MERGED: Forced to sing/hold hands during the Our Father

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Some in our parish hold hands, but I’ve never been forced to, nor have any of our priests said anything to encourage people to do it.

But since there ARE some who do it …to preemptively avoid it, I fold my hands prayerfully in front of me and close my eyes while saying the Our Father 🙂
 
I don’t think this is done in the UK if it is it must be very rare.I have been to many different parishes all around the country over many years and that is not the practice.I think it may be uniquely American
 
Yes! I had someone force me by grabbing my wrist first and then my hand. I had my hands clasped in front of me and my eyes closed as I started to recite the Our Father and the person beside me was very forceful.
 
PatriceA said:
Yes! I had someone force me by grabbing my wrist first and then my hand. I had my hands clasped in front of me and my eyes closed as I started to recite the Our Father and the person beside me was very forceful.
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Same for me. The lady was determined I hold her hand. 😦 I’ve seen her do this with other people. I make sure, I don’t sit next to her now.
 
The individuals that forcefully do this need to be warned about unwanted physical contact. Actions have consequences, even during Mass.

If it does not make us more holy or add to our worship of our Savior on the altar it should not be done.

I do not hold hands at Mass, not even with my wife, and I really love to hold her hand.

Some of the actions during the Our Father remind me of those scoring a goal or a touchdown sometimes. I am waiting for someone to dance down the aisle pointing skyward as they spike the songbook.

Eddie Mac
 
The only time I ever felt “forced” to hold hands was once when I was next to a mentally disabled man. He clearly wanted to hold my hand and I didn’t have the heart to refuse.
 
Eddie_Mac said:
The individuals that forcefully do this need to be warned about unwanted physical contact. Actions have consequences, even during Mass.

If it does not make us more holy or add to our worship of our Savior on the altar it should not be done.

I do not hold hands at Mass, not even with my wife, and I really love to hold her hand.

Some of the actions during the Our Father remind me of those scoring a goal or a touchdown sometimes. I am waiting for someone to dance down the aisle pointing skyward as they spike the songbook.

Eddie Mac
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I even have nightmares of liturgical dancing AROUND the altar.:eek:
 
Since I am not yet permitted to vote in polls, I will comment. I haven’t really been forced to hold hands, since I haven’t been against it. I have seen people forced to, so it does happen regardless of what some think. If someone puts their hand out, I hold their hand. I don’t think anyone should be forced to. Some people don’t like it and others are just uncomfortable doing it. I certainly don’t think it’s wrong to do it, but I do believe it would be wrong to force someone to. I personally just like holding my family’s hands, but I’ll hold anyones. It doesn’t bother me. And like I said, it’s symbolic for unity.
 
It’s understated and very optional at our home parish, but I experienced a particularly bad case yesterday. While visiting in-laws I went to daily mass to check out a local parish. There were maybe 30 of us, spread out around the pews over the front half of the church.

When the Lord’s Prayer came, there was this mad shifting of people around, reaching over pews, etc. so everyone could hold hands. Someone leapt from a row or two back up next to me and demanded my hand.

The Our Father is a prayer to God, and the whole holding hands thing tends to make it more of a fellowship moment. All the shifting around these guys did REALLY interrupted the flow and the spiritual moment.

We went to a different local parish on Christmas Eve, and the congregation was OK - some families held hands but there was nothing forced. BUT, the priest with his half dozen altar servers all held hands during the Our Father! I’ve not seen the celebrant practice this extension to the liturgical norms (i.e. abuse) before.

Perhaps this is a Michigan thing?
 
braumeister said:
And like I said, it’s symbolic for unity.
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And that is the problem. It is a misunderstanding of the Mass.

The Our Father is not the time during the Mass that unity is shown. The Eucharist is the sign of unity in the Mass.
 
I’m in Trinidad in the Caribbean, and over the past 10 years it has become a norm for everyone to hold hands during the Our Father. Because I went to a Catholic High School and never had to practice this, it is never something I wish to do with non family.

