MERGED: Inappropriate attire worn by girl assisting at mass/Dress Code

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I’m not going to judge the individual in the OP. Perhaps she was called on at the last minute and perhaps no one has ever told her what type of clothing is appropriate in different circumstances.

But overall I don’t think it hurts to talk with the pastor about how the ministers dress in general. My parish implemented a dress code for everyone involved in a ministry at Mass. It applies to lectors, EMHCs, altar servers (even though they wear albs), catechists who lead dismissals of catechumens or the Children’s Liturgy of the Word, ushers, the choir…anyone involved with the Mass.

It’s not strict by any means, but covers things like no shorts, bare shoulders, tank tops, flip flops, and a few other things.

The pastor said he was tired of getting complaints from people that the altar server was wearing flip flops or the EMHC was in shorts. This way everyone knows what the standard is.

I have to add, however, that getting the parish leadership group to agree on even these minimal standards was difficult.
 
Advocatus_Fidei said:
She shouldn’t have been allowed through the doors let alone into the sanctuary, raise your concerns with the priest then you will just have to leave it with him.

What I have seen happen here in Europe is the ushers cover such women in a huge shawl.

Maybe he could put up a sign like this one they have at St, Peters at the Vatican.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_T3lg6p_ATmc/TAqvsN3RPhI/AAAAAAAAGAg/GWCX3Ez7j-I/s1600/DressCode-JG.jpg

And more importantly make sure the Ushers ensure the dress code is resepcted, if you turn up at St. Peters dressed immodestly you can only enter if you are cover up and so some people end up looking like this:

3.bp.blogspot.com/_cQ2xhpZfenk/Sl9Nl22aItI/AAAAAAAAKMY/JLY8iYiPNi8/s1600-h/crypt+grotto.JPG
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I love this post! :love:
But the fact is that if parishes took Rome as a model, we’d be using more Latin, incense, and our priests would have the courage to actually dress like priests, in and out of Mass (I mean a real cassock, and dignified vestments)
 
I wrestled with shoving my two cents out, but I’m going to do it anyways.

There’s a difference between being inappropriately dressed to serve a liturgical function and being inappropriately dressed to come into God’s house. It sounds, in my own narrow opinion, that she really didn’t satisfy either.

However, I would rather give her instruction, or make the parish aware of the requirements for serving in some capacity.

I have to confess, I fell into that category once too. I came for confessions before the vigil mass on Saturday evening, and just lost track of time and decided to stay for the mass. I wasn’t dressed nicely-in jeans and a hawaiian-style shirt. A couple minutes into the mass, the sacristan asked me if I could serve as an EMHC, since they were short. I hadn’t planned on attending mass, let alone serving, but the mass was pretty light, and I didn’t see anyone else I knew who was installed to serve, so I reluctantly said yes. I felt more self-conscious that time than I did the first time I served, wearing a full suit and tie. Of course, when we got up there, we realized that the altar servers had forgotten to bring the extra cups, so there were three of us standing there with no cups to distribute, so we had to go sit down again.

The point of this story is, sometimes we don’t anticipate everything life throws at us. Even other people.

Perhaps ask your pastor to do the same thing ours did: turn the AC way up, and keep the Church at a perpetual 60 degrees. That keeps most people fairly well dressed. 👍
 
People who participate should be held to a higher standard. For example, when I serve Mass, I am requires to wear black pants and shoes under my cassock. However, I disagree with strict dress codes for Mass. We shouldn’t obsess over the clothes people wear to Mass. People should dress modestly, but this is not always the case. Instead of being distracted and totally losing sight of the purpose of the Mass, we should be happy that these people are at Mass rather than being horrified of their dress and judging them on the spot. I think it is very uncharitable.

As for V2 being responsible. Let’s get real. What don’t people blame V2 for.
 
As a general thing, dress codes should not be created or inforced. The reason behind this is the idea that all should be allowed into the Church. One idea might be to have clothes at the Church that could be given to someone that came that was dressed inappropriately, but to turn someone away because they aren’t dressed respectively is wrong and unChristian. There are, for example, some homeless people would don’t have nice clothes.
There are exceptions. For example at St.Peter’s. However, if someone was refused entrance into St.Peters, that person could simply walk 1 block to receive Communion. If someone was refused entrance at my parish, they would have to drive at least 30 minutes away to receive Communion.
Those that are serving in some capacity, like lectoring, cantoring, altar server, extraordinary Eucharistic minister, etc. should not be allowed to serve if they show up in unrespectable clothing without an excuse.
 
bmadamsberry said:
As a general thing, dress codes should not be created or inforced. The reason behind this is the idea that all should be allowed into the Church. One idea might be to have clothes at the Church that could be given to someone that came that was dressed inappropriately, but to turn someone away because they aren’t dressed respectively is wrong and unChristian. There are, for example, some homeless people would don’t have nice clothes.
There are exceptions. For example at St.Peter’s. However, if someone was refused entrance into St.Peters, that person could simply walk 1 block to receive Communion. If someone was refused entrance at my parish, they would have to drive at least 30 minutes away to receive Communion.
Those that are serving in some capacity, like lectoring, cantoring, altar server, extraordinary Eucharistic minister, etc. should not be allowed to serve if they show up in unrespectable clothing without an excuse.
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I was with you until the “excuse” part; they should not be allowed to serve in the liturgy if dressed inappropriately, period. Serving in any capacity is one of the greatest honors a lay person can enjoy and demands a very high level of respect on the part of the server.
 
lizaanne said:
I don’t think you’d at all be out of line to inquire about implementing a dress code, but I do think it’s helpful when we’re tempted to judge others’ attire to pratice giving them the benefit of the doubt.
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This unacceptable response is Catholic moral teaching. From the Catechism:
2478
To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

