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ComputerGeek25
Guest
Simply being “scared” or “nervous” or “I’ve been hurt before” is not good enough reason not to meet. If these feelings get in the way, then perhaps the person is not ready to seriously date.
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gettingthere
Guest
In my opinion they are valid reasons to be cautious about meeting someone you met online. I met my husband online and I was VERY cautious about meeting him for the first time. It’s scary, especially if you’ve been lied to before.
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ComputerGeek25
Guest
Everyone should be catious - as well as being a little scared or nervous. And, I know a lot of mis-represention goes on.
However, that does not mean that after a reasonable amount of time, you still have doubts about meeting.
If you’re just going to hide behind the computer screen, why even sign up for a singles site?
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Nanny_PK
Guest
I will just respectfully disagree.
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chevalier
Guest
Online relationships live their own life. Sometimes that life is separate from reality. Sometimes reality fails to live up. Talking online is fine. Small delays in meeting in person aren’t bad, especially if it starts off pretty romantic. Then it probably takes a while to adjust to the thought that you’ll be crossing the personal sphere with someone you’ve only seen on photos so far if at all. However, keeping it online only is not an option. That’s just a temporary state.
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HappyPerson
Guest
That constitutes “emotional baggage,” not , “valid reasons.” Any woman who would punish a man, because of something that another man (or men) have done, is NOT a woman who is ready to love or be loved. She should seek CATHOLIC counseling, and the ability to forgive, through God’s grace. She needs to emotionally recover. Only after she tosses her baggage away will she be capable of functioning in a real life relationship. It is NOT worth the wait for that to happen.
This, however is all conjecture in terms of applying the aforementioned scenario to the woman talking to the OP.
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idontknow
Guest
- Well I think Saturday I will ask here if she wants to meet next saturday to get a soda at a certain place. If she says she isn’t ready still (Almost 2 months), then I’m not sure what I will do for sure. I do like her, but I can’t wait around for someone that might not be interested. So I will probably say something about if your aren’t willing to meet me, then this relationship can’t go anywhere and that’s not what I’m looking for."
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BamaRider
Guest
Paula said-
Define “real losers.” hehehehe! Did he show up with high water pants, and pocket protector?
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Nanny_PK
Guest
I probably could have handled that with a trip to the mall 
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HappyPerson
Guest
I agree. It is absolute torture for a man when a woman has no problem expressing STRONG romantic feelings for him on the internet or over the phone, but then when meeting face to face can’t express those same feelings.
The man is expecting the feelings to get even stronger face to face, and then is made to feel as if he did/said/didn’t do/didn’t say something wrong face to face, for her to suddenly be unable to express those same emotions. Or, he thinks that she doesn’t find him physically attractive, or whatever.
Personally, I feel that no woman has any business expressing romantic feelings to a man over the phone or on the internet, if she can’t also express those same, if not deeper feelings face to face. It is cold, cruel, and inexcusable for a woman to do that type of thing to a man. The poor guy waits to finally see her, and then when he does, she is nothing like she was online or over the phone. The way she made him feel so good is all gone and instead she makes him feel like garbage, or that she lost all those feelings. That is sick and twisted, REGARDLESS of the woman’s intentions or social phobias.
Meeting face to face should make relationships grow STRONGER, not weaker.
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BamaRider
Guest
Paula came back and said-
So you did meet a guy wearin high water pants?? How did ya get outta of it? Didja go to the restroom and not come back?? LOL.
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Nanny_PK
Guest
The particular date I’m thinking about, if he’d had the high waters and pocket protectors would have been the least of his issues
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idontknow
Guest
Ok, I haven’t responded on here for 4 months, but I thought I would give anyone interested an update on what happened with me and the girl that wasn’t ready:
Ok, so I tried again by asking her to meet for a soda, and got rejected for the 3rd time (over 2 months), but I couldn’t move on (even though I got hurt pretty bad). I am “Very” picky in what I am looking for in a girl. And I didn’t think that I could find anyone else that compared to her in what I was looking for. She told me she would try and work on it. She had to prepare herself. (She isn’t too confident and has never had a boyfriend or anyone care about her - very hard for her to take that chance.)
So at our 3 months we was talking and I hinted about the meeting, and she still sounded not ready. So I asked her to be more than friends, and we’d meet when she was ready. I needed some commitment since I was waiting for her. She agreed, but not to make it official or publicize it (so we was girlfriend & boyfriend, but not telling others since we hadn’t met - Was seeing someone if asked.)
So at 4 months, I was hoping that she’d meet me for our 1 month anniversary, but she still wasn’t ready. (Also, we got webcams after 3 months so we got to see each other every nite and that was great.) - She didn’t really think about that and I was hurt. She then promised to really try and set something up. So before Thanksgiving about our 5 month and 2nd together, we met but with 2 friends each (Her friends wanted to hang out with her and encouraged our meeting, so they might have helped).
We met at Buffalo Wild Wings, they suggested that me and her eat separate, and that was nice. We talked some, but spent quite a bit of time looking at each other smiling. Then we went Bowling. I gave her dasies (her favorite) before we went in. She really like them. After that, I rode with her and we drove around before we got ice cream. We didn’t go home until around 1 a.m. It was a lot of fun, and worth the Long wait.
Since then we meet about 2 weeks later, she let me come see her. She ordered a pizza since it was her busy nite, we watched a movie and talked. Then she took me to her school and showed me around. That was neat. After that she showed me her town. We went back to her house and I got ready to leave at 10:30, but then things came up and it was like, have you seen this, did I tell you that…And I was in no hurry to leave so I stayed till 1 and got home at 2:30 on a week nite (boy was we tired the next day
).
