Meatless (non-Lent) Fridays and dinner invitations

[AngelusDomini]

It’s still not a matter of mortal sin in England and Wales, though.

See the briefing notes which were issued with the Press Release at the time.

Not a matter of mortal sin, however, it is the requested and specified common act. The briefing notes also made a very good point about how such an act can be an act of witness and should not unnecessarily hinder others when going out for dinner etc.

 

[ProVobis]

I also abstain on Fridays. When I run into your situation, I partake, and will abstain from meat the next day that we spend at home.

I don’t think it works that way. I realize the penance (other than abstaining from meat) thing on Fridays can get quite vague, no one even knows what the minimum is, but rules are rules.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

My husband and I have been observing no meat on Fridays for years. Now, we recently started no meat on Fridays at all. We recently were invited over a friend’s house for dinner. They were having spaghetti and meatballs. My husband told the friend of no meat on Fridays, and they put the meatballs in a separate dish from the sauce. When we got to their house, they were curious as to why we don’t eat meat on Fridays, so we told them about my husband being RC and how we recently decided not to eat meat at all on any Friday.

Many years ago, we declined dinner invitations with family at restaurants due to not eating meat on Fridays in Lent. The place that we were usually invited to was known for their hamburgers, so we declined.

 

[Michael_Mayo]

I don’t think it works that way. I realize the penance (other than abstaining from meat) thing on Fridays can get quite vague, no one even knows what the minimum is, but rules are rules.

Isn’t it best to stay away from “rule” minimalism. Let’s do something because we want to do it. No one here really knows me so I feel freer to say that I avoid meat all the time as penance and very few people know it. When public situations arise I stick to it as much as possible and don’t worry about it. Heck, after abstaining for so long EATING meat is almost a penance for me.

 

[Ontheway]

BE A CATHOLIC!

This is not personal, but a general comment addressed to all of us.

The season of Ramadan just ended. I work with Muslims who don’t eat at all. When they explain this, all the Christians are very sympathetic, ask respectfully about the details, and some even suggest that they will fast next year. THEN, WHY DO THE CATHOLICS HIDE UNDER A BUSHEL?

My wife, kids, and I became Catholics in 2014 and in attempt to follow the recommendations of the USCCB we do not eat meat on any Friday of the year. I realize it is not mandatory but some form of penance is and we went with the traditional avenue for meatless Fridays.

The issue we are running in to is that we have many Protestant friends and not a single Catholic in our families (not to mention most Catholics limit this practice to Lent), therefore this makes for some awkward Friday dinner invites and always gives me the feeling that its somewhat of an imposition and not the best way to evangelize. We also don’t want to be rude and not eat food that is prepared for us if we are just invited to a BBQ for example with other couples and we are just eating pasta salad.

When it is just our family - it’s no meat, but out of charity and good manners is it fine to just not mention the meat thing when we are invited on a Friday and just eat what’s put in front of us. I kind of feel like an annoying vegetarian at times.

Thoughts?

 

[Michael_Mayo]

BE A CATHOLIC!

This is not personal, but a general comment addressed to all of us.

The season of Ramadan just ended. I work with Muslims who don’t eat at all. When they explain this, all the Christians are very sympathetic, ask respectfully about the details, and some even suggest that they will fast next year. THEN, WHY DO THE CATHOLICS HIDE UNDER A BUSHEL?

Well there is hiding and there is making a show. Jesus spoke about fasting and making a big deal so as to seem holy. Then again he also spoke about letting our light shine. I think it comes down to being who we are without excuse and without arrogance. Being authentic and humble.

If I say to you that I not only abstain from meat on Fridays but every day, and fish as well for penance. Does it sound bragish? Like I think I might be holier than others because of this? That iswhat I try to avoid by keepin it close to the chest.

 

[Ontheway]

Well there is hiding and there is making a show. Jesus spoke about fasting and making a big deal so as to seem holy. Then again he also spoke about letting our light shine. I think it comes down to being who we are without excuse and without arrogance. Being authentic and humble.

If I say to you that I not only abstain from meat on Fridays but every day, and fish as well for penance. Does it sound bragish? Like I think I might be holier than others because of this? That iswhat I try to avoid by keepin it close to the chest.

Yes. You are “making a show”. You are testifying to your faith,
Plenty of people say “I don;t eat meat, I don’t eat pork” etc. The Jews and the Muslims do it all the time and are public about it. Everyone respects it and RESPECTS THEM for being faithful. But not the Catholics. We deny that we are Catholic. Being a follower of Jesus is supposed to be private.
I say that it is our responsibility to say, “I don’t eat meat on Friday” if this is how you choose to practice your commitment to Christ. DON"T HIDE YOUR CATHOLICISM UNDER A BUSHEL.

