderAimlessly:
Paris:

If I may make a suggestion. Find a Spiritual Director to help you through this. From this and other posts, it sounds like you may be suffering from scrupulosity. This can drive a person insane by making them think they are constantly in the state of mortal sin. Talk to your priest, he may be able to suggest where to get a Spiritual Director.

PF
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I think next time I go to Confession (which is a week from today) I’ll ask him because yes, I too am sick and tired of suffering from this patheticness of mine and I even tell myself what you guys are telling me! But I still don’t know. It’s the unknown that gets me so weary.
 
Yes, I myself have no clue why I’m getting so worked up about it as well! I don’t wish it on anyone.

Well, I guess it’s okay to not recieve the Eucharist one time at least…I’m used to it before getting confirmed so why not let myself run through it one more time? Besides, I went to Daily Mass this past Wednesday so I guess that could make up for Sunday, eh?

I DON’T want to be like this on our Lord’s birthday but since I had my thoughts on my first post, that tells you how MUCH love I have for Him, huh? Some nutcase I am.images.bravenet.com/common/images/smilies/knockedout.gif

Now I’m really convinced that the devil was angry at me for going to Confession Tuesday and now is even more furious and angry and is trying to do ANYTHING he can to get me into mortal sin and now look, it looks like the freak won

Well, yes, the priest does deserve a day off so let him have a day off. Let him celebrate Christmas with peace instead of hearing Confessions. Sure, I’ll give him a break. Besides, I deserve this because I got myself into it, how pathetic.images.bravenet.com/common/images/smilies/thumbsdown2.gif

Whoa, I don’t think I said I went publically venting my anger at the Church did I? I think I said I only told my mother about it. You call that public?

Why am I so emotional about this? I don’t know. I wonder myself why too. Maybe I am two humans beings in oneimages.bravenet.com/common/images/smilies/highfive.gif I don’t know?!
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Sherlock:
I just don’t understand why you’re getting so worked up about this. If you committed a mortal sin, with full knowledge and intention, then simply don’t receive communion until you can go to confession. What’s wrong with that? Why is that so awful? You’re going to be pouty and angry on our Lord’s birthday because YOU didn’t get what YOU want?? It’s HIS birthday celebration, not yours, so stop the navel-gazing and think of Him.

As for being angry about there not having confessions: give the parish priest the benefit of the doubt. I substitute for the parish secretary at our church from time to time when she needs a vacation or is sick, and I can tell you it’s been a real eye-opener. You have no idea how much goes on in your basic parish, and how hard-working a good priest is, day and night. Doesn’t he deserve a few days off? And did you call him personally to ask if he could give you a private confession? Did you talk to him about this, or did you just decide to publically vent your anger at the Church first?

Why are you so emotional about all of this?
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Paris,
First of all, you cannot commit a mortal sin without full knowledge and consent. If you THINK you committed a mortal sin, but are not sure, then you didn’t. Second, you may ask for Confession at any time. As long as the priest has the time to hear you, he can’t refuse. Maybe after one of the Christmas Masses, you can approach and ask. Then go to the next Mass and receive. I agree with the poster who suggested a spiritual director. You may be developing scrupulosity which is not a good thing. Get it now, while it’s still developing.

Peace,
Linda

Merry Christmas to all.
 
  1. Are you dead sure that it was a mortal sin?
  2. Don’t you know that you (or most any of us) can call the church and ask for an appointment for confession?
  3. I agree with WanderAimlessly that you need a spiritual director to counsel you on this matter so that you stop acting like you are some kind of axe murdering madperson or something, which you plainly are not.
  4. Have some egg nog and RELAX!
 
Church Militant:
  1. Are you dead sure that it was a mortal sin?
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Actually, that’s what I want to ask as well. Is it such that there is dire need for Confession? If not, then there’s no need to worry about it.
  1. Have some egg nog and RELAX!
Probably the best advice of all. 👍 Just relax, Paris. I’ve been Catholic my whole life, and hey, I do mess up every now and then. I’m not worried; I know God is merciful, and He doesn’t keep track of our mistakes for as long as we are sincere in being repentant. In short, just relax, and don’t forget to have fun this Christmas.
 