We also met last Thursday in Topeka. She had to get her seat belt replaced and I picked her up (I was off for an appointment). We went to a few shopping places and ate at Olive Garden. We didn’t do much, but just spending time with her is what I enjoy the most. We was going to meet this week, but the weather ruined that and she is leaving on a family vacation at the end of the week. So hopefully after that we will do something again.
So, I waited for a long time for her, but I was right she was worth waiting for and I really enjoy being with her and feel lucky that she is my girlfriend. Hopefully things continue to progress and work out.
Just thought I’d let anyone that was interested know. - Thanx for the advice.
Ok, so I tried again by asking her to meet for a soda, and got rejected for the 3rd time (over 2 months), but I couldn’t move on (even though I got hurt pretty bad). I am “Very” picky in what I am looking for in a girl. And I didn’t think that I could find anyone else that compared to her in what I was looking for. She told me she would try and work on it. She had to prepare herself. (She isn’t too confident and has never had a boyfriend or anyone care about her - very hard for her to take that chance.)
So at our 3 months we was talking and I hinted about the meeting, and she still sounded not ready. So I asked her to be more than friends, and we’d meet when she was ready. I needed some commitment since I was waiting for her. She agreed, but not to make it official or publicize it (so we was girlfriend & boyfriend, but not telling others since we hadn’t met - Was seeing someone if asked.)
So at 4 months, I was hoping that she’d meet me for our 1 month anniversary, but she still wasn’t ready. (Also, we got webcams after 3 months so we got to see each other every nite and that was great.) - She didn’t really think about that and I was hurt. She then promised to really try and set something up. So before Thanksgiving about our 5 month and 2nd together, we met but with 2 friends each (Her friends wanted to hang out with her and encouraged our meeting, so they might have helped).
We met at Buffalo Wild Wings, they suggested that me and her eat separate, and that was nice. We talked some, but spent quite a bit of time looking at each other smiling. Then we went Bowling. I gave her dasies (her favorite) before we went in. She really like them. After that, I rode with her and we drove around before we got ice cream. We didn’t go home until around 1 a.m. It was a lot of fun, and worth the Long wait.
Since then we meet about 2 weeks later, she let me come see her. She ordered a pizza since it was her busy nite, we watched a movie and talked. Then she took me to her school and showed me around. That was neat. After that she showed me her town. We went back to her house and I got ready to leave at 10:30, but then things came up and it was like, have you seen this, did I tell you that…And I was in no hurry to leave so I stayed till 1 and got home at 2:30 on a week nite (boy was we tired the next day
).We also met last Thursday in Topeka. She had to get her seat belt replaced and I picked her up (I was off for an appointment). We went to a few shopping places and ate at Olive Garden. We didn’t do much, but just spending time with her is what I enjoy the most. We was going to meet this week, but the weather ruined that and she is leaving on a family vacation at the end of the week. So hopefully after that we will do something again.
So, I waited for a long time for her, but I was right she was worth waiting for and I really enjoy being with her and feel lucky that she is my girlfriend. Hopefully things continue to progress and work out.
Just thought I’d let anyone that was interested know. - Thanx for the advice.
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BamaRider
Guest
Well I’m glad to see it has been working so far.
To avoid going back through all these threads, how old are y’all? And how far do y’all live from each other?
What did ya get her Christmas?
To avoid going back through all these threads, how old are y’all? And how far do y’all live from each other?
What did ya get her Christmas?
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idontknow
Guest
Thanx.
We are both 25 years old. I live in Holton, KS and she lives in Burlington, KS. It is around an hour and a half drive to see one another. (Topeka is only a half hour for me and around an hour for her, in between us).
We are both 25 years old. I live in Holton, KS and she lives in Burlington, KS. It is around an hour and a half drive to see one another. (Topeka is only a half hour for me and around an hour for her, in between us).
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chevalier
Guest
Good think you two got to meet. Since you got to meet, there’s no reason to dwell on the past and since you two are talking and it’s progressing well, you’re going to find out the reasons on your own anyway. Godspeed.
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OSUbride0708
Guest
Idontknow, I’m glad you guys got to meet. Before I read your latest response I was going to say 2 months isn’t long at all if you really like her, and I was also going to suggest meeting with friends there. It’s great that everything worked out for you!
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idontknow
Guest
I know that 2 months wasn’t that long, but at the same time it was hard waiting…for her to give me (us) a real chance. Especially since from the beginning the plan was to become more.
I guess the biggest problem I had was that everytime I asked about meeting she would just tell me that she wasn’t ready…That didn’t sound like much of a reason, and was the same each time. I guess I was a little worried that maybe she would never be ready. I really like her and didn’t want to continue to fall for her even more and then have her tell me that she decided that she didn’t want to date or something. (That is one of the reasons I asked her to be more than friends at 3 months until she was ready to meet, for some commitment.)
I was kind of on hold waiting for her (because I didn’t want to try and find anyone else and didn’t think I would be happy with another girl). But being 25 trying to find someone is very important to me right now, so I didn’t want to waste a lot of time for nothing, which it wasn’t.
Thanx.
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chevalier
Guest
Well, that’s rather odd at age 25, but it’s better that she took time and got to it at her own pace than if she had rushed it against her own inclination. The latter breeds resentment. Perhaps it was the first time for her to meet someone in real life whom she had only met online before? Besides, we guys won’t be assaulted by a female. The ladies don’t have it that easy.
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idontknow
Guest
I don’t think I had mentioned before, but this thing is about as new to me as it was her. I had only had one girlfriend before her and only for a couple of weeks (after talking to my girlfriend now, it made the other thing seem like it was just a friendship).
We both were each other’s first (real) kiss. And as we have said, we will stumble through things together, since we don’t really know how or what we are spose to do with things, since everything is new to us.
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