Meeting her dad for the first time. Bring gifts?

[cooljosiah03]

I have a scheduled visit to Costa Rica to see my girlfriend. Part of my itinerary is meeting her family for dinner. Her mom’s already seen me when we had a video chat a couple of weeks back.
She actually likes me and has been helping my girlfriend in preparing for my visit. However, her dad is quite wary of me. He’s an old Tico who has met a lot of Westerners that have made bad impressions on the locals.
This is what makes me anxious the most. What if he judges me even before he gets to know me? Another thing that worries me is that according to my girlfriend, her dad doesn’t know that we met on a romance tour, and she’s not sure how he would react to that information.
By her description, her father seems to be a nice guy. He raised his family of three children with his hard work. He’s very protective of all of them. Honestly, he reminds me of my grandfather’s personality which is really nice but also worries me at the same time.
I was thinking of impressing her father so he would like me. Should gifts be enough to do that? Should I bring something from my country or should I just get something generic like perfumes, shirts, and the likes?
I really want to get on his good side especially that this will be the first time both of us will meet. Any suggestions? I badly need help on this matter. How do you impress a traditional Tico that might be your future in law?

 

[AdamP88]

Alcohol to break the ice.

 

[Kathleen18]

Have you asked your gf what to bring? She knows her father and the culture.

 

[Katie777]

Bring a small hostess gift for inviting you into thier home. It should be something both your girlfriends mom and dad will enjoy and add to your visit.

It should be a joint gift not just for the dad.

Wine, or flowers, or a box of godiva chocolate, and things like this will surely be appreciated.

 

[pianistclare]

IN addition to what the others have said, be sure to be extra respectful and smile a lot. Not that you wouldn’t, but you’ll win him over by being very sweet with his daughter. Realize that this is hard for parents. A guy comes into their beloved child’s life form a faraway place…I’d be wary, and I’m a pretty accepting and friendly mom.
Give him time.
I hope your visit goes splendidly!

 

[1ke]

What if he judges me even before he gets to know me?

There isn’t anything you can do about that.

her dad doesn’t know that we met on a romance tour, and she’s not sure how he would react to that information.

I don’t know what a “romance tour” is, but lying is never a good idea. It should be up to HER to tell him anything that is uncomfortable, not you.

I was thinking of impressing her father so he would like me.

Bad idea.

Just be yourself.

Should gifts be enough to do that?

No.

Should I bring something from my country or should I just get something generic like perfumes, shirts, and the likes?

A token gift as you arrive for dinner to their home, like a bottle of nice wine or flowers for her mother, would be appropriate. Nothing beyond that. Ask your girlfriend if there are any customs in her culture you should know about.

Any suggestions?

Be yourself and stop stressing.

How do you impress a traditional Tico that might be your future in law?

Honesty and character, not gifts and attempts at impressing him.

 

[alice24]

Don´t forget the mom, no matter if you have met online!!
In her father´s eyes, this is one of the little moments when he can see how you treat women in general.

 

[Xantippe]

He’s an old Tico who has met a lot of Westerners that have made bad impressions on the locals.

Just guessing, but probably the behavior that he dislikes is outsiders being arrogant and throwing money around.

If you are humble, respectful and don’t act like you can buy everything and everybody, I think it will go a long way.

Another thing–the in-law relationship is a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t worry if you’re not instant best friends with her father. You will hopefully have many years to demonstrate your worth.

Best wishes!

 

[Allegra]

I know nothing specific about Costa Rican culture, but I would think that a hostess gift would be considered more appropriate than something personal, unless this visit is in honor of a gift-giving occasion such as a birthday. A food, beverage, or traditional gift from your hometown would probably be well-received, however, that in and of itself won’t impress anyone. What will impress him is how you treat his daughter.

 

[Xantippe]

A food, beverage, or traditional gift from your hometown would probably be well-received, however, that in and of itself won’t impress anyone.

Yes.

OP, do you have any major tourist sites near where you live? A lot of those places have souvenir books with photographs that make nice gifts.

http://www.npbooksonline.com/us-national-park-books/story-behind-the-scenery

I also like guidebooks with photographs.

I’m sure that where you live is very different from Costa Rica, so it might be very helpful for your girlfriend’s family to be able to picture where your girlfriend might be living in the future, and to have something to show to friends and family.

 

[cmscms]

My first though is stop referring to him as a ‘Tyco’. Sounds kind of prejudice (unless it means something other than what I am thinking.)

Secondly, it sounds like her father will NEVER like any man she brings home. Some dads are just like that and you need to learn to live with it

 

[Xantippe]

Here’s something important:

Get your girlfriend to find out for you exactly how all of the people you are meeting wish to be addressed by you.

This is an easy way to avoid accidental offense.