Meditation - Tuesday 11th. December 2007 - Being bounced around!

[BarbaraTherese]

Today’s Readings and Gospel are particularly powerful and comforting…in complete contrast to the First Reading at the Office of Readings from the Divine Office for yesterday (see quote box below). This is the great power of following the daily Liturgy and Prayers of The Church…they are a spiritual formation process in the School of The Holy Spirit.
Advent and the various Readings and Gospels(see further down with meditation) can really bounce me around something chronic - from great sadness and sorrow, regret, even fear at my sinfulness and the Judgement of God to great confidence and consolation in His Abundant Mercy…and since all this ‘being bounced around’ from one emotion to another flows from the Church’s Daily Prayers and Liturgy - the Formation School of The Holy Spirit, I can be completely confident it is all for me own absolute good as totally ‘ruffled up and bounced around’ I can feel during Advent as I follow the Cburch’s Liturgy and Prayers of this season.

Prophecy Of Isaias
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…
1 Behold the Lord shall lay waste the earth, and shall strip it, and shall afflict the face thereof, and scatter abroad the inhabitants thereof. 2 And it shall be as with the people, so with the priest: and as with the servant, so with his master: as with the handmaid, so with her mistress: as with the buyer, so with the seller: as with the lender, so with the borrower: as with him that calleth for his money, so with him that oweth. 3 With desolation shall the earth be laid waste, and it shall be utterly spoiled…to read entire text go to
drbo.org/chapter/27024.htm

**Gospel and Readings for **
Tuesday 11th. December 2007
http://www.usccb.org/nab/121107.shtml

Meditation
wau.org/meditations/meditations.asp?month=12&day=11&year=2007&x=6&y=7
Isaiah 40:1-11

How do you imagine Jesus would look as the “good shepherd” of his flock? We’ve all seen paintings of a sweet, slightly effeminate Jesus cuddling a defenseless lamb. …

However, the prophet is also aware that the term “shepherds” refers to the kings appointed to rule God’s people. God has no patience with weak, vacillating leaders who quake before their enemies and hasten to make ill-fated military alliances instead of trusting God. His ideal shepherd “comes with power” and “rules by his strong arm” … Sometimes his kindness feels like discipline as he cuts the lamb loose, dresses its wounds and curbs its propensity to wander. But it is still the kindest thing he could ever do for us. It is very helpful to admit that we are weak sinners in frequent need of rescuing—still, this is no excuse for passivity… be sure to draw on Jesus’ strength, his gentleness, and his patience—because you will need it.*** Not only are we called to be patient with others, but also with the Shepherd, who takes no shortcuts.*** He even empowers us to be patient with ourselves, often the hardest challenge of all.
…to read entire text, go to
wau.org/meditations/meditations.asp?month=12&day=11&year=2007&x=6&y=7

 

[BarbaraTherese]

I need to make a small amendment to the above post which is really a big amendment. It should not read “***the ***Formation School of The Holy Spirit” but rather “a Formation School of The Holy Spirit”. All prayer is through and with, in, The Holy Spirit who moves as and when He may unrestricted by any rule or obligation of any kind and prayer, particularly persevering prayer and daily prayer of any kind is in “The School of The Holy Spirit”…and not only that prayer which follows the rhythm of The Church Year in Her Liturgy and Daily Prayers, although it is one that has particular appeal to me despite the fact it really “roughs me up” at times…obviously I need it! The Holy Spirit indeed moves as He may and “His Ways are not our ways”…I forget that there for a moment - typical!

Barb

 

[ncjohn]

Hi Barb,

I was struck again more by the gospel reading.
Mt 18:12-14:

Jesus said to his disciples:
“What is your opinion?
If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray,
will he not leave the ninety-nine in the hills
and go in search of the stray?
And if he finds it, amen, I say to you, he rejoices more over it
than over the ninety-nine that did not stray.

I think that we’ve all heard this gospel so many times that it seems entirely reasonable that the shepherd would go out and search the lost lamb. I tend to think though that in saying such a thing, Jesus would have gotten a lot of raised eyebrows.

“…will he not leave the ninety-nine in the hills and go in search of the stray?” Are you NUTS, Buddy? Heck no I’m not going to leave the whole flock for one lamb!

