MERGED: How Long should a typical confession take?

[Cider]

No, generally speaking, it shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to confess your sins in kind and number, and circumstances when required. The problem is a lot of people don’t know how to confess their sins properly and need to be re-catechized on how to go to confession as well as purpose of amendment in order for confession to be valid. Be brief. Be blunt. Be gone. Our priests average 5 minutes or less per person, and even then they’ll be in the confessional for 3-4 hours.

I wouldn’t presume to know the amount of time another person needs. For all I know that person may not have been to confession in years and have a pressing need. it’s not my business. Like I said, I’m just grateful they are there.

 

[rfournier103]

My answer is “as long as it takes”.

Priests tend to want to hurry it along, so I start reflecting about an hour before; and just start talking when I get in there and don’t stop 'till it’s all out.

I also make sure to mention “…and I am sorry for any sins that I may have forgotten”.

Usually takes me about 5 mins. I always go in with the same stuff. If not for the requirement that the penitent must confess aloud; my confessor could say “back again with the usual?” Then I could reply “yep”. And then the priest could just move on to the absolution. (it would be quicker that way)

 

[TimothyH]

Sometimes it is not the penitent but the priest that takes a long time.

I went to one priest who gave me a homily. Dude just went on and on…

I was first in and everyone gave me the evil eye when I came out. I just said, “It wasn’t me. He wouldn’t shut up.”

-Tim-

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Confession seems to be for people with the luxury of time. Now I see why there’s a problem with getting people to go. Would you give the same advice if I said someone stood and talked to the priest for 10 minutes during Eucharist? No, because there’s an expectation of what you do. Isn’t there an expectation for confession as well? Get in, get out, don’t make others wait on you? List your sins and the number of times, don’t get into all the details or whatever you’re doing in there.

That’s like going into the restroom at a concert and reading a magazine. Forget all those people behind me waiting - this is MY special time. lol

Although it’s generally rather short, sometimes people require longer. I’d recommend checking other parishes to see if their confession times suit you better. Otherwise, schedule an appointment.

I usually go to my parish to confess but there are 4-5 others nearby that I’ll go to when needed. One is always packed but they have 2-4 priests on duty and it goes quickly. Another usually only has half a dozen people there but the priest is very old and takes his time. There’s no guarantee of getting in at that parish.

And as others have stated, it’s not always the penitent’s fault. I went a few months ago and had a single sin to confess. I figured I’d be out in about two minutes. The priest had all sorts of questions and advice about what I brought up, though, and it took over twenty minutes. Another time I showed up early because I had a couple more than normal and a question I needed to ask but still didn’t think it would take much longer than five minutes. That sparked an even longer question & answer/advice session. I ended up being in the confessional for over 45 minutes. In both cases I was the only one who showed up that day so it didn’t impact anyone else (the priest even checked a couple times during the really long one).

 

[pensmama87]

Sometimes it is not the penitent but the priest that takes a long time.

I went to one priest who gave me a homily. Dude just went on and on…

I was first in and everyone gave me the evil eye when I came out. I just said, “It wasn’t me. He wouldn’t shut up.”

-Tim-

Generally, when I go to a posted time for confession and know that I can’t stay super long, I try to get there as close to the start as I can, and then estimate 5 minutes per person in line ahead of me. That usually works close enough for me for my purposes. I have had to leave before simply because the line was too long, or people take a long time, but I figure that’s on me and my schedule. When I go, I prefer to go at times I know I have time to wait, and I’ll pray in line or do spiritual reading.

Recently I did run into a situation where posted confession times were only half an hour, I got there five minutes before, with DH, with one person already in the confessional so DH was next. By the time I was done (granted, I had a person cut in front of me since I was wrangling children in the pew) it was almost over. Definitely a talky priest. I try to be as succinct as possible.

 

[Joan_M]

The way I look at it is this - if I go to the doctor I will expect that he or she gives me exactly the time needed for me to tell him my symptoms, answer his questions, for him to physically examine me to and come to a diagnoses or a decision to send me for tests or to see a consultant. Whatever time that needs.

