Men threatened by smarter women? Really?

[white_sheep]

I would prefer to date a female who is less intelligent than I am. God designed us males to be leaders. It is impractical to lead those who are more intelligent than you are.

Leaders by nature should be the most intelligent ones in the group; the ones who are most capable. It would be impractical to submit to a man who is less capable than you are.

If anyone disagrees with my worldview, I’d like to hear it.

I agree with you about leaders, but put equal weight on being good.

I can’t see why anyone would prefer a dumber spouse. I know several men whose wives are either smarter or make more money than they do, and every one of them thinks it is a good thing. The better the people are that you get on your team, the better.

It’s more important to be reasonably close in intelligence. If there is a big gap there will often be communication difficulties.

The hard part in finding a spouse was finding one that was either Catholic or willing to be and who would forgo the use of contraception. That will whittle your stack of applicants down to nothing. After that you just can’t too selective on smaller criteria. To me, character is far more important than intelligence. Do I want smart kids, or kids with good character? The latter. Our society places too much emphasis on intelligence.

 

[Xantippe]

A couple of years into our Marriage both my husband and I took IQ tests.

Well, he took the test and I was curious.

When he was done he told me he scored at 120…which is good. It’s above average.

So I took the test. I think I scored a 130 plus or minus a few points. He looked at the score and didn’t say anything at first.

Then he made a comment on marrying such a smart girl.

I jokingly asked him if he was intimidated by it and he was quick to say no!

Later on I checked the browser history and discovered he went back in and took the test again a few more times.

Well, too bad! He’s stuck with me at this point!

Funny!

My husband is much smarter than me. The downside is that some of his “out of the box” thinking on how to do stuff at home can occasionally be a pain (for example, I had to demonstrate via internet that overloading the washer is a Bad Thing, he has a unique method of washing dishes that involves letting them finish up dirty and then wiping them as they come out of the dishwasher and he continues to believe that once a month lawn mowing is adequate).

But, on the other hand, he makes an excellent living (which he didn’t when we got married) and we have scary smart kids and he gets my jokes and I get 98% of his.

So, I think it was very smart of circa 1997 me to realize that he would make an excellent husband.

I can’t imagine what a woman smarter than my husband would look like, because she’d immediately be whisked away by the federal government to Area 51.

 

[Xantippe]

I would prefer to date a female who is less intelligent than I am. God designed us males to be leaders. It is impractical to lead those who are more intelligent than you are.

Leaders by nature should be the most intelligent ones in the group; the ones who are most capable. It would be impractical to submit to a man who is less capable than you are.

If anyone disagrees with my worldview, I’d like to hear it.

If people are too stupid, they can’t follow you.

Just a FYI.

 

[Xantippe]

It’s more important to be reasonably close in intelligence. If there is a big gap there will often be communication difficulties.

I totally agree with that. Nobody, male or female, enjoys having to pull out the finger puppets to explain simple stuff to their spouse. There’s a couple in my family where the husband was substantially smarter than the wife, and he was obviously in agonies trying to explain stuff over and over to her. Plus, she’d sneak around and do stuff with money he didn’t know about because she knew he’d disapprove.

Remember, this person is going to have your checkbook and your credit cards and is going to be driving your kids around–how dumb do you really want them to be?

 

[pensmama87]

I can’t imagine what a woman smarter than my husband would look like, because she’d immediately be whisked away by the federal government to Area 51.

 

[CB_Catholic]

Intelligence in a leader is required, IMO, but what is also required is common sense, which I have noticed is a quality that is lacking in many of our leaders today. It does not matter if you are a man or woman–just look at many of those of both sexes involved in running our government today.

 

[Anglewannabe]

What about the women’s point of view? I am educated and have always dated men with less education. I honestly did not see the issue, but experience has shown me it can be an issue.

The problems that can occur when dating a less smart man

1-) He assumes that since I have a degree, I can get a job anytime. Experience has proven I can’t

2-) When I am passed over for a promotion and want a bit of comforting, his face drops in shock ‘You have a good job, what do you have to complain about’ Oblivious to my wanting to build a career.

3-) When I am in a dead end job and there are rumours about a downsize and I want to acquire transferable skills, a man who tells me I am a nut who worries too much. Ouch

4-) At parties I am obviously a hood ornament. After all he is the only one of his buddies who has an educated girl on this arm, yet behind closed doors the lecture about how my degree means nothing, and the one time I suggest he goes to school a punishment of his going out for lap dances at the strippers.

5-) The assumption that since I am more educated, I am to earn more money for him to buy his toys.

