Memorials are popping up everyone on our city streets

[robwar]

Even the Egyptians kept their dead away from the main highways, and had “cities” for them away from everyday commerce.

These memorials are not burial places. The comparison to Egyptians keeping their dead away in separate cities has nothing to do with people making a public statement that they lost someone dear at this spot in a tragic accident.

 

[Skye_Ariel]

It may be cultural.

In my town and the surrounding countryside, it is normal for crosses, etc, to mark the spot where someone has died by auto wreck (unless of course it happens at a major intersection). It is not considered an eyesore at all, but a reminder to safe driving and to pray for the souls involved.

The markers often remain for weeks. However, in town, they may be maintained longer. Some five years ago, a young girl drowned when her family’s car was swept up by flooding. IMS, the marker is still there. She is gone, but in that subdivision, not forgotten.

Other roadside crosses at the edge of town have stood until the road was widened. Where there is more than one, they further serve as a warning of potential hazard.

The custom of putting up roadside crosses is even the subject of one country song (“3 Wooden Crosses” – artist’s name escapes me). It’s been a practice for many years.

GOD Bless and ICXC NIKA.

Yeah I was thinking of crosses and things like that as memorials, I’ve seen the stuffed animals and candles but those kind are usually gone after a few weeks. Even the memorial where the congress woman Gabrielle Giffords got shot in Tucson, (which is like 2 blocks from where I live and thank God I wasn’t shopping at Safeway that day!) is gone, the stuffed animals are and things like that are gone, but permanent markers are there. When it first happened there were tons of stuffed animals and cards and candles etc there. The little 9yr old girl that was killed that day, Christina-Taylor Green, was a member of my Parish too. But some of the markers are permanent and they are like crosses and things that won’t look yucky after some time. After it happened people were outside the store doing real nice charitable things for people, one woman gave me a whole bunch of loaves of bread and said she owned a bakery and wanted to give the bread to people and told me to give some to people I know etc. People were really nice.

I’ve seen them on sidewalks where someone got shot to death (usually someone in the drug business). Burnt out heaps of melted candles, filthy rain soaked stuffed animals and sympathy cards, and balloons half deflated. That’s not much of a memorial if you ask me.

Okay I see what you mean about those kinds of markers. Those are usually cleaned up after a few weeks, I was thinking more of crosses and permanent type markers that don’t look yucky over time.

 

[jmcrae]

Yeah I was thinking of crosses and things like that as memorials, I’ve seen the stuffed animals and candles but those kind are usually gone after a few weeks. Even the memorial where the congress woman Gabrielle Giffords got shot in Tucson, (which is like 2 blocks from where I live and thank God I wasn’t shopping at Safeway that day!) is gone, the stuffed animals are and things like that are gone, but permanent markers are there. When it first happened there were tons of stuffed animals and cards and candles etc there. The little 9yr old girl that was killed that day, Christina-Taylor Green, was a member of my Parish too. But some of the markers are permanent and they are like crosses and things that won’t look yucky after some time. After it happened people were outside the store doing real nice charitable things for people, one woman gave me a whole bunch of loaves of bread and said she owned a bakery and wanted to give the bread to people and told me to give some to people I know etc. People were really nice.

Okay I see what you mean about those kinds of markers. Those are usually cleaned up after a few weeks, I was thinking more of crosses and permanent type markers that don’t look yucky over time.

So is there a role for Christian grave yards, then? And what about those whose loved ones die in hospital? Would it be appropriate to put a grave marker on the bed in which they died so that every stranger who sleeps in that bed can share in one’s grief? If not, then what’s the difference? Why is it okay to clutter up the roads and highways with grave markers, but not the other places where people die?

 

[MessyMom]

We have funerals and grave yards for the purpose of providing a place for people to vent their grief. It is because people have decided that it is “too old fashioned” to do things the traditional way that we have these things popping up everywhere. Having gotten rid of the traditional grieving process, they have no place to put their grief, and so it pops up in inappropriate places.

In the dominate culture of my area, placing a cross and small memorial IS the traditional way to grieve. It is just the way it is here.

If there is a memorial in the middle of an area that the city maintains, then the city will remove it and the family will find another location to place it (on a light pole for example). Since grass is a rare sight around here, mowing is rarely needed. Anything with stuft animals and baloons and candles are generally gone aftera couple weeks, but the cross remains forever. I have lived here 20 years, almost 21, and can tell you which crosses have been around since that time.

Honestly, it’s never a big deal around here. And I know most people, even the caffeteria Catholics and Evangelicals say a prayer as they pass one.

