First off, I don’t think God is going to condemn anyone to Hell for accidentally braking the Friday abstinence. I myself have done it, and it was actually quite stupid on my part: last Lent, I had been reading on the forums that the American bishops moved St Paddy’s Day observance to the Friday before, to make way for the feast of St Joseph; so the bishops granted an indult (or whatever the correct term is) for parishioners in a parish, diocese, etc dedicated to St Patrick so they could have their corned beef and cabbage. So, me being of Irish descent and having Patrick as my confirmation patron, I phoned the Archdiocese that Friday to see if it applied to me, too. After being on hold for 15 minutes, I was told, no, sorry, the CCCB did not make a similar decision. Unfortunately, while on hold, I was absently chewing on a slice of Polish sausage (I was still new to the abstaining thing). When I realized, I stopped. Did I sin? I don’t know. Had I continued with full knowledge, I would wager a definite “yes”. As it was, I confessed it.
Up to recently when I started reading these forums, I did not know about Friday abstinence. I was part of the crowd that thought that Catholics didn’t eat meat on Fridays until John XXIII said, nah, it’s all good. I only found out the rights of it in the past couple of years. Did I sin from the age of 7 until age 40? I don’t really think so: I was totally ignorant that the regulation still existed. So I think I incurred no mortal sin, because I didn’t wilfully break the law. Now I know, and can no longer claim ignorance. I think it is still possible that I might slip up – I almost took a free sample of some hors d’oeuvre at a grocery store on a Friday; I checked myself at the last second and asked, “Is there meat in this?” Reply: Yes. My reply: No thanks. Again, absent-mindedness, no intent to disobey, but luckily I caught myself.
It’s difficult, sometimes. I go to parties, or out to dinner, and I’m jonesing for a nice steak. Or I come home, and there’s nothing in the pantry but Chef Boy-Ar-Dee beef ravioli or Campbell’s chicken soup or Mr Noodle pork ramen. The irony is, that is when I can take the most comfort in the situation: I tell myself, John, if it were easy, it wouldn’t be penance.
And yet, it’s not that hard, really. Usually, it’s just inconvenient. Compared to what Jesus gave up on that Friday 2000 years ago, I’ve got it made in the shade. So it’s really such a tiny, tiny price. It’s just enough to put the brakes on my appetites, and to make me think about it, and why I am doing it.
God loved the world so much He sent His only Son to die on a cross for us. How much is that worth to you? Is it worth a few slices of luncheon meat? You are really not being asked for a lot here. The Church instituted this as a penance. Do you think if you come out of confession, the priest having given you ten Hail Marys as a penance, you can say, nah, I’ll just do five, God won’t damn me to eternal Hell for missing a few prayers?
I myself don’t think a lot about Hell. So I generally don’t think in terms of “If I do this will I go to Hell?”; I prefer to think in terms of “Am I doing what the Lord and His Church want me to do?” This mentality I find reflected in the Act of Contrition: “…because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who art all-good and deserving of all my love.…” — and the Confiteor: “…that I have sinned through my own fault…in what I have done, and what I have failed to do…”
And by the way: I don’t think the Church asking you to give up meat for one day a week is analogous (in even the remotest sense) to asking you to participate in wilful murder.