Meet and Greet

[jude44]

]Our parish got away from the “meet and greet” before starting Mass. We now have “greeters” at the doors, I like that much better. I still get a nervous sweat at the part of the Mass where we do the sign of Peace w/each other.

I was away from the church for several years when I returned the Tabernacle was no longer on the altar, I still have not gotten over that. When I asked my pastor this was his reply. " its so the priest does not sit in front and block it", how ridiculous!!! he told the 2nd communion class that! I agree with th email response about rituals ceremonies being stopped; this was one thing that I thought of when I read it.
ccJude

 

[angelic1]

Hi THurifer2, I think it is a wonderful idea to have a meet and greet especially if you have a new pastor at your church, as he obviously is keen to get to know his parishoners, and is taking an interest in them.

 

[Seamus_Clarke]

I am not comfortable with it at all. I value that time for quiet prayer time and preparation for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass… We can “meet and greet” after mass in the social hall if we like. I never cared for the ‘sign of peace’, and now we have to do, basically, the same thing twice! Seems redundant to me!

Hi Sneakers and THurifer2 how are ye and everybody?. Well THurifer2 where are you from because in was some Countries they have diffend traditions so in some places they have meet and Greet before the mass and some after mass so depens where your from. I know from Ireland they really are not into the meet greet thing but some churchs in Ireland have meet and greet after mass and think in some parts of Ireland have it before mass, I think they good thing and think more churchs should to it because one you get know priests and the people in your area you could have tea or coffie and light things to eat and this day age the faith going down so i think it would help our priests and our people in area because make both the people in the parish and the priests closer together that we all one live in the area and it is only day we can talk to our people in our parish get know eachother better and even jesus mix with his disciples and people he met and had meals and enjoyed himself when he was on earth so in this why after the mass we can social with eachother and maybe hang more with the people that are in our parish i think that’s wrong with community because people dont know eachother or they drinkin or there crime in the area etc so if get back this way of life that god wants it would be better community because be talking getung know the people talking to the priests maybe orgin things for the community.

Well i argee with you Sneakers i like the quiet prayer time and preparation for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and as i said we can do the meet and greets after the mass. I never cared for the ‘sign of peace’ i have disargee with you there i love doing the sign of peace it is symbol of our peace to that person that is in our area and god whats us to love everybody so as human we are not going to be great we are goin fall and hate and hurt people so that’s why we do that at mass and i am shy person but i do agree some people are shy and are not able to it and feel really oneasy with it but shakin of hands is maners and sign of interducing yourself for the frist time you do it in a job interview so sense you have have maners if it in social life or if it’s for job interview etc so have no porbs doin it again. So hope hear ye soon. God bless

 

[Podo2005]

Except at the particular Judgement. Then it is “me and Jesus” ALL by our lone self.

Seems to me that if you are still living you AREN’T in the PJ… I dunno I think its great that we have a meet and greet at the beginning, makes us more community minded…and its true we gather together as a community to worship Jesus. We aren’t alone when we go to Church, its not “me and my Jesus” we gather together to be in communion with Christ as the Church.

 

[Podo2005]

Now Leptano, you are a traditionalist in the best way, and you know coffee and donuts is properly for after Mass. How can mothers get their children to behave if they can’t threaten them with loss of their donut?

lol haha… thats a funny way of looking at it

 

[carl_mary]

May I submit the foll. comments to thurifer2.

The Church building is a Sacred place, a place of prayer . a p-lace devoted to divine worship. It is the House of God as Our Lord and Saviour is PRESENT in the Tabernacle all the time. The Sacrifice of the Mass which perpetuates Our Lord 's sacrifice on the Cross is celebrated everyday. So this demands reverence on our part every time we are in the church.

I am therefore of the humble opinion that we should refrain, whenever possible, from talking in the church. Maybe the parish council and the Dean may propse a suitable room for that purpose. - the parish room for example. It is also important for us to meet after mass , we should fraternise .

In christ and Mary

carl

 

[Rabbititus]

So what do you think about:

“As we prepare to celebrate this Mass as a community of believers in Christ, let us welcome those who are visiting our parish. Can our visitors stand and tell us where you’re from?”

I’d be horrified by this and wouldn’t stand up - I’d pretend I wasn’t a visitor. If someone singled me out and made me talk about myself, I would likely never return to that parish.

Standing up in front of a large group of people and talking about myself scares the you-know-what out of me. In my teenage years I’d get a sick feeling to my stomach when the Our Father was drawing near because of the sign of peace that followed. I had some sort of social anxiety thing going on at the time that I’ve since gotten over somewhat.

I sometimes wonder if I had gone to a really touchy-feely (meet and greets, really long sign of peace, forced hand-holding) parish growing up if I would still be a practicing Catholic today, or if I would have associated the church with nausea and dread and stopped going.