I hardly see why it is unacceptable for a Catholic to suggest that we behave in concert with what the Church teaches. We can not remove the speck of immodesty from the eye of our neighbor is we keep the beam of rash judgement in our own eye.
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pnewton said:
This unacceptable response is Catholic moral teaching. From the Catechism:
2478
To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

I hardly see why it is unacceptable for a Catholic to suggest that we behave in concert with what the Church teaches. We can not remove the speck of immodesty from the eye of our neighbor is we keep the beam of rash judgement in our own eye.
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This is not rash judgement - this is an accurate judgement in a very positive way. There is nothing rash about looking at someone dressed for the beach and knowing that they don’t belong at the ambo giving the readings at Mass. A rash judgement would be to say that she did it deliberately and with malice, or to say slanderous things such as “she is a bad Catholic”. No one has done that here. What we have done is to say that no one acted to stop this. She is a kid - no adult stopped this from happening. That is a major problem that needs to be addressed in many parishes, and apparently the one in question.

~Liza
 
Bob_Aliano said:
I was with you until the “excuse” part; they should not be allowed to serve in the liturgy if dressed inappropriately, period. Serving in any capacity is one of the greatest honors a lay person can enjoy and demands a very high level of respect on the part of the server.
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Sorry, bad place of words. I mean an excuse on the part of the needs of the church. I once went to a daily Mass where their reader was sick and didn’t come. It was near a holiday weekend, so very few people were there. I was the only one that could do the reading to any decent degree, but I had shorts on (I had been outside working). Excuses like that which are, to be fair, very rare.
 
lizaanne said:
This is not rash judgement - this is an accurate judgement in a very positive way. There is nothing rash about looking at someone dressed for the beach and knowing that they don’t belong at the ambo giving the readings at Mass.
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I totally agree. I also think that there was nothing inappropriate about, “to judge others’ attire to pratice giving them the benefit of the doubt.” If she as a kid does not know better, that is one possible benefit of the doubt, or judging in the most favorable light.
 
pnewton said:
I totally agree. I also think that there was nothing inappropriate about, “to judge others’ attire to pratice giving them the benefit of the doubt.” If she as a kid does not know better, that is one possible benefit of the doubt, or judging in the most favorable light.
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But why didn’t an adult correct the situation? So the kid had no idea what she was doing - fine, kids do that. But the fact that NO ONE in the parish apparently gave a darn to stop it from happening and let her go up there like that and do the readings!! THAT is an issue! And yes it very certainly does deserve a great deal of judgement.

~Liza
 
lizaanne said:
But why didn’t an adult correct the situation? So the kid had no idea what she was doing - fine, kids do that. But the fact that NO ONE in the parish apparently gave a darn to stop it from happening and let her go up there like that and do the readings!! THAT is an issue! And yes it very certainly does deserve a great deal of judgement.~Liza
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I agree. So often it is the adults or those in charge of a certain ministry or the priest himself who are ultimately responsible.

It’s also important to realize that the OP didn’t say that it was the girl’s fault, but was simply describing the situation and wondering whether or not to mention it to the priest.
The OP also needs to be judged in the “most favorable light”.
 
OK, I’m a pretty lassez-faire person, but where was this young girl’s mother or father? Maybe she drives and went to Mass by herself, but if she rode with her family then there is no excuse for her dress. As parents, all of us have had the “we are not leaving this house unless you change your clothes” fights with both teenage girls and boys.😉 I seriously doubt if she was trying to be disrespectful, she was just trying to be a typical sixteen year old. (I teach high school btw). I know her parents were probably mortified when she took to the podium and they really got an eyeful!:eek:
 
kozlosap said:
I know her parents were probably mortified when she took to the podium and they really got an eyeful!:eek:
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Or not. And therein lies another layer of the problem. But again - it is a lack of adult responsibility that allowed this to happen. Parents, priest, parishioners, SOMEONE who could have stopped the girl from reading that day without proper clothing.

It’s like people walking by a person being beat to death and not doing anything. Everyone is ready to talk about it, but no one ever wants to do anything to change the situation. And I am NOT pointing the finger at the OP - he only noticed it when the girl got up to speak. She should have been stopped well before that. Surely someone knew who the reader was for that Mass, these things are not just a surprise.

~Liza
 
A few years ago I had the same situation where a young lady was asked to be lector and she had hot pants on. Obviously all attention was on her. Regardless if you are lectoring or not you should always dress appropriatly for church. You never know when you will be called upon to lector or Extra Ordinary Minister of Communion or in whateever cpacity you serve in.
 
I’ll probably get ‘flamed’ for this-but I’ll say it anyway…so here goes…:o

All these posts indicate that the priests should be doing the readings at Mass, as well as distributing Communion. This is what they were ordained to do.

There…I said it…

[now watching for the wrath of everybody else on this forum…ducks]
 
barb_finnegan said:
I’ll probably get ‘flamed’ for this-but I’ll say it anyway…so here goes…:o

All these posts indicate that the priests should be doing the readings at Mass, as well as distributing Communion. This is what they were ordained to do.

There…I said it…

[now watching for the wrath of everybody else on this forum…ducks]
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Hey - no flames from me. I don’t have a problem in the world with the priest actually doing the readings and distributing Holy Communion. What a concept. :rolleyes:

However - that is a bit off topic. The problem is that a partially dressed girl was allowed at the ambo. That needed to be resolved before it ever happened. If a properly clothed reader was up there, this thread never would have happened.

~Liza
 
I have no problem with the priest distributing Communion. However, having a priest do all of the readings isn’t the norm called for in the rubrics.
 
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