Mega-churches and turnover rate.....

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I read somewhere that mega-churches have a high turnover rate. And that a lot of Catholics get suckered into going to those mega-churches.

So I guess my question is-how can we get those lapsed/non-practicing catholics to leave those mega-churches and come back Home to Mother Church?

Any ideas???
 
jason3477 said:
I read somewhere that mega-churches have a high turnover rate. And that a lot of Catholics get suckered into going to those mega-churches.

So I guess my question is-how can we get those lapsed/non-practicing catholics to leave those mega-churches and come back Home to Mother Church?

Any ideas???
Click to expand...
I have attended mega churches. As a protestant, if I fell out of love with a church, I would just go to another one that fit my spirituality. I didn’t see it as defection from one church to another. They were all Christian churches.

So just because a Catholic leaves one mega church, it doesn’t mean he or she will come home. She can very easily find another large or smaller church.
 
jason3477 said:
I read somewhere that mega-churches have a high turnover rate. And that a lot of Catholics get suckered into going to those mega-churches.

So I guess my question is-how can we get those lapsed/non-practicing catholics to leave those mega-churches and come back Home to Mother Church?

Any ideas???
Click to expand...
Attract the mega-church crowd to your parish with just a few easy steps:
  1. First lose the organ. Organs are so passe. What you’ll need is a praise band with electric guitars, drums, and a tambourine. The tambourine is key. You’ll also need a foxy belter to complete your praise band in the event that your worship service is ever broadcast.
  2. Hymnals are for your grandmother. Get with the 21st century, man. What you need is a flashy PowerPoint presentation and an LCD projector to smack the words of those bumping melodies up on the wall.
  3. Plush seating. Let me repeat: Plush seating. Pews are uncomfortable and bad for lumbar support. You need seating that people can really sink into. This isn’t a Holy Mass, it’s theater. The sooner you understand that, the better. People need to feel like their plopping down for the latest in the Twilight Saga.
  4. Your Priest needs a makeover and let’s start with an Armani tie. Cassocks are garish and don’t at all convey the message “I’m a man of faith and style.” Man of the cloth? I think not. Let’s get some divine duds on that mo-fo.
  5. While we’re on the topic of dress, please discourage parishioners from wearing suits and dresses. It’s imperative they were Jesus Ts with snappy sayings like, “Jesus is my homeboy.” and “Christ!, I love Jesus.”
  6. Get off your knees! No one communes with the Savior that way anymore. Get on your feet with your arms up! You need to appear like you are being held at gunpoint by the Virgin herself.
With these few easy steps you too can attract following of mega proportions. 😃
 
Conor7 said:
Attract the mega-church crowd to your parish with just a few easy steps:
  1. First lose the organ. Organs are so passe. What you’ll need is a praise band with electric guitars, drums, and a tambourine. The tambourine is key. You’ll also need a foxy belter to complete your praise band in the event that your worship service is ever broadcast.
  2. Hymnals are for your grandmother. Get with the 21st century, man. What you need is a flashy PowerPoint presentation and an LCD projector to smack the words of those bumping melodies up on the wall.
  3. Plush seating. Let me repeat: Plush seating. Pews are uncomfortable and bad for lumbar support. You need seating that people can really sink into. This isn’t a Holy Mass, it’s theater. The sooner you understand that, the better. People need to feel like their plopping down for the latest in the Twilight Saga.
  4. Your Priest needs a makeover and let’s start with an Armani tie. Cassocks are garish and don’t at all convey the message “I’m a man of faith and style.” Man of the cloth? I think not. Let’s get some divine duds on that mo-fo.
  5. While we’re on the topic of dress, please discourage parishioners from wearing suits and dresses. It’s imperative they were Jesus Ts with snappy sayings like, “Jesus is my homeboy.” and “Christ!, I love Jesus.”
  6. Get off your knees! No one communes with the Savior that way anymore. Get on your feet with your arms up! You need to appear like you are being held at gunpoint by the Virgin herself.
With these few easy steps you too can attract following of mega proportions. 😃
Click to expand...
Very amusing. 😃

But one question: Is it okay for Episcoplians to say “mo-fo”?
 
