Meeting/ impressing my Boyfriend's Mother

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faith_swan32

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I’ve met my S/O 's mother, but I don’t think she likes me very much because I am a Christian. We have some things in common, but not much. She is all into baking and cleaning. But I can’t cook or anything. She is what I would call, “Annoying” in a way. but isn’t every mother?? Any advice in what to do to get her to like me?
 
And I’d learn to do some basic cooking. Also, most Mothers really don’t want to give up their little boys at first. Peace.
 
Be careful not to let those thoughts takes root as she may not be an expressive person. Just continue to be respectful and courteous and be open to learning an easy baking recipe. Smiles and have a great day
 
Focus on the things you have in common, ask her questions about her own interests and stop thinking of her as “annoying”.
 
faith_swan32 said:
but I don’t think she likes me very much because I am a Christian.
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Deal in facts, not suspicions or what you “think“.
faith_swan32 said:
We have some things in common, but not much. She is all into baking and cleaning. But I can’t cook or anything.
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It’s not necessary to have a lot of things in common with your boyfriend’s mother. And if you marry, it is not necessary to have things in common with your mother-in-law. Cooking and cleaning are basic skills that everyone needs to know. Those are things that you should be able to do as a wife and mother. Those are things that your boyfriend should be able to do as a husband and father.

You sound like you were very young. Perhaps you should work on life skills.
faith_swan32 said:
She is what I would call, “Annoying” in a way.
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Perhaps you should be a little more charitable.
faith_swan32 said:
but isn’t every mother??
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Him, no. I think that you’re young, and perhaps not very mature.
faith_swan32 said:
Any advice in what to do to get her to like me?
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Be yourself. It doesn’t do any good to try to be someone you are not in order to get someone else to like you. Be kind and charitable.
 
Wow. Maybe you might have a more charitable and open mind. Perhaps actually get to know her personally and not look at her as someone you want only to impress.
 
Is it possible that she doesn’t like you because she finds you annoying?

I’m not trying to be uncharitable, I’m trying to illustrate how poorly your statement came across.
 
I’m also wondering about your age, how serious a relationship this is, and a few other things. “Annoying” is an ambiguous term used by 12yos who know they don’t have a single good reason for excluding someone from their lunch table. Have you read any of the other MIL threads? Two weeks ago there was a lady on here whose MIL snuck into her home while she was out of town and painted it and was in the processes of insisting that she be allowed to choose their baby’s name! THAT is a real problem!

Is this lady actually causing a problem and if so, what is the nature of that problem? The way you describe it, it sounds like you just can’t be put upon to get to know her. Why do you think she doesn’t like you? What religion is the MIL, if any? Why can’t you cook or “anything”? Are you disabled? How do you procure food? I would also be a little concerned if my son was getting into a serious relationship with someone who couldn’t cook, “or anything”. Maybe show her that you are, in fact, able to take care of yourself and take care of a family? I think we need more information to really offer good ideas.
 
Just be yourself. Sometimes it takes time for people to open up to new people.

Show that you care about her son. Is he a Christian? Why would she not like Christians?
 
The best thing you can do is be a good girlfriend and treat her son well. You don’t need to do anything to get her to like you- just be yourself and make an effort to get to know her.

If she likes to cook, ask her to teach you how to make one of her son’s favorite meals. And stop referring to her as annoying. Maybe she is, but if you are serious with your boyfriend you’ll need to learn how to respect his mother, even if you aren’t best friends.
 
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I’m sure it’s a better relationship goal if you give a hug 😂
 
Just try and be respectful when you’re together. If she does make negative remarks, try and ignore them. If she persists, try and wait to talk to hr privately, instead of waiting until things get so bad that you end up in a serious disagreement. Remember, what you have in common…you both love her son.

How long have you and your bf been together? are you seriously thinking of marrying? These things can affect the way she sees you, if you have different ideas about what you want for your/his future. Try and see things from her point of view.
 
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