Media brain washing. Is it just me? What to do?

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MariaN1101

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My child has lived a normal life, very sheltered from the outside world, with Christian values and believes. About to years ago she stumbled up on a game which took her to an online comunity which open the doors to a whole lot lgbt information and now she is convinced she is a lesbian. My heart is broken and every morning I woke up with a feeling of a hole in it.
2 years ago is exactly the time she got rid of all her dolls and girly play things because “she was growing and did not play with them anymore” and now I hear her talk about how she was always different.

What can I do? What to read? How to lead my (used to be) girly girl?
 
I am so sorry that our world has corrupted and messed with billions of people (myself included! but only sometimes, I mean, I try to not do bad stuff, you get the point). I don’t want to risk giving bad advice, so I’ll stick with the basics. READ THE BIBLE. I recently started reading it for the first time in along time, and I cannot describe how much it has helped me with my own struggles. Bring her to church. God’s house is where the party is at! And finally, pray with her, and for her. Praying one God’s greatest gifts, and it keeps families together. You and your baby girl are in my prayers!
 
First of all, I’m sorry; it’s heartbreaking to have someone you love be led away like this.

As far as doing, do not forget to love her. Disagreement does not equal hatred, but anything you can do to avoid blurring the lines (e.g. not yelling at her or escalating situations) will help.

I recommend resources such as “Gay and Catholic” (Gay and Catholic: Accepting My Sexuality, Finding Community, Living My Faith: Eve Tushnet: 0884944234079: Amazon.com: Books) and articles on Chastity.com. SSA is real, and depending on her age it may be powerful and overwhelming for her. Whether or not it is real SSA isn’t what matters right now; keeping her close is.

I repeat, I don’t know how old she is, but depending on the age “leading” might be difficult or even harmful. I would humbly like to mention that being sheltered isn’t normal anymore, and she may simply be seeking freedom and self expression she didn’t have before, whether or not it is A: true to herself or B: good for her. While I can’t tell you how to cope with her newfound label, I would encourage you to give her new outlets and new hobbies so that she can find different, better ways to express herself.

God bless!
 
MariaN1101 said:
lived a normal life, very sheltered from the outside world
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There’s the problem. A blade is not tempered in a freezer but by fire. Do not try to keep her from the world, but teach her why Catholicism is better than what the world offers.
 
Unfortunately, children grow up. They change. We all do.

Just as a side note - being “girly” doesn’t mean “straight”. There are plenty of tomboys out there who are straight as an arrow. And plenty of femme lesbians. If this is just a phase, you might do more harm than good if you forget that.
 
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OP, have you discussed this with your Priest? He should be able to guide you and help both of you!
 
There was a caller, a mother, calling into the Patrick Madrid Show about this very same thing. Its been recent, I will see if I can find it for you
 
I know of a case very similar to this. I can only hope that, with it being early adolescence, the die is not cast, and it may just be a phase, “egged on” by modern media that holds the gay lifestyle up as something cool, trendy, hip, and to be emulated. It is very difficult to find a movie or TV show anymore, even one that caters to young people, that doesn’t manage to work in a gay character as a sympathetic, positive role model. Hollywood is truly at war with heaven.

In adolescence, it is all just one big stew of hormones and psychological development, and I have to think a lot of youngsters “get their wires crossed” about things like this. It may pass. It probably will. It is always possible that she will meet a boy and develop a massive crush on him. Let’s hope so.
 
I don’t think your daughter believing she’s a lesbian and your daughter stopping playing with her dolls are related.

I suggest you don’t dismiss how she feels. Talk to her about it, listen to her. Ask her why she felt like she was different. Even if you believe she’s been led astray or it’s a phase, take her seriously. Make sure she knows you always love her.
 
My daughter was struggling with her identity. She lives with her mother. Unfortunately out union was not one well planned. Nonetheless, my daughter does not fit in with the other girls. She found she could only make friends with boys. This led her think she may be a boy in a girls body (yeah that’s a nice and scary thing to teach a frightened child). She asked me if she could be a transgender. She was terribly confused and depressed. She went through hell on her own with no friends for at least a year or two. My heart bled for her. When she asked me about being a transgender I explained to her she is a beautiful girl but she’s just not like most other girls and there’s nothing wrong with being unique. Within about 6 months something happened, she cut her hair short, defined who she is on her own accord and stopped listening to “conformity doctrine” of the present Marxist culture. She’s only 12 now, but she is growing
 
MariaN1101 said:
About to years ago she stumbled up on a game which took her to an online comunity which open the doors to a whole lot lgbt information and now she is convinced she is a lesbian
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How old is she? I work with young kids pretty often, and this is common. Guys their age are just plain unattractive to them, and they admire and look up to each other so it’s not unusual for them to be confused.