Not everybody is an extrovert.

 

[Joan_M]

I can’t stand the “meet and greet” stuff - whether it is before or after Mass, or even if it is an usher at the door.

If I am attending a particular church for some time, then, gradually I will get to know individual parishioners. If I am a visitor, I do not want to be singled out.

In fact, I do not believe I am a visitor in any Catholic Church! As a Catholic I am at home in any of our churches. Therefore, do not greet me as if I am a visitor.

Before Mass we should all be, individually, preparing ourselves for Mass and afterwards, we should spend some time in thanksgiving. After all, Jesus remains present within us for about 15 minutes. Most Masses are finished before that time has passed after Communion.

We can be sociable after Mass if we want. Not all of us do. It should never be imposed on us.

 

[EasterJoy]

In a big parish, the “meet and greet” certainly helps in finding out the name of the people who always stand behind you in church and then bolt immediately afterward. Otherwise, connecting names with faces can be a very long-term project. Our parish uses name tags once a month, too, which also helps.

In a small parish where new parishioners are rare and most visitors who are someone’s relatives, it is a different thing. Lots of parishes fall somewhere in between.

That there is hospitality is the main thing. How it is done will depend on the parish. Well…and I’d hope the tone doesn’t neglect the fact that the introductions are happening in church before Mass. It should be low-key, in keeping with that all, new or not, are getting ready to worship together. Together, yes, but together to worship.

I am not comfortable with it at all. I value that time for quiet prayer time and preparation for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass… We can “meet and greet” after mass in the social hall if we like. I never cared for the ‘sign of peace’, and now we have to do, basically, the same thing twice! Seems redundant to me!

I like it because it makes it more clear that the Sign of Peace is not a “meet and greet”!
At the Sign of Peace, that sign of peace is exchanged and THAT IS ALL! Everything else needs to happen beforehand or wait until afterward.

I’d be horrified by this and wouldn’t stand up - I’d pretend I wasn’t a visitor. If someone singled me out and made me talk about myself, I would likely never return to that parish.

Standing up in front of a large group of people and talking about myself scares the you-know-what out of me. In my teenage years I’d get a sick feeling to my stomach when the Our Father was drawing near because of the sign of peace that followed. I had some sort of social anxiety thing going on at the time that I’ve since gotten over somewhat.

I sometimes wonder if I had gone to a really touchy-feely (meet and greets, really long sign of peace, forced hand-holding) parish growing up if I would still be a practicing Catholic today, or if I would have associated the church with nausea and dread and stopped going.

Not everybody is an extrovert.

I hope that it is understood that no one is required to admit they’re not parishioners. Some people like a specific welcome when they’re visiting in a strange place. The others would rather feel free to just make themselves at home.

 

[THurifer2]

In a big parish, the “meet and greet” certainly helps in **finding out the name of the people who always stand behind you in church and then bolt immediately afterward. **Otherwise, connecting names with faces can be a very long-term project. Our parish uses name tags once a month, too, which also helps.

.

WHy do you need to know their name? Are you going to turn them in or somthing?

The time prior to Mass is supposed to be spent on reflection and preparing for attending for the witness of the holy sacrifice of Calvary which we are to be immediate witnesses of. It is ALL about god for me before and right up to the beginning of Mass. The meet and greet utterly DESTROYS the quiet time of reflection and seriously disables the silent prayer in prep.

I liken it to setting off an M-80 at a monestery.

It seems as though we are pretty caught up in ourselves for the last 40 or so years. Golly didn’t Adam and eve do the same thing? Put their own selves before God.

 

[EasterJoy]

WHy do you need to know their name? Are you going to turn them in or somthing?

The time prior to Mass is supposed to be spent on reflection and preparing for attending for the witness of the holy sacrifice of Calvary which we are to be immediate witnesses of. It is ALL about God for me before and right up to the beginning of Mass. The meet and greet utterly DESTROYS the quiet time of reflection and seriously disables the silent prayer in prep.

I liken it to setting off an M-80 at a monestery.

It seems as though we are pretty caught up in ourselves for the last 40 or so years. Golly didn’t Adam and eve do the same thing? Put their own selves before God.

Should I attend Mass and exchange the sign of peace with somebody for a decade, and when they die still not recognize the name when their funeral is announced? You don’t see any problem with that? Yet there is not a time during Mass when introductions can be properly done. The sign of peace surely isn’t it!

The 15 seconds that takes to learn a name or two before the organ strats up the processional hymn strikes me as time well-spent. My recollection can endure that. The practice doesn’t make Mass all about me. In fact, in reinforces the truth that this act of worship is not all about me. Liturgy is the work of the people, worshipping God as one, not several works simultaneously accomplished by individuals compelled to experience it together.

