Men and Strip Clubs

[TLM08]

I’m a guy. I’m 27. I’m single.

I mention this because I just want to point out that I struggle with temptations concerning sex and sexuality – but I just don’t get strip clubs. I don’t understand why men go to strip clubs.

I’ve been to strip clubs. I used to frequent them, but I stopped when I decided to live in a more Christian manner. Plus, I came to the realization that those poor girls who danced and performed pseudo-sexual acts were really quite unhappy, sad, and alienated. To see a girl dancing, with guys swarming around her, throwing money at her is a pitiful sight, I must admit, but then to sit down and talk to her, to hear about her lonely childhood, and how her boyfriend doesn’t really love her, and how she has a hard time feeding her kids, that’s when you get to know how isolated these girls are.

Am I wrong?

And yet there’s a cult developing here at the office. It’s a cult almost solely devoted to the strip club. The highlight of these married men’s life seems to be going to the local strip club. There hasn’t been a single week in months where I haven’t heard someone saying, “Yeah, boy, they got some good lookin’ meat up at the club now! Let me tell you!”

It seems like such an empty existence to me now, though I must admit that I, at times, feel like I’m missing out on something big given all the ruckus and hooplah which they cause on their return. It’s like I just missed the Cubs winning the World Series, or something.

Even though I’ve been there, and given that I’ve done that, I now can no longer understand why a group of grown men would frequent strip clubs so often.

I am almost 50 years old and unfortunately, my sinful flesh enjoys looking at things I shoudln’t. From a morality standpoint, I am certainly no prude but for the life of me, I never understood the idea of putting myself in a position to become sexually aroused in the company of my “buddies”.

Whether or not it’s kept in a sacramental marriage, sex is a very private thing… at least in my opinion. What really bothers me is that porn is fast becoming mainstream activity in our society.

 

[Methodi]

I am almost 50 years old and unfortunately, my sinful flesh enjoys looking at things I shoudln’t. From a morality standpoint, I am certainly no prude but for the life of me, I never understood the idea of putting myself in a position to become sexually aroused in the company of my “buddies”.

Whether or not it’s kept in a sacramental marriage, sex is a very private thing… at least in my opinion. What really bothers me is that porn is fast becoming mainstream activity in our society.

You can say that again, in the area where I live, about every 4 or 5 miles u can find a pornshop,& U never see any of them going out of business

 

[Serap]

This is my theory, but I think that there are a good number of men out there that have family values and are not off to the strip club with the guys. I’d put myself on a whim and say that it’s 50/50 with men - half are good boys and half are bad boys.

Because our society and we as humans tend to focus on the negative, we begin to see that “all men” are going to strip clubs, viewing porn, etc, when in reality, it’s more like 50%.

My husband is a “good boy” and he doesn’t frequent strip clubs and sees them as being stupid and a waste of money. Sure he checks out women…what man doesn’t Not all men cross the line of morality and head off to the strip joints or cheat on their wife, etc.

We see the bad boys more because they stand out in a crowd. They have more exciting stories to tell

 

[Epistemes]

This is my theory, but I think that there are a good number of men out there that have family values and are not off to the strip club with the guys. I’d put myself on a whim and say that it’s 50/50 with men - half are good boys and half are bad boys.

Because our society and we as humans tend to focus on the negative, we begin to see that “all men” are going to strip clubs, viewing porn, etc, when in reality, it’s more like 50%.

My husband is a “good boy” and he doesn’t frequent strip clubs and sees them as being stupid and a waste of money. Sure he checks out women…what man doesn’t Not all men cross the line of morality and head off to the strip joints or cheat on their wife, etc.

We see the bad boys more because they stand out in a crowd. They have more exciting stories to tell

I think the statistic would fluctuate with age, marital status, and a number of other factors. I can see the number of 18-34 year olds viewing porn and being in attendance at strip clubs being higher than the 50-66 age range. Regardless, I don’t think it’s just the pessimism of humanity which causes us to focus on a select few and universalize it. As other have said, this type of behavior is not only becoming mainstream but also acceptable. I mean, c’mon, when even non-homosexual women are even in attendance at strip clubs (with their boyfriends and husbands), something has been suggested so strongly that it’s altered the perception of that sex which ought to be most offended!

 

[Serap]

I think the statistic would fluctuate with age, marital status, and a number of other factors. I can see the number of 18-34 year olds viewing porn and being in attendance at strip clubs being higher than the 50-66 age range. Regardless, I don’t think it’s just the pessimism of humanity which causes us to focus on a select few and universalize it. As other have said, this type of behavior is not only becoming mainstream but also acceptable. I mean, c’mon, when even non-homosexual women are even in attendance at strip clubs (with their boyfriends and husbands), something has been suggested so strongly that it’s altered the perception of that sex which ought to be most offended!

