Men Are Weaker!?

[Lexee15]

Why does it seem like it’s “okay” for men to behave badly? Morally speaking who’s resposibility is it to teach men what marriage vows are? Don’t get me wrong I know that there are women who behave badly…but I’m not talking about that, women are expected to know and live their vows if they don’t they are whores, sluts, loose, etc.

It seems that every woman I talk to, especially older women have the attitude that men cheat…there’s no getting around it. I cannot accept that :nope: !!! That there are no faithful men and those that are around are 1 in 10,000 …good luck finding that one. Who tells men to be good human beings? Obviously it’s not addressed enough in pre-cana, it doesn’t sink in. Do we just accept that men are weaker therefore deal and accept their bad behavior?

Is it the mother’s job, the father’s job to instill respect, loyalty, fidelity, and just plain good moral and values? I have a son and it scares me to death to think he will one day treat the woman in his life like his father has treated me. What needs to happen to raise upstanding young men, men of good, men of God, men of respect?

What makes it so easy for a man to have an affair…that they won’t get pregnant, that they won’t be labeled, that it’s expected of them??? Since when, why is it that I can understand my vows but not my husband, why did I know that when I united my life with him my single life ended, and I was okay with that…I knew what was expected of me…I may not have been the best wife, but I was new at it and I was trying.

Who will take resposibility for the terrible behavior of men, are they just the weaker sex?

 

[Fred_1]

I’m in the processing of finishing God’s Gift to Women. I recommend you give this book to every man you meet. Well maybe not every man, but family, friends etc. It really helped me to realise just how distorted men’s view on the world is! Do not settle for less with a man! He is completely capable to be a loving caring “warrior-poet!” (to quote the book). Unfortunately, society today is taught that men are pigs, and we as men get away with it. It’s not right. Men are supposed to be morally strong and religious leaders, not pigs. Like I said, the book is really good. I recommend it to any man.

PS. As for your worries with your children… Listen to Dr. Ray! Lots and lots of Dr. Ray! He’s the greatest!

 

[movingmom]

I am so sorry for the OP’s hurt feelings towards men. It is very unfortunate. I don’t think all men can be labeled as pigs - just some, just like some women are pigs (I know a few of them). I think it’s a matter of what that person finds acceptable. If they find themselves in a group that condones acting like a pig, then they are in good company. I truly believe that every person can act responsibly, if they are held accoutable for their actions and surround themselves with positive role models. It is tough for some, to act in accord with what is proper when all they know is acting poorly. I would truly suggest you talk to a priest to find out specific ways to help your husband - he has problems, acting like a pig is not normal for anyone. Please also pray!

 

[psalm90]

Lexee15:

Is it the mother’s job, the father’s job to instill respect, loyalty, fidelity, and just plain good moral and values?

What needs to happen to raise upstanding young men, men of good, men of God, men of respect?

I think that every male needs to have a relationship with God that is appropriate to their age and understanding. It cannot be deferred at any age.

How often do you hear anyone talk about the “fear of God” which to a mature person should also be equivalent to saying the “love of God”?

There needs to be instilled a respect for every person, half of whom are the opposite sex. Socialization of children should not be left to chance. Good parental example is a tremendous start. When unfortunate incidents occur where a child learns the hard way that they have hurt someone else, then that lesson needs to be internalized and understood thoroughly.

Television is a lot of fake situations. I didn’t watch any episode of “Everybody loves Raymond” until the last episode. Now, I watch the show in re-runs. If I’m lazy enough, I can watch three episodes in a period of two hours. Ray and Debra seem to have a strong TV marriage, but in real life, Ray’s insensitivity probably would destroy a marriage in less than the nine seasons that the show ran. If not for the laugh track, most of the situations in the show would run in daytime as a dramatic soap opera. The redeeming feature of the show is that these characters seem to patch up their lives by the end of 30 minutes. If only life worked that way. The basis of the reconciliations in the show seem to be based on honesty. There are a few hints in the show that the characters are supposed to be in a Christian (Catholic) family.

If we concentrated in our families on making saints, then we might be better off generally, and in marriage in particular.

When St. Paul says that women should submit to their husbands, this, to me, is the equivalent of him saying that husbands should respect their wives. Those bases of marriage are easiest to fulfill when the husband and wife are striving actively to lead Christian lives. When that is so, it is no burden to submit or to show respect.