I totally reject the idea that taking the trouble to learn each other’s names has anything intrinsically self-centered about it. I grew up in a parish where I literally knew everybody, and everybody knew me. I think name recognition is a worthwhile goal. If you have never had that, you are missing out.

Nevertheless, I can certainly appreciate those who prefer methods that co-exist amicably with silence. There are other ways to accomplish name recognition, like encouraging people to wear a nametag once a month or so. If your parish does a “meet-n-greet”, you might suggest voluntary nametags as an alternative, while omitting the “meet-n-greet” at least at one Mass per weekend, if not all the others.

 

[Pacbox]

I wish the meet and greet before Mass would be banned. My parish does this before every Mass and we have greeters at the door. And coffee and doughnuts. Instead of focusing on the Mass and what happens during the Mass, it becomes an opportunity to focus too much on me and we with no focus on Jesus and God.

The focus is instantly in Joe and Jane and Bob and Betty. Plus, instead of reverence and respect for Jesus in the Tabernacle, it becomes a feel good community picnic. I honestly now feel that I’m not going to Mass but a how to feel good seminar. I don’t walk into a church, I walk into a high school. I honestly think that Father could take away the Liturgy of the Eucharist and no one would be the wiser. Oh, a few would complain but then everyone would be onboard pretty quickly.

There is no silence in Mass, not really. Not anymore. Too much focus on the horizontal with no focus on the vertical. Which, considering Father’s homily Sunday, is only going to get worse since he said we need to focus on the horizontal and not the vertical.

As for the sign of peace, it becomes about how many people you can shake hands with. For the longest time, I felt guilty that I wasn’t shaking hands with enough people. Thankfully, I’ve gotten over that but it still pops up. And there are people who have to shake hands with everyone.

As for learning people’s names, outside of Mass is the best place. We’ve lost our focus on why we are at Mass in the first place, at least in my parish.

 

[Frosty]

Sometimes when I read the comments on some of these threads I feel that I’m living on another planet. Seriously! I have no idea what a “Meet and Greet” is in regards to attending Mass. Would someone kindly explain?
At my regular parish the only people standing about at the back of the church before Mass are the ushers. People come in and go directly to the pews. Just before Mass begins the deacon goes to the ambro, welcomes any visitors, tells us what Sunday in the liturgical calendar it is and if there are any announcements, he gives them at that time. That is it.
On the first Sunday of each month, either the CWL or the KofC host a breakfast after the 11am Mass in the parish hall and on the third Sunday, a coffee and doughnuts hour. Both are always pretty crowded. The parish is very active and most of the parishoners have at least a nodding acquaintance with each other. Of course that also may have to do with the fact that it is an old parish in a well -established neighbourhood where all the amenities are within walking distance and we run into each other all the time.
The Sign of Peace isn’t a free-for-all either. Apart from one elderly usher who feels he has to shake the hand of everyone who sits at the end of the pews in the centre aisle, most people only shake the hand of those beside them or directly in front or back. There are a few who like to wave but they are usually at the Saturday Vigil Mass.

 

[VietCatholic83]

We just got a new pastor who is a fan of the “meet n greet” and immediately instituted it into all Sunday liturgies.
Now every mass begins with the “In the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…The Lord be with you…Let us all turn to one another and introduce ourselves…” or something like that. I am all for hospitality and all around friendliness, but this does not belong in the Mass. Once again it puts the “horizontal” dimension of the Mass over what we are supposed to be focused upon, which is in worship to the Lord (the ‘vertical’ dimension).

IMHO the whole ‘meet n greet’ seems superficial, awkward and inappropriate FOR THE MASS. Other times, in the hall after mass or at other gatherings, this if fine.

 

[Oakleaf]

This goes to the whole “vertical” versus “horizontal” experience of Mass.

The whole “Meet and Greet” idea to me sounds like just more faux (im)personal corporate/pop culture. Very “Mickey Mouse” if you get my meaning. Exactly not what I go to Church for.

Coffee and donuts after Mass should suit the purpose giving people a chance to interact if they choose.

Speaking for myself, the “communal” experience comes from participating in the liturgy itself with the rest of the congregation, and from the sign of peace. That collective experience (if done reverently) helps me humble myself and put myself in the right attitude to orient myself to God.

 

[Lepanto]

The 15 seconds that takes to learn a name or two before the organ strats up the processional hymn strikes me as time well-spent.

Seriously, how well can one get to know one’s neighbor in a forced friendship that lasts for all of 15 seconds? All it amounts to is a non-liturgical sign of peace. That’s incredibly shallow.

If you truly want to get to know your neighbor, at the end of Mass before they bolt out ask them to join you for coffee/donuts in the social hall or take them out to lunch.

 

[EasterJoy]

I wish the meet and greet before Mass would be banned. My parish does this before every Mass and we have greeters at the door. And coffee and doughnuts. Instead of focusing on the Mass and what happens during the Mass, it becomes an opportunity to focus too much on me and we with no focus on Jesus and God.

