Men who practice NFP with their wives

[The_Bucket]

Yup to each their own. It sure is a personal issue.
My OPINION is that tons of people abuse the “just reasons” clause. But it would be unfair of me to accuse you of that when I know nothing of your situation. So I want to be clear that I am not accusing you of anything.

You tell how you do it in your family and I tell how we do it in ours. We dont use the same type of blunt language you do and we could have different criteria for spacing. And we are both free to have the positions we do.

See this where it can get confusing. You speculate that tons of people abuse the just reasons clause and then say you and another poster are free to have the positions that you have, which I presume to mean that there is no moral qualm on either situation. I don’t think you can have it both ways.

Personally I doubt sincerely there are a lot of people out there abusing NFP in any way because the vast majority of Catholics don’t use NFP. Most of those who do use it understand the reasons the Church teaches what it does and understands the proper mindset. After all, if you didn’t have the proper mindset as it pertains to sexuality within marriage, why would you use NFP? Why not just use the pill or some other form of ABC?

I think and well know there are varying definitions of what constitutes “just reasons.” They vary from couple to couple. But I very much doubt there is a lot of abuse of it going on.

 

[thewanderer]

The truth about NPF…

godlessbastard.com/nfp

Because thats clearly written by someone who understands exactly what people who promote NFP think.

 

[waywardson]

The truth about NPF…

I will respond before this gets pulled for abuse.

The Catholic Church does not believe that all sex must lead to procreation. God himself did not intend for all sex to lead to procreation.

Yes, NFP is “gaming the system”. God created the system. He could have designed us so that intercourse triggers ovulation, like rabbits. He did not. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with us learning about and using what He designed.

Contraception is “cheating”, NFP is “playing the game well”.

Your crude language aside, who really wants to pull out? Seriously. Women don’t like it that way either. It doesn’t even work that well.

 

[Moore11]

See this where it can get confusing. You speculate that tons of people abuse the just reasons clause and then say you and another poster are free to have the positions that you have, which I presume to mean that there is no moral qualm on either situation. I don’t think you can have it both ways.

Personally I doubt sincerely there are a lot of people out there abusing NFP in any way because the vast majority of Catholics don’t use NFP. Most of those who do use it understand the reasons the Church teaches what it does and understands the proper mindset. After all, if you didn’t have the proper mindset as it pertains to sexuality within marriage, why would you use NFP? Why not just use the pill or some other form of ABC?

I think and well know there are varying definitions of what constitutes “just reasons.” They vary from couple to couple. But I very much doubt there is a lot of abuse of it going on.

My wife and I taught NFP for Couple to Couple league in our diocese. Most of the Catholic couples wanted to use it long term and have about 2 kids. All they saw it as was “Catholic approved” Birth control. They had no interest in discerning children at the time they were getting married. They had jobs to work, houses to by and vacations to take. Trust me, when we started talking about discernment and just reasons. They were laughable. Most of them already had the names picked out for the two kids they would have. It is why we could not continue teaching. Our parish wisely made it manditory for engaged couples but that only lasted a year and we were told not to make any mention of HOW to form your conscience in this matter. So, we were to teach the method but with no direction on how to use it.

Now the many Mormons in the class were very open to life and had a more “Catholic” view of families.

Again it is just my experience as my 3 kids and one on the way are the 2nd biggest family at the Mass we go to.

 

[The_Bucket]

My wife and I taught NFP for Couple to Couple league in our diocese. Most of the Catholic couples wanted to use it long term and have about 2 kids. All they saw it as was “Catholic approved” Birth control. They had no interest in discerning children at the time they were getting married. They had jobs to work, houses to by and vacations to take. Trust me, when we started talking about discernment and just reasons. They were laughable. Most of them already had the names picked out for the two kids they would have. It is why we could not continue teaching. Our parish wisely made it manditory for engaged couples but that only lasted a year and we were told not to make any mention of HOW to form your conscience in this matter. So, we were to teach the method but with no direction on how to use it.

Now the many Mormons in the class were very open to life and had a more “Catholic” view of families.

Again it is just my experience as my 3 kids and one on the way are the 2nd biggest family at the Mass we go to.