At the end of St John’s gospel he writes

21:25 There are also many other things that Jesus did, but if these were to be described individually, I do not think the whole world would contain the books that would be written.

Is that so? I think it is. If a couple looked into each other’s life to see what Jesus has done, what’s in their “book” so to speak, then they may do better than some do in basing their marriage on infatuation. In other words, if Jesus is in their life, then the problems Lexee15 describes might be less.

In marriage itself, their should be an active Christian life to build each other up as Christians, and each should expect to be rewarded in abundance for that effort. Perhaps there needs to be a renewal in the Lord to make progress in the marriage. We all have room for improvement.

It’s a good way to put it, men are weaker. I think that’s why men were chosen by God for leadership in the Church.They need to demonstrate goodness to each other and to talk to each other.

Priests don’t need to be psychologists, necessarily. In the first instance, they should just preach the Gospel and let God do the rest of the work. But, they should preach the whole Gospel, and concentrate on the aspects of Christian living in marriage, as needed.

 

[bogeyjlg]

G.K. Chesterton has been an inspiration to me in how I should act towards women. I also think the chivalry should be revived in some ways.

 

[jman507]

I’ll place alot of the blame on TV and premarital sex. You ask who is there to teach about vows, look around and you see a lot of stuff teaching against those vows.

When it comes to social skills and communication, I think men are much weaker than women in general. That gives men more of an advantage, cause the one who cares about the relationship the least is the one that is in control of the relationship.

There is also the difference in that women are the ones that get pregnant. Look at it this way, if you had any two people start a business, and one took the equal burden of the women and the other took the burden of the man, more of the supporting role, I’d think it’d be the one who was more tied to the business that would have a stronger attachment to it. Combine that with some extra biological support of hormones, and you’ve got a pretty strong bond. The man is far weaker in realizing what is going on.

About labels, I think for women it is worse, becuase they care more about those relationships. Inorder to feel shame you must feel that you must have some way failed to hold your part of the responsibility in some way. Those lables would be more like jokes if you don’t see the responsabilty. But why should men care, as you say those women already expect them to cheat.

This whole equality & free love movement has really hurt women. Women are nothing that one needs to inspire himself up to. A woman that’ll hold a man accountable up for what he can be, is the best thing a man can get. For your son, first off he needs to find a woman that’ll do that. Second off, he needs to treat her as if she is that way, for when she feels like giving up. It needs to be mutual. It can be a circle down or a circle up.

But isn’t it good for men to feel free from this responsabililty? I don’t think so. When you never learn how to do anything but use people, you will never truely learn joy, sorrow and glory. You’ll never learn how great intimacy and solidarity are.

 

[FdeS2]

I have heard and read some interesting things about the role of men and how society affects men’s behaviors. For example, I’ve read that since the feminist movements, men have been portrayed (more and more) as pigs, slobs, jerks, and/or idiots, among other things. How many shows on TV have a father figure who is intelligent, compassionate, loving, supportive, and faithful? I don’t know of many. Since this is what males of all ages have been viewing on television, this is what those males aspire to. Of course, this is not universally true. I major aid in the fight for decent men would be the clean-up of television. We need to get rid of all promiscuous characters and replace them with virtuous, upstanding, faithful ones. But how?
Just something to think about. Who agrees? Any suggestions?

In Christ,
FdeS2

 

[mumto5]

I don’t think it’s easier for men to cheat than women. Surveys don’t put men and women far apart in the number that cheat on their spouses. There are lots of good men out there. Primarily I see it as the woman’s responsibility. Fortunately, I know lots of good teenage boys out there who are growing up speaking of waiting for marriage and being faithful, etc. I’m sorry the OP has had such unfortunate experiences with men that she’s so disillusioned with them as a group.

 

[Courtneyjo]

The “boys will be boys” attitude is old, and feminists now say that girls can be boys too. So we’re left with some men acting like irresponsible children and some women acting like irresponsilbe men who are acting like children.

Good role models are essential, with Jesus being the ultimate role model. Then Dad is next. Children notice if Daddy is protective of Mommy and if Mommy is okay with that. They notice how Mommy expects to be treated by Daddy, and how she treats him in return. Boys and girls learn from both parents. Without a Dad, the Mom can still show her sons how women should be treated, and her daughters how men should treat them. Furthermore, she can emphasize honesty and help them grow emotionally. Spiritual and emotional immaturity are rampant in society. Back to paragraph one, adults acting like children.