The focus is instantly in Joe and Jane and Bob and Betty. Plus, instead of reverence and respect for Jesus in the Tabernacle, it becomes a feel good community picnic. I honestly now feel that I’m not going to Mass but a how to feel good seminar. I don’t walk into a church, I walk into a high school…

There is no silence in Mass, not really. Not anymore. Too much focus on the horizontal with no focus on the vertical. Which, considering Father’s homily Sunday, is only going to get worse since he said we need to focus on the horizontal and not the vertical…

You know, you’d think that in Oregon, every church would have a vestibule for this kind of thing, for shaking off the coats and what not, considering our weather. The newer churches don’t have that, though! That physical space, the space between the sacred and the profane, that place where we can re-connect a little on the horizontal plane in a way that enhances the vertical emphasis, rather than violates it, that makes so much difference.

I honestly think that Father could take away the Liturgy of the Eucharist and no one would be the wiser. Oh, a few would complain but then everyone would be onboard pretty quickly.

I know you’re bummed out, but that really isn’t fair. It is not true.

As for the sign of peace, it becomes about how many people you can shake hands with. For the longest time, I felt guilty that I wasn’t shaking hands with enough people. Thankfully, I’ve gotten over that but it still pops up. And there are people who have to shake hands with everyone.

As for learning people’s names, outside of Mass is the best place. We’ve lost our focus on why we are at Mass in the first place, at least in my parish.

I see what you mean. Still, there is the problem of the come-late-and-leave-early people. I really do want to know their names, too. Any foot in the door to convince them to stay around a little longer!

The Mass is a prayer that we offer together, as one people. You can’t get rid of either the vertical or the horizontal. If you do, you’re missing the point. Jesus prayed: “May they be one, as you and I are one”…that is the point, to roll our lives up as one in the single Acceptable Sacrifice, and be offered together to God, hidden together in Christ.

There isn’t a pyschological exercise that can make us one. Coffee and donuts won’t do it. Only the Mass, the source and summit of the Christian life, can do it. But the vertical does have to be there. If we don’t put our relationship with God first, we will never, ever love our neighbor as ourselves. The horizontal can’t happen without the vertical. We have to be disposed, but only God can make us one…just as we can’t be one with God if we reject his command to love each other. There is a cycle involved, but it starts and ends with the vertical.

I can understand the objections to the meet-n-greet. I see the postive points, but I understand the down side, too.

 

[Rabbititus]

I hope that it is understood that no one is required to admit they’re not parishioners. Some people like a specific welcome when they’re visiting in a strange place. The others would rather feel free to just make themselves at home.

I have been in situations where the person sitting next to me realizes (or finds out) that I’m new and then either points me out or pushes me into introducing myself. These weren’t at masses, but in other situations, but it could happen at a mass.

I must admit that I don’t like the name tag idea either - that, IMO, makes mass seem more impersonal, like I’m at work or in a self-help group. There is a parish in town that uses color-coated name tags (so people can even know how long you’ve been a member), but I don’t attend that church - in part because it does use name tags.

My parish has greeters and ushers, and a vestibule where people can talk before and after mass. It has Pancake and Porky breakfasts, coffee and doughnuts, a yearly festival, youth groups, bake-sales, and a slew of other ways to get to know fellow members. I also run into fellow members outside of church, like at the grocery store or library, and we can get to know each other more in those places too. That some people come late and leave early is, IMO, their business - they obviously don’t want to get to know everyone else.

 

[EasterJoy]

Seriously, how well can one get to know one’s neighbor in a forced friendship that lasts for all of 15 seconds? All it amounts to is a non-liturgical sign of peace. That’s incredibly shallow.

If you truly want to get to know your neighbor, at the end of Mass before they bolt out ask them to join you for coffee/donuts in the social hall or take them out to lunch.

When I ask these brothers and sisters to lunch, I would be helped if I could start by calling them by name, don’t you think? That is what the 15 seconds are for: a start, not a finish. It is not as if I was lucky enough to be there when they were each baptized. These are people we should ardently hope to share Heaven with, souls for whom Christ thirsts as much as He thirsts for us. I don’t think that wanting to learn their names sooner rather than later is shallow at all.

And hello…“forced friendship”? When we ask for baptism (and annually renew those vows at Easter), we sign on for much more than “friendship”, don’t you think? There is, rather, a deep and freely-accepted relationship that exists by virtue of our common baptism, a relationship which we should all hope will be unlimited in its love and eternal in its longevity.

 

[EasterJoy]

That some people come late and leave early is, IMO, their business - they obviously don’t want to get to know everyone else.

Our Lord thirsts that they should know Him better. We should, too.
Sometimes God supplies what we need, not what we bargained for.