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Singinbeauty:
First of all, I don’t even think I know of the scriptual context used to identify this sacrament so if you can provide it that would help so much in my quest for understanding. I guess that would be step number one.
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John 20:23 would be the best place to start on this one.
Next, I do wonder if you do not have a priest to confess to why can you not go to a trusted brother or sister in Christ or even straight to God Himself for absolution?
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Depends on the situation, depends on the gravity. if it’s mortal sin, then it’s an absolute necessity to go to Confession. Going to another person other than a priest? There are two things that are problematic here: one, is that person under vow to have the seal of privacy? Priests are under vow never to divulge the sins confessed to others. Second, does that person have the authority to forgive and retain sins? Reread John 20:23 on that one.
 
From the Code of Canon Law:Canon 916. Anyone who is conscious of grave sin may not celebrate Mass or receive the Body of the Lord without previously having been to sacramental confession, unless there is a grave reason and there is no opportunity to confess; in this case the person is to remember the obligation to make an act of perfect contrition, which includes the resolve to go to confession as soon as possible.

Maybe this being your first Christmas is grave enough reason. ???

Just in case, here’s an Act of Contrition:
I am heartily sorry for
having offended Thee,
and I detest all my sins,
because I dread the loss of heaven,
and the pains of hell;
but most of all because
they offend Thee, my God,
Who are all good and
deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve,
with the help of Thy grace,
to confess my sins,
to do penance,
and to amend my life.
Amen.
 
Scrupulosaity. I have been there and done that. It is crazy making. Almost every human action takes on the potential of being a serious sin, and then one starts to worry, did I know? Did I give full consent? Round and round in a downward spiral and Satin loves it. Dispair is his favorite place to bring someone. It eventually gets so bad that one may even contemplate suicide. To be scrupulous is not God’s plan for us ;it is Satins. A wise regular confessor and councilor is absolutely needed for this situation. Someone one can see on a regular basis once you find him. Revolving confessors is a deep mistake as none of them will be able to get a good fix on your spiritual state. Satin also makes good use of a deep fear of sin to keep one thinking about ones sins instead of focusing on the mercy and love of Jesus. With sin constantly on ones mind it gets easy for satin to lead one into the next sin. Please Paris seek that help soon as you do not want to go to where I once was.
 
You can receive the Eucharist without having gone to confession if confession was an impossibility and you are fully intent on confessing the sin as soon as the opportunity arises.Sounds like that applies to your situation.

Peace and Merry Christmas,
Michael
 
I Just Gotta Say This… Giver Hell!!! (haha)… Go ahead, yell at God all you want, tell hiim every little thing that bothers you, hurts, whatever, scream and shout, make a fit, its not a sin to tell God how you feel. lots of people would rather be silent and not say anything, but to be honest, God would rather hear your temper tantrum than not hear anything… sometimes when you yell at him enough he’ll let you have what you want… just be nice, no swearing at the big guy… then your getting in trouble…

Merry Christmas
 
Let me understand this…
Paris Blues:
I think I committed a mortal sin yesterday when going to my mom’s house
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and
Not that I wanted to do it but I didn’t think and did it anyway
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Right off the bat, I was wondering how you could commit a mortal sin if you weren’t sure you committed one, and then you state that you did something, but didn’t want to.

This sounds more like a venial matter, and something to talk about next time in confession. If you aren’t sure it is a mortal sin, then it does not meet the criteria. It must involve grave matter, you need to be cognizant that what you are about to do is sinful, and then you must freely choose to disobey God.

For example, if you were to get impatient with someone, or use a curse word for example that happen to fly out without any thought, it is different from thinking ahead that you shouldn’t say it, then saying it.
 
You need help BIG TIME!!