Well that’s rough as far as the 4 kids being a huge family. I’m the eldest of six and my wife is the second-oldest of five. I’m targeting a size similar, provided my wife’s health is good. We’re in our mid-20s and already have two. She wants more and I’m totally cool with that, provided the docs are on board. Scary stuff sometimes man…

But I should note that I wasn’t thinking of kids when I got married! At least not for a few years. Why? Because I was 22 and that’s how 22-year-olds think most of the time. Of course, God had different plans and we found out about our son less than three months after our wedding day…

 

[Moore11]

Well that’s rough as far as the 4 kids being a huge family. I’m the eldest of six and my wife is the second-oldest of five. I’m targeting a size similar, provided my wife’s health is good. We’re in our mid-20s and already have two. She wants more and I’m totally cool with that, provided the docs are on board. Scary stuff sometimes man…

But I should note that I wasn’t thinking of kids when I got married! At least not for a few years. Why? Because I was 22 and that’s how 22-year-olds think most of the time. Of course, God had different plans and we found out about our son less than three months after our wedding day…

But 22 or not it is part of getting married. I would advise my own children to think of this when choosing a mate. How will they be as a parent? What are your thoughts on family? If you are not thinking of this when you are getting married and not knowing what the Church teaches and why then you are taking a HUGE risk with the most important decision of your life. But no lie. I was the same as you when I got married however that does not mean that is how it should be.
I also want to add that our parish is a VERY wealthy and liberal parish. Most of the “kids” who get married in it are in their 30s and have been shacking up for a while. Even the younger ones make more money with no kids than my wife does with 4 kids. So the idea of the 900,000 dollar house that is keeping them from being open to life is sickening. They dont care just as long as they get married in the Cathedral.
Now, I know I am generalizing. There have been many many wonderful couples that have come through the program but it is a definite trend in our city in the 8 parishes in the place where I live.

 

[The_Bucket]

I understand the creeping cynicism; lived in a pretty wealthy area myself as a youth and we were one of the few with a boatload of kids. Most of the families that had more than three or four were at the lower-middle class parish some miles away.

It’s not like I wasn’t thinking about kids in my future and clearly we were open to life. It’s just not something that hit me as an immediate thing. I was more concerned with starting my career and my wife finishing school. Maybe she’d get a year or two of her profession in and then, with some cash saved up, we’d start on the kids.

I certainly was not of the idea that we needed to buy two cars, a house and have two extra bedrooms set up with cribs before we had kids! But I we were able to adjust to God’s plans.

Still haven’t bought that second car or own our house but we’re doing just fine.

 

[CallMeDad]

On the original issue, we’ve been using NFP for several years. My wife began tracking on a chart, and then just did it in her head.

Recently, we bought a Lady Comp which essentially tracks for NFP, and very accurately it seems. Prior to using Lady Comp, we were limited, for safety reasons I guess, to a period which began with the third day of elevated temps after her period to the next period. The entire time was only around a week. With Lady Comp, we have recently added the days immediately following the end of her period. Those days are green light days, as are the days of the period itself, if that’s your thing - it’s not her thing, nor mine I suppose, not that it would matter.

Anyway, sorry to be more graphic than even I am comfortable with, but some months ago I was looking for the information I just related, and I could not find it. Basically, it seems the Lady Comp has given us more days, and that’s a real good thing. The rest of the time, as the others have said, I tend to just offer it up.

 

[Moore11]

On the original issue, we’ve been using NFP for several years. My wife began tracking on a chart, and then just did it in her head.

Recently, we bought a Lady Comp which essentially tracks for NFP, and very accurately it seems. Prior to using Lady Comp, we were limited, for safety reasons I guess, to a period which began with the third day of elevated temps after her period to the next period. The entire time was only around a week. With Lady Comp, we have recently added the days immediately following the end of her period. Those days are green light days, as are the days of the period itself, if that’s your thing - it’s not her thing, nor mine I suppose, not that it would matter.

Anyway, sorry to be more graphic than even I am comfortable with, but some months ago I was looking for the information I just related, and I could not find it. Basically, it seems the Lady Comp has given us more days, and that’s a real good thing. The rest of the time, as the others have said, I tend to just offer it up.

We used ladycomp and it was by far the easiest method for us. We used to joke that a computer told us when we could have sex. But in all seriousness I have very good things to say about them. They are expensive but very accurate. The Ladycomp can also be programmed to be a fertility tool as well.
Red light days yellow light days and green light days. once the ladycomp learns your cycle you get more green light days. Ladycomp was most helpful for us PP.
After a while you get to notice your sympto signs better and the ladycomp kind of goes away. It is a great tool for learning NFP because you wont screw up as you try to figure out the cycles and safe days.

 

[Josephene]

Having come good exorcism prayers at a site and having read on how ’ Catholic ’ ’ Melinda Gates is going to spend millions on birthcontrol research , wondered if exorcism prayers, to deal with struggles in NFP may be a good combination ( as well for Ms.Gates and such ! )

The prayers by a Rome trained exorcist priest -

youtube.com/watch?v=FAg0yj3LdCc

Having read how , prior to the Fall , God’s plan for Adam and Eve was to have brought forth holy children , in total harmony and self control , through power of spoken word , like The Father Himself and not in carnal union , wondering if enough persons in The Church lived in fidelity to Church guidlines in this area , would there be more revealed wisdom that would help more persons to practice NFP , with less struggles , computing etc !

