MERGED: Confessing Horrible Sins/First time confession/Absolved

[nickybr38]

My grandmother, a devout Catholic, and very important person in my life, recently passed away. Since then, I have regularly attended Mass and prayed the rosary daily.

I want to renew my commitment to Catholicism, but I do have a heavy burden pulling at my heart.

I have not confessed since I was very young; almost a decade ago.

In the time since my last confession, I have committed some horrible, heinous, heinous acts which haunt me daily. These are not common sins at all.

I have asked God in prayers many, many times for forgiveness over the years, but never feel better.

I don’t know how I could ever speak out loud some of the awful things I’ve done in my life.

I try to be a better person, and pray daily for forgiveness and the opportunity to help more people than I’ve hurt.

If I had to write down the sins I’ve committed since my last confession and read them all to a priest, I honestly believe he would be horrified and not stand the sight of me again.

The truth is, I don’t think I could ever confess my sins to another person. But I never feel the forgiveness I ask for in my prayers.

I don’t know what to do.

I felt the same way. I too had committed some very heinous and, yes, unusual sins. It took me MONTHS to work up the courage to make an appointment for confession and I was so terrified before hand that I couldn’t sleep.

The day of Confession I prayed and I prayed and begged for strength and courage. To that point I couldn’t even THINK about my sins without sobbing. But when I sat down with Father I was able to speak them, and after there was so much relief. He hugged me once we were done, he didn’t seem disgusted at all! Although I have NO IDEA how he managed not to be… The next day when I saw him he treated me the same as he always had, except maybe a bit more gently! I suppose it’s hard not to, since I did start sobbing after the initial confession! Haha.

What you’re going to do is you’re going to write every single one of those sins down, you’re going to pray for strength and you’re just going to do it. There’s nothing else that can be done.

I will say a prayer for you.

I know people have said this, but just know that the Father has heard sins like yours before. It won’t be anything new to him.

And if you’re confessing sins of beastility the way to say it is: I was impure with an animal. Somehow knowing the right words to express the sin can help.

Also, try listening to Father Larry Richards talk on Confession. Download it here: catholicity.com/cds/confession.html. I know it helped me a LOT and it might help you too.

 

[David89]

Hi everyone,

Hope this is the right place to put my post, I have been searching the forums for answer to my question but have not been able to find what im looking for.

My story goes that i am a fallen away Catholic that wants to return to the church. Ive been doing lots of private study in the area since that time. About 6 months ago i started going to church again (however stopped not long after my confession), and I went to confession for the first time since before my first communion. In the process of my confession I stated all the mortal sins I could remember but I was not aware that I had to confess anything that made the sin more serious. So I omitted one or maybe two (I cant remember) details that made the mortal sin more serious. Eg: Telling the priest about murder, but not saying it was my brother. (Just an example i saw previously). Does this mean that my confession was invalid because i withhold details about a mortal sin, even though i wasnt aware or believed (again i cant quite remember) that i had to explain these details?

My second question is that because i stopped going to church i also failed to perform my assigned penance, is that a sin, and would it make that confession invalid?

Thirdly there is one other event that has occurred that im not sure is a mortal sin. I am not sure if I gave my full consent for the act to occur. And to be honest i cant remember back that far. Could someone explain exactly what full consent entails and is it a mortal sin if i cant remember if i gave consent? But at the same time im worried i am kidding myself, because it is something horrible that i never would even dare to think about and to be honest makes me sick.

Sorry for the long post, but I am worried about my confession, and i want to do it properly. I suffer from some anxiety and i dont want to one day die and still have mortal sins on my soul.

Thanks in Advance.

 

[Rebelecka]

I don’t know that I am qualified to answer your questions; just a lay person, ya know! First I would suggest that you make good preparation; even prior to going to church. I am a convert to Catholicism and in the beginning I had to write things down (I destroyed the paper after confession). Another thing would be to call the parish and ask if you needed to make an appointment to make a general confession (it sounds to me like you are trying to cover your whole life). If it is necessary, do so. If it is not, explain at the beginning of your confession that you are trying to cover your whole life. Now confess all those sins you have written down (BTW, I found that in the beginning I was less nervous reading my list than just trying to remember them). The priest may stop you from time to time to ask for clarification–answer honestly and if you don’t remember, tell him so, particularly if it has been many years ago. Be honest, be thorough. Hope that helps.

 

[teachccd]

Hi everyone,

Hope this is the right place to put my post, I have been searching the forums for answer to my question but have not been able to find what im looking for.

My story goes that i am a fallen away Catholic that wants to return to the church. Ive been doing lots of private study in the area since that time. About 6 months ago i started going to church again (however stopped not long after my confession), and I went to confession for the first time since before my first communion. In the process of my confession I stated all the mortal sins I could remember but I was not aware that I had to confess anything that made the sin more serious. So I omitted one or maybe two (I cant remember) details that made the mortal sin more serious. Eg: Telling the priest about murder, but not saying it was my brother. (Just an example i saw previously). Does this mean that my confession was invalid because i withhold details about a mortal sin, even though i wasnt aware or believed (again i cant quite remember) that i had to explain these details?

My second question is that because i stopped going to church i also failed to perform my assigned penance, is that a sin, and would it make that confession invalid?

