MERGED: How to confess numerous sins?/real confession

[Brendan_64]

Having been raised Lutheran, we never had individual confession, and I am struggling with the reason a priest needs to individually “hear” the sins enumerated, rather than confession in Mass being enough. I see no reason a Priest cannot bind or loose sins in general (and normally I would think “loose” them) in the Mass by saying something akin to “if you are truly repentant in your Heart for the sins you have committed then I absolve you of your sins”, therefore opening the way for Eucharist.

When we sin, we separate ourselves, not only from God, but from each other as we distance ourselves from the Body of Christ on Earth. Humility is important and having to tell another person what sins we have committed is a humbling experience. By telling the priest we are also telling a fellow member of the Church on Earth. Confession isn’t simply about being sorry, it is about showing the humility to admit one’s sin openly to another. The embarrassment experienced in doing so is miniscule in comparison to the hurt we have inflicted upon God and our fellow man through our sins. We ought to get over the ‘embarrassment’ factor and think about the harm we have inflicted through our sins.

It’s like in Alcoholics Anonymous where we are to admit the exact nature of our wrongs to someone else. When we do this, it FORCES us out of our denial.

 

[BenP]

Yes you will have to generalize to an extent “I committed x frequently”

In addition it helps to use a form/script for example.

“Bless me Fr. this is my first confession (It has been x since my last confession)
during my life (since that time) I have committed the sins of
X frequently.
Y twice
z about once a month or so
et cetera
For these and all the sins of my life and any I do not remember I am sorry.”

You’re going to feel great afterward.

 

[Bookcat]

Well, you go down like this…1st commandment…10 times, 20 times…100 times, 1000 times, a dozen times, dozens of times.

2nd commandment…

3rd commandment…

4th commandment…

and I generally just add a little information if it makes a sin serious or less serious

:

Regarding venial sins --one does not need to give any numbers…and of course one does not need to confess all of them (though one can add “and all my sins” etc). One may be general yes.

Regarding mortal sins one needs to be “more specific”.

Murder 2x, adultery 2x, fornication 3x etc. (or if one does not after ones examine of conscience know the actual number one may approximate according to what one does know…around 5x or at times many times etc)

See JImmy Akin Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers: jimmyakin.com/2007/03/specific_confes.html

 

[ThunderFox]

I was baptized as a catholic when i was young i never really got serious about religion until this year due to problems in my life(excess drinking stuff like that). Anyways i am thinking of scheduling an appointment for confession and see what i should do next. But my question is am i going to have to confess every single sin that i remember for the last 23 years of my life? If so i imagine its going to take a while

 

[christinme]

I was away from the Catholic Church for 42 yrs, and committed many, many mortal sins during that time. I went to confession 1 1/2 yrs ago, and I encourage you to do the same as soon as possible. I googled “how to make a good confession” and looked at several sites to give me an idea how to do an examination of conscience. I prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to help me make a good confession. I typed out all of my sins and then went to confession with an entire type written page full. It really only took about 10minutes … no details are necessary … just state the sin and how many times. I committed sins thousands of times, and some hundreds of times in 42 years, and that’s exactly how I stated it to the priest. I cannot tell you how great it felt to get rid of that burden of sin, and have the freedom to live for Christ and receive the Eucharist is exciting beyond words. Since that confession, I occasionally remember a sin that I did not confess at that first confession, so I confess that sin the next time I go. It was not fun preparing for that first confession and stating all those sins in front of the priest, but when he said, “I absolve you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” I knew without a doubt that God had forgiven me and welcomed me back to His church. Please go to confession as soon as you can! And, then go regularly.

 

[nikoletodd]

If you have a calling to come back and feel the need to purge yourself from sin…I deeply suggest that you make an appointment to see the father one on one. It’s uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as seeing the people waiting in line for the confessional and your confession time running into mass and them not getting their sins heard. Yes…I am speaking from experience.

