Mentoring program for immature adults

[Sarcelle]

I was going to say the United States Marine Corps has a pretty effective program.

The military has a pretty effective program. It was the Air Force that taught me a lot about the value of teamwork and giving 100% of yourself to all you do.

 

[As_for_my_House]

Thank you for the responses. Yes these are people related to me. Yes you’re right to question, who am I to say that they’re immature? But I’m basing this from what’s happening and my observations. I can assure you, the parents are not bailing them out. In fact, these are people that you might say failed several times. Nobody bailed them out. In fact, nobody helped them out.

I think it’s a combination of childhood hurts, bullying, their own temperaments… But I don’t want this to be a blame game. Everyone has a part for the blame. They themselves, parents, teachers, classmates, other experiences.

If I am understanding what immature means to the OP, this is what it means in my family… it involves young adults who are not working or attending school, having babies with no spouses, spending their days posting things on social media and gossiping then going out at night to party.

Are they immature? Maybe there is a better way to describe their behavior. Having lived through a generation of immature adults,( the parents of these young people) and seeing the results of the parents lifestyle choices, I can tell you it does not end well. They do need help.

I suggest 3 things that seem to be lacking for the immature. A good Faith formation, self discipline, and a solid moral code.

The only institution that i can think of that can provide all three is an intact, fully functioning Family.

 

[pensmama87]

If I am understanding what immature means to the OP, this is what it means in my family… it involves young adults who are not working or attending school, having babies with no spouses, spending their days posting things on social media and gossiping then going out at night to party.

Are they immature? Maybe there is a better way to describe their behavior. Having lived through a generation of immature adults,( the parents of these young people) and seeing the results of the parents lifestyle choices, I can tell you it does not end well. They do need help.

I suggest 3 things that seem to be lacking for the immature. A good Faith formation, self discipline, and a solid moral code.

The only institution that i can think of that can provide all three is an intact, fully functioning Family.

This is what I was thinking, too. Unfortunately, once the time is past, it’s very hard for anyone outside of the person to get working on the faith formation, self-discipline, and moral code.

I was thinking of my sister when I initially responded to the OP, who is basically as you describe. We grew up in an intact family, but I wouldn’t describe it as “fully functioning.” Once I got away I was able to see how dysfunctional it was, even though to many people on the outside it looks like we were a wonderful, happy, wholesome family.

I’m at the point where I think my sister has to fail, really fail, to see that she needs to budge to do anything. I’ve tried advice, I’ve tried offering assistance (which has never even been received with a “thank you”) and…nada. She wants to live on her reddit threads and read/write fanfiction. Which unfortunately it seems like my parents are going to let her do as long as she wants. She doesn’t have fancy hobbies. All she needs is an Internet connection and she can waste her time fabulously.

I pray for her. That’s about all that I’ve gathered I can do that will help at all.

 

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

This has helped me immensely:

forums.catholic-questions.org/forumdisplay.php?f=12

Are you looking for a program to recommend to an immature adult, or a program to train you in how to best deal with an immature adult?

Or to turn you into an immature adult?

 

[As_for_my_House]

This is what I was thinking, too. Unfortunately, once the time is past, it’s very hard for anyone outside of the person to get working on the faith formation, self-discipline, and moral code.

I was thinking of my sister when I initially responded to the OP, who is basically as you describe. We grew up in an intact family, but I wouldn’t describe it as “fully functioning.” Once I got away I was able to see how dysfunctional it was, even though to many people on the outside it looks like we were a wonderful, happy, wholesome family.

I’m at the point where I think my sister has to fail, really fail, to see that she needs to budge to do anything. I’ve tried advice, I’ve tried offering assistance (which has never even been received with a “thank you”) and…nada. She wants to live on her reddit threads and read/write fanfiction. Which unfortunately it seems like my parents are going to let her do as long as she wants. She doesn’t have fancy hobbies. All she needs is an Internet connection and she can waste her time fabulously.

I pray for her. That’s about all that I’ve gathered I can do that will help at all.

I think you are onto something about your sister needing to fail but you proably know your parents won’t let this happen. Sadly, constant bail-outs can do more harm then good for an immature person.

 

[MomaMary8]

If I am understanding what immature means to the OP, this is what it means in my family… it involves young adults who are not working or attending school, having babies with no spouses, spending their days posting things on social media and gossiping then going out at night to party.

Are they immature? Maybe there is a better way to describe their behavior. Having lived through a generation of immature adults,( the parents of these young people) and seeing the results of the parents lifestyle choices, I can tell you it does not end well. They do need help.

I suggest 3 things that seem to be lacking for the immature. A good Faith formation, self discipline, and a solid moral code.

The only institution that i can think of that can provide all three is an intact, fully functioning Family.

I think you are on the right track, but I believe instead of a family I’d say The Church. We can’t change how they were raised, but we can help form people spiritually. Pray to their gaurdian Angel, and pray for them daily. Keep your relationship open with them and gradually introduce them to the Beauty of God. Remember, God is in everything, so He can be shown through everything. Even going camping and remarking how beautiful the sky is and a quick “God sure makes beautiful things!” Can be a start. If you can get a person to make a plan for daily prayers, you can go a long way in helping them “mature.” But don’t expect it to go fast…spiritual maturity takes a lifetime!