Mental illness and conversion

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This is a really sensitive topic. A person who converted to Catholicism then kept changing her mind. I wonder if she has a mental illness. Anyway now she is mad at me because I didn’t just say oh, sure, nothing wrong with your leaving the Church yet again. I tried - charitably yet with some firmness - so I thought, and I’ve gone to Confession and talked to the priest a little bit about did I go about things wrong? He said we can’t force anybody and I knew that.

I’m just completely mystified how a sane person could change their mind so many many times about being Catholic or not, and seem sincere each time, yet still be so prone to changing yet again. So was she insane? Was I insane to try to help? I know I just have to pray now since the person is angry at me (and I’m not sure I’m the right person to help her anymore) - pray that God will send someone or reach her heart in a way that I could not. I invite anyone reading this to join with me in prayer.
 
Praying.

There was a woman in my RCIA class last year who has gone through the program about 3 or 4 times but just cannot bring herself to actually be baptized and confirmed. I know this is different since your friend actually joined but I can tell you first hand that this past year after after I was baptized and confirmed on Easter has been the hardest year I’ve ever encountered. Ever. It takes so much strength and support to get through it, something I don’t have much of. Well, I manage the strength part but barely.

I’ll pray that your friend finds strength, and sees things clearly. Just pray, even if that’s all you can do, it makes you an amazing friend.
 
She may be just indecisive. There are plenty of indecisive people who are not mentally ill. In any case, Father is right: She, and she alone, has to make this decision for herself. Engaging her or attempting to prod her might be more likely to drive her away from conversion than to finally get her to commit to being Catholic. Just pray for her to achieve some clarity with this, and if it were me, I would not bring up the subject unless she does at some future time, and be prepared to do a lot more listening than talking.
 
odile53 said:
She may be just indecisive. There are plenty of indecisive people who are not mentally ill. In any case, Father is right: She, and she alone, has to make this decision for herself. Engaging her or attempting to prod her might be more likely to drive her away from conversion than to finally get her to commit to being Catholic. Just pray for her to achieve some clarity with this, and if it were me, I would not bring up the subject unless she does at some future time, and be prepared to do a lot more listening than talking.
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Possibly. Maybe there’s a continuum of indecisiveness trait in people and she is at an extreme end of it. 🤷 It just began to make me wonder if it was still within “normal” range. Also the suddenness with which she would change her mind and the seeming great enthusiasm she would show about the Catholic faith. I don’t know if she was maybe trying to convince herself too?

@ ItsLove - thank you for sharing your own experiences; that helps too. A lady in my parish said basically what you said (she doesn’t know this person I’m concerned about because the person doesn’t live in our diocese).

I can “only” pray now - which is not by any means a bad thing. The person is not speaking to me and maybe that’s for the best at this time, and I seem to make things worse in my efforts to make them better. So I just hope and pray that God will send her someone else she can really “connect” with in a better way. And that He will forgive me for anything clumsy I may have done in my human weakness and my - I admit it - sometimes frustration. 😦
 
Apologista said:
This is a really sensitive topic. A person who converted to Catholicism then kept changing her mind. I wonder if she has a mental illness. Anyway now she is mad at me because I didn’t just say oh, sure, nothing wrong with your leaving the Church yet again. I tried - charitably yet with some firmness - so I thought, and I’ve gone to Confession and talked to the priest a little bit about did I go about things wrong? He said we can’t force anybody and I knew that.

I’m just completely mystified how a sane person could change their mind so many many times about being Catholic or not, and seem sincere each time, yet still be so prone to changing yet again. So was she insane? Was I insane to try to help? I know I just have to pray now since the person is angry at me (and I’m not sure I’m the right person to help her anymore) - pray that God will send someone or reach her heart in a way that I could not. I invite anyone reading this to join with me in prayer.
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Do you remember in the bible when Jesus is talking about spreading the seed in different condition, some went in good ground, others on rock, others in thorns etc… Anyway, pray for your friend so the seeds go in the good ground. Pray for her, this isn’t about her but all the bad stuff that don’t want us to find the real deal. Meaning, rediscovering the sacred sacraments of the Catholic faith. My husband, when i resumed to church, he tried to make me go to another church that isn’t catholic, but my answer was simply NO. People had prayed for me and i know this was significant to help me to find my way again.

Pray for her, and yes you cannot force her but stand your ground if she asks your opinion otherwise, just love her as she is. I would do the Divine Mercy chaplet for her and definitely the blessed Mother Mary.