First your are suffering from scrupulosity. There is no doubt in my mind after reading countless posts by you that you also suffer from some emotional problems. Your scrupulous posts on this board are now (as indicated above) confusing protestants who visit this site. When they read your posts they get very misled on the topic of confession and what it is. In fact Paris you should refrain from posting on this board until you get some help. I am thoroughly convinced that you DID NOT commit a mortal sin yesterday. If what you did or said to your mother was a grave matter. You still probably didn’t commit mortal a sin. If it was in fact a grave matter AND premeditated you would have still had to Deliberately commit the sin. You need the 3 conditions to commit a sin…and scrupulous people usually don’t deliberately commit grave sins. You are also wrong about missing a Holy day of obligation if you in fact attended a vigil Mass. Furthurmore you need a spiritual director and professional counciling. Your posts to this forum border on attention seeking and juvinile. Puleeeeze get some help. 👍
 
Paris, if you keep committing Mortal Sin, where you DELIBERATELY sin, and you KNOW you are sinning, and it is a GRAVE sin, then the only thing you should be questioning is your personal relationship with the Jesus. The reason I say this, is because apparantly our loving Lord Jesus Christ is not enough to stop you from meeting all 3 conditions for a Mortal Sin (which as some have suggested, you could not be comitting if you are not aware its mortal).

Also, if you leave the faith, what are your choices. You freak out because you won’t recieve the Eucharist unless you have confession, yet at the same time, you are willing to never recieve Jesus Christ in the Eucharist again…what sense does any of that make?
 
One thing you could have tried is going up to the priest 20 mins before mass started (while he was getting ready) and asking for a quick confession. It doesn’t have to be at a standard time. Even better, you could have rung the priest and arranged to have confession at a convenient time sometime before Christmas. I’m sure any priest would have a 5 minute break in their schedule.

Another thing. The Eucharist is not meant to be something that makes us feel worse. You always seem to feel terrible when you can’t recieve it or can’t go to adoration or something like that (even though you lived without it for 20 years). It is good to be able to have the Eucharist but it shouldn’t make you feel terrible just because you can’t have it - you’re only really required to have the Eucharist on Easter and when in danger of death. It’s not like you would starve if you had to go a week without it. Not to devalue the Eucharist in any way, but I’m just saying. You need to be more optimistic - say, “at least I can go to mass on Christmas Day even if I can’t recieve the Eucharist.” Say, “Christmas is still a time for rejoicing anyway.”

The Eucharist is not really something you have a ‘right’ to - God allowed us to have it because He is kind. Be pleased and thankful when you are able and allowed to recieve it, not angry and bitter when you are not allowed to have it. You’ve only been a Catholic for a bit over a month and you’re already spoilt! (When you are mad that you’re not allowed to have something, it’s like you think you’ve got a right to have it, or else you are taking it for granted. Don’t think either of these things about the Eucharist).

To answer the thread title - if your mother thinks that you are in the wrong religion then no, she is not right. Knowing that you’re in the right religion should be one of the basics for any Catholic.

I don’t agree with the egg nog suggestion - but that’s just because I am allergic to eggs. But you definitely need to relax, before you receive the ‘most scrupulous person on CAF for 2005’ award.

Seriously - you can’t change the past so stop worrying so much, just go to Confession when you next can (if you really did commit a mortal sin that is) and then forget it. And next time you can receive the Eucharist be sure to be thankful, rather than taking it for granted.
 
Why get so worked up, you sat out of the Eucharist before you were Catholic for quite a bit. Many people sit out in Mass all the time, for their own reasons, we don’t judge them. We all are human and sin.

You will sin and probably do it again, so just keep trying not to. Living a life of sanctity takes work and doesn’t just happen overnight, it can take years of leaving sin behind and falling back into it.

I don’t want to beat you over the head, with this but it really sounds like scrupulosity is getting a hold of you. I really suggest you read up on scrupulosity.
catholic.com/thisrock/2000/0012fea2.asp

God loves you and there is plenty of forgiveness, enough for you.

Let me tell you about my Christmas, I finally have a Nativity set, we went to Mass, and my brother in law didn’t recieve communion. We all had a great time at the Christmas party and we all stayed up until about 1:30am.

Unfortunately my sister in law doesn’t celebrate Christmas since it was “man made” by the Catholic Church. I hope to go spend some time with her this spring and try and share the beauty of our faith.

God Bless Paris and try and embrace the beauty of your faith and not be so worried about your own failings. God loves you and knows you are trying.

Scylla
 
Paris,

I’ve told you many times that you must seek help for your scrupulosity, asap! It can be extremely dangerous to your spiritual and emotional life. Please find a spriritual adviser immediately.

Peace,
Mickey
 
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