Mental Reservation and Fasting

[jtaski]

Hey everyone,

You were all SO helpful with my last moral dilemma, so I’ve decided to present you with the other one that has been plaguing me as of late.

I was quite relieved to find this thread forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=106537&highlight=fast+humbly which answered a question I had about whether fasting (the one-meal-a-day sort that the Church recommends) in order to grow closer to God, detach from sin, do penance, etc., could be accompanied by simultaneously hoping to lose weight (as long as you’re not medically underweight or something unhealthy like that already!) So, Michelle Arnold basically answered that yes, that’s fine.

EDIT I just want to make sure it’s clear that although I want to lose weight for my health and so that I don’t have to feel downright ashamed of my appearance, I don’t think vanity is something that needs to be worried about much in my case; I’m not that type of girl. And I think wanting to work towards a healthier body (which equals an improved appearance) is completely different than becoming totally wrapped up in/obsessed with aesthetics and vanity. END EDIT

But that presents a new problem: Namely, my family and friends would not understand the primary part of my motivation (seeking to do penance and draw nearer to God), so they would either a) assume I was making it up to go on a “crash diet” (not true at all) or b) mock/judge me for being “too religious.” I’m an adult and what I eat or don’t eat, since I’m in NO physical danger from choosing to fast, is really a private matter in my opinion. I know that Jesus says in Matthew 6:16-18 that we should do our best to keep our fasts between us and God, so do you guys feel that His words + my concerns = just cause to use vague language/mental reservation? For example, if I came home and was told that we were having pizza for dinner in 15 minutes, I would say something like “I’ll come down and sit with you guys, but I ate already” (very true, I’ve eaten many times in my life…TOO many, in fact ).

You get the idea. I don’t want to have everyone on my back about my decision to fast (which I admit has twofold motivation, but the apologist from that thread said that’s fine), which I believe falls into the category of personal/private information, and Jesus even says to keep it between you and God, so do you guys think I have just cause here to use vague/ambiguous language when necessary?

Thanks so much, and God bless.

 

[ThePenitent]

Hmmm, a very interesting question. Here is my opinion (for whatever it is worth):

From a blind perspective, or from a rigid Kantian philosophical position (which is NOT Catholic), one can say that it is always wrong to prevaricate (to hide the truth). But as you are coming from a deeper, spiritual perspective I would say that yes, it is okay to conceal the fact that you are fasting. Or, once your fasting becomes known, it is okay to conceal that the motivation for your fast is spiritual in nature.

I say this because:

1. One should not “sound trumpets” about one’s good deeds or spiritual devotions (Matthew 6:1-6), and more specifically, as you pointed out (Matthew 6:16-18) concerning fasting.
2. Once others know of your fasting (or any other devotion), your motivation for maintaining or continuing the devotion becomes impure. That is, to some extent, your motivation will be to appear to other people as though you are not impious, not weak in your faith in God or your love of God, not irresponsible or immature or unreliable in the handling of your commitments, promises, or obligations.
3. Once you end your fast, other people can make it into a “scandal” regarding religious fervor or devotion. That is, even if you are successful in your fast for the period you had set, or for the purpose you had set, others will view it as weakness on your part or on the part of God. They could say, “She didn’t get her prayers answered, her devotions were not rewarded with a vision of Jesus and Mary, or whatever she was looking for, so after a few weeks (or whatever time period) she gave it up. She must be disappointed to find that she’s not special after all, that she’s just like the rest of us.” Or, they could say, “She was so prayerful and well disciplined in observing her fast (or any other devotion), yet God did not reward her piety. This just goes to show that God does not exist, that he does not bless those who follow him faithfully. Look at her, she still suffered (fill in the blank: caught the flu, flat tire, car stolen, etc.) so this is proof that there is no point to performing religious practices such as fasting (or whatever).”
4. There is an alternative to lying to your friends and family about fasting, or about the religious motivation for your fasting. You can simply say that you are skipping meals and sending the money you save from those meals to a charity such as “Feed the Children” or “Catholic Relief Services” or whatever. Although, I would hope that this would be truth. Indeed, many people fast with the pleasant side effect of saving money, and then they give the money to charity. Furthermore, you could admit that your fasting also has some quasi-religious aspects to it – “you know, the whole Catholic social justice thing.” If it is the season of Lent, you could go so far as to add to it “you know, the whole penance and uniting oneself with the sufferings of Christ thing.” You needn’t confess to them the more truthful, more deeply spiritual, and more deeply personal motivations for your fasting. I guess what I am getting at, is that a partial truth is better than a complete falsehood – plus it gives you the chance to share your faith and perhaps inspire someone else. Never underestimate the ability of the Holy Spirit to work through you for the benefit of someone else.
5. And I do agree that losing weight can be a pleasant side effect of your fasting. But it should not be more than that. I would be careful to only weigh yourself when you begin your fast, and when you end your fast. In between, you may look at yourself in the mirror, notice how your clothes fit better, etc. But look only briefly to confirm that you are losing weight and to thank God for this pleasant side effect to your religious devotion. You should NOT weigh yourself often or dwell on your weight loss (unless you lose TOO MUCH weight). It is important to maintain the PURITY of the motivation of your fasting: to share in the sufferings of Christ and to draw closer to God – NOT to look more attractive for vain, social, or lustful motivations. I would look at it from this perspective: while we are BOTH soul & body and it is wrong to be at war with our body, we do need to tame and discipline our body to be the servant of our will. We need to conquer our sin of gluttony, our unhealthy relationship with food, our eating disorder, our need to fill the empty void within us using food, or whatever the source of our weight problem might be. To sum up this point, it is not the weight loss that I would look for as a pleasant side effect, it is rooting out the cause of my weight problem and conquering it once and for all. Indeed, this could even be one of the principal motivations for the fast and not merely a side effect. To tame the appetites of the body is an important religious goal, though not as deeply spiritual as penance and growing closer to God.
   Whew, that’s long enough I reckon!
   God Bless!

