Mentally Ill Diabetic Son

[RosalieM]

My son has been deceiving me as to his condition, saying that all was well. He is in a board and care facility where he receives psychiatric and medical attention on a regular basis.
Today his doctor called and told me he refused to take insulin for a very high blood sugar test result. The care facility says he goes out and eats whatever he wants. He told me he was tired of the medical profession dictating his life. I read up where such patients do become frustrated at taking so many medications. He has his psychiatric drug, along with cholesterol, diabetes pills and acid reflux. He denies even having diabetes. He would not listen to me when I tried to persuade him to take the insulin.
I’ve spoken to his doctor about a court order, gave her the social worker’s number and also called the social worker. I also told the doctor to contact his psychiatrist and that the psychiatric drug can influence the blood sugar.
I don’t know what else to do (besides praying of course). I’ve considered not giving him extra money every month so as to limit his making bad choices about food. I’m also considering cutting down on our monthly visits at my place. It’s complex.
Any advice will be appreciated.

 

[monicatholic]

with my son who is drug addicted (and possibly mentally ill-- he defies diagnosis) we have taken this position: we’ve lovingly told him we cannot give him money because what he does with money is dangerous, maybe even deadly. my husband and i have said these exact words: “our twenty bucks cannot be the cause of your overdose.” my husband has pleaded with him, “please. ask me for something i can give you. ***please.” ***

it’s the hardest, most heart wrenching, worst suffering we’ve ever had-- not being able to give our intensely needy kid something he asks for-- but something that could kill him.

when i’m really struggling with the sorrow of this, i remind myself i wouldnt give my four year old child permission to play in the street, either-- no matter how much she asked me. and i wouldnt give my ten year old keys to the car.

i can’t give my kids (even the adults) things that are clearly harming them.

unless he was dangerous to us, and he never has been, i would ***never ***restrict his visits to our home. i wish they were more often— months go by we dont know where he is… but when he does come, i put away my handbag.

if i were in your situation, i would make my support contingent on his compliance with his health plan.

 

[RosalieM]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply and good advice. I think that’s called “tough love”. But it’s love, nonetheless. God bless you and your family.