 

[Cavaradossi]

Yes. You are “making a show”. You are testifying to your faith,
Plenty of people say “I don;t eat meat, I don’t eat pork” etc. The Jews and the Muslims do it all the time and are public about it. Everyone respects it and RESPECTS THEM for being faithful. But not the Catholics. We deny that we are Catholic. Being a follower of Jesus is supposed to be private.
I say that it is our responsibility to say, “I don’t eat meat on Friday” if this is how you choose to practice your commitment to Christ. DON"T HIDE YOUR CATHOLICISM UNDER A BUSHEL.

Does one fast to be respected by others?

 

[HelenRose]

For myself I would go ahead and enjoy the meal. Having said that however, I would be surprised if anyone would even notice if you ate meat. If you feel that you shouldn’t eat meat cut it up, stir it around a bit and eat everything else. Don’t say anything about it and don’t make an issue of it.

If some one is rude enough to ask why you aren’t eating the meat. Smile sweetly and say, “It’s Friday.” That is all you need to say unless they make an issue of it. In that case say, “I really don’t care to discuss this with you.”

 

[camkutz]

But what about us poor Catholics in England & Wales who cannot whatsoever eat meat on Friday under pain of mortal sin?
We can’t substitute it for the next day because it’s an obligation for us

 

[AngelusDomini]

It is not necessarily a sin for those of us in England & Wales to eat meat on a Friday (it has the potential to be a sin though). However, it is the recommended and requested penance by the bishops of England & Wales so I think we’d need a pretty good reason to substitute it with another act of penance and that should only be done after consulting one’s parish priest or confessor. Unfortunately the guidance isn’t exactly crystal clear.

 

[ProVobis]

But what about us poor Catholics in England & Wales who cannot whatsoever eat meat on Friday under pain of mortal sin?
We can’t substitute it for the next day because it’s an obligation for us

You mean those who invited you for meat that day didn’t know that it’s a mortal sin for you? I would say it’s about time they learned.

 

[paperwight66]

But what about us poor Catholics in England & Wales who cannot whatsoever eat meat on Friday under pain of mortal sin?
We can’t substitute it for the next day because it’s an obligation for us

I am afraid you are mistaken, or have been misled.

See posts 18 and 20.

It was made clear at the time that it is not a matter of mortal sin.

Please read the briefing notes issued at the time on the website of the Catholic bishops of England and Wales.

 

[wcknight]

I don t eat meat on Friday’s year round, but if a special occasion falls on Friday or I have a good reason not to abstain, I give up something that I enjoy such as TV or fooling with my electronic devices especially if I know in advance.

But when some of my friends or non practicing family members sometimes challenge me or taunt me about abstaining then I stick to my meatless Friday commitment. They will say I am trying to be too pious or it’s supposed to be voluntary anyway.

I don’t want to appear holier than thou, but I will not give into their taunting either.
I just ignore them and eat my meatless fare even if it is just bread or veggies.

 

[ProVobis]

It was made clear at the time that it is not a matter of mortal sin.

Maybe not, but isn’t there at least some disobedience on the part of the meat-eater? Otherwise the bishops went out of their way for nothing.

 

[paperwight66]

Certainly, I agree with you. But I think it is important to guard against legalism, and especially important, to guard against false information which may cause a scrupulous person to worry over something that isn’t a mortal sin.

The English and Welsh Bishops have asked us to abstain. But this doesn’t over-ride the demands of charity (accepting a meal that has been lovingly provided) or of commonsense (only meat dishes left at the office restaurant, home fridge not working and so meat might go off if left until Saturday etc. etc.)

Actually, a local parish recently held a hotpot (meat) fundraising evening on a Friday. I must admit, it shocked me, but it turned out that it is always held on a certain Friday, because of the school kitchen being available that particular day.

 

[liturgyluver]

My Italian Grandmother - who was a faithful catholic, but hated piousness, legalism and hypocrisy - told me when I was young “The sin isn’t what goes into your mouth, but what comes out”. I have never forgotten her words.

 

[ProVobis]

Actually, a local parish recently held a hotpot (meat) fundraising evening on a Friday. I must admit, it shocked me, but it turned out that it is always held on a certain Friday, because of the school kitchen being available that particular day.

If I were to go back to London, I would be surprised as well. When I lived there, fish and chips places abounded almost everywhere. And not only on Fridays.

 

[wcknight]

I think of meatless Fridays as not a matter of right or wrong but as a sacrifice that I make in thanks for the sacrifice that Christ made for my sins. He has done so much for us is it not fitting that we can give up some small pleasures for Him ?

My big problem is that some times I forget it is Friday and order some meat dish at a restaurant or do not remember it is Friday until I have already eaten some meat.

That’s what happens after you retire, Friday’s are not much different from any other day of the week. If it were not for Sunday’s I would have no clue on what day of the week it is.

 

[liturgyluver]

If I were to go back to London, I would be surprised as well. When I lived there, fish and chips places abounded almost everywhere. And not only on Fridays.

You wouldn’t be that surprised. There are still plenty of good fish and chip places (though sadly quite a few sell burger buns and other junk). Almost every school canteen, every workplace canteen and restaurant will serve fish and chips on a Friday (amongst other options). I tend to have steamed cod or salmon or grilled sea bass on Friday. Love it.