There are great men out there for women, and there are great women out there for men. The key is to overlook the superficial, and to conform one"s life to Christ instead of jumping on society’s bandwagon.

 

[Courtneyjo]

psalm90:

Television is a lot of fake situations. I didn’t watch any episode of “Everybody loves Raymond” until the last episode. Now, I watch the show in re-runs. If I’m lazy enough, I can watch three episodes in a period of two hours. Ray and Debra seem to have a strong TV marriage, but in real life, Ray’s insensitivity probably would destroy a marriage in less than the nine seasons that the show ran.

We watched this show enough to see that there were more problems than that. Debra often treated Ray like a child, was rude to him and belittling. Many sit com shows are like this. The men are shown no respect, but make a good target. My husband would get very upset about the show, and looking through his eyes I was able to understand. Debra stood no chance of showing Ray how to treat her, what with all her cutting remarks. There are two sides to a relationship.

I digress; this is OT.

 

[ceceswa]

mumto5:

I don’t think it’s easier for men to cheat than women. Surveys don’t put men and women far apart in the number that cheat on their spouses. There are lots of good men out there. Primarily I see it as the woman’s responsibility. Fortunately, I know lots of good teenage boys out there who are growing up speaking of waiting for marriage and being faithful, etc. I’m sorry the OP has had such unfortunate experiences with men that she’s so disillusioned with them as a group.

I’m sorry, but where do you live? I would really like to move there if there are so many great guys. Unfortunetely, I have had a lot of the same experiences that the OP has had and I am inclined to agree with her. I don’t believe that she is disillusioned at all. I think that you have found the exception to the rule, which I think is great if it’s true, but at the same time I wonder if you may be the one that is disillusioned. I’m not trying to be insultive, I just would like to understand better where you’re coming from, because I would truly like to be there too.

 

[Lexee15]

mumto5:

I don’t think it’s easier for men to cheat than women. Surveys don’t put men and women far apart in the number that cheat on their spouses. There are lots of good men out there. Fortunately, I know lots of good teenage boys out there who are growing up speaking of waiting for marriage and being faithful, etc. I’m sorry the OP has had such unfortunate experiences with men that she’s so disillusioned with them as a group.

I certainly didn’t mean to sound bitter, it is not my intention because I am not. I know there are great men out there, I’ve seen them, worked with them, assiciated with them…so I by no means am saying all men are bad…I refuse to accept that notion. What I’m trying to say is that we still live in a society that expects men to act like that and that we as women must stand by our man and accept that “boys will be boys.” This was going on before the feminist movement, before so much television and sex ads and perfect models and playboy, which is why I mentioned how disheartened I was to hear this acceptance from older married women. It has been the younger ones who have told me not to put of with his s***, that I deserve better.

I do deserve better, but I wanted that better to be with my husband the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with. This doesn’t seem to be the case, he’s continuing with his multiple affairs, addictions and abandoning us in the process. I wish I knew where he learned that this is okay to do? Who’s repsonsibility was it to tell him NO, and when should it have been done to be effective? I don’t want my son to treat people as his father has.

Also, we are only recently seeing that’s it acceptable for women to act as disgusting as men, that I chalk up to feminism, but even today women still may deal with being looked at differently or not being accepted by other women if they have a reputation of being loose, or messing around with married men, etc. Women have had the same bad behavior since the beginning of time only not in the same numbers and certainly not accepted or expected of them as it has been with men!!!

Primarily I see it as the woman’s responsibility

What does this mean? What’s the women’s resposibility?

 

[cargopilot]

mumto5:

I don’t think it’s easier for men to cheat than women. Surveys don’t put men and women far apart in the number that cheat on their spouses. There are lots of good men out there. Primarily I see it as the woman’s responsibility. Fortunately, I know lots of good teenage boys out there who are growing up speaking of waiting for marriage and being faithful, etc. I’m sorry the OP has had such unfortunate experiences with men that she’s so disillusioned with them as a group.

Thank you, mumto5. You put it in a simple, yet very elegant way.

As someone who has NEVER ONCE cheated in 20 some years of marriage, but has seen, many times, those who do, I believe that there is the possibility that a cheating husband may be a symptom of something else. Let me offer some insight from a male point of view.