And even if she really is gay, she’s too young to act on it. Catholic or not. Don’t approach this too angrily, because this will just paint you as the Mean Bigots and will drive her to resent you more.
MariaN1101 said:
2 years ago is exactly the time she got rid of all her dolls and girly play things because “she was growing and did not play with them anymore” and now I hear her talk about how she was always different.
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I don’t see how this is related. She’s growing older and many girls outgrew overly feminine things until their late teens or adulthood (usually). I was a huge tomboy and my parents thought I was secretly gay too.

Don’t allow her to go on forums, she’s too young to be talking to people, usually adults, online especially about matters regarding sexuality. Let her know that she can ask you anything she’s confused about. Let her talk to you about this matter in her own words. Does she like anyone in particular? How exactly does she know? Also don’t freak out right in her face if she tells you she has a crush. Please don’t!
 
Best reply!! At the end of the day no matter what we say Your priest will give you much better advice than ANY of us on here
 
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MariaN1101 said:
What can I do? What to read? How to lead my (used to be) girly girl?
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Anyone I know who has divorced themselves from MEDIA are glad they did.

One doesn’t need the univited guest blabbing away - telling YOU what to like … et cet.

PLUS? Now you’ll add years to your free creative whatever time…

_)
 
Unfortunately, girls can be really mean, especially in middle school, so it’s not surprising that even a very typically feminine girl can struggle to fit in with other girls because they decided for whatever stupid reason that she is the odd one out.
 
You did not say how old your daughter is but it sounds like she is still under your roof. That she feels comfortable communicating this with you is good and you should work to keep those channels open. She may (or may not) change her mind about this - it is my understanding that sexuality is not a “choice” - though it is not unusual for young people to “try on” identities as they grow into adulthood.

As long as your channels of communication are open, she will hear you.

———

Of note, I am a fallen-away Catholic who may (or may not) come back. I have a deep respect for the traditions (and miss them dearly), but can’t reconcile some parts with my beliefs - so I may not be the person to be offering advice.

But my words come from this experience:
I had a dear friend in high school who came out as gay after college. He was raised in a strict (very sheltered) Catholic home and struggled with familial acceptance after opening up to his parents. They were devastated and it is my understanding that his relationship with them was strained afterwards.

Sadly, he committed suicide later that year. I’m pretty sure they had regrets until their end days and would have rather had a son who was gay than one in a cemetery. Clearly there was more to his story but his parents felt they had played a part in the despair that encompassed his final days.

Whatever you do, please make sure she knows, in no uncertain terms, that she is loved and accepted by you. That you will always listen to her and support her, even if you don’t understand her.
 
starsky77 said:
Within about 6 months something happened, she cut her hair short, defined who she is on her own accord and stopped listening to “conformity doctrine” of the present Marxist culture.
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I may just be revealing my own ignorance here, but where does Marx address issues concerning gender identity of children? I have never devoted a lot of time to studying Marx, but I understood that his main concern was with explaining the history of systems of economic production and how history can therefore be interpreted as a series of struggles between different social classes based on their relative positions with regard to those economic systems. Insofar as Marx would have been concerned with issues of gender identity of children at all, his interest would presumably have been restricted to the question of whether normative gender roles for children reflect the culture of the ruling class and serve its economic interests and, conversely, whether abandoning normative gender roles for children would be useful in the class struggle.

I am reminded of Marx’s famous observation in The German Ideology (1846), “The ideas of the ruling class are in every epoch the ruling ideas, i.e. the class which is the ruling material force of society, is at the same time its ruling intellectual force. The class which has the means of material production at its disposal, has control at the same time over the means of mental production.” I am not sure this principle can be applied to ideas about gender and sexuality. It seems to me that there is no consensus among the ruling class (i.e. those who enjoy ownership of the means of production) with regard to these issues.

Indeed, gender and sexuality are topics that more commonly are discussed in terms of “identity politics”, which is, arguably, the antithesis of Marxism. While the principal concern of Marxism is the class struggle, identity politics reflects more personal concerns that can exist separately from social class and, indeed, can be experienced by people of all social classes. This may explain why Marxists (such as the British Labour Party under the leadership of Jeremy Corbyn) are sometimes indifferent to the concerns of minorities (such as, in the case of the British Labour Party, Jewish people).
 
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