MERGED: Forced to sing/hold hands during the Our Father

[malphono]

So what is your problem? Get your right hand to hold your left hand and start singing.

That brought to mind a classic post from some time ago in a similar thread:

my brother, my guide to all things trad Catholic, has a suggestion. he sent me two of those bamboo backscratchers with little hands on the end. Just hold them out on either side for the grabbers to take. If you’ve got a wave congregation, just hold them up and shake from side to side.

That just may be the best solution for this on-going problem.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Greetings,
I believe it starts with small things such as holding hands during the Our Father, but it leads to big things such as stripping the sancutary of statues and removing Jesus from the altar to a broom closet. Before you know it your in a pentecostal, full gospel church and not a Catholic Church.
Say the black and do the red. Nothing more, nothing less.

Amen.

 

[Brooke449]

In my community, all of the Catholic churches are “Hand-holding churches” and I do not like it. One time a lady walked all the way down the pew to hold my hand during the Lord’s prayer. I was so surprised I just let her do it. Since then, I keep my guard up and my hands clenched in prayer. I do not like hand-holding during the Lord’s prayer and I will let you know if you grab my hand.

 

[archangel04]

Lol when I’ve seen this happen I will cough into my hands and that pretty much is the end of that lol.

God forbid we hold hands with our fellow Catholics during the Lord’s Prayer.

There are many things to worry about in life without this being such a heavy burden.

At my tiny parish we all hold hands.

It isn’t forced, but I don’t see how friendly it would be for some one to reach out for your hand and you refuse.

Sure, its not in the rubrics, nor is it mandated. However, when a person reaches out to shake your hand do you refuse them?

I mean, its just a matter of using common etiquette with the people you’re with. If they hold hands, don’t be rude and fruadulantly cough or sneeze into your hand as a way of refusing. What’s going on in your heart that would lead you to do such a thing?

Jim

The mass is not time for personal taste, if it’s not part of the Mass than it should not be in it, let alone force anyone to participate in it. I agree it may be “harmless”, althought much bacterai is spread that way, but it always start small, and then can lead to bigger problems. It’s what I like to call the snowball effect.

 

[elgar]

In our church, the priest says “we join together in the Lord’s Prayer.” that does not mean that we have to physically hold hands, and some people don’t. If you want to say the prayer instead of singing it, do that.

In a nearby church, many more people do NOT hold hands. This is optional. If it bothers you, try to visit another church that is a little more traditional.

Or, attend EF Mass and this issue would never come up because it would be so out of character with all the other gestures.

If one’s bishop forbids the practice and your priest and congregation continue to hold hands then you are a defiant bunch and don’t respect higher church authority.

I often wonder who started this corny practice anyway. It sure has caught on. I’m surprised someone hasn’t said V2 has mandated it.

 

[angelic06]

God forbid we hold hands with our fellow Catholics during the Lord’s Prayer.

There are many things to worry about in life without this being such a heavy burden.

At my tiny parish we all hold hands.

It isn’t forced, but I don’t see how friendly it would be for some one to reach out for your hand and you refuse.

Sure, its not in the rubrics, nor is it mandated. However, when a person reaches out to shake your hand do you refuse them?

I mean, its just a matter of using common etiquette with the people you’re with. If they hold hands, don’t be rude and fruadulantly cough or sneeze into your hand as a way of refusing. What’s going on in your heart that would lead you to do such a thing?

Jim

And what about charity on the part of the person “reaching” out to you? If you don’t want to hold hands but they persist, are they not the ones being uncharitable?

One way to solve the problem, clasp your fingers of one hand around the other, closed, hand, like a fist—hold close your own body, and close your eyes. And ignore the other worshippers. Their right to extend their hand ceases when they get near your body. Case closed. And the other person, therefore, is being the burden, not you.

 

[melchesidechpio]

Is this allowed? I’m looking for documentation from Rome or the USCCB that discourages this practice, but I am not finding it. Could someone please provide help.

you are certainly not obligated to hold hands. Nowhere in the GIRM does it state that it is required. My priest is trying to discourage the practice of holding hands during the Pater Noster, but no one seems to listen to him

 

[laszlo]

Here is the article about it divulged in 2003 when in started

ewtn.com/library/liturgy/zlitur10.htm

I personally believe that no community has the right to force me anything; so until I attended a Church where this was done I just made an ‘I am sorry gesture’. My recent Church does not make even rite of peace handshakings, and the masses are reverent and beautiful.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Here is the article about it divulged in 2003 when in started

ewtn.com/library/liturgy/zlitur10.htm

I personally believe that no community has the right to force me anything; so until I attended a Church where this was done I just made an ‘I am sorry gesture’. My recent Church does not make even rite of peace handshakings, and the masses are reverent and beautiful.

