Members of CAF who are/were gay, homosexual, or SSA now living Chastely

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mitex,
hi,
I don’t know how old you are, but the term “gay” is not synonymous
with having SSA but living chastely.

The term “gay” was coined by the godless media and by homosexual radicals
as a EUPHEMISM to describe the sexually-active homosexual lifestyle and those
who PRACTICE it openly and boldly.

I don’t know who in COURAGE you have had this bad experience with, telling you
that you can’t be “homosexual” (i.e. be sexually attracted to the same gender) yet be
chaste. I have never heard anyone from that group say that. Yes, they do try reparative therapy. For many people, it does not work. For some others, it does. I don’t know why it works for some and not for others. But the point is that if the Holy Ghost WANTS TO, He ceratinly has the ABILITY to re-orient your sexual orientation.
IT MAY NOT BE HIS “ACTIVE” WILL TO DO THAT FOR A GREAT MANY PEOPLE.
The reason is, partly, that we are all expected to bear a cross or crosses in this life.
For some people, one of those crosses is homosexuality, same sex attraction.

But God did not “MAKE” you, or anyone, that way.
For THAT, we have our primordial First Parents to thank, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
back in Eden. Before they rebelled, and sinned, there was perfect body/soul/psyche
harmony and the passions were not disordered and were subject to our souls and wills and they had complete mastery over those things.
Ever since the Fall, however long ago it was, whether thousands or tens of millions, of years ago, that body/soul harmony does not exist. In ANY of us. EVERYONE is disordered in some way. Some have anger issues, for no rational reason.
Some are heterosexual but go after anything in a skirt and have a nearly impossible time controlling their impulses. Others have to deal with Same Sex Attraction.
Others find themselves attracted to BOTH sexes. Some find themselves attracted
to what is Unspeakable and know that unless they want to become real bottom feeders, they had better restrain THOSE urges. Some, who didn’t restrain those urges, have now caused the Catholic Church a lot of trouble and RUINED the lives of many once-innocent little children. Then there are those, like Adolf Hitler, who are into the equally sick and weird things (( he was a copryphile, a two-faced bisexual, incestuous, and, apart from Eva Braun, with whom it is doubtful that they ever consummated their “marriage,” he is known to have slept with 4 women in total, 2 of whom were near relatives, and all four of them committed suicide. That’s quite a track record: EVERY woman you ever
slept with killed herself. Wow. )) Those (politically-minded radicals) who try to say that God “made” people homosexual or whatever, are ignoring the reality of the Fall and in fact are blaspheming by saying such things. That is a slander. He ALLOWED and continues to allow, the results of the Fall to occur in all people in different ways, and those things are part of our crosses to bear.

People who don’t suffer from SSA and have to endure it chastely,
should not be so self-righteously critical of those who do.
It is a very painful cross to bear and one that is incredibly easy
to fall under the weight of. Very much compassion and understanding are in order
for SURE.
Much peace to you,
Jaypeeto4
+JMJ+
 
Dear Jlaug,
I see your painful dilemma.

But people who really, profoundly, “love” each other will not willfully
engage in behavior, even to please the other person, that might result in
the person’s spiritual and eternal destruction. True love isn’t powerful affection
(as great as that can be) but an altruistic, disinterested 100% concern for the other person’s temporal and spiritual GOOD.
It is not “good” for us to misuse each other’s bodies,
even if we DO have tremendous affection and love for each other.
So to choose the good, we have to (painful as it will be) reject what
is harmful to the other person and to us, even if it “feels” right when we do it.
We can’t go by feelings. Feelings are often very deceitful.
After confession, I often feel, very strongly, still condemned,
but I know that that is not the case. But it sure FEELS like it.

I’d suggest reading a good comprehensive overview of JPII’s THEOLOGY OF THE BODY by, I think his last name is West ((someone please help out here)).
He explains why and how the human body is actually sacred and a temple of God literally and why we have to respect the proper “use” of all the parts of that temple.
It’s not just a matter of legalistic “thou shalt” and “thou shalt nots.” The commandments and the sexual laws have eternal Divine Wisdom and Reasons behind them.

