Meat on Friday after Thanksgiving?

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Eliza10

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My husband (of 2 1/2 years) was long in the habit of no meat on Fridays. I did sometimes but with no “support” for this habit it was not consistent. I’ve been Catholic since 2000 but as a single Mom, a busy life, I never made that habit stick.

Its still a discipline, we both understand. So my husband and I keep this pretty faithfully now.

I am serving the Turkey dinner this Thursday, with the stuffing, the gravy, etc! And we have overnight guests who do not practice this. The idea of putting together a separate fish dinner on Friday after all that work when I have leftovers to serve (plus, on Saturday I want to cook my visiting son’s favorite meal) just feels like too much to me. I want Friday to be leftover day…

My husband just commented on how bishops used to give dispensation for meat on this Friday after Thanksgiving, but he joked that an occasional bishop was a “stinker” and did not allow it for their diocese.

I want to do the right thing, but I would rather just eat what I make for my guests that day. Protein is an important part of my diet, so eating just eating leftover veggies that day and avoiding the protein does not seem like a very festive thing to do while entertaining for the weekend. What do you think?

I get the idea bishops have nothing to say about meat on Friday any more, so while I would not know where to look for a local official ruling, I also think there might not be one anyway.)
My husband says he would not ask this on a forum for fear of showing off as being too scrupulous. Yeah, I do not want to be too scrupulous, its generally not a problem! However, I want some thoughts! DH reminds me of this poem:
  • “No egg on Friday Alf will eat, but drunken he will be. Oh what a fine religious man is he!”*
 
As Church law in the United States does not require you to abstain from meat on Fridays outside of Lent, why beat yourself up over this? To voluntarily abstain from meat on Fridays is very laudable (I try to practice it myself - even though here in Canada it is not binding even during Lent - other than Ash Wednesday and Good Friday), but surely having leftovers from a special holiday and having extra guests in the house is an exceptional circumstance. I don’t think it would be right for you to impose your discipline on your guests. In fact, it may be more of a sacrifice for you to abstain from your abstinence. If you do not abstain from meat on Fridays, you are to substitute some other form of penance. Perhaps prayerfully read the Mass readings of the day after dinner or pray an extra Rosary.
 
Thanks, Brendan, for the link. I am going to read it with my husband!
twf said:
As Church law in the United States does not require you to abstain from meat on Fridays outside of Lent, why beat yourself up over this? To voluntarily abstain from meat on Fridays is very laudable (I try to practice it myself - even though here in Canada it is not binding even during Lent - other than Ash Wednesday and Good Friday), but surely having leftovers from a special holiday and having extra guests in the house is an exceptional circumstance. I don’t think it would be right for you to impose your discipline on your guests. In fact, it may be more of a sacrifice for you to abstain from your abstinence. If you do not abstain from meat on Fridays, you are to substitute some other form of penance. Perhaps prayerfully read the Mass readings of the day after dinner or pray an extra Rosary.
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First of all I would never impose it on my guests and if I felt I had to follow it I woudl not tell them i was doing that.

I am confused about it not requiring to abstain - are you not supposed to choose SOMETHING to abstain from instead of meat if you are not abstaining from meat? II find it too hard to decide which so we just do meat. Yet I have not heard of other people having an abstinence of choice for every Friday so I just chalk that up to the typical poor catechizing of our bishops ad priests her in America.

… I will read Brendans link with my husband now…
 
Thanks Brendan. My husband and I were glad to read the link and get the story on it. Me in particular!
 
This is nuts. There is no requirement to abstain from meat on Friday in the USA, except for during lent. Just tell your husband that he is free to go out and buy some fish and cook it himself, but you have decided to have leftover turkey for you and the guests.
 
Eliza10 said:
Thanks, Brendan, for the link. I am going to read it with my husband!

First of all I would never impose it on my guests and if I felt I had to follow it I woudl not tell them i was doing that.

I am confused about it not requiring to abstain - are you not supposed to choose SOMETHING to abstain from instead of meat if you are not abstaining from meat? II find it too hard to decide which so we just do meat. Yet I have not heard of other people having an abstinence of choice for every Friday so I just chalk that up to the typical poor catechizing of our bishops ad priests her in America.

… I will read Brendans link with my husband now…
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You may abstain from another food, or abstain from something enjoyable (say TV,) or you could say an extra prayer or do an act of charity! 🙂
 
Eliza10 said:
I am confused about it not requiring to abstain - are you not supposed to choose SOMETHING to abstain from instead of meat if you are not abstaining from meat?
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No.

Penance <> abstaining from X

Penance can take many forms.
 
Listener said:
This is nuts. There is no requirement to abstain from meat on Friday in the USA, except for during lent. Just tell your husband that he is free to go out and buy some fish and cook it himself, but you have decided to have leftover turkey for you and the guests.
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I’m also a cradle Catholic and remember the dispensation on the Fridsy after Thanksgiving. I feel too if you have leftover turkey it’s best to eat some the next day especially if you have guests. I try to abstain from meat on Friday but sometimes other fasting for me such as not listening to music, bring kinder to my husband or keeping away from the Internet is a lot harder. You should suggest to him that maybe saying an extra Rosary on Friday or spending more time with your family may be a better choice. Lent will be here before we know it!
 
I think simply praying thankfully for all the blessings of family and good food might be a good idea.
 
Please do not misunderstand me. I am not trolling. Nor am I being negative towards the Catholic faith in any way. I am a 58 year old American non Catholic (I am currently attending RCIA). My problem is that I think that ALL Catholics should follow the same set of rules/guidelines. I understand that Canon 1251 states that members of the Catholic Church are to abstain from meat on Fridays (or another food according to the prescriptions of the conference of bishops). I also understand that the U.S. Bishops Conference obtained permission of the Holy See for Catholics in the US to substitute a penitential or charitable act of their choosing.

