Memorials are popping up everyone on our city streets

[blaskoman]

I can spot at least 5 permanent memorials on road sides throughout my city. Its very sad when one dies in a car crash, often times its a young life cut short. So memorials springs up on the road side to mark where a loved one has died. One sees balloons, flowers, stuffed animals, ribbons etc. I can understand if such memorials stood for a month or two, but it seems that most of these road sides memorials have been visible for years. Is this a proper way to mourn? Shouldn’t the family of the accident victim grieve at a cemetery instead? I sympathize with their loss, but such memorials are becoming ubiquitous and eye sores. Why does the City tolerate such memorials as permanent fixtures?

 

[Starrsmother]

I have no answer as to why they are left up so long–I agree that they become eyesores at best and in some cases even a little bit of a hazard. Having said that, I think they’re left up so long for perhaps 2 reasons. Firstly, it’s a reminder to every driver who sees one that someone died at the spot–so drive carefully, don’t drink and drive, speed, etc. The 2nd might be because while they may well become an eyesore to us, they are NEVER an eyesore to the family who lost a loved one. If the city pulled one down, they would probably be eaten alive in the press.

 

[robwar]

I can spot at least 5 permanent memorials on road sides throughout my city. Its very sad when one dies in a car crash, often times its a young life cut short. So memorials springs up on the road side to mark where a loved one has died. One sees balloons, flowers, stuffed animals, ribbons etc. I can understand if such memorials stood for a month or two, but it seems that most of these road sides memorials have been visible for years. Is this a proper way to mourn? Shouldn’t the family of the accident victim grieve at a cemetery instead? I sympathize with their loss, but such memorials are becoming ubiquitous and eye sores. Why does the City tolerate such memorials as permanent fixtures?

It might be hard to understand road side memorials if one never has had a sudden loss due to an accident. People grieve in different ways and sometime it may take years and may never heal from the loss, especially if the person is a parent and the loved one is their child. I guess I never see them as an annoyance because at that spot someone died. I also take them a a reminder to drive carefully because even in seemly innocent areas, someone loss their life. When I see road side memorials, I say a pray for who ever put it up and that they find God and healing. Maybe you should use memorials to pray for more compassion and understanding of others and pray for the families involved. Maybe then, you won’t see them as eye sores but reminder that there are a lot of hurting people out there that need love and healing.

 

[Khalid]

But isn’t the very act of noticing the memorial distracting from the concentration required for safe driving and therefore, in those locations where the memorials are, and are noticed, more likely (no matter how marginally more likely) to have an accident, with the distraction of the memorial being a contributing (no matter how marginally contributing) factor? It seems ironic in an especially self-defeating way (the fact that the memorials can be distracting is proved by the fact that the above posts exist, and the fact that distraction contributes to traffic accidents is self-evident).

 

[Skye_Ariel]

I’ve seen those memorials a lot where I grew up and one road had that memorial there ever sice I could remember till the day I moved. Family members kept putting it up there right on the side of the road where I assume someone must have had an accident.

I have no opinion of it one way or another. I see nothing wrong with memorials Different people grieve in different ways and if those memorials help some with the grieving I don’t think it hurts anything. It’s not like they are on every street corner on ever single road.

 

[Skye_Ariel]

But isn’t the very act of noticing the memorial distracting from the concentration required for safe driving and therefore, in those locations where the memorials are, and are noticed, more likely (no matter how marginally more likely) to have an accident, with the distraction of the memorial being a contributing (no matter how marginally contributing) factor? It seems ironic in an especially self-defeating way (the fact that the memorials can be distracting is proved by the fact that the above posts exist, and the fact that distraction contributes to traffic accidents is self-evident).

No more distracting than billboards and signs on business designed to catch people’s eye.

 

[Deus_tecum]

I’ve seen them on sidewalks where someone got shot to death (usually someone in the drug business). Burnt out heaps of melted candles, filthy rain soaked stuffed animals and sympathy cards, and balloons half deflated. That’s not much of a memorial if you ask me.

 

[colmywaykurtz]

But isn’t the very act of noticing the memorial distracting from the concentration required for safe driving and therefore, in those locations where the memorials are, and are noticed, more likely (no matter how marginally more likely) to have an accident, with the distraction of the memorial being a contributing (no matter how marginally contributing) factor? It seems ironic in an especially self-defeating way (the fact that the memorials can be distracting is proved by the fact that the above posts exist, and the fact that distraction contributes to traffic accidents is self-evident).

One could, with equal validity, call for a ban on billboard advertising along city streets. And they aren’t fulfilling any spiritual need for bereaved family members.

 

[Phemie]

I’ve seen them on sidewalks where someone got shot to death (usually someone in the drug business). Burnt out heaps of melted candles, filthy rain soaked stuffed animals and sympathy cards, and balloons half deflated. That’s not much of a memorial if you ask me.

These are the kind of things I’m picturing from the OP post. To me those are nothing but an eyesore and on a city street, quite distracting.

OTOH, permanent memorials are erected here almost everywhere that someone has died in a car accident. As we drive along we can see everything from a simple cross (the most common) to statuary (the Blessed Virgin is favoured by a local ethnic group) to a granite grave marker complete with name and picture of the woman by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.

I grew close to a small mountain in NB. Two women died falling off that mountain in 1924. Someone at the time painted two crosses on the rock face and to this day, 90 years later, people climb that mountain on a regular basis to repaint the crosses.

 

[Nimzovik]

All I know is that I still pray for those people of those memorials when I see them. Often I start to generalize and pray for others that have met tragic ends. This can not be a bad thing.