Do not beat yourself up.
Pray for your current partner, for her conversion, repentance, chastity, and salvation.
Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet for her and for you. REPEATEDLY, daily.
Put yourself on prayer lists. Enroll in the Seraphic Mass Association, and enroll her.
seraphicmass.org – a perpetual enrollment is only $5.00 plus $1.00 for the enrollment card to be mailed to you or whoever.
But don’t beat yourself up: your decision to serve the LORD
is in no way, not at all, hers or anyone else’s real reason for rejecting the LORD and the faith. People do that on their own, ultimately. I can blame a bad childhood (which I had), cultic brainwashing (which I had for 30 years with all the horrible paranoia it produces), I can blame being bullied at school, I can blame other people’s treatment of me, and all of it is true, but I can blame them all for my rejection of God but you know what?
Even though all that horrible stuff REALLY happened to me, and IS “extenuating” circumstances, the ultimate true responsibility, if I actually finally reject God,
is MINE. My responsibility alone. The same with your partner. If she ultimately decides to do THAT, friend, that is not your fault at ALL. And to say it is would, for once,
be a REAL example of that often mythical “Catholic Guilt.”
Much peace to you, and to her,
as you both journey toward the LORD Jesus Christ and His House.
Jaypeeto4
+JMJ+
 
mitex,
hi,
I don’t know how old you are, but the term “gay” is not synonymous
with having SSA but living chastely.

The term “gay” was coined by the godless media and by homosexual radicals
as a EUPHEMISM to describe the sexually-active homosexual lifestyle and those
who PRACTICE it openly and boldly.

I don’t know who in COURAGE you have had this bad experience with, telling you
that you can’t be “homosexual” (i.e. be sexually attracted to the same gender) yet be
chaste. I have never heard anyone from that group say that. Yes, they do try reparative therapy. For many people, it does not work. For some others, it does. I don’t know why it works for some and not for others. But the point is that if the Holy Ghost WANTS TO, He ceratinly has the ABILITY to re-orient your sexual orientation.
IT MAY NOT BE HIS “ACTIVE” WILL TO DO THAT FOR A GREAT MANY PEOPLE.
The reason is, partly, that we are all expected to bear a cross or crosses in this life.
For some people, one of those crosses is homosexuality, same sex attraction.

But God did not “MAKE” you, or anyone, that way.
For THAT, we have our primordial First Parents to thank, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
back in Eden. Before they rebelled, and sinned, there was perfect body/soul/psyche
harmony and the passions were not disordered and were subject to our souls and wills and they had complete mastery over those things.
Ever since the Fall, however long ago it was, whether thousands or tens of millions, of years ago, that body/soul harmony does not exist. In ANY of us. EVERYONE is disordered in some way. Some have anger issues, for no rational reason.
Some are heterosexual but go after anything in a skirt and have a nearly impossible time controlling their impulses. Others have to deal with Same Sex Attraction.
Others find themselves attracted to BOTH sexes. Some find themselves attracted
to what is Unspeakable and know that unless they want to become real bottom feeders, they had better restrain THOSE urges. Some, who didn’t restrain those urges, have now caused the Catholic Church a lot of trouble and RUINED the lives of many once-innocent little children. Then there are those, like Adolf Hitler, who are into the equally sick and weird things (( he was a copryphile, a two-faced bisexual, incestuous, and, apart from Eva Braun, with whom it is doubtful that they ever consummated their “marriage,” he is known to have slept with 4 women in total, 2 of whom were near relatives, and all four of them committed suicide. That’s quite a track record: EVERY woman you ever
slept with killed herself. Wow. )) Those (politically-minded radicals) who try to say that God “made” people homosexual or whatever, are ignoring the reality of the Fall and in fact are blaspheming by saying such things. That is a slander. He ALLOWED and continues to allow, the results of the Fall to occur in all people in different ways, and those things are part of our crosses to bear.

People who don’t suffer from SSA and have to endure it chastely,
should not be so self-righteously critical of those who do.
It is a very painful cross to bear and one that is incredibly easy
to fall under the weight of. Very much compassion and understanding are in order
for SURE.
Much peace to you,
Jaypeeto4
+JMJ+
Wow, thanks for the completely un-helpful lecture on sexual ethics and the comparison to Adolf Hitler. I don’t care who coined the term “gay” or what’s the politically correct word to use on this forum. All I know is that I am a homosexual and always have been since puberty. I have never been to Courage nor any other reparative therapy. Exodus International, one of the biggest Christian reparative therapy groups in the US, has only a 15% success rate. And of that 15%, many of them still remain attracted to the same sex. I’m not going to try and “re-orient” my attractions because I don’t believe it works. I’ve seen too many “re-oriented” people go off and start families only to have their marriages fall apart later. I would never condemn any man to a marriage with a woman who doesn’t enjoy making love to him, nor would I have children within a union that is prone to falling apart. I don’t know why I’m attracted to the same sex, but if I decide to live chastely, it will either be by myself or, if I’m lucky, within a chaste partnership like one David Morrison (Courage’s founder) has. But I certainly will NOT try to pull some poor, unsuspecting man into my mess of a situation.
 
