In all charity, some of the answers in this thread are beliefs held by those posting. This fellow has to have his own faith and belief.
I watched a show on EWTN the other night about exorcism and possesion. This bought up a huge question for me.
Questions are good. If you are going to grow as a person, as a human being, then the best answers come from within.
For the past three years I have had a very strong addiciton to porn. I pray, go to confession, go to mass, wear the scapular, wear a crucifix, use Holy Water, and wear a St. Benedict medal, all with good and true faith.
Everything is energy. Even porn is a form of energy.
Lemme explain. Everything has electrons, protons and neutrons bashing around in cells. Raise the temperature of water, the electrons, protons and neutrons all go faster and faster and the water becomes steam. Lower the temperature, the electrons, protons and neutrons all go slower and slower, and the water becomes ice.
So everything is energy. Now then, there is another spiritual tradition that teaches that
food is everything you take in through the senses. What you see, hear, touch, taste and smell is food for the body, mind and spirit. You are a seamless unity of the three, body-mind-spirit.
The more you take in porn, the more you feed your mind with it. The mind becomes
attached to porn, as you say below:
But on the bus ride home this idea of porn implants itself in my head. I say prayers all the way home. When I get home I look at it anyway.
As you think, so you become. As you feel, so you become. Put the two together and thus, you create your reality. So Church, sacraments, spirituality are your defense against that, your eternal promise of salvation.
BUT
you must first master the mind and become a mastermind. The mind is your servant, not your master. You are not the slave of your mind. You must manage your mind, with the Name of the Lord, full concentration, full determination. Repeat the Name of the Lord with love, with devotion. The Lord will respond.
But the strange thing is, I can think about God, the Blessed Mother, etc. all while looking at it, but can’t stop.
This is not the way to manage it. Start with the Lord, stay with the Lord. Start the day with Love, spend the day with Love, fill the day with Love, end the day with Love; this is the way to God.
After I feel really bad but sometimes go back the same day. Sometimes it happens three or four times if I have a day off.
You are letting your mind have its way with you. Reverse the process, become the witness, observe this desire within you and manage that. Then repeat the name of the Lord. Do not put food for your senses, food for your desires back in front of you. Get rid of it, destroy it, remove it. The only way to do that is to turn to the Lord with love, repeat the name of the Lord with full concentration, full determination.
I was wondering if I might have a demon in me.
Please Help!
No, you simply need to learn that food is anyting that is taken in via the five senses, and you need to STOP putting this food in front of you, manage your mind, become a mastermind, and thus, get back in control of your life. Desires will not give you any satisfaction. That sort of desire is an ever-burning fire which will never go out unless you PUT IT OUT.
Love and sacrifice endow you onto the path of the Lord Jesus. Recall the sacrifice of Jesus; we also are called to the same path. The defintion of JOY is
Jesus First
Others Next
Yourself last.
So put your desires last and Jesus first.