This behaviour is acceptable to some, but not most. Most of the women I know and associate with would see red if they new their boyfriend/husband went to a strip joint.

Nothing has changed in our society. Brothels and orgies and always existed and have been very available since the beginning of time.

 

[Newbie2]

Even as a geologist, I have to admit that a nice rock formation is not as pretty as a woman.

I would hope not.

I got “yelled” at today by one of these “outstanding married men” because I didn’t know that UNC is playing against Duke tomorrow night!

That’s another thing…it’s very sad when guys like whom you describe have a need that has to be fulfilled by going to a strip club, but there’s also that subset of men who are, methinks, seriously addicted to sports.

I dunno what may be missing in their lives to devote themselves to such things, although sports in moderation, methinks, is an OK endeavor.

Sad. Life is short enough not to experience so many other wonderful things…and they go to strip clubs and weave their lives around ESPN and who’s playing who on any particular night.

 

[Serap]

According to the book, Together Forever A Catholic Guide to Marriage by Gregory Popcak, couples usually split at around 10 years if they don’t have a solid partnership.

Methinks that a man who is too much into sports and goes to strip clubs will find his wife serving him divorce papers eventually. She will only put up with so much until she’s done with his behaviour.

A man in a partnership marriage would have enough respect for his wife and children to not spend his money on a naked woman or spend less time with his family so he can watch sports.

The sad thing is that only 7% of marriages fall in the partnership category according to this book.

 

[Dtmccameron]

Because women are fearfully and wonderfully made

The form of an attractive, physically fit woman (or man I guess) can reveal the beauty of God’s creation much more than any plant or geological formation.

The temptation to possess this beauty and use it for ones own pleasure (concupiscence) is stronger for some than others. Have you ever heard the term “porn” used for things desired that weren’t sexual or salacious in nature? I used to sometimes look at sports car “porn” (pictures of expensive cars that I liked but couldn’t / wouldn’t have) or gun “porn” (pictures of firearms that I liked but couldn’t / wouldn’t have).

I like the alternate usage of the term not because it diminishes the depravity of pornography but because it highlights the uselessness of material desires.

I like the way you use it because it shows lust to be what it really is, an objectification of a human being. Just as one man longs for a sports car, or a…gun, just as he drools over these objects, these things, so to does the man who drools over the half naked (or fully so) lady, for he doesn’t see her as a human being, as the OP says in his post, “Meat” is what they’re reduced too.

Men! These are not chunks of meat! They are not simply bodies! They are not hunks of flesh out to satisfy your every desire and whim, and satiate your infernal lust! These are women! These are your sisters!!!

Father Gregory has been speaking to us lately. He says, “The Catholic church is not either or, it’s both and.”

So these people see themselves, quite truly, as wretched things, unlovable things. But they of course are not JUST that, no, they are both sinner and Child of God, who made them wonderfully, and loves them dearly.

And the reason people make any bad decision is because, I feel, they’ve abandoned reason, or, they are acting with a faulty view of reality.

 

[Shannon9791]

I’m a guy. I’m 27. I’m single.

I mention this because I just want to point out that I struggle with temptations concerning sex and sexuality – but I just don’t get strip clubs. I don’t understand why men go to strip clubs.

I’ve been to strip clubs. I used to frequent them, but I stopped when I decided to live in a more Christian manner. Plus, I came to the realization that those poor girls who danced and performed pseudo-sexual acts were really quite unhappy, sad, and alienated. To see a girl dancing, with guys swarming around her, throwing money at her is a pitiful sight, I must admit, but then to sit down and talk to her, to hear about her lonely childhood, and how her boyfriend doesn’t really love her, and how she has a hard time feeding her kids, that’s when you get to know how isolated these girls are.

Am I wrong?

And yet there’s a cult developing here at the office. It’s a cult almost solely devoted to the strip club. The highlight of these married men’s life seems to be going to the local strip club. There hasn’t been a single week in months where I haven’t heard someone saying, “Yeah, boy, they got some good lookin’ meat up at the club now! Let me tell you!”

It seems like such an empty existence to me now, though I must admit that I, at times, feel like I’m missing out on something big given all the ruckus and hooplah which they cause on their return. It’s like I just missed the Cubs winning the World Series, or something.

Even though I’ve been there, and given that I’ve done that, I now can no longer understand why a group of grown men would frequent strip clubs so often.

I’m not much older than you, and so I know tons and tons of guys who practically take up residence in strip clubs.

In my own going out days, I never saw the point of going to these places. I always kinda figured that the dancers were like car salesmen, only after your money. I did like to go to bars and meet girls, but I figured if I met a girl in a bar, I at least had a decent opportunity to get her phone number, whereas you never know if the stripper is only being nice to you because you’re paying her to be. It seems like such a waste to me. A waste of your money, and a waste of her good looks.