Welcome back to the faith. Confession is my favorite part of the faith. It’s coming out completely clean and the feeling of light is undeniable.

 

[KrazyKat]

I was baptized as a catholic when i was young i never really got serious about religion until this year due to problems in my life(excess drinking stuff like that). Anyways i am thinking of scheduling an appointment for confession and see what i should do next. But my question is am i going to have to confess every single sin that i remember for the last 23 years of my life? If so i imagine its going to take a while

You were wise to make an appointment. It seems more difficult then it will turn out to be. I found the mortal sins the most difficult so I confessed those first. The relief and blessings you feel after you are done cannot be expressed in words. May God Bless you abundantly.

 

[achmafooma]

I was baptized as a catholic when i was young i never really got serious about religion until this year due to problems in my life(excess drinking stuff like that). Anyways i am thinking of scheduling an appointment for confession and see what i should do next. But my question is am i going to have to confess every single sin that i remember for the last 23 years of my life? If so i imagine its going to take a while

Hello, ThunderFox! First and foremost, my congratulations to you for taking steps to reconcile with God, and with his church.

The short answer is: Yes, you are going to have to confess every mortal sin you have committed as best as you can remember them. Since you were Baptized as an infant, that means all sins from the age of reason (i.e., when you were old enough to know right from wrong) until right now.

I was raised in a protestant denomination, so when I became a Catholic as an adult I also found myself having to recount many, many sins – especially those from my teenaged years. One thing that surprised my about my first confession was that it really didn’t take that long.

Why? Well, we need to confess each sin in ‘kind and number.’ It doesn’t take much longer to say ‘I did XYZ at least once a week over twenty years’ as opposed to ‘I did XYZ three times.’

I found that most of my sins were the same thing over and over…so I was saying a lot of things like ‘I did this many times every week over a two year period’ and ‘I did this more times than I can remember over many years.’ It did take longer than my subsequent confessions have, but it didn’t take hours or anything.

I recommend that you sit down beforehand with a good examination of conscience, write down your sins and your best approximation of how many for each, so you will be prepared to receive the sacrament. (Be sure to burn, shred, or otherwise destroy the list afterwards!) This way, you won’t need to be doing a lot of soul-searching right there on the spot trying to remember everything.

Also don’t stress about missing something. What matters is that you honestly intend to make a full, complete, honest confession. As long as you do that, the sins are forgiven – including those you have forgotten. If you remember other sins later, you can bring them with you to a later confession (and just say, ‘I remembered this sin [or these sins] that I had forgotten about and have not yet confessed’).

I hope this helps. God bless!

 

[ClearWater]

Regarding venial sins --one does not need to give any numbers…and of course one does not need to confess all of them (though one can add “and all my sins” etc). One may be general yes.

Regarding mortal sins one needs to be “more specific”.

Murder 2x, adultery 2x, fornication 3x etc. (or if one does not after ones examine of conscience know the actual number one may approximate according to what one does know…around 5x or at times many times etc)

See JImmy Akin Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers: jimmyakin.com/2007/03/specific_confes.html

Oh. Thanks!

 

[savone]

Schedule an appointment and this will allow for the priest to allot for sufficient time. Also, and this is hindsight speaking here, I would request for the confession to be held in the confessional and not the priest’s office. For me, it was a considerable distraction.

 

[SuperLuigi]

I was baptized as a catholic when i was young i never really got serious about religion until this year due to problems in my life(excess drinking stuff like that). Anyways i am thinking of scheduling an appointment for confession and see what i should do next. But my question is am i going to have to confess every single sin that i remember for the last 23 years of my life? If so i imagine its going to take a while

You’ll need to confess all of your mortal sins in kind and number. You should not need to go into a bunch of details.

Just start by telling the priest I committed Sin X several times throughout my life or once or whatever the case may be.

 

[JRS_88]

I came back to the church after 31 years. I called the priest at the church up the street, and briefly explained that I hadn’t been to confession since I was 13yrs old.