All will be well, keep her close to Jesus with your prayer.
 
I wish there would be some way she could see a priest and be “dispensed” from her Catholic obligations until she can sort this out. I fear for her soul. On the other hand, perhaps her culpability is lessened if she’s in such a state of mental turmoil. And the way she sees it she can just decide to no longer be a Catholic and that’s that. Besides, as I said, communication has broken down. I feel bad for having let it, but I was getting confused myself - it was as if this gal was two different people and I never knew which one I was getting. :confused: I really did and do wonder if she has a split personality.
 
Apologista said:
I wish there would be some way she could see a priest and be “dispensed” from her Catholic obligations until she can sort this out. I fear for her soul. On the other hand, perhaps her culpability is lessened if she’s in such a state of mental turmoil. And the way she sees it she can just decide to no longer be a Catholic and that’s that. Besides, as I said, communication has broken down. I feel bad for having let it, but I was getting confused myself - it was as if this gal was two different people and I never knew which one I was getting. :confused: I really did and do wonder if she has a split personality.
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Surrender her to God’s Infinite Mercy.

I have a friend who has some troubles with mental illness (as do I) and she seems to listen to whomever will pay the most attention to her (Jeheovah’s Witnesses, Assembly of God, her parents-Catholic).

I’ve taken her to church and sometimes she’s fine and sometimes she walks out part-way through because she “can’t stand all this Catholic stuff.”

Circumstances have separated us over the past year but I continue to pray for her and I will pray for you and your friend as well.
 
Mary_Ellen said:
Surrender her to God’s Infinite Mercy.

I have a friend who has some troubles with mental illness (as do I) and she seems to listen to whomever will pay the most attention to her (Jeheovah’s Witnesses, Assembly of God, her parents-Catholic).

I’ve taken her to church and sometimes she’s fine and sometimes she walks out part-way through because she “can’t stand all this Catholic stuff.”

Circumstances have separated us over the past year but I continue to pray for her and I will pray for you and your friend as well.
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Mary Ellen, your friend and this person sound somewhat similar. I wonder if you would pray for me as well, because I’m having a hard time letting go of this. It probably wouldn’t be wise to contact the person, yet things ended on such a sour note that I feel a wish to placate her just enough to try and have a peaceful closure. Yet I’m no dummy - I know that could open a huge can of worms. And I have already taken the matter to Confession and received wisdom from the priest and absolution for the part that was my fault. It’s just sad, that’s all. :bighanky:
 
Mary_Ellen said:
You will be in my prayers, as well.

:gopray2:
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An update - the lines of communication have been reopened - thank you for your prayers. I’m working on listening to what the Holy Spirit may be trying to tell me and just taking things slowly. Trying to be a friend even as I’m sad over this person’s choice. Also trusting that God knows her needs - and mine. In short, learning the discipline of patience.
 
Misunderstood… yes,.I think because I have been misunderstood in a church. Probably was considered to be mentally ill to! No one really ever knows the personal experience one is having or how Christ is working in them,

We do not all fit into a little box. But we are all of God’s creation. But being expected to fit ( by others) or being judged can be one reason a person does not stay on in church, or may go back and forth.

Coming from that side of the fence, what would have helped me personally is this:
Christ commands us…to love one another. He did not make any exceptions to this…unless I am unaware.
Holly3278 said:
Perhaps this person is just misunderstood?
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Holly3278 said:
Perhaps this person is just misunderstood?
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Or enigmatic 😉 - there really were some things that were difficult to understand. That’s why I’m realizing I must stop trying to put all the “puzzle pieces” together and step back and let God do that part. :gopray: But I am grateful that my friend and I are able now to not let the issue get so intense that we begin to be debating in a negative and unproductive way.
 
Apologista said:
I wish there would be some way she could see a priest and be “dispensed” from her Catholic obligations until she can sort this out. I fear for her soul. On the other hand, perhaps her culpability is lessened if she’s in such a state of mental turmoil. And the way she sees it she can just decide to no longer be a Catholic and that’s that. Besides, as I said, communication has broken down. I feel bad for having let it, but I was getting confused myself - it was as if this gal was two different people and I never knew which one I was getting. :confused: I really did and do wonder if she has a split personality.
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Saint Therese of Lisieux said that she conquered more heart with prayer/fast then words. Pray for her and offer sacrifice or fasting for her.

Love and blessings!
 
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