Meeting men in my age range

[Norseman82]

I’m a 45 year old guy and I’ve had little to no luck with the catholic singles web sites. On top of that the ‘singles group’ in my local parish is geared to the 20 somethings. I have yet to find a women who is serious about her faith and willing to follow the true teaching of the Church, more than just talking about it. From the web sites all I got was … How much do you earn, do you own a house, what kind of car do you drive, do you want to have kids, and my favorite… send a picture of yourself on a harley. hahaha!

Also, just so you know, I’ve yet to ‘date’ any women in their 30’s or 40’s that didn’t expect a ‘sleep over’ after we had gone out only a few times. Needless to say those relationships ended quickly … and two of them were very active in the church!!!

I’d say turn to prayer first, and if our lord is calling you to marraige, He will guide you. that’s were I am at this point.

Yeah, I’m only a few years behind you, and many of the young adult groups “kick you out” when you turn 40, and if you haven’t found anyone, it’s like “Sorry, tough luck, you’re just doomed to be single, get used to it.”

Most singles/young adult ministries need to realize how hard it is to find compatible Catholic spouses these days (which is why I posted what I did regarding the so-called “single vocation” in another current thread). Many times at young adult events people seeking marriage are “faulted” for seeking marriage; we need a paradigm-shift so that the ones who “fault” those seeking marriage are the ones who are faulted!

And because one study found that today’s young adults are the most self-centered in recent history, maybe the Church needs to deliver a “smack down” on people who have not outgrown their high-school cliquishness or are living immorally.

 

[Norseman82]

but it is hard with the hours I work. Noon to 8;30 PM. I also wish I had a female Catholic friend to join with me.

Maybe it’s just a matter of getting into a better schedule where you can get more involved with Catholic young adult groups?

And as far as “makeovers” are concerned…I don’t know what in particular what would be “made over”, but if there is something simple that you can do (that does not violate the boundaries of modesty), try it and find out. Besides, there are some “makeovers” that actually may be beneficial for you health-wise (like losing weight if you are overweight, or quitting smoking if you smoke).

And anyone who would suggest taking you to a nightclub to “get drunk” in the hopes of you losing your inhibitions is what is traditionally called a “bad companion” and “near occasion of sin”, so if this is what you have to put up with at work, maybe looking for a better job is now elevated to a spiritual priority (and who knows, maybe the job you end up with could be one in the field of your college major!). And there are other social events besides going to nightclubs (like maybe take in a Blues or Cardinals game?). The evolving postings I am reading from you indicate that you are answering some of your own questions, and that you want to get out more socially, it’s just a matter of hooking you up with good Catholic Christians rather than “pagans”.

I’m sorry, but I’m a guy, and when guys are presented with a problem/challenge, their instinct is to try to solve it rather than accept it.

 

[Norseman82]

but maybe some men are shy?

At the National Catholic Singles Conference, Rose Sweet brought up the fact that sometimes guys take time to evaluate a girl before approaching them or asking them out, so please consider this as well if a guy does jump over the tables from across the room right away.

 

[chatterbox]

Hi Norseman62.

I read over your three posts. No chance of me switching to the morning shift anytime soon (esp. since we are terribly understaffed right now.) I do think I might like to have a job with slightly better hours or where I am allowed to wear a skirt. But I like my job and I like working in a place that helps others. I work in a nursing home. I do not want to feel I am giving up by feeling I have to look for another job. I do not want to feel that my fellow Catholics think I am beneath them becuase of my job. Period. Maybe they won’t. Maybe it is my imagination. I don’t know.

I believe that what Father Corapi says is true that there is no shame in being a working person. I grew up in an all white, middle-class neighborhood and I have learned a lot from working in a more diverse place and I think I am better for it. But I don’t meet any other Catholics at my work (other than the elderly residents.)
I think God might have put me where he did for a reason. Not that I want to stay at my current job forever. I think my co-workers respect me although they do not at all understand my beliefs.

I just wish I knew some others that shared my beliefs and I hope that someday I might meet the right man who will understand me. . I guess what you are telling me is that I have to risk getting rejected.

Thank you foe posting.

 

[chatterbox]

Maybe I should try to find a women’s retreat I could attend. If I had female friends that shared my beliefs that could be a start.

 

[Norseman82]

But I like my job and I like working in a place that helps others. I work in a nursing home.

I have learned a lot from working in a more diverse place and I think I am better for it. But I don’t meet any other Catholics at my work (other than the elderly residents.)
I think God might have put me where he did for a reason. Not that I want to stay at my current job forever.

I think that in the above two snippets you have answered some of your own questions and developed a good response to anyone who would have a problem with he job you hold.

I just wish I knew some others that shared my beliefs and I hope that someday I might meet the right man who will understand me. . I guess what you are telling me is that I have to risk getting rejected.

Everyone faces rejection at some point (some more damaging than others), and not every person is compatible with each other (and for those of us who take our Catholic values seriously, that only makes us more picky!).

But part of what I was getting at was that perhaps your job schedule was getting in the way of some social opportunities, and that some of your coworkers are “bad companions”.

 

[chatterbox]

Norseman 82

I understand what you are saying and I guess I am coming up with my own answers. I want to be able to fit in with other Catholics but I don’t want to be someone I am not. As far as bad companions, there is good and bad. My co-workers know pretty much how I operate and that I have lived a sheltered life. THey may tell me if I am depressed “oh, cheer up, smoke a blunt” but they know I am not going to start smoking marajuana just becuase of thier comments and they tease me becuase I am fun to tease but I don’t get really mad. Jesus dined with sinners but so many Catholics want to shut themselves off from outside world. (Maybe you don’t shut yourself off from people. Not trying to accuse.)
My sisters are trying to give me kind of an ongoing makeover. They are insisting I get my hair cut. I have worn my hair in a ponytail every day for like ten years. I hate change. But I will because I can’t find enough good arguments not to.
I guess at this point I have gotten enough advice and I have to accept certain things. I don’t really like change-it makes me feel like I am being someone I am not. Thanks for responding.