Meat-less Fridays

[Apryl]

I understand that the church no longer obliges us to abstain from Fish on every Friday of the year…

but what I don’t get is that I go to CATHOLIC functions, in CATHOLIC locations, and I can’t find Fish.

I happen to abstain all year around. I don’t ever feel comfortable eating meat on a Friday (what will I do when Christmas is on a Friday??? I can’t remember the last time, but I’m sure the last time, I abstained… next time, I may not), but I go to functions at a Catholic church, hosted by a Catholic group, and my choices are usually chicken, pork, beef… but no fish.

When I mention this, I’m told, ‘oh, but you can have meat on Friday!’

… yes, but does that mean that I MUST have meat on Friday?

I don’t spend my time reminding the folx I am talking to that if they choose to eat meat, they should be doing something else for penance, because I am trying to make a meal!

My father and I are often the ones who have to leave to eat.

What should I do?

How can I talk it up without lecturing, or being Uber-Catholic?

 

[Tradycja]

Yeah that is pretty lame. It’s a shame the Bishops changed the rules.

You might suggest that these functions carry vegetarian food (that’s more politically correct then bringing up the Friday abstinence issue, LOL).

I would just try to do your best and focus on more essential issues such as Dogma. The nature of humans is that if the rule says you may eat meat that is all people need to hear and they will go with that. It is very easy to relax rules, but to make them more strict, or to get someone to do something that is not strictly required takes a lot. It’s hard to get the genie back into the bottle.

 

[Jacafamala]

Either get involved with the cooking and meal planning at these events or else just eat the side dishes. I personally wouldn’t bring the subject up to the rest of the group unless willing to take on the responsibility of helping to fix things.

 

[Tedster]

I happen to abstain all year around. I don’t ever feel comfortable eating meat on a Friday (what will I do when Christmas is on a Friday???

Since Christmas is a First Class Feast, all rules on fasting and abstinence are relaxed. You may eat what you wish!

When I mention this, I’m told, ‘oh, but you can have meat on Friday!’

… yes, but does that mean that I MUST have meat on Friday?

Tell the you CHOOSE to abstain for your penance. As you know, the Church says that abstinence is no longer required on Fridays, but you must perform an act of penance in lieu of that. So if you choose, as my family does, do abstain from meat on Fridays, that is commendable, but not required per say. You could also do some other form of penance when abstaining from meat is difficult.

I don’t spend my time reminding the folx I am talking to that if they choose to eat meat, they should be doing something else for penance, because I am trying to make a meal!

My father and I are often the ones who have to leave to eat.

What should I do?

How can I talk it up without lecturing, or being Uber-Catholic?

As I said before, you could do some other form of penance when abstaining from meat is difficult.

 

[peary1]

I understand that the church no longer obliges us to abstain from Fish on every Friday of the year…

But it DOES.

but what I don’t get is that I go to CATHOLIC functions, in CATHOLIC locations, and I can’t find Fish.

They SHOULD.

I happen to abstain all year around. I don’t ever feel comfortable eating meat on a Friday (what will I do when Christmas is on a Friday??? I can’t remember the last time, but I’m sure the last time, I abstained… next time, I may not), but I go to functions at a Catholic church, hosted by a Catholic group, and my choices are usually chicken, pork, beef… but no fish.

When I mention this, I’m told, ‘oh, but you can have meat on Friday!’

… yes, but does that mean that I MUST have meat on Friday?

I don’t spend my time reminding the folx I am talking to that if they choose to eat meat, they should be doing something else for penance, because I am trying to make a meal!

My father and I are often the ones who have to leave to eat.

What should I do?

How can I talk it up without lecturing, or being Uber-Catholic?

The Church never rescinded on having meatless Fridays. What the Church clarified was that a person MAY substitute a special penance on that day IN PLACE OF A MEATLESS FRIDAY. Otherwise, the meatless Friday requirement STILL EXISTS.

 

[brotherhrolf]

Having to do without meat on Fridays down here in south Louisiana has never been a sacrifice for us. I know. I grew up before Vatican II and went to Catholic schools from K-12. Fish sticks may have been a sacrifice but if you dump a lot of tartar sauce and ketchup…Even lettuce and tomato sandwiches on french bread is not a sacrifice. Nor is crawfish etouffe, shrimp creole, gumbo, etc.

From the time I was a little boy in the mid-50s, I heard it from the pulpit and I heard it from the good sisters and brothers that taught me…the principal idea is sacrifice and mortification of the flesh. Heck, I LIKE grilled cheese sandwiches. And, as my diocese points out each year when it publishes its Lenten recipes section in the newspaper, we would be better served to fast or to spend extra time in prayer or to engage in the corporal works of mercy or anything else to sacrifice.

I still maintain the meatless Friday regimen. I can go to any restaurant for lunch (and this goes for all of south Louisiana) and the lunch time specials will all be meatless. Lent always comes at the height of crawfish season. Such a hardship.

OK, I lived in Chicago for two years. Fish sticks for those of you who do not know what it is like to have fresh seafood available year round can be a sacrifice. Why not avoid meat and add an extra regimen to your fast?