We are simple creatures, and perhaps, in many ways, weaker. Men have certain needs that only a woman can fulfill. Respect, good food and frequent marital relations almost always top the list. I have yet to see a marriage succumb to the husband’s adultery when those primary needs are being met at home. If a man truly feels his wife’s respect, enjoys her tasty meals and is rarely rebuffed when he requests the marital act, why would he ever feel compelled to look elsewhere?

I’m reminded of two different guys, one who has a sort-of chubby and plain looking wife who makes it her priority to give him respect, good food and good lovin’ whenever he wants it. They’ve been married for years and he would walk through hot coals for her. He would never cheat on her and absolutely adores her. He would defend her to his death and talks about her in the most loving way, constantly. To him, she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. His corny devotion to her is often joked about by the other crews.

The other guy’s first wife was beautiful. Her outward beauty made guys drool everywhere she went, but she was disrespectful and mean to him, often publically criticizing him. She refused to cook, saying that was beneath her, and according to him, VERY stingy with the good-lovin’, keeping him restricted to just a few times per month or less, and only then if ‘conditions’ were just right. Lo and behold, another female came along who thought a good-lookin’ and well paid senior pilot was worth respect, good food and good lovin’. She was no where near as beautiful as his first wife, but she made him feel good. After years of neglect from his first wife, he left her to marry the ‘other woman’. I’m told when she first saw the ‘other woman’, she was shocked to see she was nowhere as beautiful, and hatefully asked, “You’re leaving me for HER? What could you possibly see in this ugly pig?” Well, they married and are to this day very happy together. I hear his ex-wife has since married and divorced. I don’t think she ever got it.

My point is, I don’t believe the cheating husband is ALWAYS totally at fault. I really do believe the wife has near-total control over whether the husband falls into the sin of adultery, or not.

And by the way, that first guy…is ME.http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif

 

[deb1]

ceceswa:

I’m sorry, but where do you live? I would really like to move there if there are so many great guys. Unfortunetely, I have had a lot of the same experiences that the OP has had and I am inclined to agree with her. I don’t believe that she is disillusioned at all. I think that you have found the exception to the rule, which I think is great if it’s true, but at the same time I wonder if you may be the one that is disillusioned. I’m not trying to be insultive, I just would like to understand better where you’re coming from, because I would truly like to be there too.

It is strange but I have heard men say the same things about women. For example, women don’t want a nice guy. This isn’t true, of course.

I don’t know how decent people are able to overlook one another and head for the exact wrong person for themselves but this seems to be common.

I think that if every man you are coming across-or every woman if you are a guy- is a jerk then perhaps it is time to commit for some serious self examination. I have had both male and female friends, who consistently chose bad people to date and yet complained about the opposite sex for the pain that they suffered.

By the way, I have lived in Florida, Mississippi, Washington state, California, Iowa and NC. There are nice guys and sweet teenage boys in all these places, just as there are nice women and teenage girls in these places also.

 

[deb1]

Lexee15:

I.

Who’s repsonsibility was it to tell him NO, and when should it have been done to be effective? I don’t want my son to treat people as his father has.

?

Sadly, it will be your responsibliity to teach your son proper behavior toward women. Ideally, this is both parents’ role. A boy sees his mother being well treated by his father and he absorbes the lessons without even realizing that he is being taught.

It will be harder for you, but I know many single women who have raised boys to become good men. If you have a brother or father who is willing to give your son adult male attention that might help.

 

[1ke]

Well, here are some observations from me.

First and foremost, we must separate Church and Society. The Church preaches a counter-cultural message and always has.

The Church has always and everywhere taught marriage is a Sacrament, fidelity is an essential element, and premarital/extramarital relations are gravely sinful. We have countless Saints and Blesseds that are examples of living out the sacramental vocation as faithful witnesses to the gospel.

Society, from before Christian times down to today, teaches and preaches a different message. From age to age this message has had more or less influence on people. This message has historically been one of womanly piety and purity and male license.

The Church has always preached purity and piety for everyone. So, men should aspire to be Christlike, and women should aspire to be Christlike.

However, I would suggest that unique to this secular age is the idea that women should aspire to be like “men”… meaning free sex and commitmentless relationships (for example, Sex in the City women). So, society is teaching women to expect not only less of men, but less of themselves. It is simultaneously teaching men to expect less of women and less of themselves.

The Church continues to preach her original message, as always. But, few can hear it above the clanging of the bells of society’s false promises.

