Meeting young couples at Church

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nodito

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Hi. I’m in my early-twenties, newly married, and living in a new city. I love my parish, my married life, my husband. But I miss having close friends. I really yearn to meet other young married couples at our parish, but I’m not sure how to do this.

Ours is a vibrant faith community. Every Sunday I see several married couples that might be around our age. Do you have any suggestions for how I might approach these couples? It feels odd and awkward to me to just go up and introduce myself or invite someone over for dinner, especially without knowing anything about them.

Thoughts? Thanks so much in advance! God bless.
 
I would like to know why single people are not considered as good friendship material. They would probably be better friends to you than the couples.
 
I saw something on a Starbucks cup once that really made sense. It basically said the best way to meet new people is to just start with a simple “hi”.

I feel kind of lame taking advice from a Starbucks cup… however that Chai latte was amazing. 👍

I am sorry I am not qualified to help you. 😦
 
You bring up a good point. I don’t want to dismiss the possibility of making single friends either!

I think there is something to be said for couples making couple friends, though. For example, although I have single coworkers, I don’t know anyone my age that is married, let alone Catholic and married. I’d love to have someone to share in my fear and excitement about starting a family, or to ask for advice about married life.
 
Does your Parish have “coffee and donuts” after Mass? That is a perfect time to talk to people!

You might also think about approaching your Pastor about starting a “young marrieds” fellowship. Meet monthly at a restaurant or at the Parish Hall for food and fellowship. Many times these types of ministries don’t exist simply because no one has volunteered to organize them.
 
kage_ar said:
Does your Parish have “coffee and donuts” after Mass? That is a perfect time to talk to people!

You might also think about approaching your Pastor about starting a “young marrieds” fellowship. Meet monthly at a restaurant or at the Parish Hall for food and fellowship. Many times these types of ministries don’t exist simply because no one has volunteered to organize them.
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You might even volunteer to help with the coffee and donuts because that will put your faces before a large portion of the parish.

Actually, *ANY *kind of volunteering is the best way to get to know other people of all ages and marital status. That does require you to be bold and ask someone about volunteering. Since young couples often have young children who take up a LOT of their time you might consider helping with some child related activity even if you don’t have any of your own.
 
Does your Parish have “coffee and donuts” after Mass? That is a perfect time to talk to people!
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Y’all get free donuts after Mass?
 
kage_ar said:
Yes. It is in Canon Law I think 😛
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Hmmmm. At our parish they have a stipend can. I wonder if I started contributing more if they’d get a better selection because lately they haven’t had enough chocolate.

Which gets me back to the OP. If you decide to get involved in Coffee and Donuts to meet people, try for an earlier Mass. You don’t want to be the ones there after the last Mass when all the good donuts have run out. :eek:
 
Hi!
I am kinda in the same situation. I am 26 and have been married for 7 years, both DH and I are converting to the faith and its been scary since we didn’t know any other catholics.

I am a very, very shy person so its been really hard to step out of my comfort zone and meet people. Finally I decided I would never meet people if I didnt first make the effort, so DH and I are both going to the ACTS retreats offered by our church. I also signed my DD up for school at the church and I volunteered for being a class mom and working at the festivals at the church.

We found out our neighbor is catholic and attends mass at our church…sooooo kinda out of the blue we asked her husband and her to be our kids godparents:D They were shocked but agreed. And yes it was very hard asking because I have a fear of rejection-but I am so glad I did!!!

Good luck meeting people!!

PS. I would love it if someone invited my husband and I to dinner!
 
nodito said:
Hi. I’m in my early-twenties, newly married, and living in a new city. I love my parish, my married life, my husband. But I miss having close friends. I really yearn to meet other young married couples at our parish, but I’m not sure how to do this.
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What city? My wife and I have much the same situation - although we’ve lived in the parish for 5 years now (and I grew up there…)
 
We’ve faced the same problem…

What’s helped is volunteering, like a few others have mentioned. We were active team members and sponsors in our RCIA program and have now gone over to the pre-cana/marriage prep which we’ll begin this week. Our parish is HUGE, so meeting couples who we’ll see on a regular basis at Mass is not very often. We’ve met several couples and singles who we’ve gotten to know quite well and it’s been fun fostering friendships over the Catholic faith.

The other thing that we became involved with is a young Catholic couples group. A lady who knew my mom started it and they met in one couple’s home about once a month. Now, most of these couples were quite older than us (we were just married and they were on their 4 or 5th child) and in a completely different place in their lives, so our interests and activities and TIME limits were different, but it was still fun and great to get to know these people. Check and see if there’s anything in your diocese like that and if not, talk to your pastor about starting one! My parents were involved in one when we lived in WI (way back in the day) and loved it! They made some wonderful friendships through that group. They were also involved with CUF for awhile too which was more all-family oriented (as opposed to just couples), but it was still a great way to get to know other couples.
 
lotusblossom said:
We’ve faced the same problem…

What’s helped is volunteering, like a few others have mentioned… We’ve met several couples and singles who we’ve gotten to know quite well and it’s been fun fostering friendships over the Catholic faith.

The other thing that we became involved with is a young Catholic couples group.
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I agree…

My husband and I live in NYC (anyone?? -she hopefully said- 😛 ).
We belong to the Legion of Mary in our parish, and we love it although our “work” it’s more towards the ill and the elderly (and their families) because we provide spiritual help. The reason why I wrote “although” it’s because most people we have met are over 65.