Conor7 said:
Attract the mega-church crowd to your parish with just a few easy steps:
  1. First lose the organ. Organs are so passe. What you’ll need is a praise band with electric guitars, drums, and a tambourine. The tambourine is key. You’ll also need a foxy belter to complete your praise band in the event that your worship service is ever broadcast.
  2. Hymnals are for your grandmother. Get with the 21st century, man. What you need is a flashy PowerPoint presentation and an LCD projector to smack the words of those bumping melodies up on the wall.
  3. Plush seating. Let me repeat: Plush seating. Pews are uncomfortable and bad for lumbar support. You need seating that people can really sink into. This isn’t a Holy Mass, it’s theater. The sooner you understand that, the better. People need to feel like their plopping down for the latest in the Twilight Saga.
  4. Your Priest needs a makeover and let’s start with an Armani tie. Cassocks are garish and don’t at all convey the message “I’m a man of faith and style.” Man of the cloth? I think not. Let’s get some divine duds on that mo-fo.
  5. While we’re on the topic of dress, please discourage parishioners from wearing suits and dresses. It’s imperative they were Jesus Ts with snappy sayings like, “Jesus is my homeboy.” and “Christ!, I love Jesus.”
  6. Get off your knees! No one communes with the Savior that way anymore. Get on your feet with your arms up! You need to appear like you are being held at gunpoint by the Virgin herself.
With these few easy steps you too can attract following of mega proportions. 😃
Click to expand...
Coming from a contemporary oriented church with those big screens into RCIA this Fall too funny!

Val
 
Conor7 said:
Attract the mega-church crowd to your parish with just a few easy steps:
  1. First lose the organ. Organs are so passe. What you’ll need is a praise band with electric guitars, drums, and a tambourine. The tambourine is key. You’ll also need a foxy belter to complete your praise band in the event that your worship service is ever broadcast.
  2. Hymnals are for your grandmother. Get with the 21st century, man. What you need is a flashy PowerPoint presentation and an LCD projector to smack the words of those bumping melodies up on the wall.
  3. Plush seating. Let me repeat: Plush seating. Pews are uncomfortable and bad for lumbar support. You need seating that people can really sink into. This isn’t a Holy Mass, it’s theater. The sooner you understand that, the better. People need to feel like their plopping down for the latest in the Twilight Saga.
  4. Your Priest needs a makeover and let’s start with an Armani tie. Cassocks are garish and don’t at all convey the message “I’m a man of faith and style.” Man of the cloth? I think not. Let’s get some divine duds on that mo-fo.
  5. While we’re on the topic of dress, please discourage parishioners from wearing suits and dresses. It’s imperative they were Jesus Ts with snappy sayings like, “Jesus is my homeboy.” and “Christ!, I love Jesus.”
  6. Get off your knees! No one communes with the Savior that way anymore. Get on your feet with your arms up! You need to appear like you are being held at gunpoint by the Virgin herself.
With these few easy steps you too can attract following of mega proportions. 😃
Click to expand...
I know others have commented, but I had to add my LOL. Don’t forget to add the coffee/snack bar as you enter.🍿
 
Conor7 said:
Attract the mega-church crowd to your parish with just a few easy steps:
  1. First lose the organ. Organs are so passe. What you’ll need is a praise band with electric guitars, drums, and a tambourine. The tambourine is key. You’ll also need a foxy belter to complete your praise band in the event that your worship service is ever broadcast.
  2. Hymnals are for your grandmother. Get with the 21st century, man. What you need is a flashy PowerPoint presentation and an LCD projector to smack the words of those bumping melodies up on the wall.
  3. Plush seating. Let me repeat: Plush seating. Pews are uncomfortable and bad for lumbar support. You need seating that people can really sink into. This isn’t a Holy Mass, it’s theater. The sooner you understand that, the better. People need to feel like their plopping down for the latest in the Twilight Saga.
  4. Your Priest needs a makeover and let’s start with an Armani tie. Cassocks are garish and don’t at all convey the message “I’m a man of faith and style.” Man of the cloth? I think not. Let’s get some divine duds on that mo-fo.
  5. While we’re on the topic of dress, please discourage parishioners from wearing suits and dresses. It’s imperative they were Jesus Ts with snappy sayings like, “Jesus is my homeboy.” and “Christ!, I love Jesus.”
  6. Get off your knees! No one communes with the Savior that way anymore. Get on your feet with your arms up! You need to appear like you are being held at gunpoint by the Virgin herself.
With these few easy steps you too can attract following of mega proportions. 😃
Click to expand...
LOL…can also add the the inclusion of Mixed Martial Arts inspired attire, or if Pastor falls in the artsy category a soul patch.
 