Thirdly there is one other event that has occurred that im not sure is a mortal sin. I am not sure if I gave my full consent for the act to occur. And to be honest i cant remember back that far. Could someone explain exactly what full consent entails and is it a mortal sin if i cant remember if i gave consent? But at the same time im worried i am kidding myself, because it is something horrible that i never would even dare to think about and to be honest makes me sick.

Sorry for the long post, but I am worried about my confession, and i want to do it properly. I suffer from some anxiety and i dont want to one day die and still have mortal sins on my soul.

Thanks in Advance.

Number 1- You aare not culpable for whatever you were not aware of in the confessional. Details that increase the gravity of the sin are sometimes necessary but not always and usually the priest will ask for more detail if he deems it necessary. Now, yes, if you mentioned a particular sin, for example that you had sex outside of marriage, he may leave it at that. But if you know that you had sex sith a minor then you should mention that since it adds a whole different dynamic to the sin. BUT if you truly forgot to add that detail your sin is still forgiven. You should mention it in your next confession however.

Number 2- Your penence should be performed as close to your confession as possible but it is not a condition of the validity of the sacrament. Your not going to Mass is a bigger issue than missing your assigned penance. It’s like saying that you need to pick up your grandmother’s mail while she is in the hospital but you make no effort to visit her. It would be better to forget her mail and visit her. But, just remember that while your penance is neceesary to complete it is not part of the validity of the sacrament. If you intentionally did not perform the penance then mention that in your next confession.

Number 3- Mention that sin next time as well. If you are not sure whether you gave complete consent then most chances are you did not commit a mortal sin. But this does not affect your previous confession unless you failed to mention it on purpose knowing that it could have been a mortal sin.

You need to relax. Getting back to confession after being away for a while takes a few confessions to iron out years of sin. Do not question each confession. Enjoy the mercy of God and know that He is on your side not against you. Make confession a regular routine and all of these concerns will dissapear. God loves you and sees your love for Him. Now go in peace and say a prayer for me… teachccd

 

[David89]

Thanks so much for your quick responses!

The advice has really helped, i feel a lot more relaxed, and i guess if i go to confession and forget something i can always go back. And that way even if something were to ever happen then God knows that i was going to confession in order to absolve my sins

I think ill revise my list, add some that i have forgotten, and just suck it up and go and think about the relief of being absolved. Thanks again ill be sure to send some prayers your way. May you keep up the awesome work God Bless.

 

[TrueLight]

Please keep me in prayer. I’m having my first confession soon.

And contrary to my good girl appearance, I have done some things I am quite ashamed of. Please pray that I have courage.

Thanks.

 

[jwinch2]

Please keep me in prayer. I’m having my first confession soon.

And contrary to my good girl appearance, I have done some things I am quite ashamed of. Please pray that I have courage.

Thanks.

Don’t worry. It will be just fine. I would strongly encourage you to make an appointment to meet with a priest outside of normal confession times. Tell him you are a first timer and then just dive in. Start with your hardest sins to face first and the rest will be down hill.

During my first confession, I basically told an abridged version of my entire life story. I felt it helped the priest to see trends and also where I had been at various stages of my life up to the present time.

In my opinion, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is the best thing the Church has going. I know, I know, the Mass is the ultimate expression of our Faith, but think about it for a moment before everyone piles on. If it wasn’t for the remission of sins through the ministry of Christ’s church, none of us would ever be able to receive communion in the first place.

Attached is a guide that one of our RCIA team members put together for those of us who were going through this exact same thing last year. It helped me a great deal and I know she would be thrilled to have it shared with others who may need it. I hope you find it useful…

 

[TrueLight]

Don’t worry. It will be just fine. I would strongly encourage you to make an appointment to meet with a priest outside of normal confession times. Tell him you are a first timer and then just dive in. Start with your hardest sins to face first and the rest will be down hill.

During my first confession, I basically told an abridged version of my entire life story. I felt it helped the priest to see trends and also where I had been at various stages of my life up to the present time.

In my opinion, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is the best thing the Church has going. I know, I know, the Mass is the ultimate expression of our Faith, but think about it for a moment before everyone piles on. If it wasn’t for the remission of sins through the ministry of Christ’s church, none of us would ever be able to receive communion in the first place.

Attached is a guide that one of our RCIA team members put together for those of us who were going through this exact same thing last year. It helped me a great deal and I know she would be thrilled to have it shared with others who may need it. I hope you find it useful…

Thanks so much for your advice. I had my first confession today.

After the first horrific sin, I paused to hear some type of condemantion, but I didn’t get anything like that.

I feel like a new person.

 

[jwinch2]

I feel like a new person.

That’s exactly how I felt and still feel every time I go. Knowing that you have God’s forgiveness and are washed clean in His eyes through the ministry of His Church is a wonderful thing.

Congrats!!!

 

[silicasandra]

That’s exactly how I felt and still feel every time I go. Knowing that you have God’s forgiveness and are washed clean in His eyes through the ministry of His Church is a wonderful thing.

Congrats!!!

Yes, congratulations!!

This thread is exactly what I need today. I am going tonight and although I am committing myself to go more often (I used to go only once a year, if that) it’s amazing what can accumulate in such a short time! But I know that even though I continue to fall, receiving absolution makes me a better Christian. The difference in how I approach my life compared to a few months ago is astonishing (and part of that is being a mom, of course - but then my son’s baptism was the impetus for me to get serious about my faith. )