6-) A man who thinks that the government will give me a maternity leave and after that, it is back to being the main breadwinner. No compassion for the fact I would have wanted my husband to care for my child as oppose to the government. And no compassion for the fact I would want to let my career suffer to be with my children

Honestly, intelligence levels are not the only factor to consider

Angie

 

[jmjZelie]

What about the women’s point of view? I am educated and have always dated men with less education. I honestly did not see the issue, but experience has shown me it can be an issue.

The problems that can occur when dating a less smart man

1-) He assumes that since I have a degree, I can get a job anytime. Experience has proven I can’t

2-) When I am passed over for a promotion and want a bit of comforting, his face drops in shock ‘You have a good job, what do you have to complain about’ Oblivious to my wanting to build a career.

3-) When I am in a dead end job and there are rumours about a downsize and I want to acquire transferable skills, a man who tells me I am a nut who worries too much. Ouch

4-) At parties I am obviously a hood ornament. After all he is the only one of his buddies who has an educated girl on this arm, yet behind closed doors the lecture about how my degree means nothing, and the one time I suggest he goes to school a punishment of his going out for lap dances at the strippers.

5-) The assumption that since I am more educated, I am to earn more money for him to buy his toys.

6-) A man who thinks that the government will give me a maternity leave and after that, it is back to being the main breadwinner. No compassion for the fact I would have wanted my husband to care for my child as oppose to the government. And no compassion for the fact I would want to let my career suffer to be with my children

Honestly, intelligence levels are not the only factor to consider

Angie

Ouch, Angie. You were treated abominably by this man. I am sorry.

 

[E_7]

A couple of years into our Marriage both my husband and I took IQ tests.

Well, he took the test and I was curious.

When he was done he told me he scored at 120…which is good. It’s above average.

So I took the test. I think I scored a 130 plus or minus a few points. He looked at the score and didn’t say anything at first.

Then he made a comment on marrying such a smart girl.

I jokingly asked him if he was intimidated by it and he was quick to say no!

Later on I checked the browser history and discovered he went back in and took the test again a few more times.

Well, too bad! He’s stuck with me at this point!

I agree with you about leaders, but put equal weight on being good.

I can’t see why anyone would prefer a dumber spouse. I know several men whose wives are either smarter or make more money than they do, and every one of them thinks it is a good thing. The better the people are that you get on your team, the better.

It’s more important to be reasonably close in intelligence. If there is a big gap there will often be communication difficulties.

The hard part in finding a spouse was finding one that was either Catholic or willing to be and who would forgo the use of contraception. That will whittle your stack of applicants down to nothing. After that you just can’t too selective on smaller criteria. To me, character is far more important than intelligence. Do I want smart kids, or kids with good character? The latter. Our society places too much emphasis on intelligence.

Good point!

 

[Sarcelle]

I’m not advocating for lust or looks only, but am I to really believe that if a good-looking woman happens to sound or even be smarter or more intellectual than her date, the guy will just run for the hills?

Come on…

The only real silver lining I see from the blurb may be a difference in education, but there’s a caveat that with just natural differences that come with say a woman who has a graduate degree versus a man who may not have gone to college.

But that doesn’t even mean the woman is smarter; it just means by going the education route her experiences are different than his are.

It can go either way.

A really beautiful woman with a genius level IQ can be intimidating.

However I have seen happy marriages where the woman has more education than her husband. However the husbands are no slouch in the mental department. They may not have the education but they do have skilled high paying jobs. Education can take place anywhere not only in schools.

 

[Sarcelle]

I agree with you about leaders, but put equal weight on being good.

I can’t see why anyone would prefer a dumber spouse. I know several men whose wives are either smarter or make more money than they do, and every one of them thinks it is a good thing. The better the people are that you get on your team, the better.

It’s more important to be reasonably close in intelligence. If there is a big gap there will often be communication difficulties.

The hard part in finding a spouse was finding one that was either Catholic or willing to be and who would forgo the use of contraception. That will whittle your stack of applicants down to nothing. After that you just can’t too selective on smaller criteria. To me, character is far more important than intelligence. Do I want smart kids, or kids with good character? The latter. Our society places too much emphasis on intelligence.

Our society places too much emphasis on its narrow definition of intelligence. Intelligence is much more than what IQ tests measure.

Someone from a tribe living in the Amazon jungle may not do as well on the SAT exam as an average American, but if you ask the average American to survive in the Amazon jungle they wouldn’t do as well as the native Amazonian.

 

[UbiCaritas]

It can go either way.