Before going to confession, I did like others have said, I found an examination of conscience online and I took out a notebook, writing down the mortal sins
I could remember. I also wrote down other sins, or things I thought were sins. I was poorly catechized as a child.

The actual confession took about an hour. It was a mixture of confession and spiritual direction. I did use my list. It was easier for me to read than remember things due to my nerves. I wrote out the Act of Contrition as well. For frequent/habitual sins I said things like “many times”, “too numerous to mention”, “very often”.

Making a serious, lengthy, deep examination of conscience using one of the guides you can find online is very very important. Trying to “wing it” after many years isn’t going to be the best thing for you. I feel that a person needs to do this deep examination because it will humble you.

 

[ccmcmg]

You’ll need to confess all of your mortal sins in kind and number. You should not need to go into a bunch of details.

Just start by telling the priest I committed Sin X several times throughout my life or once or whatever the case may be.

God bless you as you return to the Faith!

To be honest, people telling me that I needed to confess each mortal sin in kind and number, despite having not been to church or confession in 10+ years really discouraged me. There was absolutely no way I could have done that, not even an approximation. It truly discouraged me that I could make a good confession, and if I couldn’t, then why bother?

I explained the situation to the priest (being away for so long) at the beginning of the confession, and unfortunately, had to use the words ‘numerous’, ‘often’ and ‘too many to count and remember’ over the past XXX years. The priest did not tell me I needed to say XXX number of times, yet I was absolved of my sins. So, of course, do a complete and thorough examination of conscience, and make a good confession. I made the best confession I knew how.

If I commit a mortal sin, I go to Confession and Mass as soon as I can, therefore I can say how many times I committed XXX sin. But for a period of 5, 10, 20, 30 years? Be specific as you can, but don’t despair over not knowing how many times you missed mass, or was impure with yourself. From today forward, pray not to sin again.

 

[Bookcat]

Oh. Thanks!

Your welcome.

And I would add that while one is not obliged to confess venial sins (they can be forgiven in many other ways) -it is very good to confess at least some and to go to frequent confession -for such is a very important Sacrament and with its particular graces.

As to mortal sin we are obliged to confess all mortal sins -and in number and kind (and that which changes the kind -like it was a chalice from Church that one stole).

 

[dividus]

Heaven help the scrupulous on such a thread as this.

 

[Bookcat]

Those who struggle with such need to have a “regular confessor” to assist them.

 

[cadet17]

Writing your sins down as you conduct your examinations of conscience is helpful, and if you can’t remember the number of times you done something try to make an estimate and if not just say you’ve done it too many times to count. This is the best advice I have to offer

 

[Brendan_64]

In reality, if you have a long list and you’re struggling to get through it, the priest will draw it to a close by jumping in and granting absolution. If that happens then all your sins are forgiven, even the ones you meant to mention but didn’t, and any sins you have forgotten about are also forgiven. So long as you haven’t deliberately kept any sins hidden from the priest, then the slate is wiped completely clean.

Bearing in mind the amazing nature of what happens to us in Confession, and the fact that (so long as we don’t deliberately fail to mention a sin) we are completely cleansed and given a fresh start, it is sad that so few people seem to go. Is the modern phenomena of the cult of the individual that has led to this? The individual is supreme and is entitled to decide who has, and who has not, got a right to know about their individual personal business?

When we sin, we separate ourselves not just from God but from each other as the Body of Christ on Earth. Sin is not just a private matter between the individual and God, an individual’s sin is a matter concerning us all. That is why confessing our sins to God, in the presence of a representative of the Church (i.e. the priest) is necessary. Sin is not a private matter.

 

[Sdrogerson]

I am nearly 62 and will soon make my very first confession, this thread and others have been an immense help, thank you

 

[Bookcat]

If one later remembers a forgotten mortal sin one confesses it in the next confession.