Men, Women & sex

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BlindSheep

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LittleDeb posted this on another thread: I just thought I’d move it here to allow further discussion.(I hope you don’t mind!)
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littledeb:
Women’s enjoyment of sex is based almost entirely in the emotional attachment. Men’s enjoyment of sex is based on the act of sex itself. This is not cultural or based on a “man’s world.” This is just the nature of men and women.

Women don’t actually covet other women’s husbands. Again, a fairly recent problem makes it seem as though women do covet men. Women covet how another woman might be treated or how much a happiness another woman might get because of her husband. We covet those things about the other husband, but we do not covet the husband, as a man. Men covet the other man’s wife, as a woman. Period
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I might be misunderstanding you, LittleDeb, but it seems to me that you are saying that women do not enjoy sex unless there is an emotional connection. Now, first of all I want to say that I don’t think anyone, man or woman, ought to be having sex outside of mariage at all. That said, as a woman who had a “former life” without such moral values, that my own experience disproves this. I say “disproves” because it is a blanket statement, so one exception makes it untrue. I was able to enjoy sex when there was no emotional connection, and I also definately had the experience of “coveting” a man - not his attributes, but the man himself.
Now, I suppose some might say that since I was brought up in an amoral, pagan environment, my sexuality is “warped” and not an example of what a woman’s sexuality should be; to you I say, there is no woman or man whose sexuality is not “warped”! That’s what original sin is all about; however, if we are talking about what is the *nature *of women and men, the fact that I was never taught that women are not supposed to enjoy sex makes me a better, not a worse, example of what is natural.
 
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BlindSheep:
LittleDeb posted this on another thread: I just thought I’d move it here to allow further discussion.(I hope you don’t mind!)

I might be misunderstanding you, LittleDeb, but it seems to me that you are saying that women do not enjoy sex unless there is an emotional connection. Now, first of all I want to say that I don’t think anyone, man or woman, ought to be having sex outside of mariage at all. That said, as a woman who had a “former life” without such moral values, that my own experience disproves this. I say “disproves” because it is a blanket statement, so one exception makes it untrue. I was able to enjoy sex when there was no emotional connection, and I also definately had the experience of “coveting” a man - not his attributes, but the man himself.
Now, I suppose some might say that since I was brought up in an amoral, pagan environment, my sexuality is “warped” and not an example of what a woman’s sexuality should be; to you I say, there is no woman or man whose sexuality is not “warped”! That’s what original sin is all about; however, if we are talking about what is the *nature *of women and men, the fact that I was never taught that women are not supposed to enjoy sex makes me a better, not a worse, example of what is natural.
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Yes - I am also a woman “with a past” and I can attest to what blindsheep says.
 
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littledeb:
Women’s enjoyment of sex is based almost entirely in the emotional attachment. Men’s enjoyment of sex is based on the act of sex itself. This is not cultural or based on a “man’s world.” This is just the nature of men and women.

Women don’t actually covet other women’s husbands. Again, a fairly recent problem makes it seem as though women do covet men. Women covet how another woman might be treated or how much a happiness another woman might get because of her husband. We covet those things about the other husband, but we do not covet the husband, as a man. Men covet the other man’s wife, as a woman. Period
Click to expand...
What thread did this come from? It would be nice to see this in context.
 
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BlindSheep:
That said, as a woman who had a “former life” without such moral values, that my own experience disproves this. I say “disproves” because it is a blanket statement, so one exception makes it untrue.
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I must say I had my own doubts about her assertion, but being a man, well…
 
//*Women’s enjoyment of sex is based almost entirely in the emotional attachment. Men’s enjoyment of sex is based on the act of sex itself. This is not cultural or based on a “man’s world.” This is just the nature of men and women.

Women don’t actually covet other women’s husbands. Again, a fairly recent problem makes it seem as though women do covet men. Women covet how another woman might be treated or how much a happiness another woman might get because of her husband. We covet those things about the other husband, but we do not covet the husband, as a man. Men covet the other man’s wife, as a woman. Period*
//

so basically women only like men for what men can do for them, not the man himself. yay. Just what every man wants to hear.
 
First off: Cynic, i think you live up to your name too well. A woman falls in love with the whole package, not just the box it comes in. And love does not look for ways to “use”.
Second: As yet another woman with a past (how tragic that there are so many of us), i can attest to enjoying sex without the security of a relationship attached. However, because i was emotionally unsatisfied, it gradually became less and less easy to “enjoy” the experience each time i got used (i thought i was being liberated). Even when my now-husband and i started dating, i had tremendous trust issues and felt that the sex act was more of a performance (hence not a giving and receiving of love). I was also terrified whenever he wasn’t in the mood that he was cheating on me or no longer interested in me. It has taken nearly two years to be comfortable and to truly appreciate on a spiritual level the love making we share and to let him love me instead of feeling like i have to live up to some unknown fantasy.
This being said, i would agree that while it may be possible to enjoy sex without emotional attachment, there is damage being done that you may not be aware of. And it will get harder and harder to trust someone and be in a loving and lasting relationship with every man you do this with. 😦
 
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