Dear Jlaug,
I see your painful dilemma.

But people who really, profoundly, “love” each other will not willfully
engage in behavior, even to please the other person, that might result in
the person’s spiritual and eternal destruction. True love isn’t powerful affection
(as great as that can be) but an altruistic, disinterested 100% concern for the other person’s temporal and spiritual GOOD.
It is not “good” for us to misuse each other’s bodies,
even if we DO have tremendous affection and love for each other.
So to choose the good, we have to (painful as it will be) reject what
is harmful to the other person and to us, even if it “feels” right when we do it.
We can’t go by feelings. Feelings are often very deceitful.
After confession, I often feel, very strongly, still condemned,
but I know that that is not the case. But it sure FEELS like it.

I’d suggest reading a good comprehensive overview of JPII’s THEOLOGY OF THE BODY by, I think his last name is West ((someone please help out here)).
He explains why and how the human body is actually sacred and a temple of God literally and why we have to respect the proper “use” of all the parts of that temple.
It’s not just a matter of legalistic “thou shalt” and “thou shalt nots.” The commandments and the sexual laws have eternal Divine Wisdom and Reasons behind them.

Do not beat yourself up.
Pray for your current partner, for her conversion, repentance, chastity, and salvation.
Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet for her and for you. REPEATEDLY, daily.
Put yourself on prayer lists. Enroll in the Seraphic Mass Association, and enroll her.
seraphicmass.org – a perpetual enrollment is only $5.00 plus $1.00 for the enrollment card to be mailed to you or whoever.
But don’t beat yourself up: your decision to serve the LORD
is in no way, not at all, hers or anyone else’s real reason for rejecting the LORD and the faith. People do that on their own, ultimately. I can blame a bad childhood (which I had), cultic brainwashing (which I had for 30 years with all the horrible paranoia it produces), I can blame being bullied at school, I can blame other people’s treatment of me, and all of it is true, but I can blame them all for my rejection of God but you know what?
Even though all that horrible stuff REALLY happened to me, and IS “extenuating” circumstances, the ultimate true responsibility, if I actually finally reject God,
is MINE. My responsibility alone. The same with your partner. If she ultimately decides to do THAT, friend, that is not your fault at ALL. And to say it is would, for once,
be a REAL example of that often mythical “Catholic Guilt.”
Much peace to you, and to her,
as you both journey toward the LORD Jesus Christ and His House.
Jaypeeto4
+JMJ+
Thank you. I don’t think that I could convince her to do the seraphic mass thing with me. She’s not Catholic and after seeing me struggle with this issue (which has resulted in lots of depression and crying and days without eating), she really doesn’t want to be. And how could I blame her? Not even I want to be Catholic right now. Even now I don’t understand completely WHY our physical relationship is bad. Our sex isn’t exploitative or objectifying, it won’t result in deformed offspring or family rifts. It’s done within the context of love and commitment. I don’t understand why we are called to live a life without physical affection while my infertile cousin gets to enjoy sex with her husband. Don’t bother telling me about God’s design for sex and all that. I’ve heard it all a million times so there’s nothing new you could possibly tell me. I just pray I get hit by a bus before I’m forced to leave this girl I love. If I have to be alone, I hope God will at least have the decency to make life short.
 
Thank you. I don’t think that I could convince her to do the seraphic mass thing with me. She’s not Catholic and after seeing me struggle with this issue (which has resulted in lots of depression and crying and days without eating), she really doesn’t want to be. And how could I blame her? Not even I want to be Catholic right now. Even now I don’t understand completely WHY our physical relationship is bad. Our sex isn’t exploitative or objectifying, it won’t result in deformed offspring or family rifts. It’s done within the context of love and commitment. I don’t understand why we are called to live a life without physical affection while my infertile cousin gets to enjoy sex with her husband. Don’t bother telling me about God’s design for sex and all that. I’ve heard it all a million times so there’s nothing new you could possibly tell me. I just pray I get hit by a bus before I’m forced to leave this girl I love. If I have to be alone, I hope God will at least have the decency to make life short.
Bless your heart. What a terribly confusing dillemma for you.
Rest assured, God is calling you and will be with you forever. Don’t despair.
I will keep you in my prayers.
 