One memorial I was there for when it happened. I can still hear the very little boy cry for his deceased mother.

 

[GEddie]

It may be cultural.

In my town and the surrounding countryside, it is normal for crosses, etc, to mark the spot where someone has died by auto wreck (unless of course it happens at a major intersection). It is not considered an eyesore at all, but a reminder to safe driving and to pray for the souls involved.

The markers often remain for weeks. However, in town, they may be maintained longer. Some five years ago, a young girl drowned when her family’s car was swept up by flooding. IMS, the marker is still there. She is gone, but in that subdivision, not forgotten.

Other roadside crosses at the edge of town have stood until the road was widened. Where there is more than one, they further serve as a warning of potential hazard.

The custom of putting up roadside crosses is even the subject of one country song (“3 Wooden Crosses” – artist’s name escapes me). It’s been a practice for many years.

GOD Bless and ICXC NIKA.

 

[Phemie]

The custom of putting up roadside crosses is even the subject of one country song (“3 Wooden Crosses” – artist’s name escapes me). It’s been a practice for many years.

GOD Bless and ICXC NIKA.

Off topic but your comment about the song brought a smile.

Our drama club put on a Country Tribute show a few years ago and that was one of the songs they sang. One member, who is deaf and does not always wear her hearing aids,
heard/misheard/misinterpreted the song and was enraged and ready to march back and forth in front of the stage with a sign that read “Give the hooker her cross too!”

 

[Deus_tecum]

If any of you do put up a cross along the road, put it up on the fence or on a tree. Don’t put it in the middle of the grass where large tractor mowers have to maneuver around it. Have some consideration. That was one of the issues in my city. People wanted to put up the crosses and then have the govt maintain them for free.

 

[GEddie]

If any of you do put up a cross along the road, put it up on the fence or on a tree. Don’t put it in the middle of the grass where large tractor mowers have to maneuver around it. Have some consideration. That was one of the issues in my city. People wanted to put up the crosses and then have the govt maintain them for free.

Here, it is understood that the city/ state, etc, will not maintain them. Such monuments are normally sited under trees or on fence lines where nothing is interfered with.

ICXC NIKA

 

[Mikeydell]

They can also serve as an unconscious reminder to drivers that accidents and fatalities can/do happen regardless of who’s at fault so be careful driving.

 

[LovedMyAlydar]

Perhaps because so many have no faith in God, that in the secular world it’s things that matter the most, so putting things like balloons, toys, candles, etc there helps them to deal with their grief.

I would say a prayer and have some masses said for the deceased, but that is me.

 

[jmcrae]

I can spot at least 5 permanent memorials on road sides throughout my city. Its very sad when one dies in a car crash, often times its a young life cut short. So memorials springs up on the road side to mark where a loved one has died. One sees balloons, flowers, stuffed animals, ribbons etc. I can understand if such memorials stood for a month or two, but it seems that most of these road sides memorials have been visible for years. Is this a proper way to mourn? Shouldn’t the family of the accident victim grieve at a cemetery instead? I sympathize with their loss, but such memorials are becoming ubiquitous and eye sores. Why does the City tolerate such memorials as permanent fixtures?

We have funerals and grave yards for the purpose of providing a place for people to vent their grief. It is because people have decided that it is “too old fashioned” to do things the traditional way that we have these things popping up everywhere. Having gotten rid of the traditional grieving process, they have no place to put their grief, and so it pops up in inappropriate places.

 

[GEddie]

We have funerals and grave yards for the purpose of providing a place for people to vent their grief. It is because people have decided that it is “too old fashioned” to do things the traditional way that we have these things popping up everywhere. Having gotten rid of the traditional grieving process, they have no place to put their grief, and so it pops up in inappropriate places.

The marking of a place where someone died is hardly “inappropriate,” though it may be culturally out of place in North America.

Back when belief in ghosts was common, it was the place where the person lived or died that was expected to have the ghosts. Going to such places to aid their “passage” made sense, rather than to the grave, where the deceased was never a living human being.

Also, the use of physical objects in such commemorations is very old. It is in no way a result of modern secularism; it was done in Egyptian tombs and in different cultures ever since.

If anything, it reaffirms the inherent physicality of the human being, in contrast to current religious Christo-Platonism.

ICXC NIKA

 

[jmcrae]

The marking of a place where someone died is hardly “inappropriate,” though it may be culturally out of place in North America.

Back when belief in ghosts was common, it was the place where the person lived or died that was expected to have the ghosts. Going to such places to aid their “passage” made sense, rather than to the grave, where the deceased was never a living human being.

Also, the use of physical objects in such commemorations is very old. It is in no way a result of modern secularism; it was done in Egyptian tombs and in different cultures ever since.

If anything, it reaffirms the inherent physicality of the human being, in contrast to current religious Christo-Platonism.

ICXC NIKA

Even the Egyptians kept their dead away from the main highways, and had “cities” for them away from everyday commerce.

 

[robwar]

Even the Egyptians kept their dead away from the main highways, and had “cities” for them away from everyday commerce.

There is nothing wrong in honoring the spot where someone met a tragic end. The attitude that commemorating someone’s death has to be hidden away in some cemetary is cold hearted and says “don’t bother me about your loss, go to some isolated cemetary so I don’t have to know about it”. When I see road side crosses, I get the chance to pray for someone and their pain. They are not any more distracting than billboards which have words to read and in fact memorials often only need the simipliest of glances. They are reminders to drive safely. It is rather narrow minded and cold to think that people should grieve in a limited way at just a cemetary which is very isolated and lonely.