Melting down indifference to God and inertia to improve

[MichaelAnonymous]

I am really tired of my chronic habitual sins which do not give me peace. I find it even more troubling and disgusting when my will knows what is good but my flesh falls easily in face of temptation.

Even more distressing is that I am still ‘obsessed with’ habitual sins even when my flesh finds them a displeasure - by ‘obsession’ I do not refer to the strict psychiatric sense, but a more general attachment to that particular sin, although I am not ruling out any possibility of obsessive-compulsive tendency underlying the habitual sin.

I am ashamed of not feeling ashamed of my sins. I want to change. But I lack the determination to do good. I’m sluggish and sloth binds me with sins. Very often I do not follow my daily routine and disorder starts to creep into my life, culminating in sins. Yet, I know this problem and I’m not even brave enough to change - sometimes I think I’m a hopeless sinner and I’m too lazy to even change. In that case, if I don’t take the initiative, God can hardly move me towards His direction. Not moving towards Heaven means falling under gravitational force down to Hell.

I want perfect contrition. I know I am guilty by my will even though my flesh disagrees. I seek cleansing through the Sacrament of Reconciliation as soon as possible every time I sin, but sometimes I’m not sure if God’s forgiveness comes at too cheap a price. As Pope Francis said, I don’t want to treat the Confessional as self-service laundry, but I really can’t pretend that nothing has happened and lead a normal routine unless I am absolved and I do penance, so I have no choice but to go to Confession as soon as possible even before I think of the punishment of Hell or perfect love for God. When I am wrong, go to Confession for first aid.

However, every week I fall. I feel sad and miserable. But I want to melt down my indifference to God and let His Word grow ROOTS (ROOTS!) in my soul.

Please keep me in your prayers. Advice needed …

 

[Edward_H]

God seeks union with us. And He’s invented many ways to accomplish this divine union, not just in heaven but today, now.

One way is Holy Communion.
Another way is Sacramental Confession ( a reunion if you will)

Another way is with sincere personal prayer, like you just shared with us above.

Another way is by the virtues, for instance with humility, which you also just gave us a marvelous example above.

Another way is by “beginning again and again”.

You’re on your way to holiness, up the inclined plane with the rest of us.

Struggle is good and necessary; it spurs new growth in us, so we can become more useful to God; He is always trying to work in us, making us better instruments of salvation, helping us be “part of the net” to catch other fish of His.

Growing hurts. Struggle and smiling in our struggle is good.

 

[Dan_Defender]

Patience gains all things. Holiness is a process and nobody said it would be easy. Have a strong faith and develop new good habits to replace the old ones.

 

[guanophore]

I am really tired of my chronic habitual sins which do not give me peace. I find it even more troubling and disgusting when my will knows what is good but my flesh falls easily in face of temptation.

Gosh, you sound just like St. Paul in Romans 7!

Very often I do not follow my daily routine and disorder starts to creep into my life, culminating in sins.

This is a common human ailment. We were designed to be active, productive and engaged with others and our world. When we don’t have a daily routine we naturally decay into disorder.

I’m not even brave enough to change - sometimes I think I’m a hopeless sinner and I’m too lazy to even change.

This seems like a curious thing to say. Why would you need to be “brave” to change?

The truth is we are all hopeless sinners, which is why we need Christ. After describing this same struggle in Romans 7, St. Paul gives the only solution (Rom. 8:1).

Without grace, we can never become the persons God intends us to be.

if I don’t take the initiative, God can hardly move me towards His direction.

This seems to be backwards to me. It reminds me of that old saying that is found nowhere in the Bible “God helps those who help themselves”. On the contrary, God helps the helpless, and those who are unable to initiate. Everything comes from, through, and because of His grace. We follow the initiative of the Holy Spirit within us.

I want perfect contrition. I know I am guilty by my will even though my flesh disagrees.

It is a good ideal and prayer, but it is not required in order for change to occur.

sometimes I’m not sure if God’s forgiveness comes at too cheap a price.

If this is the case, then you are not understanding that it was Jesus who paid the price on the cross. We cannot earn or deserve God’s forgiveness.

I feel sad and miserable.

Living a victorious life is not based on emotions, but upon Truth. A person who is absolved must act and proceed as an absolved person, regardless of feelings.

But I want to melt down my indifference to God and let His Word grow ROOTS (ROOTS!) in my soul.

Your post does not reflect the soul of a person indifferent to God, but one who is engaged in the struggle between the Spirit and the flesh. This struggle does not occur in a person who is “indifferent”.

As far as the Word of God growing roots, this is also the yearning of a person who wants to know God, and walk in His ways. Daily Scripture will definitely help.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It might help to stop thinking in terms of “sins” and start thinking in terms of “habits I need to change”, since it seems like there is some habitual behavior leading you into whatever sin this is.

It’s like when you’re dieting and you engage in this big battle of will over whether to eat cookies you have in the house. Might be better to develop some new habits, like you don’t keep cookies in the house and you buy fruit instead, or you find some reason to be out of the house during prime cookie temptation time.

 

[joeybaggz]

As Pope Francis said, I don’t want to treat the Confessional as self-service laundry, but I really can’t pretend that nothing has happened and lead a normal routine unless I am absolved and I do penance, so I have no choice but to go to Confession as soon as possible even before I think of the punishment of Hell or perfect love for God. When I am wrong, go to Confession for first aid.

However, every week I fall. I feel sad and miserable. But I want to melt down my indifference to God and let His Word grow ROOTS (ROOTS!) in my soul.

Please keep me in your prayers. Advice needed …

As it has been said, “the church is a field hospital for the wounded” The fight against evil and sin is a lifelong battle that we can not win on our own. Simply look at a crucifix to understand that. I’ve been in that battle for over 60 years, and you know what, if you stay faithful, if you maintain the attitude you pose, it get’s easier. And the more you invest in prayer and asking Christ to strengthen you, it comes about, usually gradually. You are making a mistake to think that one day, you will wake up and be perfect. Instantly, Overnight. It doesn’t work that way, to label yourself a failure because you are not meeting an unrealistic goal, is spiritual suicide. Every great saint of our church, has identified himself as a sinner. They are all with you in your fight. Believe it, and find positive ways to view you life and that which is good and pleasing to the Father.

 

[Reuben_J]

Yes, we fall many times. It is a matter of picking us up again every time we fall, again and again, and again, and again.

We are truly blessed to have the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Do make use of this Sacrament, not only for the forgiveness of sins but as a healing grace as well.

Yes, it is true, the mind is willing but the flesh is weak, which causes us to fall. I am not going to tell you how you can overcome that. You will eventually find out yourself if you have not known already. Just to emphasise the forgiveness of God and that God helps us when we ask Him to help. If it does not happen, we have to persevere with what we have - God’s graces in the Sacraments.

God bless.

 

[MichaelAnonymous]

Every effort to refresh our soul requires much courage to sacrifice what we used to have, confess our weaknesses, act according to God’s will and adapt to God’s plan.

 

[TheLittleLady]

but sometimes I’m not sure if God’s forgiveness comes at too cheap a price

The price was the incarnation, torture, death, burial and resurrection of Christ.

What greater price could there be?