Confession is the same. We are showing our wounds to the spiritual doctor. Our confession will take whatever time is needed and we should not make a fuss about some taking longer than we would like.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

The way I look at it is this - if I go to the doctor I will expect that he or she gives me exactly the time needed for me to tell him my symptoms, answer his questions, for him to physically examine me to and come to a diagnoses or a decision to send me for tests or to see a consultant. Whatever time that needs.

Confession is the same. We are showing our wounds to the spiritual doctor. Our confession will take whatever time is needed and we should not make a fuss about some taking longer than we would like.

My doctor’s office has signs posted throughout the waiting room reminding patients that seeing the doctor should only take 10 minutes and if they have more than one health issue to discuss, to make an appointment.

 

[Kelfa28]

Sometimes it is not the penitent but the priest that takes a long time.

I went to one priest who gave me a homily. Dude just went on and on…

I was first in and everyone gave me the evil eye when I came out. I just said, “It wasn’t me. He wouldn’t shut up.”

-Tim-

This has been the vast majority of why confession can take so long.

I went to my regular parish for confession and our Priest is always short and straight to the point.
If you are straight to the point…then confession won’t take longer then a minute or two.

I always get to Confession on time…when it starts and I’ll usually be first or second in line.

I was third in line, this one particular time and the first guy who went in took a whopping twenty minutes.
I couldn’t believe it!

The lady in front of me waved me to go next and I whispered to her…“don’t worry, I’ll be quick” and I went in.

It was a different Priest hearing confession that day and I only had one or two small things to confess but he just went on and on and on and on.
I had no idea how long it took but it was definitely longer then five minutes. Way longer.
The lady who waved me in had an awful look on her face and the rest of the line behind her had left.
I shrugged and said…“it’s him…he’s a talker!”

It’s very tough to concentrate when a Priest just keeps talking. I think the message gets lost pretty quickly.
Plus it doesn’t help other people waiting in line who have schedules to keep…especially if they have work, kids, appointments and other things that need to be addressed.

Confession is very important but it really is a pet peeve of mine to feel like I’m being held hostage in the booth or doing my part to get there exactly on time and still have to wait nearly 45 minutes to go confess.

Priests should learn to be short and sweet with the advice they give. Otherwise the message is just lost.
For the ones confessing…if it takes 10-15 minutes to list out everything you want to confess…do us all a favor and just make an appointment.

 

[jmcrae]

Hey, I’m a recent convert (just since Easter) and I hadn’t had a confession since Easter. During RCIA, I thought the priest said that confession is not spiritual counseling - if you want that, make an appt with the priest. I went for the first time today (since Easter) and there were only 12 people ahead of me, but in the 25 minutes I was standing there, only 3 people went in (I thought there were 2 priests). How long do you expect a line to move? I left with 8 or so still ahead of me, but at that rate, I wasn’t getting in there for another hour. I have to get back to work, you know?!

So how the heck do you confess and still hold a job? They need an appt book, or take a numbr and come back in an hour. lol

People take too long at confession, can’t take Host until I confess now. Wanted to vent. Now I have another sin to confess if I ever get to the front of the line.

Around here, or at least most of the places where i go to Confession, it takes about five minutes or so per person. The priests are not generally too talkative, most of the time.

Where I go for holidays, they are talkative in the Confessional - if you can find them at all. I have on more than one occasion pounded on the Rectory door to let the priest know that people were waiting for him to come and hear their Confessions - and then they take about 15 or 20 minutes in there with each person.

 

[ccmcmg]

Hey, I’m a recent convert (just since Easter) and I hadn’t had a confession since Easter. During RCIA, I thought the priest said that confession is not spiritual counseling - if you want that, make an appt with the priest. I went for the first time today (since Easter) and there were only 12 people ahead of me, but in the 25 minutes I was standing there, only 3 people went in (I thought there were 2 priests). How long do you expect a line to move? I left with 8 or so still ahead of me, but at that rate, I wasn’t getting in there for another hour. I have to get back to work, you know?!