So, whose responsibility is it? It is the family and the Church’s responsibility to form godly men and godly women. And, as always it is each individual’s responsibility to accept Grace. Of course, everyone is free to reject it.

So, it comes down to Original Sin and whether we accept or reject Christ in our lives.

 

[Lexee15]

Well CargoPilot, good for you, you and your wife have been blessed with each other. I have not been so lucky, I have come know that my husband was having affairs BEFORE we married, is that my fault? Was it my duty to give him regular sex BEFORE we married? Was it my duty to cook and clean and live a married life BEFORE we married? Unfortunately, I did not know about this behavior otherwise I ASSURE you I would not have married this man. What about his addictions? Are those also my fault or resposibility? Was it not his obligation to tell me he had addictions to drinking, gambling and as I’m finding out probably sex also? I would think twice before you go blaming the woman for her husbands cheating!!! A responsible, respectful person will leave the marriage first before they break their vows, and put the spouse through unbearable pain!!! There is NEVER an excuse for cheating no matter how bad things are at home…you can always use the door and walk out!!! It is ultimately the person’s choice to be an adulterer or not, and they don’t have the right!!! And according to your story it seems to me that your now happy pilot did what all cheaters do…look out for their needs, wants and desires…in other words selfishness. If the wife was how you protray her to be, that’s too bad, but I’ll use your own words there are two sides to every story…and you may not have all the facts since I doubt she ever told you what was going on!!! I can tell you this also, that I’m sure she bahaved this way before they got married, and he chose vanity, the beautiful wife until it wasn’t working for HIM anymore!!! My husband has other children from other women, he led me to believe that he was ready for a family life and that he made mistakes, etc, etc. I believed him and accepted him with his past and baggage, because I love him and I wanted a family also with him. He never let me see the side I’ve seen since we married, so don’t you DARE make assumptions that I in some way am responsible for his terrible behavior!!!

 

[LSK]

Lexee15:

Why does it seem like it’s “okay” for men to behave badly? Morally speaking who’s resposibility is it to teach men what marriage vows are? Don’t get me wrong I know that there are women who behave badly…but I’m not talking about that, women are expected to know and live their vows if they don’t they are whores, sluts, loose, etc.

It seems that every woman I talk to, especially older women have the attitude that men cheat…there’s no getting around it. I cannot accept that :nope: !!! That there are no faithful men and those that are around are 1 in 10,000 …good luck finding that one. Who tells men to be good human beings? Obviously it’s not addressed enough in pre-cana, it doesn’t sink in. Do we just accept that men are weaker therefore deal and accept their bad behavior?

Is it the mother’s job, the father’s job to instill respect, loyalty, fidelity, and just plain good moral and values? I have a son and it scares me to death to think he will one day treat the woman in his life like his father has treated me. What needs to happen to raise upstanding young men, men of good, men of God, men of respect?

What makes it so easy for a man to have an affair…that they won’t get pregnant, that they won’t be labeled, that it’s expected of them??? Since when, why is it that I can understand my vows but not my husband, why did I know that when I united my life with him my single life ended, and I was okay with that…I knew what was expected of me…I may not have been the best wife, but I was new at it and I was trying.

Who will take resposibility for the terrible behavior of men, are they just the weaker sex?

Hopefully the parents raising the male children will take responsibility … and the young girls who start to date the boys will take responsibility and stop being willing to put up with just about anything in order to say they have a boyfriend and a date on Saturday night. Hopefully women will stop ignoring all the signs of bad behavior and poor character that are RIGHTTHEREINFRONTOFOURFACES before we walk down the aisle with a man, and then act surprised when they are exactly what they were before they took their vows AFTER they took their vows.

Unless we, as women, are willing to make the Holy Trinity the center of our lives and live a life that is walking towards Heaven, how can we possibly expect to attract men who want that kind of woman as their wife and the mother of their child?

The hardest thing I have ever had to do as a woman is do a thorough and complete moral inventory of my life and see all of MY part in what happenned to me…take full responsibility for the mistakes I made and the choices I made and the dopey men I let into my life.

I do not in any way shape of form take responsibility for what they did…however, they would not have been in my life in the first place if I had been an obedient daughter of the Holy Mother Church…mostly because I would not have been living the kind of lifestyle that would have put these morally corrupt men in my path.

Having said that, I did fall prey to a con man and sociopath when I was 8 years sober and had turned my life around…however, because I was living a better life and closer than ever to God I was able to survive the heartache and the fleecing …and I mean FLEECING…and from that evil came great good.