 

[Shannon9791]

One more thing, a little off topic, but I promise that you could never ever possibly miss the Cubs winning the World Series. After 101 years, I’m sure all 6.5 billion people on Earth would find out pretty quick if it happened.

 

[JimG]

Men and strip clubs?
Wait a minute–what about women and Chippendales?
Ever see how women act at those male stripper events?

 

[The_Stig]

No…have you?!

 

[cdfost]

I’ve been to a strip club a couple of times. They can be fun, and the women I know who work there actually enjoy their jobs. To hear them say it; they set their own schedules, make decent money, and get to do something the enjoy anyway.

Being a male, I do enjoy the daughters of Eve and how exquisitely they are made. I no longer partake in strip clubs, and I think they are not great places to develop a closer relationship to God.

 

[The_Stig]

Wow, way to take stand.

 

[Holly3278]

Strip clubs appeal to some men at least partly due to the fact that strip clubs arouse men. The activate the sin of lust in a man. Men like to be aroused. Unfortunately, strip clubs are responsible for some of the sins of many people. Personally, if I was married, I would have a major problem with my husband going to a strip club just as he would have a major problem with me hiring a male stripper (I would hope he would have a major problem with that anyway.). Also, I wish that strip clubs weren’t legal but they are and that is just something that us American Catholics have to deal with. I think that strip clubs violate obscenity laws personally. That is one reason why I wish they would be outlawed.

 

[JimG]

No…have you?!

No. I was hoping somebody could tell me.

 

[JimG]

a nice rock formation is not as pretty as a woman.

Not only a true statement, but perhaps an apt logo for a tee shirt for geologists and others.

For Valentine’s Day, however, I would not recommend using the language:
“Honey, you are really prettier than a rock formation!”

 

[Serap]

I’ve been to a strip club a couple of times. They can be fun, and the women I know who work there actually enjoy their jobs. To hear them say it; they set their own schedules, make decent money, and get to do something the enjoy anyway.

Being a male, I do enjoy the daughters of Eve and how exquisitely they are made. I no longer partake in strip clubs, and I think they are not great places to develop a closer relationship to God.

I have known women in the past who were strippers and while they said that they like it…it’s a mask for the sadness they really feel inside. When I got to know them better, I realized that they had problems with substance abuse, self-worth, and dignity. They were really miserable, but knew how to put on a happy face. All of them were from poor upbringings - some kind of neglect or abuse as a child.

Of course a stripper will tell you she enjoys it b/c if she admits that she hates it, it makes her look weak and she becomes vulnerable. These women have coated themselves with external armour b/c they are hurting inside and they don’t want you to know it.

It’s the same as a single person saying, “I don’t need a man. I love being single.” when it’s a cover-up for loneliness and they dont’ want to seem vulnerable or needy.

 

[Epistemes]

In my own going out days, I never saw the point of going to these places. I always kinda figured that the dancers were like car salesmen, only after your money.

the stripper is only being nice to you because you’re paying her to be. It seems like such a waste to me. A waste of your money, and a waste of her good looks.

This reminds me of the South Park episode titled “Raisins.” In the episode, the boys visit a Hooters-style restaurant called “Raisins” where young girls work (in skimpy outfits, mind you). Butters falls head over heels for one of the girls, Lexus, who flirts with him, but you immediately pick up that it’s the girls’ job to flirt with all the boys because it’s a form of marketing – and, sure enough, every time Butters wants to go on a date with Lexus she says, “I’m sorry, honey, I’ve got to work, but you could come down here to Raisins to see me!” And he does…and blows all his money on food just for a chance to be flirted with by Lexus.

Same logic as strip clubs, I think.

 

[Shannon9791]

This reminds me of the South Park episode titled “Raisins.” In the episode, the boys visit a Hooters-style restaurant called “Raisins” where young girls work (in skimpy outfits, mind you). Butters falls head over heels for one of the girls, Lexus, who flirts with him, but you immediately pick up that it’s the girls’ job to flirt with all the boys because it’s a form of marketing – and, sure enough, every time Butters wants to go on a date with Lexus she says, “I’m sorry, honey, I’ve got to work, but you could come down here to Raisins to see me!” And he does…and blows all his money on food just for a chance to be flirted with by Lexus.

Same logic as strip clubs, I think.

It is, and Hooters would be a fun place to go if they actually served good food. I will admit that I’ve been there a few times to watch a football or basketball game, but the food there leaves much to be desired. It’s still the same premise as a strip club though, the girls are only nice to you because you’re paying them. One time I went there, my friend and his girlfriend went along, and our waitress gave us horrible service, but the table behind us that was only men got great service. The reason is that she wasn’t able to flirt with my friend as much because he was with his girlfriend.