Confirmation is the seal of baptism. The armor of the Holy Spirit. It was the tradition of the church to give baptism, confirmation, and eucharist all at the same time, in infancy. In the west, theology developed a little differently than in the east and the practices reflect that western tradition.
The west teaches that we are born with a stain of sin on our souls which is washed away at baptism. It teaches that the effects are still present even after the stain is washed away in baptism. They would give an example of a repentant criminal still needing to serve his sentence in jail and still having his record follow him for years after he left jail, affecting his job possibilities. The west teaches that the stain of sin is completely washed away in baptism and then the person is perfectly in union with God until he reaches the age of reason and chooses to sin. At that point, the person needs sacramental grace to strengthen him as he returns to the Lord. Before then, he already has everything. Let the little children come to me, for such is the kingdom of God. It really is a positive and loving approach if you think about it. They saw anointing your baptized baby the same as giving medicine to a healthy man. They saw your child in a spiritual state the rest of us should desire.
They might not have been the best communicators. Or they might have communicated well but you might have been so distraught that a theology lesson was lost on you at the time. Or they might not be well versed in the pastoral care of sick children. The Roman Catholic canon law says an infant in danger of death should receive Confirmation. The priest who confirmed Maximilian was a wise man who took care of your baby’s spiritual needs. What a blessing that you encountered him in your baby’s short life here on earth!
Confirmation is in a no man’s land right now. It wasn’t that long ago that it was administered around the age of reason and then followed by first communion. Priests can baptize and only bishops confirm traditionally, so it makes since that confirmations were pushed out a couple years waiting for the bishop to come around. Any time a person is in danger of death, the sealing of baptism shouldn’t be put off and should be given as soon as possible.
But in the US, confirmation has been pushed out later and later. A lot of educators like it this way because they say it keeps kids coming for religious ed classes as long as a sacrament is dangled as a reward at the end of the stick. Not surprisingly, Confirmation has come to be understood as a coming of age, which is a terrible understanding of the sacrament and shows how little they’re learning in all those extra years of catechesis. But I digress.
About 60 years ago, IIRC, the pope was asked why first communion was happening so late because it used to be that children were communed. First Communion still came after Confirmation then and Confirmation was happening much older. Instead of moving Confirmation back down to a younger age which would have moved Communion down with it, he left Confirmation alone and moved first communion out of order down to the age of reason. It’s no wonder that the average lay Catholic is confused! Or our clerics! It’s all such a mess right now. I’m not surprised that you’ve heard that other priests have done other things. What you need to know is that your baby was taken care of and had the very best the priests could provide.
The west teaches that Maximilian was in a spiritually perfect state, incapable of sin, and assured of salvation. The priests gave him all the spiritual strength he needed for his short journey. You did your job and got him to heaven. It isn’t an easy job being the mother of a saint. It’s OK to be angry, sad, to grieve, and to try to understand. What you’re dealing with now is that you are still on the journey and needing more. And the Church has the sacraments, especially the Eucharist, you’ll need as you continue this journey.