It’s just really yet another case of God showing how His ways are totally different than our ways. That while many of those believing themselves to be “righteous” and not needing rescue–as if any of us aren’t daily in such need!–are ready to jettison the confused and wandering lambs who have strayed from the path, that God instead goes to extraordinary means to seek out that stray and bring him home. That might indeed include some object lessons in how the lamb’s straying has endangered him, but it will be lessons taught with love rather than a “you got what you deserved!”

I personally am very grateful for such a shepherd who doesn’t give me what I deserve but lovingly pulls me back into the flock, even if the flock sometimes doesn’t want me back.

The closing point of the meditation, which I note you also highlighted, was also very poignant.

He even empowers us to be patient with ourselves, often the hardest challenge of all.

I know there have been times for both of us when we have been able to help each other remember that we need to be patient with ourselves. While we sometimes seem to hold others to a very high standard–higher than we do ourselves–I think the truth is that we project our own impatience with our inability to meet the standard on to others, making it appear that we’re holding them to the standard when we’re really expressing our own frustration.

Peace to you Barb!

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Quoting John:

“…will he not leave the ninety-nine in the hills and go in search of the stray?” Are you NUTS, Buddy? Heck no I’m not going to leave the whole flock for one lamb!

This used to get at me too John. Joy for the one that is lost and ardently being sought but can’t help wondering about the other poor 99 left alone and at the wiles of wolves. Scripture is inexhaustible in its riches and often its mystery. Somtimes I have to rest in mystery.

It’s just really yet another case of God showing how His ways are totally different than our ways - to be “righteous” and not needing rescue–as if any of us aren’t daily in such need…had to delete for word count, John - ususal story "

As the quote said, sometimes kindness feels like discipline. Love at times asks hard choices. Over and above that in my own decision making, very often I am not sure at all that what I have decided is the “right” or the “wrong” but the way I have decided to travel and totally unsure if it is the right way or the wrong way-it remains merely that with all factors considered I think is the way for me to go. My decisions are entirely fallible. I am for sure aware that I sincerely dont hope that I will get what I deserve, although at times the fear can almost crush me that I might. My director and I are currently discussing the conflict I can feel between my own feelings which can be very negative about myself and what my Faith tells me investing in Faith rather than what I am feeling/not too hard to write, but a jolly painful way to pass the days and asks concentrated effort to overcome or try to overcome my complete negativity about myself in relation to God without dragging others into my misery.
Where does all this negative image come from is a mystery-and my premise is that its source is not the problem, dealing with it is. Although Father has assured me that if he thinks I need to consult my psychiatrist rather than him, then he will alert me. We needed to have this sorted out right from the beginning. My visit tomorrow will be my fourth seeing him as my director/confessor. Most often I see God and His Love, Care and Abundant Mercy shining on all with great abandance and almost reckless abandon without exception, but denied me and of course this is merely on the feeling level. Faith tells me it also shines on me, I just cannot sight or feel it for some reason.

I personally am very grateful for such a shepherd who doesn’t give me what I deserve but lovingly pulls me back into the flock, even if the flock sometimes doesn’t want me back.

The closing point of the meditation, which I note you also highlighted, was also very poignant.

He even empowers us to be patient with ourselves, often the hardest challenge of all.

I know there have been times for both of us when we have been able to help each other remember that we need to be patient with ourselves. While we sometimes seem to hold others to a very high standard–higher than we do ourselves–I think the truth is that we project our own impatience with our inability to meet the standard on to others, making it appear that we’re holding them to the standard when we’re really expressing our own frustration.

I am reading at the moment “Yielding to Love” by Fr. Michael Fallon and a Scripture Scholar of worldwide note who is a Sth. Australian. He comments that self knowledge is a lifelong journey and of course St. Teresa of Avila commented that even if her nuns were raised to the highest degree of Unity that they would never move out of the mansion of self knowledge/never perfected. My sins, shortcomings and imperfections are never a surprise to me and projections of all kinds are very easy to fall into. I must admit in reading your Post I sincerely hope and pray that I would never ask of another an ideal in which I am a frustrated failure unless I point out the ideal and admit my frustration and failure, although I cannot state that I never would do this for very often I am not even aware of my own failures at some levels anyway. I think our ideals and highest aspirations need stand despite my own miserable failure to achieve them. Be that as it may it is not impossible that it should happen for others very often see us more clearly than we do ourselves and very often a Post will reveal much about the writer
It truly appalls me, John, to think that I would ask/demand of another they meet a standard in which I am a miserable failure…it is a truly appalling thought to me. Yet I am totally unable to say that I do not do this. Recognizing my failures is one thing, recognizing them all is probably impossible to actually impossible.
Anthony de Mello wrote something quite beautiful. A man meets a man he knew many years ago and says “Hello Bill” - the man replies “I am not Bill”.