Would it not be good if Ms .Gates spends all her funds , in looking to see if such wisdom might already be there in The Church …such as that , holy couples embued in the Spirit are able to trust that the ’ fertile days ’ are in harmony with their readiness as well as God’s will …

’ Motherhood sanctifes womanhood ’ - hope such sword of The Spirit verses would bring trust and courage to more couples …

and that the above prayers would be of help , to those who have struggles and issues in this area …

God bless !

 

[ryecroft]

Having come good exorcism prayers at a site and having read on how ’ Catholic ’ ’ Melinda Gates is going to spend millions on birthcontrol research , wondered if exorcism prayers, to deal with struggles in NFP may be a good combination ( as well for Ms.Gates and such ! )

The prayers by a Rome trained exorcist priest -

youtube.com/watch?v=FAg0yj3LdCc

Having read how , prior to the Fall , God’s plan for Adam and Eve was to have brought forth holy children , in total harmony and self control , through power of spoken word , like The Father Himself and not in carnal union , wondering if enough persons in The Church lived in fidelity to Church guidlines in this area , would there be more revealed wisdom that would help more persons to practice NFP , with less struggles , computing etc !

Would it not be good if Ms .Gates spends all her funds , in looking to see if such wisdom might already be there in The Church …such as that , holy couples embued in the Spirit are able to trust that the ’ fertile days ’ are in harmony with their readiness as well as God’s will …

’ Motherhood sanctifes womanhood ’ - hope such sword of The Spirit verses would bring trust and courage to more couples …

and that the above prayers would be of help , to those who have struggles and issues in this area …

God bless !

As far as my family is concerned, we believe that we’ve been given the knowledge and equipment to use NFP (and I must admit, the lady comp and the ovacue make it much much easier especailly for those starting out - no question on if som ething is an ‘iffy’ day)- but I honestly believe that since the Church o.k.'s us using this knowlege (for what each family determines is thier own ‘serious’ matter) - that God is approving of couples using NFP. If your thing is to ‘leave it up to God’ on your fertile days, then do whatever you want. But the biology is there (yes as is God) but don’t go and do something on a fertile day or possibly fertile day, get pregnant and then say ‘oh it was God’s will’ as if it’s some surprize that you’ve gotten pregnant. (not saying it’s not God’s will but that you’ve basically knowingly allowed yourself to get pregnant)- again if your thing is having as many as you ‘feel’ God wants you to have and can handle all the implications then go for it, but I’m tired of people criticizing people who want to be able to provide well for their children so don’t go for the whole ‘quiverful’ idea. If you and your spouse have prayed about having one or two or however many children, that doesn’t make us bad Catholic’s or something - it means we’ve prayed about it and feel that we can only provide (not neceassarily meaning monitarily) for one or two kids. We know very well that even if we watch and chart with the best that if God does decide to send another pregnancy along that it is still possible to get pregnant even while charting with the best of them. I know this for a fact.
God Bless
Rye

 

[Josephene]

As far as my family is concerned, we believe that we’ve been given the knowledge and equipment to use NFP (and I must admit, the lady comp and the ovacue make it much much easier especailly for those starting out - no question on if som ething is an ‘iffy’ day)- but I honestly believe that since the Church o.k.'s us using this knowlege (for what each family determines is thier own ‘serious’ matter) - that God is approving of couples using NFP.
God Bless
Rye

Thank you for the (name removed by moderator)ut, which gives an occasion to clarify the issue …

Agree , NFP is Church approved and thank God for couples who use same !

As you know, it is better Godly wisdom in the area has allowed the technological know how , to help to a good extent in the field, esp. for those who are able to have the means for it all .

The mention of the looking more into the spiritual aspect of fertility was just that …

Reading on how the Immaculate Conception was such an event ( even though lots more 'supernatuaral ’ , and for a very holy, specially designed couple , esp. from our fallen nature perspective ) , just wondering if in His mercy , such a possibility of alignment of wills is still there ,or would be granted , with enough holiness and spiritual maturity , in the couple …and even in the society …

ccel.org/ccel/emmerich/lifemary.html - this might give more details about the event around the conception of The Virgin …

Agree, a complex issue …and one that would need more spiritual insights than any reasearch dollars …

Yet , can see how such a possibilty can also help to accomplish much, esp. in countries where this area is an occasion of so much serious sin …

True, basically the motive of our lives is to be able to live holy lives and to be in His will, which ofcourse include the Cross … still , was wondering if a tangible effect of such holy lives , even for the here and now in this area can also do good …

Well, for sure ,we have good people such as the Pope PaulV1 institute , doing wonderful Godly research in this area…

May be prayers for Ms Gates would help her to work closely with such groups !

Peace !