Don’t get me wrong, we love what we do, and we are very fond of our friends in the community and the people we have helped, but we’d really like to meet and hang out with other couples our age (that is 29.36, but you didn’t hear it from me…😊 ) or close, so we could share not only our faith, but anywhere from dinner and a movie to advice… I’m a decent cook!😛

There are not too many “after mass” activities in our parish, and most people are seniors. We have single friends, that’s not an issue, but we are not in the same mind frame anymore… For example, last weekend, my husband’s single (and over 40:confused: ) friends were upset because my husband doesn’t go to clubs with the guys anymore. Sometimes, single people don’t understand (I was one, to be honest), that we are thru with that kind of things. For us a wild evening now is play Wii or go to six flags!

I know most of you must be far… but hey, we are here…
 
Two ideas that work:
  1. Have an open house on a Sunday afternoon for a few hours, and pass out some invites after Mass to young couples that look nice.
Make it clear on the invite that you are new in town and just trying to get to know some people in your parish. Tell them to invite anyone else that they think might enjoy themselves. Make sure it is clear on the invite that they can stay for a few minutes or a few hours.

Do simple food (chips, cookies, snacks, soda, liquor if you’re comfortable with it).

Kids welcome! Most couples with lots of kids won’t stay long.

Do this once a month–keep it really simple so that it doesn’t become a major expense. Others who become your friends might start chipping in some of the snacks and drinks.
  1. When we were young with small children, we decided to become more sociable in our church (Protestant at that time). So we started asking people over for pizza after Sunday morning worship service. Usually it was someone our age, with children. But sometimes we would ask an older person or couple to come join us for pizza.
There was a pizza parlor near our house that had really cheap pizzas, and we would buy a few two-liters of soda and a bowl of grapes or strawberries, and usually just served ice cream for dessert. Nothing fancy.

The pizza place got to know us so well that they would give us extra pizzas! Two for one!

PIzza is still a fairly cheap option today, if you buy from a cheaper pizza parlor. A lot of times, chains like Papa Johns have coupon deals that make the pizza super cheap. Sometimes the pizza parlors have a “family salad” too, which helps make the meal a little more nutritious.

And almost everyone likes pizza, even fussy children!

While we were waiting for the pizza, we would chat and the kids would play. Usually the husbands (if it was another couple) would drive off to pick up the pizzas, thus giving them some “guy time.”

This was really really fun. Sometimes the couple we invited over would stay all day and we would realize that we had made some new friends. Other times, the couple would eat their pizza, leave, and that would be the end of it, other than saying “hi” in the church lobby.

But it was fun wondering from week to week who we would ask. Even our kids got into this, and they would ask us, “Can we invite THAT family over this week? They look nice.”

In fact, now that this has come back to my memory, I would love to try this again at my parish. Problem is, my husband goes to Sat Vigil Mass, and I attend Sunday Masses at the parishes where I play piano. So we aren’t together very often at Mass.

Another problem for us is that we are total abstainers from alcohol, and this does seem to be a social barrier that keeps us from getting to be close friends with many Catholics. We really don’t want alcohol in our house. So what do you think, everyone? Would a Catholic couple, family, or single person be offended if we invited them over for pizza after Mass, but didn’t serve or offer to serve alcohol, and only served soft drinks, milk, or water? :confused:
 
cat i like many Catholics like beer, especially with pizza(the flavors go so well) or on a Sunday afternoon during football season. and while i would be suprised by not having a cold one i wouldnt be offended at all.
 
Cat said:
Another problem for us is that we are total abstainers from alcohol, and this does seem to be a social barrier that keeps us from getting to be close friends with many Catholics. We really don’t want alcohol in our house. So what do you think, everyone? Would a Catholic couple, family, or single person be offended if we invited them over for pizza after Mass, but didn’t serve or offer to serve alcohol, and only served soft drinks, milk, or water? :confused:
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I think a good way to avoid the alcohol issue would be to have it after Sunday Mass because it isn’t uncommon for people not to drink at lunch time however people shouldn’t be offended it you don’t serve beer. I wouldn’t have any alcohol at my house not because I don’t drink I just don’t drink very often and rarely have any in the house. But what would you do if someone brought beer or alcohol with them ? Would you request that they don’t drink it or would you let it slide ?
 
OP, thanks for starting this thread, DH and I are in the exact same situation. All of our Catholic friends are at least an hour away and we only know a couple people in the new city. New parish seems okay but not very active so i think we may look around some more. I prefer to hang with couples just because we have more in common 🤷 and then DH and I can socialize together or separately as we choose with them.

Thanks for the tips Cat. I certainly wouldn’t expect to be served alcohol (or want it) in the middle of a Sunday! MAYBE a glass of wine with dinner but not right after Mass :confused: that seems very unusual to me.
 
Well, I’m married to an italian guy and I’m latina, so our thing is ‘eating’ rather than drinking.

We actually have a few rum bottles around the house, but as a decor 'cause we’ve never opened them! We do have an occasional beer or mojito, but we barely drink, so a party without alcohol to me sounds very good and it’s not an issue at all…

Good food and coffee is, though! 😃

I do have a question… how do you approach another couple after mass??? I’m not really shy to ask, but if any of you were getting your belongings from the pew after mass, and another couple you don’t know comes to you and ask you to go out and have brunch with them, how would you take it? what would you say? (honestly)

Would you be freaked out? annoied? Would you come up with a 25 minute story about how busy your life is? Or would you be happy and delighted to go?

And after that, would you tell other people from the parish about that ‘weird couple that asked you out’…?

Not that we are weird, but is not very common (to me) just to ask other people out after mass. I think it would be easier under other kind of situations, like pre-cana f.e.

Am I the only one thinking this way?
 
OP, I just sent you a private message. I am in Atlanta as well, and if we are in the same parish I would LOVE to meet up with you after Mass.

Just reply to that 🙂
 
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