This actually bothers me that ALL Catholics are not bound by the same set of rules. By allowing this “exception” for us Americans, it kind of sets a frightening precedent for other exceptions. The Eucharist for divorced and remarried Catholics or same sex marriages (those who do not abstain from sex) could end up being “exceptions” too. Where do we (as Catholics) stop and why should American Catholics get preferential treatment?

Like I said, I am not trying to argue or disrespectful to the Catholic Church. I just don’t understand this bending of rules just for us…
 
YiSan said:
Please do not misunderstand me. I am not trolling. Nor am I being negative towards the Catholic faith in any way. I am a 58 year old American non Catholic (I am currently attending RCIA). My problem is that I think that ALL Catholics should follow the same set of rules/guidelines. I understand that Canon 1251 states that members of the Catholic Church are to abstain from meat on Fridays (or another food according to the prescriptions of the conference of bishops). I also understand that the U.S. Bishops Conference obtained permission of the Holy See for Catholics in the US to substitute a penitential or charitable act of their choosing.

This actually bothers me that ALL Catholics are not bound by the same set of rules. By allowing this “exception” for us Americans, it kind of sets a frightening precedent for other exceptions. The Eucharist for divorced and remarried Catholics or same sex marriages (those who do not abstain from sex) could end up being “exceptions” too. Where do we (as Catholics) stop and why should American Catholics get preferential treatment?

Like I said, I am not trying to argue or disrespectful to the Catholic Church. I just don’t understand this bending of rules just for us…
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This is a matter of discipline, not a matter of doctrine. Jesus gave the Apostles the power to “bind and to loose”. We must obey our local bishops who consider the unique needs and circumstances of the particular flock they shepherd.
 
Eliza10 said:
My husband (of 2 1/2 years) was long in the habit of no meat on Fridays. I did sometimes but with no “support” for this habit it was not consistent. I’ve been Catholic since 2000 but as a single Mom, a busy life, I never made that habit stick.
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Abstaining from meat on Fridays would more properly be called a virtue rather than a habit. Eat or don’t eat meat. How virtuous do you want to be?
 
Isn’t having houseguests and the extra beds to make and dishes to do penance enough? 😃 dislodges tongue from cheek Ahem. 😉
 
Eliza, this decision is up to you. You can eat the fish and abstain from meat all day or eat the meat and do another sort of penance. Trust in the Church and don’t worry.

Personally I would do some other sort of penance, you never know, you may be put in a situation where there is nothing but meat to eat.

Or you may be out in that situation and evangelize by stating your penance to your house guests.

Either way it’s up to you, God Bless
 
Eliza10 said:
My husband (of 2 1/2 years) was long in the habit of no meat on Fridays. I did sometimes but with no “support” for this habit it was not consistent. I’ve been Catholic since 2000 but as a single Mom, a busy life, I never made that habit stick.

Its still a discipline, we both understand. So my husband and I keep this pretty faithfully now.

I am serving the Turkey dinner this Thursday, with the stuffing, the gravy, etc! And we have overnight guests who do not practice this. The idea of putting together a separate fish dinner on Friday after all that work when I have leftovers to serve (plus, on Saturday I want to cook my visiting son’s favorite meal) just feels like too much to me. I want Friday to be leftover day…

My husband just commented on how bishops used to give dispensation for meat on this Friday after Thanksgiving, but he joked that an occasional bishop was a “stinker” and did not allow it for their diocese.

I want to do the right thing, but I would rather just eat what I make for my guests that day. Protein is an important part of my diet, so eating just eating leftover veggies that day and avoiding the protein does not seem like a very festive thing to do while entertaining for the weekend. What do you think?

I get the idea bishops have nothing to say about meat on Friday any more, so while I would not know where to look for a local official ruling, I also think there might not be one anyway.)
My husband says he would not ask this on a forum for fear of showing off as being too scrupulous. Yeah, I do not want to be too scrupulous, its generally not a problem! However, I want some thoughts! DH reminds me of this poem:
  • “No egg on Friday Alf will eat, but drunken he will be. Oh what a fine religious man is he!”*
Click to expand...
No meat on Friday is no longer necessary - you must make some sacrifice, but it doesn’t have to be meat. So maybe forgo the dessert or give up coffee for the day as an alternative? Unless of course there is a dispensation - I’m not American so I wouldn’t know 🙂
 
If you want to stick with no meat, there’s also PBJ, grilled cheese, or something else simple. You don’t have to have fish, or cook anything elaborate, or even cook at all. :confused:

But you also aren’t obliged to abstain, and there have been some great suggestions here so far.
 
Eliza10 said:
My husband says he would not ask this on a forum for fear of showing off as being too scrupulous. Yeah, I do not want to be too scrupulous, its generally not a problem! However, I want some thoughts! DH reminds me of this poem:
  • “No egg on Friday Alf will eat, but drunken he will be. Oh what a fine religious man is he!”*
Click to expand...
As an aside, I just thought that I would mention that this seems like a good question to ask; keeping Friday penance is a good thing - no one would accuse your of being scrupulous 🙂

And I don’t think you can really “show off” scrupulosity - if one is accused of it, the motivation behind the accusation is the opposite of praise! 🙂
 
3DOCTORS said:
Isn’t having houseguests and the extra beds to make and dishes to do penance enough? 😃 dislodges tongue from cheek Ahem. 😉
Click to expand...
It would for my departed mother. Her phrase was that house guests were like fish - they both needed to be thrown out after three days.

We never had a house guest when I was growing up. Period.
 
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