I know this may seem a bit controversial but (to me) it is more of a performance than any kind of spiritual connection. Parishioners hold hands at waist level for the first part and raise them to chest level for the second. Many raise their palms outward and upward for every response. A lot of this started with new members keeping a lot of their old practices while attempting to show greater participation … pretty soon it became the “new” addition to the celebration.

I personally prefer to keep my hands to myself, as I was taught through out my life in church, but the many stares and raised eyebrows of condescension has ‘forced’ me to oblige.
 
IN the South it was bigger than it was in the North. In the North certain masses seem to have it where certain don’t and the people that are holding hands are usually the people that know the people around them in those more traditional masses.
 
tbcrawford said:
I don’t think this is done in the UK if it is it must be very rare.I have been to many different parishes all around the country over many years and that is not the practice.I think it may be uniquely American
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Our sIxty year-old priest invited us, if we were “free and easy”’, to “hold hands” during the Our Father at the Christmas Mass last night and this parish is in the U.K. it seems it’s spreading. Great!
 
Eddie_Mac said:
The individuals that forcefully do this need to be warned about unwanted physical contact. Actions have consequences, even during Mass.

I agree, but in this context, what are the consequences? The “victim” can’t really step or run away, shout or otherwise do something that one might do if grabbed on the street…like kicking them in the…ahem…shin.

If it does not make us more holy or add to our worship of our Savior on the altar it should not be done.

It does for some, apparently. 😉
I do not hold hands at Mass, not even with my wife, and I really love to hold her hand.

Some of the actions during the Our Father remind me of those scoring a goal or a touchdown sometimes. I am waiting for someone to dance down the aisle pointing skyward as they spike the songbook.

Or do the Icky shuffle?
Eddie Mac
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JerryS said:
Perhaps this is a Michigan thing?
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Nope.
ByzCath said:
And that is the problem. It is a misunderstanding of the Mass.

The Our Father is not the time during the Mass that unity is shown. The Eucharist is the sign of unity in the Mass.
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When we say “**Our **Father” is is not a sign of unity? When we say it all together it is not a sign of unity??

Beg to differ. While the handholding part is not a prescribed sign of unity, praying together sure is! In fact, the entire concept of the mass, i.e. public worship is a sign of unity, no?
 
No one can FORCE you to hold hands with anyone else. If you do not wish to hold hands, don’t. It really is that simple…

If you feel pressured to hold hands, sit somewhere else.
 
Personally I see no purpose served by being forced to hold hands at the Our Father.
I find it disruptive and disrespectful.

And I too will not hold hands at the Our Father.

Last night during Christmas Eve Mass the visiting priest forced everyone in the congregation to stand during the Consecration. Traditionally in our parish we all kneel during consecration. His reasoning was that due to 1/4 of the kneelers in the parish being repaired that not all in the parish are able to kneel. I heard some say after Mass that the parish wanted to remove all the kneelers. And its not because the parish can’t afford to repair the kneelers in need of minor repairs.

Nothing surprises me when it comes to new changes happening in the church.
 
centurionguard said:
Personally I see no purpose served by being forced to hold hands at the Our Father.
I find it disruptive and disrespectful.

And I too will not hold hands at the Our Father.

Last night during Christmas Eve Mass the visiting priest forced everyone in the congregation to stand during the Consecration. Traditionally in our parish we all kneel during consecration. His reasoning was that due to 1/4 of the kneelers in the parish being repaired that not all in the parish are able to kneel. I heard some say after Mass that the parish wanted to remove all the kneelers. And its not because the parish can’t afford to repair the kneelers in need of minor repairs.

Nothing surprises me when it comes to new changes happening in the church.
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I was once in a Church where the average age of the parishioner was around 80. There were no kneelers - you know what everyone did - kneeled on the floor. There is no excuse not to kneel before Christ.
 
joandarc2008 said:
I was once in a Church where the average age of the parishioner was around 80. There were no kneelers - you know what everyone did - kneel on the floor. There is no excuse not to kneel before Christ.
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There is no excuse not to kneel before Christ
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👍

Makes me think who were the avant-garde aristocrats in my parish kicking up a stink that they didn’t want to kneel because they might have gotten their knees slightly dusted.

There’s no snow in south-eastern Canada yet.

Merry Christmas!
 
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