 

[rwoehmke]

Hmmm, a very interesting question. Here is my opinion (for whatever it is worth):

From a blind perspective, or from a rigid Kantian philosophical position (which is NOT Catholic), one can say that it is always wrong to prevaricate (to hide the truth). But as you are coming from a deeper, spiritual perspective I would say that yes, it is okay to conceal the fact that you are fasting. Or, once your fasting becomes known, it is okay to conceal that the motivation for your fast is spiritual in nature.

I say this because:
2) Once others know of your fasting (or any other devotion), your motivation for maintaining or continuing the devotion becomes impure. That is, to some extent, your motivation will be to appear to other people as though you are not impious, not weak in your faith in God or your love of God, not irresponsible or immature or unreliable in the handling of your commitments, promises, or obligations.

1. Once you end your fast, other people can make it into a “scandal” regarding religious fervor or devotion. That is, even if you are successful in your fast for the period you had set, or for the purpose you had set, others will view it as weakness on your part or on the part of God.
2. There is an alternative to lying to your friends and family about fasting, or about the religious motivation for your fasting. You can simply say that you are skipping meals and sending the money you save from those meals to a charity such as “Feed the Children” or “Catholic Relief Services” or whatever. "
   God Bless!

For 2. and 3. in my opinion it is not your responsibility to be looking out for what others may think about your motivation. I do agree that they have no right to know your reasons and to misdirect them is no lie. Either way it is really none of their concern. You are not their conscience.As for 4. why is this any better as a “boast” than the true motivation?

As for Pizza tonight. Sit down at the table, spend lots of time nibbling on one piece, and probably no one will notice unless you are one of those persons who usually dive into a pizza with elbows extended and using both hands. Fasting does not have to mean going without, it can be even more of a sacrifice to limit ones self to a few bites as a little bit makes your mind think, " I want more!" Have you ever gone to lunch with someone who talks and talks, while you spend your time listening and eating efficiently? You are finished and they have hardly touched their lunch. Do you get the hint? Use your mouth more for conversing and less for eating while at table.

 

[Andruschak]

I have made my opinions clear on one point, so here it is again. Our bodies are Temples of the Holy Spirit. If we can use the disciplines of the Church’s fasting guidelines to lose weight and improve health, so much the better.

Now, in my case, I live by myself, so fasting 6 days a week is no big deal. As long as my two cats are fed better then me, they do not complain

But with family, there can be a problem. I cannot help you here.

I am fortunate that when I do visit family, they know of, and accept, my penitential fasting.