L
lynnehelen
Guest
Please pray for me as I am in a great state of mental confusion. For several years now I have been straining to follow a voice in my thoughts that I believed to be the Lord. I have heard it said by one Priest or minister on the radio to a person in a similar situation that such a voice could be the devil and just now, I knew it was. I am told (by my own thoughts) that if you ask a voice in your thoughts who he or she is he or she will identify himself (or herself) and he, Satan, did.
A “friend” (not one, I don’t think) told me in my thoughts to stop taking the medication last week and I did so, unsure of the source. for 2 days, then guided me to take it again. this “friend” is a real person whom I have recently posted about whose words do frequently come to mind over the years, and did so vividly during the divorce and then he called, saying he didn’t know about the divorce, although I had informed somehow through whom it would well have gotten back to him.
I have posted about my meeting with him and the subsequent problems, which I am still dealing with, involving my upstairs neighbors and dangers in the night (the police were here at 2:00 a.m.)
Then when I took the medication I was in confusion and it’s a long story but I had to not take it again the following night because of nausea, and the following day my “God voice”–I was sure it was the Lord–told me to stop taking the meds, that I was off them now, and that he would give me an angel to guide me. I prayed to St. Joseph, as I was in fear, who gave me a different course, permitting me to resume the medications, which I now mistrust, as I always did, as I have been told again and again by experts that they make me worse but run of the mill doctors always put you on them so I have been on them most of the time for 30 years. I’m talking about anti-psychotic meds. I am so accustomed to them that I don’t konw what it would take to get off them but they do make my condition (spasms and brain damage/possible partial seizures) quite painful and confuse my thoughts as well as giving me mental and physical pain, painful sleep, and taking away the simple sweetness of physical life.
I can’t sleep at night and sleep during the day and can’t break the cycle.
My (very personal) condition makes it difficult to be around people and I have situational problems in addition to the ones I just described, and can’t think straight or make decisions or handle any of it because of this MENTAL CONFUSION.
I have been through this once before (2003) and it brought on disaster from which I am still recovering. (The meds telling me to stop taking the meds: I did, and i wound up going 3 weeks without sleep. I have been compliant ever since.) Whenever you stop them you dont want to take them again because you realize how bad they make you feel but if you don’t have safety and a doctor’s help you can’t stop them.
I have prayed to St. Jude for help with my life situation, especially as regards my son, and especially the present crisis. I was up all night. I feel clear now, but will probably have to sleep again during the day. I have no help. My parents are against me, I am trying to be a help TO my son instead of leaning on him, and my ex won’t talk to me. I have a PCP, a new psychiatrist, and my Project Rachel counselor, but they are all new to me.
I don’t want to be back in PA, I was in the state hospital here and have been living on the edge of terror.
My now aging parents always say my problems aren’t real and are doing so now. they have been doing this to me ever since I was a little girl, when my brother kneed me in the crotch damaging a nerve and I begain talking to myself and reading all the time. It’s their way of making the problem go away
A “friend” (not one, I don’t think) told me in my thoughts to stop taking the medication last week and I did so, unsure of the source. for 2 days, then guided me to take it again. this “friend” is a real person whom I have recently posted about whose words do frequently come to mind over the years, and did so vividly during the divorce and then he called, saying he didn’t know about the divorce, although I had informed somehow through whom it would well have gotten back to him.
I have posted about my meeting with him and the subsequent problems, which I am still dealing with, involving my upstairs neighbors and dangers in the night (the police were here at 2:00 a.m.)
Then when I took the medication I was in confusion and it’s a long story but I had to not take it again the following night because of nausea, and the following day my “God voice”–I was sure it was the Lord–told me to stop taking the meds, that I was off them now, and that he would give me an angel to guide me. I prayed to St. Joseph, as I was in fear, who gave me a different course, permitting me to resume the medications, which I now mistrust, as I always did, as I have been told again and again by experts that they make me worse but run of the mill doctors always put you on them so I have been on them most of the time for 30 years. I’m talking about anti-psychotic meds. I am so accustomed to them that I don’t konw what it would take to get off them but they do make my condition (spasms and brain damage/possible partial seizures) quite painful and confuse my thoughts as well as giving me mental and physical pain, painful sleep, and taking away the simple sweetness of physical life.
I can’t sleep at night and sleep during the day and can’t break the cycle.
My (very personal) condition makes it difficult to be around people and I have situational problems in addition to the ones I just described, and can’t think straight or make decisions or handle any of it because of this MENTAL CONFUSION.
I have been through this once before (2003) and it brought on disaster from which I am still recovering. (The meds telling me to stop taking the meds: I did, and i wound up going 3 weeks without sleep. I have been compliant ever since.) Whenever you stop them you dont want to take them again because you realize how bad they make you feel but if you don’t have safety and a doctor’s help you can’t stop them.
I have prayed to St. Jude for help with my life situation, especially as regards my son, and especially the present crisis. I was up all night. I feel clear now, but will probably have to sleep again during the day. I have no help. My parents are against me, I am trying to be a help TO my son instead of leaning on him, and my ex won’t talk to me. I have a PCP, a new psychiatrist, and my Project Rachel counselor, but they are all new to me.
I don’t want to be back in PA, I was in the state hospital here and have been living on the edge of terror.
My now aging parents always say my problems aren’t real and are doing so now. they have been doing this to me ever since I was a little girl, when my brother kneed me in the crotch damaging a nerve and I begain talking to myself and reading all the time. It’s their way of making the problem go away