Media and Parenting

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okay this topic is very hard for as its something that burns in my heart to this day. Some people would mistake it as a grudge but as a philosopher taking a wide view on the world my insight is critical.

How? I will explain.

when i was younger my mother told me stories about how for some explained reason her mother and father wouldn’t allow her to partake in after school activities of any type. sports, clubs or study groups. It was never explained the why but she assumed it was because of fear for her safety.

As I became 7-8 years of my mother came back to the church. She how ever did what some priest call ‘over compensating’ for her years of sin. The TV was tossed out the house, movies were destroyed, Halloween became a night of dark lights praying for the lost souls wondering the streets refusing to open the door to anyone.

Finally in a desire to give us proper education my mother wisely started homeschooling since the catholic school board was a weak mockery at best.

After a few weeks of this she became worried that the authorities would come after her as long as we lived in town and people could see we were not in school. seeking solitude we moved 10 minutes drive out of town much closer to the farm my father worked on.

Then is happened that my mother found I couldn’t learn correctly because I had some mental disability. she didn’t know at first she assumed I was being lazy. This created a rift of mistrust that never truly went away even after she found out when I was tested.

As the years past the amount of media that filtered into the home was pitifully small. when I met with other kids at our local church there was nothing we had in common. well except faith but a 10 yr old talking about university level theology came across as over the top.

when I finally went to high school the lack of ability I had to to talk to my peers and the constant scrutiny of my parents watching for ‘corruption’ came to be too much.

I broke down fail school and dropped out.

When I started working and used my hard erned money to help the famiy I was still considered corrupt.

I eft home and didn’t look back. I fell from grace and hated my parents and the religen that drove their seemingly unreasonable actions.

as time passed however I came back and started teaching a course at my local parish about parents media and children. Bridging the gaps so that understanding about what little joey was doing on the web made sense instead of clueless parents assuming the worst. I showed children the game rating system and what to avoid. We talking about gaming in the media and its impact on faith.

I want my tale to be a cautionary one. Yes we should ever seek for purity in the home but God wants us to live life. He doesn’t want us to shelter ourselves away from the world that He sent us into this world. We should rebuke evil but there is good out there that we can embrace and in doing so build a community with non Catholics. This shows shows them that we are not unlike them.

Also remember these words as i have seen my peers fall much farther then I did.

Ephesians 6:4
 
God bless you, dear one, and thank you for sharing your story.

I have an eight-year-old whose father dislikes the Catholic faith very much. I also have a “past” which makes me quite concerned about my son’s innocence and purity, and the culture’s influence on his choices.

OK, so a couple comments here:
  • Your mother’s choices seem quite extreme. I have many friends who home school and their children still have quite a bit of contact with the culture and the “outside” world – including Halloween, Santa Claus, Legos, Star Wars, Pokemon, current movies, and some television.
  • Like you are doing now, I train my son to understand ratings, and to guard his own mind and heart – “once something enters your mind, you can never take it out; and there are some things we just really do not need to know or think about.” (I’m thinking of violent and sexual scenes in movies, tv, etc.)
  • Most parents are trying to do their best for their children; and all parents are going to mess up – again and again and again. Please, in your zeal and personal pain, don’t go around freaking out parents telling us that our mistakes are going to permanently screw up our children and drive them to the gates of hell. Honestly, that concern is never far from my mind.
  • Being a concerned and protective parent is not synonymous with being a fear-driven isolationist. There’s all kinds of gray area that can help our children grow into happy, confident, God-loving adults – wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
Gertie
 
As a parent, I can say that it is a very fine line to walk wrt our Faith and the world. it is not unusual for people to go too far in one direction or another. It sounds like your mother was a little Jansenistic.

And I am very happy for you that you found your way back to the Church and are using your experience to help children navigate the world. Altho you suffered, God has brought good out of your suffering 🙂 I wish that you could visit our parish and show my children and the others of the parish the same things. This could be an important work for both children and parents!
 
I don’t mean to point at parents and try to freak them out but I fear that most catholic parents would reason that’s its better for a child to suffer and be saved then to gamble anything.

The issue I have is that its not a gamble its living life.

I understand your point however and I’m sorry if it came across the other way.

As for coming to your parish I travel all over for my work. Where are you?
 
I don’t mean to point at parents and try to freak them out but I fear that **most catholic parents **would reason that’s its better for a child to suffer and be saved then to gamble anything.
Wow. Do you really believe that your limited experience has given you access to most Catholic parents? Do you really believe you are doing God’s work by trying to place yourself between children and their parents? Are you not aware that parenthood is a vocation, and is a sacred right and responsibility given by God? Who are you to think you know better than the people God Himself placed in charge of the raising and educating of these children?

Even as a public school teacher, I watch with extreme caution anyone (teacher, administrator, volunteer) who thinks they should insinuate themselves between a student and their family – supsected abuse/neglect being an exception to be reported to the proper authorities (not dealt with personally!).

Honestly, your comments cause me to wonder whether you may need to back off from your “ministry” if you think you can do better than the parents of these young people with which you are working – that is, if you see every young person as being victimized by their Catholic parents.

Personally, anyone who thinks they are doing God’s work by trying to come between me and my son needs to stay away from my child! That is the same attitude as public educators who think they need to train their students to accept any and all manner of sexual expressions (at any and all whims) in the name of “tolerance” and “preparedness.” “Here’s your protection, young man; now go have fun!” :mad:

Sorry, I’m getting a little defensive here, but my goodness! The attitude, presumption, pride of your statement above is really quite shocking!

Gertie
 
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