Memorial celebratin question

[aaceves]

Hello,
First Post
Recently, my mother in-law passed at the age of 70 . My wife and her sibling (fallen away Catholics) are making arrrangements. My mother in-law was batptized italian catholic and (I believe) had receicved all her sacraments. The arrangements that are being made are to have a memorial at the home of the deceased . My wife and sibling have decided to have a non Catholic pastor (family friend /in law of sibling) to read scriputues and have the eulogy. I repectfully and strongly suggested to have a Catholic priest at this memorial to add to the memorial. The suggestion was declined. My wife and sibling believe that mother in law was not close enough to church as she had not attended mass for quite some time ( at least 10 years). Also wife and sibliings feel the family friend pastor was close to the deceased and thus it would be more appropriate.to have him do readings and eulogy. They also feel that having a priest and the family friend pastor might set environment uneasy. These are not my thoughts and I have tried to repectfully tried to change there minds. I do not want add tention to an already sorrowful situation.but I want to do what is right for my fellow catholic. Any ideas/suggestions?. (Sorry for any typo’s)

 

[CRW]

Hello,
First Post
Recently, my mother in-law passed at the age of 70 . My wife and her sibling (fallen away Catholics) are making arrrangements. My mother in-law was batptized italian catholic and (I believe) had receicved all her sacraments. The arrangements that are being made are to have a memorial at the home of the deceased . My wife and sibling have decided to have a non Catholic pastor (family friend /in law of sibling) to read scriputues and have the eulogy. I repectfully and strongly suggested to have a Catholic priest at this memorial to add to the memorial. The suggestion was declined. My wife and sibling believe that mother in law was not close enough to church as she had not attended mass for quite some time ( at least 10 years). Also wife and sibliings feel the family friend pastor was close to the deceased and thus it would be more appropriate.to have him do readings and eulogy. They also feel that having a priest and the family friend pastor might set environment uneasy. These are not my thoughts and I have tried to repectfully tried to change there minds. I do not want add tention to an already sorrowful situation.but I want to do what is right for my fellow catholic. Any ideas/suggestions?. (Sorry for any typo’s)

At this point in time I would suggest that you offer special Mass intentions for her at your Church. As many suggest, the more the better. God Bless

 

[jbuck919]

First, condolences on your bereavement.

The presence of a priest will not change the fate ot the dead. Follow the suggestion in the previous post, is my best recommendation.

My own dear mother, 86, is a Catholic with a long history of non-attendance. She picked this up from her own mother, a French Canadian who also never went to church. She still considers herself a Catholic but is not asking for a Catholic funeral service when she dies. In these days I doubt I could find a priest who would be willing to do it in the first place. I have to think my mother will be judged on the basis of her great goodness and devotion within limitations that seemed to make sense to her, whereas I have many reasons to think that, though I have remained faithful to the church in a technical sense I deserve never to get out of purgatory, not to state something stronger. There is no rhyme or reason to these things, nor is there supposed to be.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

My father-in-law, 84, came back to the Church through Confession & Annointing of the Sick literally minutes before he died on the operating table. He had cancer, and in his funeral plans requsted just the Rite of Comittal with specifically a priest as officiant. Wife #4/5 (we’re not sure), the widow, devised her own plan which did include the Rite of Comittal, but also included her “thing” including some New Age stuff. She did not want to share the funeral with her two stepchildren.

My husband and I planned a Memorial Mass for my f-i-l at a later date a few months later, with a luncheon/ family reunion after Mass. My husband was very glad he did it. Extended family who could not afford to transport themselves to the funeral were given the opportunity to pay their respects, esp. older folks who don’t travel long distances well. My husband had the opportunity to honor his father and commend his father’s soul to the Lord. And we had food after the Mass, and it was darn good food, too!