Very good conor7!

You did forget one important criteria:

Provide mega-church with your current W2 to ensure accurate tithing of 20%!

J Heath
 
You forgot about the spirit dancers. I friend invited me to her mega-church for a concert (It was a good concert) and they had a team of “sprit dancers” suspended from the ceiling by silks. My friend said the spirit dancers team do participate in the Sunday services they only do this stunt as a “prelude”.
 
I thank God that He did not have me go through the gamut of Protestant chaos before showing me the way home. The descriptions of these mega churches make me sad for them.
 
Conor7 said:
Attract the mega-church crowd to your parish with just a few easy steps:
  1. First lose the organ. Organs are so passe. What you’ll need is a praise band with electric guitars, drums, and a tambourine. The tambourine is key. You’ll also need a foxy belter to complete your praise band in the event that your worship service is ever broadcast.
  2. Hymnals are for your grandmother. Get with the 21st century, man. What you need is a flashy PowerPoint presentation and an LCD projector to smack the words of those bumping melodies up on the wall.
  3. Plush seating. Let me repeat: Plush seating. Pews are uncomfortable and bad for lumbar support. You need seating that people can really sink into. This isn’t a Holy Mass, it’s theater. The sooner you understand that, the better. People need to feel like their plopping down for the latest in the Twilight Saga.
  4. Your Priest needs a makeover and let’s start with an Armani tie. Cassocks are garish and don’t at all convey the message “I’m a man of faith and style.” Man of the cloth? I think not. Let’s get some divine duds on that mo-fo.
  5. While we’re on the topic of dress, please discourage parishioners from wearing suits and dresses. It’s imperative they were Jesus Ts with snappy sayings like, “Jesus is my homeboy.” and “Christ!, I love Jesus.”
  6. Get off your knees! No one communes with the Savior that way anymore. Get on your feet with your arms up! You need to appear like you are being held at gunpoint by the Virgin herself.
With these few easy steps you too can attract following of mega proportions. 😃
Click to expand...
I think you make a good point here that Mega Churches that you often see on TBN have turned Church into a Branson, Missouri like show. But speaking as a Catholic revert who spent 12 years in the Assemblies of God there is a lot of good worship out of those “shows.” It is not liturgical but much of it is very intimate with God. As a Catholic I have incorporated this worship in my everyday life. I listen to contemporary Christian music throughout the day and sometimes with my hands raised in adoration and other times on my knees. I especially incorporate this type of worship before the Blessed Sacrament (quitely of course). I suppose you can say I am a Charismatic Catholic.

Peace,
David
 
davidmlamb said:
I think you make a good point here that Mega Churches that you often see on TBN have turned Church into a Branson, Missouri like show. But speaking as a Catholic revert who spent 12 years in the Assemblies of God there is a lot of good worship out of those “shows.” It is not liturgical but much of it is very intimate with God. As a Catholic I have incorporated this worship in my everyday life. I listen to contemporary Christian music throughout the day and sometimes with my hands raised in adoration and other times on my knees. I especially incorporate this type of worship before the Blessed Sacrament (quitely of course). I suppose you can say I am a Charismatic Catholic.

Peace,
David
Click to expand...
Yes, I love Contemporary Christian Music as well and would never have known about it without my church. I do feel the Spirit move and do enjoy that kind of worship very much. My husband had it right a couple weeks ago when he said to me that I know why you loved this for so many years- you love concerts and this is just like a concert. And I hate to admit it but I have felt almost the same sense of belonging if not necessarily Spirt at the multiple Bruce Springsteen concerts I have attended. I don’t know a lot about Charismatic Catholicism but maybe once I go through RCIA and get to know the faith in general this might be a fit for me? I just know that I am feeling so blessed by the riches of the Mass right now- I had no idea and I can’t even receive the Eucharist yet!

Val
 
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