So how the heck do you confess and still hold a job? They need an appt book, or take a numbr and come back in an hour. lol

People take too long at confession, can’t take Host until I confess now. Wanted to vent. Now I have another sin to confess if I ever get to the front of the line.

Welcome to the Faith!

I understand the frustration of waiting, especially when we can’t receive the Body of Christ until we confess. Although I didn’t like it, it gave me a great lesson in humility (not humiliation), and even more of an appreciation at being able to receive the Body and Blood of Christ. It might even give you more pause, as you might think of that before committing whatever sin is keeping you from Communion. I learn the appreciation and gratitude of the Lord, as opposed to whatever sin I’m about to succumb to.

There may be a time when you need more time in the Confessional. Or perhaps, that’s when we are supposed to learn something, besides just receiving the sacrament. Patience, charity, appreciation, and to quit thinking about myself so much… At least, those are a few of the things I learned.

I’ve been to parishes that always have long confession lines, and others that have none. I’ve always felt sad at the ones that didn’t have any lines. What a joy people are missing out on.

God bless you!!

 

[Mary_Ellen]

My confessions generally take 5 minutes or less, and that’s weekly confession with a list of 8-12 sins each week. I like what a PP wrote “be brief, be blunt, be gone.” If it takes longer, it’s because the priest has more advice than usual.

As for standing in line, I try very hard not too. I try to get to church 1/2 hour early so that I can be first in line. Very often I am the cantor at the mass following confessions and I don’t have the luxury of waiting long as I need to get myself ready for the coming mass. I also have badly arthritic knees and it hurts to stand in line. I can sit in the pew nearest the confessional until the priest shows up and other folks respect that I’ve been waiting the longest so I can just go to the front of the line if folks have already queued up. I realize that this method wouldn’t work for the OP but it works for me.

 

[BobRoss]

I figured I would get answers like Monicad’s - thank God for their souls. I hear ya, but when you need to get in as well, and there’s a line, let’s be courteous as well. There are a lot of condescending answers here when it’s not you standing in line on your short lunch break.

“Do you need to learn patience?” is a condescending way of replying to anyone. If the priest kept you in Mass for 7 hours, couldn’t the same be said if you grumbled? lol Thanks for the advice for a new convert guys.

 

[jmcrae]

I figured I would get answers like Monicad’s - thank God for their souls. I hear ya, but when you need to get in as well, and there’s a line, let’s be courteous as well. There are a lot of condescending answers here when it’s not you standing in line on your short lunch break.

“Do you need to learn patience?” is a condescending way of replying to anyone. If the priest kept you in Mass for 7 hours, couldn’t the same be said if you grumbled? lol Thanks for the advice for a new convert guys.

It takes all kinds to make up a Universal Church.

I feel your pain. I got left standing the last time I tried to go to Confession, too. I waited until after Confessions started before getting in line, and I suppose what happened was that the priest calculated his time by how many people were in line when he went in at the start.

I’ve been meaning to try again, but I keep getting in my own way.

Next time for sure, though, I’m going to plan ahead and get there before the priest does.

 

[JimG]

I think our priests have all figured out that even if the line is short when they enter the confessional, it will keep growing. They keep the confessions short and to the point of the sacrament, and nearly always will ask that the act of contrition be said back in the pew along with one’s penance. It moves along quickly.

 

[Memaw]

I figured I would get answers like Monicad’s - thank God for their souls. I hear ya, but when you need to get in as well, and there’s a line, let’s be courteous as well. There are a lot of condescending answers here when it’s not you standing in line on your short lunch break.

“Do you need to learn patience?” is a condescending way of replying to anyone. If the priest kept you in Mass for 7 hours, couldn’t the same be said if you grumbled? lol Thanks for the advice for a new convert guys.