Blessings John…Barb

 

[BarbaraTherese]

A last comment in this series anyway. Some of these Peer Support Workers were on disability pensions and after serving for a while as a PSW…some returning to higher eduction…have now moved on and are no longer on Disability Pensions and are in the mainstream workforce as full time employees by mainstream employers.

The biggest problem it is well known in making fully contributing and fulfilling lives in our communities is the stigma which states that we are unable to do so due to our disability. This stigma we are now proving in Public Mental Health is based on completely incorrect and false notions, concepts and information. Undoubtedly modern medicine in both treatment and available medications has changed the complete landscape of mental illness and what it means, involves and infers. Hence opportunity to prove ourselves and what we really can do and achieve is blocked by stigma which crops up everywhere and including in The Church sadly. If opportunity is denied and blocked to us then our ‘hands are tied’ at least initially.

Some years ago we were visited by a psychologist who suffers schizophrenia and now practises and travels lecturing on mental illness. She (in her late teens) was from the USA and had been for years in a back ward of a psychiatric unit heavily drugged and as a complete write off. She fought her way out of this as some of us have done and is an outstanding example of what we can achieve.

Barb

 

[ncjohn]

I am reading at the moment “Yielding to Love” by Fr. Michael Fallon and a Scripture Scholar of worldwide note who is a Sth. Australian.

There are scripture scholars in Sth Australia? Must have taken a wrong turn at New Zealand!

I must admit in reading your Post I sincerely hope and pray that I would never ask of another an ideal in which I am a frustrated failure unless I point out the ideal and admit my frustration and failure, although I cannot state that I never would do this for very often I am not even aware of my own failures at some levels anyway. I think our ideals and highest aspirations need stand despite my own miserable failure to achieve them. Be that as it may it is not impossible that it should happen for others very often see us more clearly than we do ourselves and very often a Post will reveal much about the writer
It truly appalls me, John, to think that I would ask/demand of another they meet a standard in which I am a miserable failure…it is a truly appalling thought to me. Yet I am totally unable to say that I do not do this. Recognizing my failures is one thing, recognizing them all is probably impossible to actually impossible.

That was a very generic “we” in that description Barb. It was nothing more than a general observation on human nature based also a llittle bit on my limited knowledge of psychology. It was certainly not pointed at you in any way as I’ve not seen you hold anyone to any standard whatsoever, and do indeed seem more prone toward finding your own faults than projecting them elsewhere. I have certainly encountered many however who are unquestionably projecting their own issues on to others, as seen in them doing/saying the exact things they accuse another of.

Peace to you!

 

[BarbaraTherese]

There are scripture scholars in Sth Australia? Must have taken a wrong turn at New Zealand!

…ahhhh the exception that proves the rule!

That was a very generic “we” in that description Barb. It was nothing more than a general observation on human nature based also a llittle bit on my limited knowledge of psychology. It was certainly not pointed at you in any way as I’ve not seen you hold anyone to any standard whatsoever, and do indeed seem more prone toward finding your own faults than projecting them elsewhere. I have certainly encountered many however who are unquestionably projecting their own issues on to others, as seen in them doing/saying the exact things they accuse another of.

To be completely honest, John, I was not too sure and thank you for clarifying because you are always that gentle, understanding and caring person. I am aware that some faults and failings I am acutely aware of and try anyway most times to avoid…yet will still find myself unintentionally “doing that which I have made up my mind not to do” - to boldly and audaciously quote St. Paul in my connection. I guess, re reading my Post, I launched into a process of self examination (and self justification and rationlizations too a span of time and a re-read reveals) in my Post as at times I have been taken aback to have someone point out something adverse about me to me…and further chewing on it and reflection after initial refusal of their comments reveals they were absolutely right. With that comes “shock! horror” and overwhelming embarrassment which of course is merely pride burning in humiliation…nor I can justly confess I bear humiliation without further burning. And in great hope with no little doubts in connection to it, I do hope that pride just might be being pruned…if so, gosh there is a lot of burning ahead!!!

Blessings brother and my regards…Barb