 

[Allegra]

I’ve often seen them along the interstate, but I’ve never seen them in the city streets. I doubt they’d be allowed to stay for long, if someone did organize one. Sometimes, when a person dies tragically, there is a memorial set up on private property, but with the property owner’s permission. They usually aren’t permanant though. I don’t have a problem with any of it though.

 

[GEddie]

I’ve often seen them along the interstate, but I’ve never seen them in the city streets. I doubt they’d be allowed to stay for long, if someone did organize one. Sometimes, when a person dies tragically, there is a memorial set up on private property, but with the property owner’s permission. They usually aren’t permanant though. I don’t have a problem with any of it though.

We do have them on the streets here. I saw one today that had been there for awhile; it was attached to a cyclone fence beside the road. I imagine the fence owners were ok with it.

Ten miles away, the marker for the girl who drowned in a flooded crossing stands at the creek edge, some yards from the road or anybody’s house. Presumably these will remain until there is a need to use the land.

In other places, where the wreck has taken place e.g. next to a school, the marker has stood for a few weeks then been cleared up.

ICXC NIKA

 

[andrewstx]

It may be cultural.

In my town and the surrounding countryside, it is normal for crosses, etc, to mark the spot where someone has died by auto wreck (unless of course it happens at a major intersection). It is not considered an eyesore at all, but a reminder to safe driving and to pray for the souls involved.

The markers often remain for weeks. However, in town, they may be maintained longer. Some five years ago, a young girl drowned when her family’s car was swept up by flooding. IMS, the marker is still there. She is gone, but in that subdivision, not forgotten.

Other roadside crosses at the edge of town have stood until the road was widened. Where there is more than one, they further serve as a warning of potential hazard.

The custom of putting up roadside crosses is even the subject of one country song (“3 Wooden Crosses” – artist’s name escapes me). It’s been a practice for many years.

GOD Bless and ICXC NIKA.

In my part of Texas it started as a latino “thang” and spread quickly to everyone. Personally I think the memorials are in poor taste, but no-one asked me.

I do approve very much of a memorial to a young girl who died in an accident due to texting while driving, hopefully at least some will put their cell phones down and pay attention.

I am old enough to remember a time cell phones didn’t exist, not even answering machines were invented. If you weren’t home you missed a call and we all even survived!

 

[umgriz932001]

In my state, there is an organization (i don’t remember which) that maintains all the Crosses on the roads. They are white on a sturdy metal pole about two-three feet tall. You can always tell when it was an anniversary if that person’s death, because flowers usually show up, but for the most part there is just the white cross on the pole. I don’t find it distracting and we have lots and lots on our roads, even in cities. Having a memorial up for those ordinary people is no different than the memorials we have for dead presidents, warriors and the like. Some places have those memorials in their cities where people drive past them. Why do only “famous”/“special” people get memorials? Are those that died any less special? Also in the hospital where my children were born, they have a wall with the names of the babies who died at the hospital. Names and dates on brass hangers standing out from a wall so that it all forms a tree. It is moving to look at. In another area you can have your loved added to a list on their wall. I don’t know how long they stay for, but they have a list. So even though the bed or er where they dead isn’t marked, they are there on a list to be remembered. Just a side note, not everyone puts up those markers on the road. Just the ones that want to.

 

[andrewstx]

I forgot to mention the pickup truck memorials. People will cover the whole back windows of their trucks with memorials.

But my town has got to have a first, a memorial coffee shop/café. It’s called the Corporal Ray memorial. It’s covered in pictures of Ray who was killed in Iraq. Since it’s the only place in town to get and espresso or latte, they do a booming business.

 

[Cojuanco]

Well, the practice is not that different from roadside shrines in many majority Catholic countries. I personally do not see too much of a problem, given that they encourage us to pray for the poor unfortunate souls who die on our roads.

Also, for the burnt out candles bit, perhaps it’s the most they can afford, especially in the working-class districts of towns. Grave markers are pretty expensive.

 

[GEddie]

Well, the practice is not that different from roadside shrines in many majority Catholic countries. I personally do not see too much of a problem, given that they encourage us to pray for the poor unfortunate souls who die on our roads.

Also, for the burnt out candles bit, perhaps it’s the most they can afford, especially in the working-class districts of towns. Grave markers are pretty expensive.

:thumbsup

As a child in VZ, and later in MX, I saw some rather elaborate roadside markers. Here in the USA, such are far simpler (seldom more than the wooden cross)

ICXC NIKA