I know how incredibly overwhelming evil can feel…but I also know how I can have a big ol’ part in letting it into my life.

I remember being in a 12 step meeting one morning. A newcomer woman was really complaining about her ex-boyfriend, how mean he had been to her that morning, how he had yelled at her and called her names…“Oh my God!”, her sponsor said, in sympathy. “How did he get into your house?”.

 

[cargopilot]

Lexee15:

He never let me see the side I’ve seen since we married, so don’t you DARE make assumptions that I in some way am responsible for his terrible behavior!!!

Dear Lexee15,

I was speaking in general. I never meant any direct reflection on you, personally. I was just pointing out that adultery is not always the husband’s fault. Sometimes the wife simply has to share at least a glimmer of the blame and she could be, at least part of the solution. So perhaps, in your case, it IS all his fault and you are the victim. It is not beyond comprehension that he hid all his faults so cleverly that you, or any other reasonable person, could not have detected them, but there must’ve been something in him you found attractive, because you picked him.

For those who find themselves in an intolerable marriage, even if through no fault of their own, could they focus less on the blame and seek solutions? Dear Lexee15, I pray you can find it in your heart to forgive your husband’s monsterous behavior and seek solutions. Maybe, there’s a chance that it is you, with God’s help, could be better than your dreadful husband. I understand now that you are in no way responsible for your husband’s behavior, but could you try to rise above his many, many faults, go above and beyond to save your marriage?

Truly, I meant you no harm. I’m just a lowly sinner who was offering an opinion. If I offended you by implying you had some fault in your situation, I am sorry, and ask your forgivness. I do have a great marriage and over the years, have seen many marriages fail. I’m no marriage expert, but I do try to learn from experience, and that of others.

 

[Lexee15]

cargopilot:

Dear Lexee15,

I was speaking in general. I never meant any direct reflection on you, personally. I was just pointing out that adultery is not always the husband’s fault. Sometimes the wife simply has to share at least a glimmer of the blame and she could be, at least part of the solution. So perhaps, in your case, it IS all his fault and you are the victim. It is not beyond comprehension that he hid all his faults so cleverly that you, or any other reasonable person, could not have detected them, but there must’ve been something in him you found attractive, because you picked him.

For those who find themselves in an intolerable marriage, even if through no fault of their own, could they focus less on the blame and seek solutions? Dear Lexee15, I pray you can find it in your heart to forgive your husband’s monsterous behavior and seek solutions. Maybe, there’s a chance that it is you, with God’s help, could be better than your dreadful husband. I understand now that you are in no way responsible for your husband’s behavior, but could you try to rise above his many, many faults, go above and beyond to save your marriage?

Truly, I meant you no harm. I’m just a lowly sinner who was offering an opinion. If I offended you by implying you had some fault in your situation, I am sorry, and ask your forgivness. I do have a great marriage and over the years, have seen many marriages fail. I’m no marriage expert, but I do try to learn from experience, and that of others.

I understand, and admit I was a little hurt and upset to read your post since I feel I’ve done alot to save this marriage…but I realize you don’t know the situation and were just offering an opinion, I’m sorry if I sounded so upset. I have forgiven my husband, I forgave him soon after I found out about his affairs the first time which was in early August, let me also say that while I was having our child he brought these women into MY home. He couldn’t even respect our home!!!

I forgave him because it was the right moral thing to do, I did it for me, for him and for my child, I knew that I couldn’t save my marriage and not forgive him, I had to put the resentment, hatred and bitterness aside for all of our sakes and I did. I continued to work on the marriage because he said he wanted his family to work, he lied, now I’m pregnant again because of this false reconciliation on his part and now I find that he’s still seeing the same women and new ones…he is seeing at least three or four women.

I searched for solutions, he wouldn’t be part of them, I can’t carry a marriage by myself, and I didn’t get married to share my husband with other women…it’s not pride, it’s plain protection…I cannot live a marital life with someone knowing I could be infected with an STD or Aids. He is not interested in being married, he wants the perks of marriage without the obligations, he wants to continue to live as a single person.

The reason I started this post was to get insight on how I could keep my son from being like his father especially since there won’t be a father figure around for him to set a good example. My husband’s father died when he was about 5 years old, but from what I hear he is behaving just as his father did and he didn’t even grow up with him!!! Do you see my worry about my children?