The priest as well as the penitent should be thoughtful of others and if a confession is to be a long one, I think an appointment should be made so both can take as much time as needed. I think some folks use the confession as a gab session at times. Many times it’s the same penitent that takes long. I always feel sorry for people who wait a long time and then have the priest walk out before they get a chance to Confess. Those folks are important too. God Bless, Memaw

 

[Kielbasi]

How long do you expect a line to move? I left with 8 or so still ahead of me, but at that rate, I wasn’t getting in there for another hour. I have to get back to work, you know?!
…

People take too long at confession, can’t take Host until I confess now. Wanted to vent. Now I have another sin to confess if I ever get to the front of the line.

Confession times are pretty flexible, really depends on how many sins the penitent has to confess and how quickly he can speak.

Patience is a virtue, my friend

 

[mommakate]

I feel your frustration, it’s hard to get into confession at my parish too. Confession is offered for one hour, twice a week. It takes a long time for each person to confess and that’s mostly because our pastor likes to talk and give lots of advice.

I have to leave work early to get to the Saturday afternoon confession and the Thursday evening confession takes place right when I need to be feeding my daughter and getting her to bed. I have to drive 20 minutes into town to get to my parish and there isn’t another one closer than an hour drive from me. I can’t count the number of times I’ve left work early or pushed back my babies bedtime only to not get in because it’s taking as long as 10-15 minutes per person. It’s frustrating. I want to confess my sins, I want to be able to recieve Jesus each Sunday. But it seems like I’m not able to get into confession as often as I am able to get in.

I miss the parish we went to in my husbands home town. Lots of confession times, wonderful orthodox priests, rarely took more than 5 minutes per person.

 

[Jon_S_1]

So I go to confession yesterday and was about 7 people back in the line…1 hour later it was my turn, the confessional on the other side of the church I saw 3 people go in during that 1 hour.

I have often noticed that a few people take a lot longer in the confessional, and I always just figured this was do to maybe face to face confession and treating it more like spiritual direction, conversation, counseling, than simply confess and be absolved.

But yesterday I began to wonder if I am doing it wrong or something. It just seemed like everyone spent at least 10 minutes in there and I spent 5 and felt that was a bit longer than usual for me.

Anyway, I thought that I would pose the question here.

Do you have long regular confessions? and if so, what is it structured like?

Thanks!

 

[AngelusDomini]

Time in confession will vary from place to place and person to person. Some people may have a lot to get off their chest and will naturally take longer, however, if confession is only for a short set time (e.g. 30 minutes) it would probably be better to make an appointment with a confessor than take up a chunk of the time set aside. Personally, I’d feel quite selfish if I settled into the box for 20 minutes knowing there were others waiting.

Also depends on the priest, some give quite lengthy advice and others very little. I try to go once a fortnight (sometimes weekly) and am usually in and out within five minutes - what a difference I feel though after those few brief minutes! If I know I have something on my mind which will need some more discussion I will either book an appointment or ask my parish priest if he could spare some time after Mass. Hope that helps.

 

[Mark121359]

So I go to confession yesterday and was about 7 people back in the line…1 hour later it was my turn, the confessional on the other side of the church I saw 3 people go in during that 1 hour.

I have often noticed that a few people take a lot longer in the confessional, and I always just figured this was do to maybe face to face confession and treating it more like spiritual direction, conversation, counseling, than simply confess and be absolved.

But yesterday I began to wonder if I am doing it wrong or something. It just seemed like everyone spent at least 10 minutes in there and I spent 5 and felt that was a bit longer than usual for me.

Anyway, I thought that I would pose the question here.

Do you have long regular confessions? and if so, what is it structured like?

Thanks!

No. I get in there and confess my sins in a simple and concise manner and move on. I’m very conscious of, and respectful of the others waiting in line knowing there’s only a limited amount of time for confession in the first place. And you are absolutely correct in your observation that many treat confession as an opportunity for spiritual direction, conversation, counseling, rather than simply confess their sins and be absolved.

Peace, Mark