The handshake thing I believe is North American in nature. When I come across other Asians, its 50/50 if they will extend their hands for a handshake or not. For me I just react.

 

[archangel04]

What a wonderful way to treat each other at Mass, eh?

Jim

Well he is obeying his bishop who has the final authority in that region. So I ask you who truly is the charitable one? Those in disobedience? Or this person who has remain obedient to the Bishop?

 

[brina1416]

I go to a fairly large parish and some people hold hands during the Our Father and some don’t. No one is forced to do anything. It doesn’t bother me. I wonder why it is looked down upon by some people though?
It bothers me more actually when I see people hold their arms up in the same position the priest is holding his arms up during the Our Father.

 

[VBibleSociety]

Here is the article about it divulged in 2003 when in started

ewtn.com/library/liturgy/zlitur10.htm

I personally believe that no community has the right to force me anything; so until I attended a Church where this was done I just made an ‘I am sorry gesture’. My recent Church does not make even rite of peace handshakings, and the masses are reverent and beautiful.

Thank you.

 

[mdgspencer]

I was at a mass where a wacky priest in my area ordered everyone into the center of the church to hold hands. (This wasn’t the only thing that he did.)
Since such things are not a part of the liturgy, I consider them optional and won’t do it, unless, perhaps, I think the other person will be bewitched, bothered and bewildered if I don’t
Sometimes I will put my hands in my pockets then so someone can’t forceably grab them.

 

[oneGODoneCHURCH]

I don’t hold hands, I close my eyes, bow my head, and claps my hands, rarely has anyone reached out for my hand when doing this. I wish it would stop. However, I do not see it as a major issue that people do hold hands.

 

[OraLabora]

All this sort of nonsense is why I prefer to attend Mass at a Benedictine monastery where decorum and reserve reigns.

We still do the sign of the peace but that does happen to have a long monastic tradition, so I do it, but it’s done relatively innocuously, nobody leave’s their spot, a quick handshake with those around us.

The Gregorian chant is a major bonus

 

[TX_Michele]

What a wonderful way to treat each other at Mass, eh?

Jim

This is exactly why we, our family, quit holding hands during the Our Father. A priest (fairly young priest) instructed us on the appropriateness of this, basically telling us that the Our Father is not about communing with each other, but with God, our father. The greeting afterward, “Peace be with you” is when we commune with each other. Before that, we had started holding hands due to our previous parish’s tradition, though I was never comfortable with it, I went along to ‘maintain’ the status quo.

And you know what, he is right! Though there isn’t anything inherently wrong with it, it shouldn’t be forced or make others uncomfortable. We choose to focus on God, not each other. Once we stopped, I noticed how often the hand holding is a total distraction for many, especially with children, as they wrangle with each other before, during and after the prayer. And it is very distracting for me to have a couple of kids near me wrestling over the hand holding.

Now, having said all of that, if someone wants to hold hands and it is spontaneous and not instructed to do so by the priest, that is fine. But a priest is neither suppose instruct the congregation to do so nor is he suppose to forbid it.

Whether or not your parish holds hands isn’t the point and it isn’t rude to not want to hold hands just because most do. If someone, like myself, wants to focus solely on God during a prayer to him, then they shouldn’t be made to feel bad, or have to escape into the aisle to avoid it. Why is it okay for someone to force someone else to hold a hand when it is not what they want? Where is your common etiquette in allowing people to praise in the manner they wish?

Michele

 

[Beachcomber]

You shouldn’t be forced to hold hands–like someone grabs your hand. That is rude. It has not happened to me, but should it, I would simply unhook the person from me and move.

I

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Have you ever felt that you were forced to participate in the hand holding during the Our Father?

It seems that there are some users who deny that anyone can feel forced to do so.

I would add that having the priest celebrating Mass telling the congregation to hold hands at the Our Father is just one way to force this.

 

[Shoshana]

And I so desire that they get rid of this…it does not belong in a Holy Mass…I don’t care about germs. I care about the reverence and lack thereof…

 

[LemonAndLime]

This isn’t done in my parish, the only contact we have between each other is shaking hands and saying “peace be with you” with everyone nearby at one point, can’t remember when that happens.