What is so hard about substituting a Whaler for a Whopper? For me, I will follow what I learned oh so many years ago. Do more.

 

[thistle]

**I understand that the church no longer obliges us to abstain from Fish on every Friday of the year…

but what I don’t get is that I go to CATHOLIC functions, in CATHOLIC locations, and I can’t find Fish.**
I happen to abstain all year around. I don’t ever feel comfortable eating meat on a Friday (what will I do when Christmas is on a Friday??? I can’t remember the last time, but I’m sure the last time, I abstained… next time, I may not), but I go to functions at a Catholic church, hosted by a Catholic group, and my choices are usually chicken, pork, beef… but no fish.

When I mention this, I’m told, ‘oh, but you can have meat on Friday!’

… yes, but does that mean that I MUST have meat on Friday?

I don’t spend my time reminding the folx I am talking to that if they choose to eat meat, they should be doing something else for penance, because I am trying to make a meal!

My father and I are often the ones who have to leave to eat.

What should I do?

How can I talk it up without lecturing, or being Uber-Catholic?

I’m unsure if your post is a joke or not with all the faces.
However, Catholics have never been obliged to eat nor abstain from fish. Fish is not classified as meat.

 

[peary1]

I’ll say it again:

The Church has never rescinded MEATLESS Fridays. The Church clarified the matter by saying that if you as a person wish to perform some sort of penance *in place of *the Friday fast, then one can do so. If not, meatless Fridays are still the norm and practice of the Church.

The Church never specified that you HAD to eat fish on Friday! It said that one needs to practice FASTING, and that Fridays are to remain MEATLESS if one does not substitute a penance in its place.

 

[Jacafamala]

Yes to what others have said about abstaining from meat on Christmas. I should’ve included that in my original post.

 

[Apryl]

Either get involved with the cooking and meal planning at these events or else just eat the side dishes. I personally wouldn’t bring the subject up to the rest of the group unless willing to take on the responsibility of helping to fix things.

That makes sense… but I’ve offered to help to plan the meals.

The bad thing is, I get shot down

I’ve even been on part of a team to decide the meals six months in advance, but within days of the event, ‘something’ comes up and the meal gets changed.

I’ve even told some of the sub groups that I won’t be there since I’ve asked before would there be enough there for me to make a meal around the meat, I was told that there would be… and that was not the case (I can not make a meal from some lettuce and dressing… at least let me do a HEARTY salad). So, I no longer attend their Friday night events.

(The last time, it was a stunner: ‘Apryl won’t be there??? why not? She goes to everything else’)

 

[Apryl]

Yes to what others have said about abstaining from meat on Christmas. I should’ve included that in my original post.

Oh yeah…

But wait, I never said that Christmas was meatless… but I did say that I’m UNCOMFORTABLE eating meat on ANY Friday…

So, when that comes up again, it’s going to be a odd day for me.

Just like when I was allowed to say the word ‘Hell’ in front of my parents when I was about 10 years old… I knew I was allowed, but it still feeling very odd.

 

[bpbasilphx]

\But wait, I never said that Christmas was meatless… but I did say that I’m UNCOMFORTABLE eating meat on ANY Friday…\

**What you’re saying is you are uncomfortable with following the rule of the Church about when Christmas or a Solemnity falls on Friday.

The joy and significance of these Feasts should trump your scruples.**

 

[Apryl]

\But wait, I never said that Christmas was meatless… but I did say that I’m UNCOMFORTABLE eating meat on ANY Friday…\

**What you’re saying is you are uncomfortable with following the rule of the Church about when Christmas or a Solemnity falls on Friday.

The joy and significance of these Feasts should trump your scruples.**

What I’m saying is:

I do not eat meat on Fridays…

When Christmas is on a Friday, it’s going to be odd to me that on that day, I can eat meat and shouldn’t expect to feel guilty about it.

I’m also aware that on ANY Friday during the Christmas Octave that abstaining is not, and has not, been an expectation.

… so, I’m not saying that I’m uncomfortable with following a rule of the Church… how you got that is not something I’m trying to even understand.

 

[airforcemom]

I try to avoid meat on Fridays. This past Friday we went out to eat with our middle grandson who was going to spending the night with us and I ordered a salad with grilled shrimp – living in SE Louisiana is great for seafood and I love shrimp and fish – when the food got to the table mine was a grilled chicken salad – I had to push the chicken to the side. The few times before Katrina when the church would have something on a Friday we always tried to have other foods prepared for those who did not want to eat meat it was just a matter of the people telling us that they needed a non-meat meal so we would usually ordered a catfish dinner for those who did not want the meat. It was easy to do and it was appreciated.

 

[revert_jen]

but what I don’t get is that I go to CATHOLIC functions, in CATHOLIC locations, and I can’t find Fish.

I have a better one. I was on a flight to Portugal, on a Portuguese airline (TAP) on a Friday in Lent and there were no meatless choices. I should have special ordered, but I thought, “Portugal is a Catholic country, so there won’t be anything special about it.” Boy, was I hungry by the time I landed in Lisbon.

