Mental Abuse

[LoyalViews]

Here’s an hypothetical scenario:
A couple are living together, and one day the Man notices the woman’s son’s bookbag on the floor next to the door. Instead of going to the son and correcting him, he goes to the mother and screams at her for what the son did, then the Mother goes to the son and ask him why he did it.

Please note, all he did was leave his bookbag on the floor.

Later that night, when the man and woman go to bed, the man starts getting mad at the woman and starts to argue and scream to her that what the son did was bad, for leaving his bookbag on the floor, next to the door. He finally yells and screams enough, until he “convinces” the woman he’s right, and that what the son did was very wrong.

Do you follow?
Is this mental abuse for what the man is doing?

 

[Aaron1988]

Mental abuse is things like put downs, name calling, shouting or swearing at you, blaming you for things that you didn’t do/ aren’t your fault. So yes this would be mental abuse.

To be honest this sounds like a really bad situation that could turn into physical abuse later on, if someone can get this angry over something so trivial how will they act when something that really is stressful happens?
Also isn’t anger one of the 7 deadly sins? So by behaving this way not only is he upsetting, and more than likely scareing his wife and probably her (their?) child he is sinning.

I think this man needs to learn to control his anger and to treat his wife and her (their?) child with respect and in a calm manner.

 

[Job42]

Maybe it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, i.e., the child has been told many times to pick up after himself. However there is never any reason to scream and holler at your spouse. Especially for the man to do it, it can be very intimidating and frightening, especially with children within earshot. So yes I think it is abuse on some level.

 

[starsmurf]

Maybe it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, i.e., the child has been told many times to pick up after himself. However there is never any reason to scream and holler at your spouse. Especially for the man to do it, it can be very intimidating and frightening, especially with children within earshot. So yes I think it is abuse on some level.

But why yell at the wife? It is no more her fault than the husband’s. It is abuse, pure and simple.

 

[PbloPicasso]

First, I hope this isn’t you.
Second, living together sounds like cohabitation.
Third, the way you describe the situation is that the boy is not the man’s son.
Forth, no matter what the case, this is abuse, verbal and mental.
Fifth, this is about to go postal and end up in physical abuse.

Advice, get out of the relationship, separate immediately. If this is a valid marriage, then take it to solid Christian counseling and work out the issues before attempting to get back together in the same house. The man has serious issues that need to be taken care of on his own personal counseling simultaneous to the marital counseling.

Hope I didn’t misunderstand.

 

[Pacbox]

I would say this is mostly verbal abuse rather than mental abuse. If it was the first time this ever happened it may just be an issue of anger management but since this is a scenario it’s hard to say.

Mental abuse, also known as psychological abuse, involves verbal abuse but includes things like
-threatening to injure or kill the victim or family or friends;

• preventing a person from leaving, eating or sleeping;
  -denying the victim financial support or even taking their money from them;
  -harassing the victim at home, work, or school.

Victims develop such issues as depression, anxiety, possible drug use, suicidal thoughts and/or attempts, poor health, mental health issues, poor work or school performance. (Source) (See also here)

Verbal abuse includes such things as defining people, telling them what they are, what they think, their motives, and so forth. I suggest this site and if possible read the books the author has written.

 

[starsmurf]

Great post Pacbox!

PS I love the lolcat in your signature. Must look for that one…

 

[Pacbox]

Great post Pacbox!

PS I love the lolcat in your signature. Must look for that one…

Thank you. These topics are ones I have read a lot about over the last few years plus my own own experiences in learning to heal from these types of abuse.

As for the lolcat, it’s from last year on the lolcat site. It plays to my sense of humor.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Here’s an hypothetical scenario:
A couple are living together, and one day the Man notices the woman’s son’s bookbag on the floor next to the door. Instead of going to the son and correcting him, he goes to the mother and screams at her for what the son did, then the Mother goes to the son and ask him why he did it.

Please note, all he did was leave his bookbag on the floor.

Later that night, when the man and woman go to bed, the man starts getting mad at the woman and starts to argue and scream to her that what the son did was bad, for leaving his bookbag on the floor, next to the door. He finally yells and screams enough, until he “convinces” the woman he’s right, and that what the son did was very wrong.

Do you follow?
Is this mental abuse for what the man is doing?

It really doesn’t matter how your classify it, it’s abuse. The number one category of child abuse is boyfriends of women with children not biologically related to the boyfriend. Many children are killed every year by men their mothers have brought into their lives.

Whoever this woman is, she needs to get herself and her son out of that house. Any man who would lose his temper like that over a book bag on the floor, not once, but twice, or stay angry for hours, is in need of help, and since abuse tends to escalate, the next time, he could get physical with her or her son. What a terrible atmosphere when a child cannot even be a child (dumping his backpack on the floor without thinking) for fear of some kind of insane result from his mother’s live-in.

If it’s you, please know that there is help for you. Call a battered women’s shelter and get help. Go back to your family if you can. Get out of there in any case. This man is abusive and you could be hurt. If a marriage is involved, separation is OK since abuse is present. Go to your priest ASAP and tell him the whole story. But stay away from this man.

 

[LoyalViews]

I need to re-state, this is purely hypothetical. If I was in this situation, I can promise you I wouldn’t give the abuse no second chance, and I would definitely have my Mother out right away.

Anyhow, thanks for your responses.