Now, if you want a campaign for a “gay” Catholic to be canonized you should probably start the campaign for Henri Nouwen.
I’m not sure I understand you’re statement about Henri Nouwen with the gay in quotations. Are you saying that Nouwen lived a gay lifestyle? I’ve never read any evidence that he practiced homosexuality. I have read that he expressed a struggle with SSA.
Nouwen was a tremendous priest and teacher. The only surving video I’ve seen of him is this 8 part sermon:

youtube.com/watch?v=SFWfYpd0F18
 
I’m not sure I understand you’re statement about Henri Nouwen with the gay in quotations. Are you saying that Nouwen lived a gay lifestyle? I’ve never read any evidence that he practiced homosexuality. I have read that he expressed a struggle with SSA.
Nouwen was a tremendous priest and teacher. The only surving video I’ve seen of him is this 8 part sermon:

youtube.com/watch?v=SFWfYpd0F18
No, I was talking about him being same sex attracted and that he might be a model for those people in the Church as he did follow the teachings.
 
I am male, 32 years old. I am just now beginning to deal with the issue of same-sex attractions in my life. Coincidentally, I am also considering becoming Catholic.

As an adolescent, I remember being attracted to people of both sexes, though same-sex attractions were more emotional than physical. Coupled with the attractions I had a sense of gender inferiority (thinking I was not as manly as my peers).

By the time I hit college, I had become more and more obsessed with femininity and started to think of myself as effeminate. I still found women attractive and wanted to date them, but I rarely acted on these impulses. It was like there was a war going on in my mind regarding my sexual identity, but I rarely let people in to discuss the issue with me. Eventually I started experimenting with same-sex behavior over the phone, and one of these conversations turned into an actual meeting.

As God began to work in my life through classes I was taking in college and books I was reading, I had a strong desire to repent of the course I was on. When I finished college I broke ties with most of my friends and decided I was going to do whatever it took to return to the “straight self” that I thought I must have originally been.

When I got involved with an evangelical church, I thought I would be in the clear on the issue forevermore. However, same-sex attractions had a way of manifesting themselves in my relationships, and eventually got me into some trouble. When I had become emotionally dependent on one of the pastors in the church I was working with, I had no choice but to confess my struggles.

That brings me about to where I am today. I know I have been attracted to women, but my confidence in my ability to be a husband is at about zero. I would like to be friends with a woman, but it seems that opposite-sex friendships are pretty much a “no-no” in the conservative Christian world. My relationships with men are hampered because of the lingering issues of same-sex attraction and the sense that I don’t always quite fit in with the guys.

It might be wise to see a counselor or therapist or to join a support group at this point, but I’m not. I am wondering if it would be best to pursue a course of trying to manage the same-sex issues while developing a greater facility in my relationships with women or if I should prepare to be single and celibate my whole life. Furthermore, there is some confusion about if I should stay mostly “in the closet” or if I should go “out of the closet.” A therapist or a support-group might be able to help with these things, but I am glad for this message board here where I can fellowship with like-minded souls.

In Christ,
Dan
 
I’m a Catholic with same sex attractions who is living chastely. Making this sacrifice is a small way I can show my profound love for Jesus; a way to show Him that I’m willing to put God above all my pleasures. This is my crown of thorns.

In this Youtube video, MIchael Voris does an excellent job of explaining what it means to be Catholic and Homosexual:

youtube.com/watch?v=K0sILSapUUc
 
Dan, I find this statement heartbreaking:
I would like to be friends with a woman, but it seems that opposite-sex friendships are pretty much a “no-no” in the conservative Christian world.
They shouldn’t be a no-no in any world. As a straight woman, I KNOW that I need opposite-sex friendships and wish – have always wished – that men and women, in adolescence and throughout adulthood, could feel freer to develop these strong friendships without any sexual pressure accompanying them. It’s an unfortunate by-product of a sexually conscious culture, i.m.o.

I think we suffer when we limit our opposite-sex relationships to those with romantic expectations. Neither romance nor marriage itself should reduce, let alone eliminate, our previous non-romanticized friendships – even for those of us whose spouses are or have been our very best friends as well. Friendships with both sexes help us grow and support us in our various journeys in life.
 
I’m a Catholic with same sex attractions who is living chastely. Making this sacrifice is a small way I can show my profound love for Jesus; a way to show Him that I’m willing to put God above all my pleasures. This is my crown of thorns.

In this Youtube video, MIchael Voris does an excellent job of explaining what it means to be Catholic and Homosexual:

youtube.com/watch?v=K0sILSapUUc
Thank you for this. It really helps.
 
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