I also abstain from meat on Fridays outside Lent as well. Actually, in Lent I make myself eat fish on Fridays (as opposed to going vegetarian) because I really hate fish.

But you might, as a special offering to God, find some other penance to do on those Fridays where the is an important Church gathering that will be a meal that doesn’t allow for meatlessness. For example if someone invites me to dinner at their house on a Friday (doesn’t happen very often) I will do some other penance that day. It has the double benefit of being kinder to the person who has invited me to dinner and also ensuring that the important thing is the penitential aspect, rather than me just getting in the habit of no meat. (I have a bad tendency for things to become “just habit” so sometimes I have to mix it up a bit.)

The thing is, that it sounds like you’ve done most of the things that you could to change others. (I’d try asking for vegetarian instead of fish as Tradycja suggested, though, as a last shot before giving up.) All you can do now is look at it as an opportunity to make your sacrifice bigger. Depending on whether it would be awkward for others, you could fast that meal instead of abstaining. Or you could bring a protein bar or something with you and eat that. Or like I mentioned above, you could find some other penance to do that day.

Best of luck finding a workable solution!

–Jen

 

[Apryl]

But you might, as a special offering to God, find some other penance to do on those Fridays where the is an important Church gathering that will be a meal that doesn’t allow for meatlessness. For example if someone invites me to dinner at their house on a Friday (doesn’t happen very often) I will do some other penance that day. It has the double benefit of being kinder to the person who has invited me to dinner and also ensuring that the important thing is the penitential aspect, rather than me just getting in the habit of no meat. (I have a bad tendency for things to become “just habit” so sometimes I have to mix it up a bit.)

Several years ago, I was invited to a Black-Jewish Seder.

(A pretty interesting event which I would like to do again, btw)

It happened during a year when I had given up meat for Lent. All of Lent, not just the Fridays!

I am hypoglycemic, so I need to eat… and there was this meal with all of these people who probably didn’t have much to do with any ‘Lent’.

We had been there for more than an hour (maybe two, now that I think of it) when the dinner of a half chicken and some sides was served.

Typically, I would have eaten the side dishes and been done with it…but the portions for the side dishes was what I would call a ‘taste’.

I didn’t live far from where the event was held, and I even considered just going home to eat.

I asked a priest I knew who was there what I should do.

"The hospitality of the event overrides the Lenten abstinence. You want to abstain, but you are part of a meal, and you wouldn’t want to make your hosts uncomfortable’

That was some GOOOD Chicken! And I related what the priest said to the idea that wouldn’t go to someone’s wedding and pass out anti-abortion literature: there’s a time and a place for everything, and that was not a time to adhere to that abstention.

So, I do know that sometimes, I have to eat the meat… or should eat the meat… but why is it at MY church, it’s so hard to get others to understand that there SHOULD be a MEATLESS (not necessarily fish, but just meatless) option for those of us who don’t find other things to do for our penance?

Sheesh!

 

[Shin]

Just as an aside, here’s a good Catholic sermon on seders and why we should not go.

When your own church is working against you with the food it’s a toughie!

 

[Apryl]

Just as an aside, here’s a good Catholic sermon on seders and why we should not go.

When your own church is working against you with the food it’s a toughie!

It looks like I can’t hear it.

At least, not tonight

But I always thought that Jews, Catholics and Protestants all worshipped the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob… besides, Jesus was a Jew.

What makes this guy a ‘good Catholic’ sermon giver? – Just asking, since I’m not hearing the sermon.

 

[Hesychios]

What I’m saying is:

I do not eat meat on Fridays…

This sounds like a mind game.

Christmas is on a Friday for you, so Feast not Fast.

… so, I’m not saying that I’m uncomfortable with following a rule of the Church… how you got that is not something I’m trying to even understand.

Try pretending it’s Thursday, just for a little while

Just be glad you didn’t grow up Orthodox, you wouldn’t even have an option for fish and could have developed the habit of not eating fish as well as meat on Wednesdays as well as Fridays.

 

[Apryl]

This sounds like a mind game.

Christmas is on a Friday for you, so Feast not Fast.

(sigh)

WHEN Christmas is on a Friday, I know that it is not a day of Abstention in the church.

But I happen to eat fish on Fridays…

WHEN Christmas is on a Friday, I know that it is a day of Feast… but I have never in my life heard that on ANY day of Fast (Christmas, Sundays, etc) that I MUST Feast when it comes to food.

Are you telling me that I am REQUIRED to eat meat on Christmas? Are you telling me that I am REQUIRED to feast on Christmas? I have never heard of such a thing… and if you are telling me this, it will be a huge surprise to me.

Try pretending it’s Thursday, just for a little while

Why? I don’t have to pretend it’s Thursday. I will just know that it is Christmas, and I know that I can eat meat…

It’s really not that big of a deal.

When I wake up on Christmas morning, and get my breakfast, I can have sausage, bacon, and any other meat I want.