Meeting with Priest for first time since engagement

[LaFleurDeLis]

My fiance and I will be meeting with our priest on Wednesday for the first time since our engagement. I’m trying to compile a list of questions to have to ask him while we are with him about the marriage, wedding,etc. I know he will be asking a lot of questions as well, I’m just trying to be as prepared as possible.

Any advice or suggestions would be much appreciated!

 

[Joannm]

The priest will be filling out a PNI or pre nuptial investigation. He will probably begin just getting to know about you for a bit. Then he will send one of you out of the room to ask the investigation questions to each of you alone. Things like have you ever been married before, have you ever been under the care of a psychologist, were you ever engaged to be married before, will you be open to having children, can you complete the “marriage act” (meaning do you have any disability that would prevent you from having intercourse).

Then he will let you know what is expected of you with regard to pre-cana classes and he will give you a book that has the readings in it and he will let you know about the ceremony and what you can choose, what you can do, and what you cannot do. He will tell you how much it costs and about arranging for the musicians.

He will tell you that you need to get baptismal certificates but no sooner than 6 mos. before the wedding. He will tell you about getting the marriage license. He will also see if the date and time you are looking for are available.

For the most part it is painless. There aren’t too many questions you need to ask. Perhaps ask if you need to get flowers for the sanctuary or does the church provide them. Can you use a runner, throw rose petals (our church doesn’t allow these). You can ask how early your florist can get into the church if you are using one. Ask about the rules for photographers (he will probably tell you about this). Also ask for the phone number of the music director and for a listing of songs that you can use (some parishes are strict about this).

 

[Stylites]

Congratulations on your engagement. In general, the priest wants to interview both parties to ensure a valid marriage.

Most parishes will get you in contact with a marriage coordinator. It is her responsibility to ensure that the ceremony occurs smoothly. To her you would ask about most details, but certainly the priest ought to be available, too.

 

[Phemie]

Congratulations on your engagement. In general, the priest wants to interview both parties to ensure a valid marriage.

Most parishes will get you in contact with a marriage coordinator. It is her responsibility to ensure that the ceremony occurs smoothly. To her you would ask about most details, but certainly the priest ought to be available, too.

Just goes to show how vastly different parishes are. I’d never heard of a parish marriage coordinator until I started reading these boards.

 

[Joannm]

Just goes to show how vastly different parishes are. I’d never heard of a parish marriage coordinator until I started reading these boards.

We have a woman who conducts the rehearsal. Not exactly a marriage coordinator.

 

[1ke]

My advice: chill out.

No need to compile a list of questions. Just go to the meeting and let your priest lead you.

 

[Joannm]

You just need to remember that this is a liturgical event. You don’t have too much control as to what goes on at the ceremony or the Mass. It’s not like what you see on The Wedding Channel where brides basically design their entire ceremony.

 

[Phemie]

You just need to remember that this is a liturgical event. You don’t have too much control as to what goes on at the ceremony or the Mass. It’s not like what you see on The Wedding Channel where brides basically design their entire ceremony.

Miss Manners published a column a few years ago about Church weddings. She was spot on with her comments, down to the mention that flowers and, particularly, candles have specific meanings and places in a church so you may not be allowed to change them to suit your idea of the ideal ‘decor’. Wish I could find it online. She even made the comment to the effect that after the minister says ‘you may now kiss the bride’ the congregation should not have to wonder if consummation will be taking place right then and there. Yes, I know, “you may now kiss the bride” is not part of the Catholic rite but you’d be surprised at the number of priests who include it.

 

[puzzleannie]

congratulations
have a frank talk with fiance about family issues that might complicate wedding planning–which church, non-Catholic relatives etc. so you can head off interfering relatives with a solid plan

general advice: use this time in preparing for a lifetime of marriage, not merely for planning a wedding

 

[TheMc]

congratulations
have a frank talk with fiance about family issues that might complicate wedding planning–which church, non-Catholic relatives etc. so you can head off interfering relatives with a solid plan

general advice: use this time in preparing for a lifetime of marriage, not merely for planning a wedding