A really beautiful woman with a genius level IQ can be intimidating.

However I have seen happy marriages where the woman has more education than her husband. However the husbands are no slouch in the mental department. They may not have the education but they do have skilled high paying jobs.** Education can take place anywhere not only in schools**.

Exactly.

Back when I was single, I wouldn’t have been interested in dating someone with whom I couldn’t have an intellectual conversation. I’m no genius, but I am pretty well-read in a lot of areas. History is kind of a hobby of mine. To not be able to debate the influence of various people and decisions on history, for example, or the theological/logical implications of certain ideas, would have meant the relationship probably wasn’t going to go anywhere. He might be a perfectly lovely guy, but intellectual discussions are sufficiently important to me that I can’t imagine (nor could I then) being married to someone who couldn’t at least meet me halfway in them.

That having been said, formal education does not necessarily translate to how well a person is educated, or vice versa. One of the best-educated men I ever met was a carpenter. His interests were history and literature, but he realized pretty quickly that he could support a family a lot more easily as a master carpenter than he could with a degree in either area. He was quite skilled as a carpenter/builder, and much in demand, but he could also discuss Ovid like no one’s business. Any woman who thought that just because he didn’t have a formal degree he wasn’t intelligent or well-educated would have been missing out!

 

[Sarcelle]

Threatened or turned off? In my experience, women are likewise to prone to flee intelligent men. Or since when were the nerds and geeks the subject of girls’ dreams instead of the quarterbacks they tutored?

Pax Christi

Hmm, it seems intelligence does not seem to be a part of what is considered the masculine or feminine stereotype, the dumb jock or the ditzy fashion obsessed cheerleader.

 

[Naskor]

It sounds like something women tell their friends is the reason some guy didn’t want to date them.

But maybe there are some men who don’t want to date smarter women. And maybe there are some women who don’t want to date smarter men.

Now what?

Agreed. This is the girl version of when guys complain that girls don’t want a nice guy.

 

[E_7]

What if the man has graduate degrees and the woman has just an undergrad degree? Does it really matter? Would the man flee or overlook her for a woman with higher degrees?

 

[pensmama87]

What if the man has graduate degrees and the woman has just an undergrad degree? Does it really matter? Would the man flee or overlook her for a woman with higher degrees?

It depends, but no, in general, I don’t think the gap between an undergrad and grad degree is as large as the gap between a high school diploma and an undergrad degree.

 

[EasterJoy]

It depends, but no, in general, I don’t think the gap between an undergrad and grad degree is as large as the gap between a high school diploma and an undergrad degree.

Exactly. There are fields where only those who want to do research pursue graduate degrees, whereas those who want to actually work in the field stop at a bachelor’s degree. There are even instances where the more advanced degree can hurt your chances of securing a job that doesn’t call for it.

I would say, however, that if the woman has a degree that a man would have liked to have pursued but couldn’t, that might easily bother him.

 

[Kelfa28]

My story was just for a laugh. It happened but in no way did my husband marry me because he thought he has a higher intelligence level or whatever.
He should have know better anyway…we’ve both taken the ASVAB test…which is the military’s equivalent of the IQ test.
I scored higher then he did. Not that much higher, we both qualify for every job the Air Force can offer, but my score is about 5 points above his.
He knew this before we got married and married me anyway…

In truth…responsibility and maturity are far more important. Lightyears more important in my opinion.

My husband only has an associate’s degree. He’s almost finished with his second.

But he is by far the most mature, moral and responsible man I’ve had the opportunity to date. He had his act together by the age of 23.

He’s said that he’s seriously attracted to my intelligence.
I’m his equal and we have deep and meaningful conversations and we debate a lot.

We don’t have a father/daughter or teacher/student like relationship. We’re equals.

When I’m done with school I will have a much higher level of education then he does.

Are areas of study are different too. His is Liberal Arts and mine is a STEM degree.

 

[E_7]

Exactly. There are fields where only those who want to do research pursue graduate degrees, whereas those who want to actually work in the field stop at a bachelor’s degree. There are even instances where the more advanced degree can hurt your chances of securing a job that doesn’t call for it.

I would say, however, that if the woman has a degree that a man would have liked to have pursued but couldn’t, that might easily bother him.

Very true.

 

[Regina7]

It depends, but no, in general, I don’t think the gap between an undergrad and grad degree is as large as the gap between a high school diploma and an undergrad degree.

My husband never earned a college degree. I have a graduate degree. Before I quit full- time when my daughter was born, he still earned 3x as much as I did.

So degrees don’t always equal more money.